It was weird waking up in the morning without his usual morning talk with his love but it had been a week now and maybe she was still dealing with all her dead-line.

He sighs as he cleaned his apartment once and for all. He had a cleaner over when he was gone like he always did but this time he was cleaning it out completely to accommodate his future woman. The only woman he would now allow inside this apartment.

He was still skeptical about having her here mainly because it had too much sin and she was too pure for this.

He had looked for family homes for them to move in once they were married and he would let go of this apartment but somehow he felt as though if she were to come here, her presence will cleanse this place and give him the strength to fight himself.

Today he was not needed at work although he still has to sign in, he would do that in the afternoon so the whole day he had the time to clean.

Maybe he will buy some nice wine and expensive beef for a nice dinner date with his love as he promised her.

Chuckling to himself at the thought of being with her, he dials her number only to frown when it says ‘unavailable’. That never happen even when he was overseas. Thinking about it though, her handset was rather old while his phone was the latest one in the market. He should get her a new phone.

Maybe he will get the exact copy of his for her and make couple phone cases or something like that. That will be cute.

Feeling warm he goes to his fridge to get some ice for his water when his doorbell rang. A feeling of dread came over him having an idea who it could be and he wondered what he should do.

The woman was there out there looking at him like she always did, wearing what she usually wears. He unknowingly gulps and did not resist when she pushes him in and starts doing what she usually did.

His body responded like it normally does and his resolve weakened. It was okay, right?

Just one last time…?

Just one last time.

* * *

He showers but it does nothing to make him feel clean. He was crying again, sobbing out his heart regretting, regretting, regretting.

But it was done. It had been done. Again.

How was he going to face her now? He had broken his promise… He could not keep his word to himself.

Can he trust himself to be normal after their marriage? Could he leave this life that easily now that he was in too deep? His flesh wanted too much… It was never enough. It had a mind of his own.

It was nightfall by the time he finished cleaning himself and drinking canned beer over his tears. He had managed to chase the woman away after his moment of weakness and successfully ignored all other doorbells that rang afte