You've broken down the whole evening in your room after Baekhyun took you home. And the result of that were the eye bags on your eyes and that really didn't help with your feelings.

You opened your phone and you had a message from Baekhyun which was sent yesterday. But you chose not to read it because you wanted to cool off from everybody first. You didn't want them to see you like this.

Wanting to start your day, you took a bath. And for the whole time you were in the bathroom, you were quiet and your mind was full. You honestly didn't know what you're thinking, you just felt empty.

Then you washed your face and you were brushing your teeth when you took a good look on your face. You've seen how devastated you were.

You saw how sad you were.

You saw how broken you were.

And those were enough reasons for you to cry so much again as your hope and happiness went crushing down in one go. You're so pathetic.

From that day onward, you refused to look yourself on the mirror and you wore glasses even though you're just in your house all day. Your mother asked you what the problem was but you just shook your head, not wanting to tell her and break down again, "I'm sorry Mom but if I tell you, I might cry again. I'm tired of crying already." You sheepishly laughed at your mom.

And she smiled the sweetest. She held your hand and told you, "Okay honey, if you think that nobody else is beside you, just come home. And you better tell me sooner when you've recovered." You thanked your mom for being so understanding.

Then Jongin arrived in the kitchen, already prepared to go out while he looked at you. He knew what you're feeling and what happened and just patted your head, "I'll go now. I'll just tell them that you are sick, alright?"

You thanked your brother because you somehow felt calm. You told your mother what happened and how you fell in love with Kyungsoo and how you got your heartbreak. You cried again but your mother was there, comforting you as she hugged you.

Your heart was cold but your mother was warm and it was enough for you to fall deep into sleep on her arms, just like a child. Your mother was still playing with your hair and humming to you, saying it's alright to cry.

-

You were woken up by the sight of Jisoo. And your mood immediately went down again. You didn't hate Jisoo, but seeing her just made you feel insecure and hurt. "Why are you there?"

You could hear Jisoo's cold voice and you knew that she was mad at you because you're not replying to any of the members' messages. "You're not attending practices for a week, Jieun."

"I'm not joining anymore." You just told Jisoo and you draped your blanket all over you once again. But she pulled it and told you that you couldn't do that and that everyone's looking for you. "I don't care. I don't want to do it anymore."

You were getting irritated by Jisoo's scolding and your patience broke, "You don't know anything Jisoo!"

And there she went silent for she saw you crying already. You shouted, "You don't know how it pains me whenever I look at your face!" you looked at her and everything came back, "E-everytime I see you, I-I always see how Kyungsoo loves you and not me!"

"Is that my problem now, Jieun?" Jisoo sternly told you and you were shocked at her remark. "And what? You're turning back like that? You're giving up like that?"

"Yes! I'm giving up on Kyungsoo, so just go to him!" you pushed Jisoo away. But she just held your hand firmly and made you look at her.

"Do you know why I'm here?" she told you and you could see the look in her eyes, she was about to cry and was shaking, "I-I'm here because of you and I'm here for you Jieun!"

"I'm not accepting Kyungsoo's confession." She told you.

"What? Don't do that!" you told Jisoo and convinced her, "Kyungsoo will be hurt if you do that!"

"But I don't want to see you hurting like this." And she started crying. "I-I can't sleep last night because I-I blame myself. Everything changed because of me. I forced myself into the scene that's why he didn't see you." She started to break down as she explained.

And there you realized that you were not the only one who was hurting at the situation. Jisoo was also hurting, and probably, Baekhyun. "Accept Kyungsoo's confession, Jisoo." You firmly told her but she just shook her head and sat on the bed.

"I don't deserve Kyungsoo and you know that, Jieun. Y-You don't deserve to be hurt like this. Not because of me, Jieun. I'm really sorry." She said then you held her hand.

"You like Kyungsoo too. I know that Jisoo so you better accept his confession."

