She was ready. She had booked a room for herself in a cheap hotel near the airport for the remaining days as she had already taken out the deposit for her apartment. Tonight Jongin will be touching Seoul again and a huge part of her screamed that she was making the wrong decision of seeing him again while the other part was telling her to stop doing this.
She felt like she was going crazy with all the voices in her head but she knew that no matter what she will be waiting for him at the airport to welcome him. Part of her wanted to see him but mostly because she had to stop him if he were to come to her house directly like he does a lot of times. Tonight she will meet him at the airport and take him to his apartment, let him sleep and tomorrow she says her goodbyes.
Her finger felt empty and her mind screamed at her. She felt guilty not wearing her ring but there was no way she was stepping another foot into his apartment.
With just some minutes until he walked out of the door, she felt all of her nerves claw at her. Her palms felt clammy and her belly had nervous butterflies. She did not want to see him but she was also dying to see him.
What was she doing again? Isn’t she supposed to be angry at him, scream into his face and tear his life down for making her feel like so?
But then she loved him too much to do that. She couldn’t think of destroying him even though he had destroyed her. She does love him. Much too much.
She smoothened down her jeans and felt conscious of the way she looked. She was wearing a fitted jean and a fitted jacket which she had bought the other day. It felt sort of foreign but she finally felt like she was in her skin again and not that skin anymore but it would be the first after many years she appeared like this in front of Jongin. She couldn’t help but wonder what he would think about it.
Her hair and make-up were also different. She had cut it off till her shoulders and was dyed in a different color. She turns sideways to look at her reflection at the giant mirror that was there on their left. She looked like a different person… like the girl she was in college but a grown-up version of it.
Maybe this happened for a reason… and maybe that reason was to find herself again. Fully. Jongin was a jerk but he was still a jerk she loved.
People began to come out and she waited for her man with bated breath. Among the streams of human beings, she spots him the tanned, gorgeous person that was her man. Her heart stopped when she saw him and she felt like crying all over again. His face reminded her of that day all over again. Should she just run away? She doubts he would even notice her if she did.
But despite her roaring mind, her feet were glued and her eyes remained on him while her hands clutched the metal bar in front of her with all of her strength. She was fighting herself all over again.
No. she had to do this or she will regret it forever. She will lose sleep over it and all her life, her heart will remain here - in this spot without ever moving on… so she had to do this.
His eyes flitted over to hers and he abruptly stopped like he had forgotten how to walk. Someone dashed him from behind but he did not even seem to notice as he looked at her with surprise, with shock making her feel even more conscious than ever.
Lena tried to distract herself by watching the man who had dashed into him grumble and walk away before looking over at Jongin again. He still stood there with his mouth agape.
Suppressing her anger, her feelings of betrayal she let her love overtake her and waved at him with a small grin.
At that he bounded over, his poor suitcase dragg