I sighed softly, I shouldn't have acted like I was so afraid in front of Sehun yesterday. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me, but the past lingered. I still saw his hatred eyes, his fearful grip. We didn't talk for the rest of the day, even at dinner, he had his mouth completely shut. I don't know why he was so angry with Minseok, but something about it bothered me. Minseok had said that he wasn't Suho, I would think Sehun knows the difference between his brothers. I won't let you take her away as well? What did he mean by that? I closed my eyes in exhaustion, none of these questions had answers to them.

Today was Jongin's turn, it was still early in the morning. I don't think any of them would be awake right now. This was the only time I could copy down all the symbols and jumbled words from the book that Sooyoung had given me. Once I am done writing them down, how am I supposed to get someone to translate it for me? No one knows the language besides the citizens of Brexin, the people of Velstia's home country. Or as I call it now, the country of black magic. If they are all betting on Velstia's victory, it would only mean that I have no one to help me. There has to be someone who disagrees with this kind of plan. Killing the royal family of the second most powerful kingdom? It should be impossible, but Velstia had ten years to prepare herself for this.

If I didn't die in the other lifetime, I would've watched Velstia rule over Alsterin. The four territories that Alsterin took thirty-five years to fight and create; soon Ellstin will be our fifth, all gone in ten years and maybe a couple of months. I died at the time when Alsterin was crumbling, slowly eating itself inside out. Mostly due to Velstia using the underground to plot this kingdom's fate. Once the king had died, it became a dark time for the people. With his paranoia, the king started ruling foolishly. He killed those he thought would betray him and it only worsened when mother died. He believed that someone had killed her, so he had killed all the maids that worked here. The aristocratic houses were unchecked, and the boys couldn't do anything as their family started to fall apart.

Before he could reach Aeji, I had already hidden her. With everything I had, I made her run away to a different kingdom, if she could, a different continent. At first, I thought she did, I was happy for her. A couple of days later, she had come back with hair cut to the neck and wearing a black suit. She was dressed as a butler. I panicked when I saw her, then I laughed. Even with short hair, she looked nothing like a man. I was surprised that no one seemed to be suspicious, even though Aeji was indeed suspicious. I smiled softly at the memory, how she had to deepen her voice to the way she walked. She had to change everything about her.

After that, I got sick. Stress, fear, and abuse had built up in me to the extent that my body started to destroy itself. The king died a couple of months before I did. On my deathbed, I listened to Suho's coronation. He had become the king, but since the queen was still alive she took over the finance and the inner parts of the kingdom. She used Suho well, corrupted him with sweet words and most likely black magic. His mother and father died, the growing hatred for his fake sister was getting worse, his mentality was slowly dissolving and Velstia took her chance to consume him. I could only think that was her main goal. Then I died. I made a selfish wish and now I'm back in time. There definitely is a reason why I have come back here, I have to change something that I couldn't before. I just don't know what. Do I have to find out who this toymaker is? How can a dead man solve anything? I need to learn my past. From everything I've learned so far, my past does involve the boys somehow. The main reason as to how is an abyss. Talking about the toymaker has become a taboo, so at this rate, I only have mother to count on.

I turned my head when someone abruptly knocked at my door. I quickly shut the magic book, then rolled the paper I was writing on and tossed it into my drawer. The boys would never knock on my door and it's too early for the maids to dress me. I don't think mother would be awake either, who could this be?

With slight hesitance, I opened the door and raised my head. My fingers that were curled at the doorknob fell to my sides, the sight of her with her deep, bloody crimson gown and silver eyes was dreadful. As my gaze froze at her features, a wave of nausea hit me. She smiled at me with her burgundy lips.

"Morning to Queen Velstia." I in a breath as I curtsied. Why is she here? Does