"I can take it Jieun. I can pretend that I don't like him. And I'm fine with that if it means that you'll come back to us." Jisoo looked like she was pleading to you.

Then you shook you head and assured her, "I-I'm just resting, Jisoo. Actually, I'm not leaving you. I'm just stressed that's why I had to cut all of you and try to move on myself." You smiled at her, "So I can come back to you guys with a smile."

You then lifted her chin, she was still shaking and you're thankful because even though she's afraid of confrontations and was shaking like this, she still chose to talk to you and clear everything. "Kyungsoo is a wonderful person, that's why we like him, right? And I know Jisoo that you like him, too."

Jisoo was still shaking her head, "No, I don't want to hurt you."

Then you pouted at her, "So what? Let me be hurt." You held her hands and continued, "Kyungsoo won't love me even if you reject him." And tears dropped from your eyes, but you just let it flow, "If you reject him, he'll be sad, you'll be sad, and I'm still sad. Then if you accept him, you two will be happy, and I will. That's better, right?"

She was about to oppose once again but you shushed her, "Hey, remember the song we performed?"

Then she looked at you with full curiosity, "Goodbye Summer?"

And you smiled at her, "Don't be like that. Don't regret not confessing to a wonderful person like Kyungsoo." Then she jumped on you and bawled her eyes out, crying so loud. But you just cried with her, accepting that your love story with Kyungsoo had ended. Well, it didn't even start.

The day after, you went back to the practice room, although you're still wearing eyeglasses for Jisoo made you cry again. Naeun hugged you instantly she saw you and the others went to you, too.

You pouted at them as you tried to hold your tears back, "Yah, I didn't die, alright?" The members were swarming around you and telling you what happened but you knew that they knew the story.

You just shrugged them off and started to practice everything that you had missed. Baekhyun and Naeun were beside you all the time until Kyungsoo excused you and dragged you outside the practice room.

You looked at your hands, and you wished that he wouldn't let go of it, but he did. "I-I will be confessing properly to Jisoo!"

And your heart was once again broken, although you were numb now, "I thought you already did!" you exclaimed at him.

But he pouted at you, "What? No! I haven't because you were not present. I want you to be the first one to know who I will be confessing to." Kyungsoo told you and you softened, "After all, you're my first and best best friend." He smiled at you with the thing you loved the most, his heart-shaped smile.

Then you poked his sides and , "Ew, you're so gross, confessing. I never really imagine that, ew!" and you laughed at him while he hissed at you.

Then he asked you, "What about Baekhyun?" then you glared at him and told him not to say senseless things. Then he put his hand on your head and told you firmly, "Yah! You better tell me the guy you like before you confess! I need to see to it if he's a perfect guy for you!" you clenched your teeth because you were thinking that he wouldn't be able to hear it.

But then an idea came in your mind, you held out your pinky finger to make a promise, "Then promise me to listen to the song I will be composing for the winter festival!" and he gladly held out his pinky finger too and said yes, "You better make it obvious!"

Then you suddenly hugged him, For the last time. Kyungsoo was shocked at first but he understood and he hugged you back. Then you pulled and smiled at him genuinely as you saw Jisoo arriving as you pushed Kyungsoo towards her.

Jisoo was surprised as well at what you did but you just winked at her and went inside the practice room, running towards Naeun and hugging her from behind.

Baekhyun was looking at you, and he didn't want to see you crying again so he said, interrupting your thoughts, "Ah, is that a train-train? Then I'll join too!" and he childishly held your shoulders and pretended to play train like a child. You just laughed at what he did because all the other members did too. You all played that, and Kyungsoo and Jisoo arrived while holding each others' hands and played with the rest, too.

A month had passed and you were slowly used to Kyungsoo and Jisoo always together. Sometimes you just let them be together always and be subtly sweet and all, but often you turned away from them and avoided them. But either way, it still hurt you.

You just made yourself busy with the song you're composing since it would be the last concert you'd do for the year. You wanted it to be more special since Kyungsoo would be listening to you. 

