Note: Some parts are almost rated M for implications.

 

 

 

 

 

Karina

 

Our 4 years may look like rainbows, unicorns, and everything nice to others who just see us on the surface.

 

Well, not gonna lie, tama naman. It feels like it most of the time.

 

I could say it’s been mostly easy... to say the least. Wala naman masyadong hurdles. We don’t fight that much - only on stupid things.

 

“Babe, parang sobra naman yung patatas na nilagay mo.” Pag-comment ko dun sa nilagay ni Winter na mga hiniwa niyang patatas sa kumukulong bowl.

 

“The more, the merrier!” Sarcastic at pang-asar na sagot ni Winter and I didn’t like her tone.

 

I specifically instructed her kung ilang patatas lang ang dapat ilagay.

 

Pero parang nang-aasar pa siya.

 

Hindi ko siya pinansin buong preparation namin ng lunch.

 

Nung dumating na sila Ning at Giselle, napansin nila agad ang atmosphere sa pagitan naming dalawa.

 

“Oh, anyare? May war?” Tanong ni Giselle. Curious naman kaming pinagmasdan ni Ning habang ngumunguya.

 

Si Winter ang sumagot. Maanghang ang pagkasabi niya at pagalit niyang tinusok yung isang patatas. “Dahil kay Mr. Potato, galit sakin si Karina.”

 

Napatigil ako sa pagkain at binitawan yung spoon and fork sa table. “Hindi ako ang may kasalanan kung ikaw yung hindi nakikinig ng maayos.”

 

“Anu daw? Mr Potato? Sino yun? Third party?” Singit ni Ning.

 

Nagtititigan lang kami ng masama ni Winter.

 

But then just like all the others, we couldn’t get on this journey in our relationship in just a straight peaceful path, right?

 

May mga times that we have to face a zigzag road with boulders being thrown to us from left and right, life happens and just catches up on just about anyone including us - but what really matters is, at the end of the day…

 

Winter and I are still very much in love with each other.

 

She still affects me in every possible way.

 

She still makes me swoon.

 

4 years being in a relationship with her… hmm, 4 years, what do we have…

 

It was a rollercoaster and some.

 

Hindi literal.

 

Naalala ko kasi si Winter, every time I use that phrase, yung literal na ride ang pumapasok sa isip niya. I would be “...emotional rollercoaster.” and she would go, “When, sest? Tara!!”

 

I was honestly shocked when she vowed not to ride it anymore kasi ayaw daw niya mahulog… at marami pa daw siyang plans with me. I was touched at first. It was sweet. But then just a second after, hindi nga rollercoaster ang sasakyan niya but she continues to hop on other dangerous and extreme rides. Kagaya nung Drop Tower. Hays. Typical of her.

 

So… looking back sa 4 years namin, sobrang daming nangyari.

 

More on the good.

 

So much love was made.

 

Tears were shed too.

 

It’s always an adventure, an experience… it’s always exciting when I’m with my bestfriend who happens to also be my favorite person in the universe.

 

Our first year?

 

A lot of firsts happened.

 

My first kiss.

 

My first girlfriend.

 

My first relationship.

 

My first make out session.

 

My first… ual experience.

 

You know… it’s all her.

 

After I reached the peak, binati niya ko ng happy birthday and sinabing naorder na rin daw niya yung socks na gusto ko.

 

I was panting hard beside her, both of us looking at the dark ceiling of my room.

 

Wow… ganito pala.

 

Hindi pa rin ako makapagsalita… wait lang!

 

Did we just?

 

Really, really, really did it this time?

 

All the way?

 

Yes.

 

I was still feeling tingly down there.

 

Napapikit ako ng madiin, riding the high.

 

“Sest?” Winter kissed my shoulders. “Okay ka lang?”

 

Napalingon ako sa mga mata niya which looked concerned. “Yup, I’m…I’m good.”

 

“Sure ka? Parang di pa yata yun yon, sest.”

 

Naguluhan ako sa sinabi niya. “Ha?”

 

Lumapit si Winter sa tenga ko at bumulong with her one hand na nakatakip pa na parang ayaw niya talagang may makarinig kahit kaming dalawa lang ang nandito. “E diba, sest, ipapasok pa?”

 

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. Napabulong din tuloy ako. “H-hindi mo ba pinasok?”

 

I really didn’t notice what she did there, I was just feeling it!

 

“Hindi eh... baka masaktan ka.” Nagkamot siya ng ulo. “Isa pa? Ipasok ko ba?”

 

Sunod sunod na ang tanong niya that I couldn’t keep up. Hindi pa ako nga ako nakakamove-on sa ginawa niya kanina. Hindi pa pala daw yun yon? Bakit parang.. yun na yon? “Hindi ko alam, sest…”

 

Mahinang humagikgik si Winter na pumaibabaw sa akin at hinalikan ako sa pisngi. “Sabihin mo kung papasok ako o hindi. Baka suspended eh… wala palang pasok.”

