Dara

 

After the conversation with Dongwon, he gave me the medicine that would help me heal. The medication made me sleepy, contributing to the fatigue of exhaustion, and caused me to doze off.

 

 

I slept until I couldn't sleep anymore. In my bed, I tested my strength. While wiggling my toes and moving my legs, I noticed there was a bearable ache. I deeply inhale and exhale, checking the extent at where my current diaphragm could reach before it was too painful. I checked my neck muscles. I couldn't look around the full 180 degrees, especially at where the heel wound was at. I didn't bother moving my shoulders. Even resting it still, it hurt.

 

 

I reclined the top half of the bed forward to the full 90 degrees and swung both of my legs over the edge of the bed. Successfully standing up, it felt as if I was learning how to walk all over again. I steadily moved to the desk that was right by the door, spotting a sling that I assumed was for me. Beside the sling was a digital clock that told me it was 5:43 in the afternoon. I leaned myself comfortably on the wall and slipped my arm through the hole of the sling. The cruel moments of sharp, hot tingles at my left shoulder passed by once I got the sling secured correctly.

 

 

I opened the door with my right hand, noticing that pain occurred on my left side even when I moved my right. I didn't bother in closing the door behind me. I knew I was going to go back in later I turned right and walked down the hall.

 

 

No one was in the living area and I moved further into the kitchen. In the kitchen, Dongwon was alone. He was putting two bowls on the island. He walked back to the stove and grabbed the small pot on the stovetop. He transferred the chicken and rice porridge from inside the pot to the two bowls, splitting the food evenly.

 

"Smells good," I said. Dongwon turned back to me and smiled, sliding a drawer open.

 

 

"You found the sling?" He asked, pointing at my resting arm with the pairs of spoon he had pulled out.

 

 

"Yeah," I replied. "Where is everyone?'

 

 

"They didn't want what I was making for you guys and went out. Take a seat, they'll be back in a bit. I'm going to wheel out Top so we can all eat together."

 

 

Right as Dongwon left, I heard car doors closing shut before being locked. The front door from the kitchen was out of
view but I knew it was being opened dueto the slight creak it made.

 

At the doorway, Chaerin, Taeyang, and Jiyong walked in one by one. Chaerin set a cup of frappuccino in front of me, "I thought you might need something to raise your blood pressure, your sugar level must be low."

 

 

"Thanks," I smiled. I was glad to see Chaerin. If it was me alone with her, I would have spilled everything that I wasn't able to tell Jiyong.

 

 

Chaerin  pouted, "No problem. I missed you!" She threw her arms around me and moved us side to side.

 

 

"Ow!" I said as her arm touched my wounded shoulder. I tried to stay balanced in my chair with the greater fear of me falling.

 

 

Jiyong grabbed Chaerin's hand and moved it off of me.

 

 

"You're hurting her," he said, sitting in the seat next to me.

 

 

I looked at him and when he met my eyes, I looked away.

 

 

"Sorry," Chaerin said, drawing back, "I really missed you."

 

 

"You are fine."

 

 

"Where is the doctor?" Taeyang asked. He was at the far end to the table, pulling out containers of food from the plastic bags that held the restaurant logo.

 

 

"He left to get Top," I answered.

 

 

On cue, the doctor emerged into the kitchen with Top in his medical bed sitting up.

 

 

"Are there medical bed that has remote-controlled wheels?" Top asked as Dongwon pushed him beside me.

 

 

"There is. We have some in the hospital but those are really expensive," said Dongwon.

 

 

"We should invest in one," Top said, after thinking about it. "Maybe then Dara and I can race on them and see who is
faster. Jiyong can we ge-"

 

 

"No," said Jiyong, shutting down Top's question.

 

 

I smiled at the thought of it and Dongwon chuckled. Dongwon opened a slide compartment from the bed which brought out a board that acted like a hovering table. Chaerin handed Dongwon, Top's bowl and he placed it in the center of Top's small bed table.