And with that song, you were able to move on slowly. You accepted that you were already defeated by default because you never did play the game. And that, you regretted. You realized that you could never control your world, but that what makes life amazing. Pain is constant, but so is Love.

You had finished the lyrics of the song and you were excited because you were happy since you knew that Kyungsoo would be able to see you for who you were. You ran towards the studio but stopped on track when you heard Kyungsoo and Baekhyun talking.

"Really?!" Kyungsoo exclaimed, "You're dedicating the song to her?"

Then Baekhyun laughed, "I always did haha. But, I'm planning to confess." And Kyungsoo could see the little pink on Baekhyun's cheeks. "In the winter festival."

Then Kyungsoo was excited and you could hear it in his voice, "Oh my gosh! Really? Can I help you with it?" Kyungsoo offered to help in the lyrics of Baekhyun's song.

Baekhyun beamed at Kyungsoo, "Of course! Thank you!" 

Then Kyungsoo smiled at Baekhyun and he said, "Baekhyun, please take care of Jieun."

And you froze on your spot, wanting to hear what Kyungsoo had to say, "I-I know you like her and Jieun's my best friend. But you know, Jieun is strong but she is weak, too." Kyungsoo laughed at the opposite sides of you, "And I'm happy because you saw that. That's why I like you for her."

And once again, your heart was continuously breaking, being killed for about how many times, you just laughed at the pain. Then Baekhyun asked, "You're together with Jisoo, you know, I always wonder why because Jisoo is still mean." Baekhyun remarked and Kyungsoo laughed with him.

"You know that our song What is Love is dedicated for Jisoo, right? I don't know, even with the little time we had together, there are lots and lots of feelings that she made me feel. And that's new to me."

You could see that Kyungsoo was smiling while explaining to Baekhyun. "Jieun, she's so strong and so reliable, that's why I sometimes ask myself – Is she really a girl? And am I a boy?" and there you understood where Kyungsoo was coming from, "Because Baekhyun, you see, I know that I'm dependent to Jieun even if she's the girl, she's the one helping me and guiding me. There's even a time when I felt so little when around her."

Hearing that made you sad, you didn't want Kyungsoo to feel that way. Kyungsoo continued, "But after that, I saw that Jieun is a girl. That is why I hated myself when I didn't believe her, she who was always there for me, I just neglected her, for Jisoo. And that's when I realize who Jisoo is in my life."

You kept on listening, "Yes, Jisoo is mean, and I experience that always, too. But that doesn't mean that she's a bad person." You and Baekhyun agreed to that. Kyungsoo continued, "With Jisoo, you know, I realized who I am, of what I'm capable of. I realized that I can be reliable too, and that someone can be dependent on me, too. And that is Jisoo. And that feels great to be honest, now I understand why Jieun got mad at Jisoo. She felt weak because I'm no longer depending on her, and Naeun's not around too. But I want Jieun to see what I've become, that I can stand on my own feet now. And that she can rely on me too."

"And that is also the time when Jieun saw herself, too, that she shall rely on others this time. And that is you Baekhyun, Luhan, Jongdae, Chanyeol, that's why they are really happy because they feel that Jieun needs them and not only the other way around." Kyungsoo ended his explanation and he patted Baekhyun on the shoulder to cheer him up.

Baekhyun smiled and thanked Kyungsoo for that. Then Baekhyun asked, "B-but you do know that Jieun likes you, right? In that way."

And you were shocked. You were about to run away so you wouldn't hear what Kyungsoo's answer was until Kyungsoo said, "Yes, I know." And you broke down, you shook as you couldn't move on your spot because, Kyungsoo knew everything all along, "I saw that before the first concert."

You and Baekhyun were shocked, so Kyungsoo continued, "The reason why I'm always with Jisoo is that I wanted Jieun's feelings to fade away." And tears dropped from your eyes because you felt mad because he knew that you were hurting, yet he continued to hurt you, "Because I know myself Baekhyun. I know that I love her, and I don't want to lose her. I want to be honest with her even though if it means to hurt her. Because I trust her."