 

Hinampas ko siya sa braso at pinalibot ang mga kamay ko sa leeg niya. I stared deeply at her eyes and brought her nearer to my lips.

 

I was decided and even more ready that time.

 

Walang suspension.

 

“Sorry, may pasok eh…” I kissed her hard.

 

It’s in our first year that we did it together but we were still clueless back then, inexperienced, and timid.

 

It’s in our 2nd year that things got even more intense.

 

I could say we were more versed that year?

 

We literally couldn’t keep our hands off each other.

 

I remembered that one time, may gala kami kasama nila Ning at Selle to watch a romcom film sa cinema.

 

“Ang boring… inaantok ako.” Kahit sobrang dilim, ramdam ko ang intense na pagtitig sa akin ni Winter.

 

Mahigpit din ang hawak niya sa kamay ko.

 

Hindi na siya nanunuod ng movie kahit nasa na part na.

 

Nakatingin lang siya sa akin.

 

Pero we’re here hanging out with our friends, whatever she wants right now… it can wait naman hanggang makarating kami sa dorm, right?

 

Just a few more hours to endure.

 

Yung daliri niya… she’s circling it and caressing on my hand.

 

It’s making me feel something.

 

Ayoko sanang lumingon sa kanya but heck, I couldn’t help myself kaya napatingin na din ako.

 

My breath hitched and I swallowed when I finally looked at her.

 

Her beautiful face… slightly illuminated by the light coming from the movie on the big screen.

 

Tama nga ako, she was gazing at me with this hungry look.

 

“You hungry?” Pa-ewan ko pang tanong when I know it all too well.

 

I’ve already memorized that look.

 

I know it… and I want it too.

 

But not right now, sest.

 

Don’t tempt me.

 

“Na-CCR ako.” Bulong ulit ni Winter. Her hot breath causing me to shiver and have goosebumps around my neck.

 

“Okay…” Sabi ko sa kanya. “Kwento ko na lang later nangyari, babe.”

 

“Samahan mo ko.” May urgency sa pagkasabi niya nun, yung nakahawak niyang kamay sa akin, binitawan niya at nilipat sa thigh ko.

 

She started the circling and caressing again.

 

Dahan dahan niyang dinadala yun hangga’t sa she’s already touching on my inner thigh.

 

Buti na lang walang nakakakita ng ginagawa niya because her hand’s being covered by my jacket.

 

I gritted my teeth. “Sest…”

 

I saw Winter pulled out her hand quickly and shrugged.

 

She even smirked.

 

After that, hindi na ako naka-focus sa movie.

 

All I could think of was my girlfriend who was beside me, looking so smug at proud sa ginawa niya.

 

I groaned internally.

 

I gave up.

 

Fine, just this one time.

 

Mabilis ang pagkatayo ko sa seat at sabay na hinila ang kamay ni Winter.

 

Pinapaalis pa kami nila Giselle habang dumadaan kami sa harap nila at hindi daw nila makita.

 

“Momol well.” Pahabol pa ni Ningning. “Bawal magpakwento ng nangyari ha.”

 

So when we came into one of the empty cubicles, I pushed her hard and gave her the kiss she wanted, scratch - that we both wanted.

 

I’m really pissed off at myself.

 

I’m always losing my control when I’m with her.

 

Nakapasok ang kamay ko sa belt loop ng pants ni Winter as I’m exploring .

 

Magkadikit ang aming mga katawan, slowly moving, and I could hear Winter’s short grunts and ragged breathing.

 

“You always do this…” Mainit na bulong ko habang pababa ang labi ko on her neck.

 

“Ang alin… sa CR?” Breathy na tanong ni Winter.

 

“No.. lagi mo kong napapasuko sa’yo.” Tumigil ako ng paghalik sa kanya at tinitigan lang siya.

 

Napadilat naman si Winter nung naramdaman niyang I stopped in the middle of our make out session.

 

At nung she leaned forward to kiss me again, I playfully dodged.

 

“Sest…” Sinamaan na niya ako ng tingin.

 

I chuckled softly and cupped her face as I gave a sweet peck on her lips. “Nung sinabi ni Ningning na bawal magpakwento ng nangyari, she really meant it. And I want to know what happened, babe.”

 

Winter was looking at me na parang di makapaniwala sa narinig.

 

Tinapik ko pa ang pisngi niya at natatawang binuksan ang cubicle para lumabas na.

 

When we got back to our seat, I held Winter’s hand, brought it under my jacket again, and I leaned in close to whisper in her ear, my lips grazing it. “Pag-uwi.”

 

Just one word.

 

Full of so much promise.

 

In our 3rd year, that’s when our college responsibilities begged more of our time.

 

Things got busier, subjects were harder, professors were more strict, and we had discovered our individual interests…

 

Especially Winter who got a sudde