 

 

"Aaah," Top said as he opened his mouth, waiting for Dongwon to feed him.

 

 

"Feed yourself, Top. Your upper half is fine, however, Dara's upper half isn't,"

 

 

Dongwon said. "Can you eat without help?"

 

 

I was able to grab a hold of the spoon. It barely reached halfway to my lips. I tried to bend my head down to meet it but I halted to the pain.

 

 

Jiyong gentle took the spoon out of my hand. My gaze followed the spoon as he brought it up to his mouth. Cautiously, he blew the pool of porridge until there was no sign of steam rising. Jiyong placed his free hand, palm facing up, under my mouth to catch any falling food as he fed it to me.

 

 

Top snapped his fingers at Dongwon and pointed from his bowl to his opened mouth, "I'm waiting."

 

 

The doctor ignored Top and eventually he began to eat without the help of Dongwon.

 

 

"Dongwon, aren't you suppose to be at the hospital? Isn't today's your afternoon shift?" I asked, recalling his schedule.

 

 

"I called in sick," he said, covering his mouth to hide the chewed up subsandwich bites.

 

 

"How's Gummy?" I questioned, wondering about my old friend.

 

 

"She the same, forgetful as always," Dongwon broke out in a smile. "Did she tell you that me and her are dating?"

 

 

My eyebrows lifted up in amusement and I tilt my head in disbelief. The movement triggered instant regret. I pretended that it didn't hurt and told him, "No, she didn't. I haven't been talking to her because of the mafia. I lied and told her that I-"

 

 

"You were back with your parents because your dad has pelvis cancer," Dongwon said, revealing that Gummy had told him already.

 

 

"Close, it was prostate cancer," I corrected.

 

 

"My man, he be getting some," Taeyang said, bumping fist with Top who snickered.

 

 

"Ew, my dad doesn't really have prostate cancer." I pushed Jiyong's arm, telling him I didn't want to be fed anymore.

 

 

"Why did you chose to tell her that he had prostate cancer? Why not liver cancer? Kidney cancer?" Chaerin asked.

 

 

" cancer?" Taeyang suggested. Chaerin gave Taeyang a look to shut up. 

 

 

--

 

 

Jiyong

 

"Why do you always have to do that?" Chaerin asked Taeyang, questioning his sense of humor.

 

 

"What do you mean, Chaerin? Men can get cancer, too." 

 

 

Chaerin rolled her eyes, done with him.

 

 

"I didn't get to pick," Dara explained, answering Chaerin's original question.

 

 

"By the time I got my phone back, Aurelio texted that to Gummy."

 

 

"She believes it," said the doctor.

 

 

I fed Dara another spoon, making sure not to spill anything. Even though I was feeding her, I felt as if I was being ignored. She hasn't made eye contact with me and her body was weirdly shifted away.

 

 

After swallowing, Dara asked, "Have you told her about YG?"

 

 

"Nope. Have you told your parents?" Dr. Dongwon asked.

 

 

"No, that wouldn't be a good idea," Dara nervously chuckled.

 

 

"They'll have a heart attack, I bet, if they figured out you and the leader of YG are dating." The doctor laughed at the thought.

 

 

I sighed, wishing he didn't say that, and looked at Dara. She was looking at her empty bowl, forcing up chuckles.

 

 

"He he he," Dara said, uncomfortably.

 

 

"Anyways, it looks like I'm done with my food. I should go back and rest, I'm pretty exhausted."

 

 

"You might want to brush your teeth first," Dr. Dongwon suggested.

 

 

"Woah," Top said, sounding shocked,

 

 

"Are you a dentist too?" 

 

"I'm not."

 

Top was still confused and questioned, "Then, why did you tell her to brush her teeth?"

 

 

"For regular hygiene purposes," the doctor explained, sounding confused as to why Top would ask the question in the first place.

