Letting Go
Behind The Limelight
Dong Hae’s POV
I sprinted all the way to the emergency room to find Yoon Sung and Hyuk Jae. Eun Bi said that they hit a dump truck while driving fast along the highway, and received several sever injuries all over the body. I wasn’t allowed to go inside the ER, so the doctors let me stay outside. I sat on a bench nearby, waiting for further updates.
“Hae...” Eun Bi called me in a tired tone. With the millions of things going on in my mind, I didn’t notice her sitting beside me.
“I don’t know what to do...” I said, looking on the ground with tears in my eyes. Things in my life became more sinister as the days passed by, and right now, I was bound to lose to of the people I love.
“Just pray that everything will be okay.” she encouraged me. I reached out and held her hand. This was my way of thanking her for everything she had done. She’s one of my truest friends that I could lean on.
Afterwards, the doctor came and told us the results. Hyuk Jae was at the ICU. He had a concussion, broken bones and severe blood loss. He’s still under observation for the next few weeks. The bad news was Yoon Sung died. At the site of the accident, he lost a lot of blood just like Hyuk Jae. Three cranial injuries damaged his head, and his heart failed to function. He was brought here but declared dead on arrival. The doctor led us to the room where his body was cleaned and laid down, draped in white blanket from head to foot.
He left us after a couple of seconds. My hands began to shake in fear. I don’t want to see him in that way. It’s painful to see him go, though in the last moments of his life he was too cruel.
“You have to face it, Hae.” Eun Bi said.
I sighed and slowly dragged the blanket down. He looked so strained with all those gashes and wounds. He’s cold and stiff, and the feeling of him lingered on the atmosphere. Tears broke out from my eyes again as I absorbed this situation. I held his hand and kissed his forehead with all my love. He’s my brother anyway, and he deserved my most heartfelt goodbye.
“I love you.” I whispered, though he wouldn’t hear me. Eun Bi and I wiped our tears and left the room.
I carefully closed the door and walked to Hyuk Jae’s bed. I sat on the nearest chair and held his hand. I was stupid for not believing him when he always told me the truth. My own ego shot up to its highest peak, and I hurt not just him but the people who meant a lot to me. And then again, tears rolled out of my eyes just like they usually do. It tired my eyeballs already, but this was the only way for me to feel better. Seeing him decorated with the life-support system breaks my heart. This was all because of me- because of my selfishness, the need to move on, and the need for love. If he dies, I would forever carry the pain.
“When you wake up, I’ll be the first one you see. I’m sorry for everything, Hyuk. You know I love you so much.” I said then sprang from my seat to leave him, with the promise of him being back into life.
Along the hallway, I encountered Si Won. We both stopped on our tracks and stared at each other for a while. I need to explain everything to him. The last time we talked was a major disaster when he walked out the door without letting me say anything.
If he didn’t call me out, we would be standing still like crazy.
“Hae.”
“Si Won.” My voice sounded almost like a whisper. I started to move and found a couple of seats nearby. We settled there comfortably, trying so desperately to fight the awkwardness steaming up between us.
“I’m going back to Jinan tomorrow. I just dropped by here to see you and Hyuk.” he said after what seemed a long stretch of silence.
I was dead shocked at his news. I looked at him with confusion.
“Can you just at least stay for a few days?” I asked.
He shook his head and answered me without looking at my eyes.
“I don’t have to. I still have my work left there, and maybe this is the right time to let you go.”
This is the right time to let you go. The words chorused in my head.
“I’ve done my part. You should be with me right no, but I chose to let you go.”
“I don’t understand you...” I trailed off.
“Do you know why I’m saying this? Hyuk and I made a bet. We had a soccer match days ago, and that bet was, whoever wins, will have you.”
I felt betrayed at the moment. Why did they keep this from me?
“And I won. But I see the way you look at him, with all these events in the past few days that drive you crazy. I could see the way you hold his hand and cry for him, which, if the scenario was reversed, would never happen to me.” he painfully said.
I swallowed. “I’m sorry.”
“No. I should be the one who’s sorry. Because I’m hurting you now. I’m making things hard for you. So I’m sorry, Hae. And I’m setting you free.”
He stood up and I caught his arm. I knew words weren’t enough to tell him how I really feel. I hugged him from behind and buried my face on his back. Tightly, for this will be the last time I’ll see him. Tightly, before letting him go, I want to feel and treasure him.
When I broke free, I said the random, freeing, and most stupid answer I had in mind.
“Take care.”
Every scene was blurry. Pictures flashed fast forward that I could barely see what’s happening. I couldn’t make out the real story. Si Won jumping off a cliff. Hyuk Jae being disconnected to the millions of tubes wrapped on his body, eventually breathing his last. Yoon Sung trying to suffocate me, and then it turned out that he slit my throat. Eun Bi smiled wickedly at me. Min Yeong was hastily burning into ashes. Min Ah stared through my eyes blankly then fading into blackness. They screamed at me and tried to lure me in a dark, spinning wormhole. I shouted with my eyes closed. I tried to clear them out, my voice painstakingly turning those images into dust. I finally flung my eyes open and was lingered with sweat. I craved for air then collapsed back to my bed.
The next thing I knew, I was in a hospital room, with sedatives injected through my bloodstream.
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