This is awkward. Like, really awkward. I nervously stared at the wall as I felt Sehun throwing dagger-like glares at me. The boys thought it would be best that we should do it from youngest to oldest since Suho was going to be busy for the next few days. Even though he accepted this for the prize, he wasn't doing a great job at it.

"What do you want to do." I flinched when he suddenly spoke, his voice cold and icy. He's only eight, how could he sound like that? It's weirdly impressive and terrifying at the same time. I tilted my head to look at him, his eyes were trained on his wolf, the beaded ebony orbs stared back. For someone his age, he was always praised to be the smartest of his brothers. They say he could surpass Suho himself, but I highly doubt Sehun would be happy hearing that. Each brother has the chance to become the heir of the throne, if Sehun can surpass Suho, it would mean he would have the chance to become king. He's only eight, Sehun shouldn't stress about something important like this. The times I've ever talked to or seen Sehun, I don't think I've seen him act like an actual child.

"Let's play hide-and-seek." He turned to look at me, an odd look came over him. Does he know how to play that game? Aeji taught me it, she taught me many games to play. I miss her, she needs to answer my questions. "The rules are in the name, I'll count to fifty and you need to find a place to hide and it can only be in the south wing. The south wing already has plenty of places to hide. Once I finish counting, I'll come to find you. You win if I yell ’I give up’ and if I find you, I win." I explained.

"Where did you learn that game?" He asked, a genuine curiosity that shimmered at his face. The look made his brows relax, his eyes turned innocent. I think it would be best if Sehun could look like that all the time than the cautious, cold little boy that he tries to act like.

"It was a book of games I found in the library." My answer seemed to satisfy him enough that he got off of his bed. I blinked in surprise, I didn't think he would agree to this so easily. "Do you really want to play?" I spoke abruptly. He squeezed his stuffed animal, stopping his steps.

"I have to agree if I want to win." He murmured, but through those words, I got a glimpse of the child in him. The little boy that should grow with excitement and happiness. I smiled warmly, looking at him with fondness. Sehun could be scary when he wants to be, but right now, all I see is a child. One that has never experienced what it was like to play trivial games such as this. I forget sometimes that the boys I'm seeing now are just children, they aren't the men that grew to traumatize me. Either way, they had a good reason to do so. My smile faltered, how long do I have left before these fun, happy moments disappear? When will they start seeing me as the same person as the one in the other lifetime? When will they start to hate me? I'm selfish, to think that I could be ignorant of the future to come. I watched him walk out the door and close it. "Start counting!" His words were muffled from the other side of the door.

Do I have the right to do these things with them? Shouldn't I vanish so I wouldn't have to see the disdain in their eyes? It would hurt, their hatred will stab me like scorching flames. A sudden ache fluttered in my chest, it was as if I was trying to swallow down a boulder. I didn't realize it, but I've gotten used to their soft eyes, the kindness that they gave me. I don't want it to go away, and yet, someday...It will.

"One...Two...T-three." My voice cracked. My vision suddenly went blurry, I chuckled softly to myself. I'm crying...Because I'm desperate. I don't want these precious memories of mine to die, I don't want them to one day think of these as regretful moments where they showed some love to a little girl. I raised my head to look up at the ceiling, tears flowing from the corners of my eyes. I should accept it, I mean, ten years of pain and despair. Once it starts again, I can just shut out these emotions. I've gotten used to their hatred. I'm fine...I'm fine.

I'm fine.

~~*~~

I finally stopped crying, except for the redness that tinted my nose and under my eyes that weren't going anywhere. The bruise on my cheek that seemed to lighten still made me look worse than I should. The south wing is large, three floors, and it is full of rooms. They're mostly the chambers of the royal family, with a couple of spare rooms that some of the boys used as their own. The third floor is where the king and queens’ rooms are, each queen has an extra room for their clothes. I don't think Sehun would go into the king or queen Velstia's room so I would have to look into mother's room. Since I'm on the second floor where all the boy's rooms are, I should at least look around. Checking the first room next to the twins’, it seemed to be empty. I walked around the room, the bed was in the far corner on my right, placed by a window with a small flower pot on the ivory windowsill, across from it was a desk covered in books and paper. Besides the black rug and the wardrobe on the far left of the bed, this room was plain. Who could this room belong to?

"What are you doing here?" I whipped around to a voice behind me. I could only guess that this was Lay's room. What perfect but horrible timing.

"L-lay! I'm sorry for coming into your room, I'm playing hide-and-seek with Sehun and I was seeing if he could be in your room." I said quickly, a nervousness suddenly settling in me. I don't ever remember Lay being so frightening. Even in his silence, there was this weird aura in him that made me feel colder. He was always quiet when it came to me, he thought of me as a speck of dust. I didn't exist in his eyes, now, I saw the intrigue in him, a weird interest that I didn't know if I should be afraid of or not. He also locked me in a dungeon so that's already making me wary by the mere glance at him.

I froze when he suddenly shut the door, dread slapped me across the face when I watched him lock the door. I bit my lip fearfully, what was he going to do? Lay's only thirteen. He is the third oldest, his mother's pet.

"Mother says she doesn't like you." He whispered. I shook in horror, is he going to kill me? Would a mother make her own child shed blood for her own pleasure? No, I can't let him do that. I can't have Lay turn into someone as wicked at her. His brothers were able to change him, make him side with them. But that was only because all of them agreed to hate me. Now, there are those who dislike me and those who care for me. It is a predicament for the evil queen. If I'm gone, they could help him, but Lay will never forget the blood that stained his hands. "Mother says