 

 

"Oh, okay. Are you going to brush my teeth for me?"

 

 

Dr. Dongwon frowned, "No."

 

Dara

 

"There's a bunch of toothbrushes in the bottom cabinet, under the sink, that you can choose from," Dongwon yelled from the living room, loud enough for me and Jiyong to hear from inside the bathroom.

 

 

Jiyong crouched down, opened the cabinet that Dongwon had described, and pulled out one toothbrush. It was colored
black. Jiyong added a strip of toothpaste onto the white bristles at the end.

 

 

"I-I can brush my teeth by myself," I said, trying to get myself out of the possible awkward situation.

 

 

"Please," Jiyong smirked, "You barely could feed yourself."

 

 

"That was weird enough and now you have to brush my teeth," I complained.

 

 

"I can call Taeyang to do it for you," Jiyong suggested.

 

 

 

I instantly opened my mouth for him to brush my teeth. Jiyong chuckled, placing his hand on chin to stable me, and began at it. Just like when I go to the dentist, I didn't know where to look. My eyes strayed away to the wall behind him, the mirror, and the paintings that were hung up above the toilet. In my peripheral vision, I could see Jiyong staring into my avoiding eyes.

 

 

When I thought he was looking, I glanced at him. He caught my gaze and held eye contact. He slowly stopped brushing my teeth and drew the toothbrush out of my mouth. Jiyong his lips and slowly leaning in forward, shifting his gaze from my eyes to my lips. He closed his eyes and as he got closer I panicked.

 

 

The bubbles, created by the toothpaste, grew uncomfortable in my mouth and I turned away from Jiyong. He must have
felt me moved and halted, opening his eyes. Seeing that I wasn't going to return what he had offered, he pulled back. I
attempted to spit out the foam. It almost missed the sink, a few inches from the counter, slowly sliding down to the drain.

 

 

Jiyong

 

I could feel the tension between us as I brushed her teeth. At first, I was lost in thought. Looking into her eyes, I was
wondering what she was thinking. Why was she avoiding my stare? Why was she trying to avoid me? Suddenly, I realized I
was staring at her and that maybe it was making her uncomfortable. 

 

 

The moment I looked away, she looked at me. I snapped my gaze from her teeth to her eyes. The way she looked vulnerable got me feeling some sort of way. I  my lips, my throat getting dry. She looked beautiful in front of me and the thoughtof her trying to distance herself was concerning me at this point. I choose to close the space between us, slowly to give her time to reject it.

 

 

At the last second, she turned towards the sink and spit out the toothpaste foam out of . Turning back at me, Dara tried to explain, "Jiyong, I thi-"

 

 

"No, It's fine. I got your signal. Talk to me about it when you're ready," I said. I grabbed her right hand, unballing her fist to placed her toothbrush in her hand. "I'll call Chaerin for you." 

 

Dara

 

By the time Chaerin got to me, I was already washing the bristles of my toothbrush.

 

 

"Oh, did you already finish brushing your teeth?" Chaerin asked. I nodded. "Sorry I took so long. Dr. Dongwon was describing the pills to give you before you go to sleep."

 

 

"Okay, should I get a glass of water then?" I asked.

 

 

"I already got you one before coming here. It's in your room."

 

 

"Thank," I said. I was truly grateful. I didn't want to walk back into the kitchenand possibly risk running into Jiyong.

 

 

Chaerin and I walked into the room I was currently staying in. On the bedside table, as Chaerin said, was a tall glass of water. I got on the bed and Chaerin searched the drawers of the desk by the door. After a few minutes of scrummaging, Chaerin walked to me with three bottles of pills.

 

"I'm pretty sure he said these ones," Chaerin said. She held the bottles in front of me to look over.

 

 

"They seem about right," I confirmed. Chaerin opened the bottles and took out a pill each. With her help, I manage to down the medication. Almost instantly, I felt the drowsiness. Even though I was really tired, I wanted to talk to Chaerin. I wanted to get it off my chest for I couldn't hold it in any longer.