"I trust Jieun because she's my best friend. I have to hurt Jieun so she'll realize how wonderful she is even after being hurt. I know that she'll realize that she could be loved by someone else much more deserving than I am. I don't deserve Jieun, I know that."

"Please don't be mad at me Baekhyun, but I have to do that so that I won't lose her. See, Baekhyun, I'm still depending on her after all this time." Kyungsoo laughed at himself, "I want her to know her true feelings and learn how to accept that this is life."

"We all wouldn't see what's coming, but if we just embrace it, we'll move on and then realize that what's happening is a blessing in disguise. But Jieun is my greatest blessing I had, and I can't afford to lose that."

You didn't know but you agreed to what Kyungsoo was saying. How much did it hurt you, you were also happy because you knew that, "No one can replace Jieun in my life. So you better not make her cry!" Kyungsoo said as he walked out the door, just to see your tear-strained face.

Baekhyun was shocked as well because he didn't know you were there. You looked at Kyungsoo and you laughed at his big black eyes. You hit him and jumped onto his back. Then Kyungsoo carried you on his back and ran on the hallways like the children you were.

Naeun saw you two and was confused at what happened but then she smiled because everything was just like before. And she liked that.

Then you suddenly stopped when you saw Luhan running towards you, blushing red all over. He hugged you and was not saying anything, when you saw Sehun running after him, panting. "Hey Luhan, what happened?" You asked but Luhan refused to talk.

So you gestured to Sehun that you'd talk to Luhan first. You lead Luhan with Naeun to the rooftop so he could get away from the crowd first and so that he could tell you what happened.

Luhan started to confess, "S-Sehun said he likes me."

And the two of you were shocked, "What? No!!" Luhan could see the excitement of both of your eyes and he squealed this time. You could see that he was really happy, "So that's the reason why you're blushing all over your body. Yah! Tell us what happened!" you instructed him and he willingly spilled everything to you and Naeun.

"We-well do you remember that we were fighting in the other room on the summer festival?" You and Naeun nodded and Luhan continued, "That's because he told me that he doesn't want to dance anymore because he couldn't master the steps so I told him don't dance if he doesn't want. But he did, right?"

"Then after the festival, I cut all ties from him because I thought that I am pressuring him too much, you know me, I'm not really patient. But the whole month he was messaging me and I was always blocking his numbers and I'm treating him like wind." You rolled your eyes and exclaimed that Luhan was so pretentious. He just laughed at your remark.

"Then just now, he confessed to me. I'm just so shocked so I ran to you." And it was time for Luhan to blush once again. You three were smiling as Luhan demonstrated how Sehun confessed to him and how he kissed him. You hit Luhan on his shoulder for being so unfair.

"Actually..." then Naeun raised her hand too, confessing, "me and Jongin are going out." You and Luhan acted like you were shocked then Luhan said, "For the whole month I am with you, it's not really obvious." And you could hear the sarcasm on his voice and Naeun just whined.

Then you told Naeun, "Yah! My brother's room is next to me and I could hear your voice whenever you two were video calling each other!" then you pouted, "How come you never told me for the whole month!"

Then Naeun apologized to you but she was smiling, "B-because of what happened to you. Like, I don't want to be happy because you're sad and you're moving on."

Then you looked at Naeun who was pouting, then you ruffled her hair, "Okay, I understand, but please just tell me right away, even if I'm crying!" then she just hugged you and smiled sheepishly at you.

Then Luhan turned to you, "Then how about you and Kyungsoo? I saw you two and interrupted, I know I'm sorry. But what happened?" You then smiled at them and told them everything and cried with you. After all, it still hurts.

- - - 

A/N: Sorry for not updating earlier!!! I'm a little stressed with my thesis. >.<

- dandanieeri