 

"Chaerin?"

 

"Yes?" She came back to my side after putting away the bottles back into the drawers she got it from.

 

 

"I want to talk about what happened."

 

 

"About?"

 

"Kyesang." I said, swallowing.

 

 

"Jiyong said you didn't want to talk about it," Chaerin told me.

 

"I didn't, not with him."

 

"And why is that?' She asked, playing around with the blanket that covered me.

 

 

"I don't want to tell him yet about how I want to leave YG."

 

 

Chaerin stopped tucking me in. "Dara-"

 

 

"Chaerin," I was quick to cut her off, trying to make her understand, "What happened to me in that basement was
the most terrifying, painful, and horrible thing I have ever been through. I've been trying to space out so I don't have to think about it. I was so scared. That all happened because of me being in the Mafia. I took this part thinking that I was in no way was going to get harmed. I was just going to be a doctor. I wasn't selling drugs or trading weaponry. In the end, Inwas the one who got caught." I paused, waiting for Chaerin to say something. She didn't and I continued. "I want out. I want to go back to my normal life."

 

 

"I'm sorry, Dara," Chaerin said.

 

 

"It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I shouldn't have joined the mafia. I knew I was cut out for it from the beginning. I don't want to make the mistake of staying in the mafia, Chaerin."

 

 

"You'll have to talk to Jiyong about it."

 

 

"I'm scared, honestly," I admitted. "I truly feel something for him. He is nice in his own way and treats me well during the small times we were together. Although, I never know what he's thinking and can never predict how he's going to react."

 

 

"I think he'll understand," Chaerin assured.

 

 

Jiyong

 

"I don't understand," I said. I got up from the seat I was sitting in, placed by Dara's bed, and walked away only to circle back.

 

 

"Exactly what do you mean when you say you want out?" 

 

 

"Jiyong, can you please sit down and listen to me?" Dara asked.

 

 

I sighed and sat down, leaning all the way back. Earlier this morning, I came into Dara's room to give her her breakfast.
Before even taking a bite into the pancakes that Dr. Dongwon made, Dara told me she wanted out.

 

 

"I mean that I don't want to be apart of the mafia anymore," she explained, staring at the plate in front of her. The pancakes that were once warm went cold.

 

 

"Look at me, Dara," I said. She slowly turned her face toward me and looked into my eyes. "Why? Why do you want to go right after I barely got you back?"

 

"Because of this mafia, I experienced fear as I've never had before. That goes along with suffering and desperation.
I was beaten by Kyesang and his men in the basement while being almost , Jiyong. They wanted information and
answers I didn't have. I've never been so badly hurt. The worse thing that came out of it was I murdered someone. Jiyong, I killed someone. My mentality can't take that and while I'm surrounded by people who are in the mafia, my conscious is eating itself as it's being reminded." Dara shook as she spoke, tears spilling down her face.

 

 

"Dara-," I reached out for her. Before I could wrap my arms around her, she stopped me.

 

 

"Don't touch me, Jiyong," Dara said, sternly.

 

 

I moved closer to her. I positioned myself where she wouldn't be able to look away from my eyes. Both of my hands were placed by each of her sides, supporting me from falling over due to my weight as I leaned over to meet Dara's eye-level in hersitting position.

 

 

"Dara, staying with YG right now would result in you being more protected than ever. We didn't catch Kyesang when we rescued you. He's out there, pissed. He's not done with us. He still wants his revenge."

 

 

I looked at her as she scanned my face. When she blinked, fresh tears escaped herbeyes. Shifting my weight to my right arm, I lifted my left to wipe her tears away.

 

 

Dara turned her face away from me, dodging my touch.

 

 

"I'm sorry, Jiyong," Dara said, " I don't know how that's my problem." 

 

 

 

 

 

--

 

 

 

What can you say about Dara's decision, eh?