Uneasy. That was what I felt for the moment. After we kissed, the assurance of Hyuk Jae’s words faded into a far distance. Everything that happened a while ago seemed like a dream, and I loved it more than any other dreams combined. I couldn’t forget the memory of his lips crashing down against mine. He brought me into another world, where our relationship was never wrong. I didn’t see any flaws with it, and it’s the people’s perception already if my relationship with him was right or not.

But still...

I breathed in and out then cleared up my mind. There was no way for memories to settle down in my subconscious part of my brain. They were too useless, and I didn’t want them to remind me how my family got broken. I got out of the car and headed to where the staff was.

The drama was aired two weeks after we shot the scene on the road. It got the highest ratings on broadcast throughout Korea. All of us were happy about it. I got a call from Eun Bi, and she said we would have a victory party tonight at some bar in downtown Seoul. I told her I was coming, and rushed to my room to tell Hyuk Jae about it.

“We’re going together, okay? You better prepare now.” he said with a smile.

“Yeah. But I just want to say something.”

“What?”

I put my two hands on his cheeks and locked my eyes on him.

“Thank you for everything. I know it’s too early for this, but I-“

“It sounds like you’re leaving me.” His voice sounded sad. I hugged him and smiled, hopefully assuring him that what he said wasn’t true.

“No, I’m not leaving you. I just want to thank you. You’re the sweetest blessing I ever had.”

He chuckled. “You really sound so weird.” he remarked.

I pulled myself out of him. I really hoped that he had peace of mind now, after I took him in my arms and thanked him. At this point of hiding our relationship, I felt like there was no turning back. I’ve been spending my whole life waiting for him to love me back, and now that it had come, I won’t let go.

The loud booming of pop and disco music bounced on the walls of the bar. Spinning lights went on and on along with the beat. People were dancing to their heart’s content. As Hyuk Jae and I found our way to where our friends were, I tightly held his wrist to guide him. Every one of them knew he hated discos and drinking liquors harder than beer. It had been his habit ever since, but occasionally; he had to drink soju and wine.

“Dong Hae!” Yoon Sung called us. He waved his hand for us to see him clearly. I narrowed my eyes to find them, when Hyuk Jae pointed at some direction. I followed his lead and waved to my brother. Hyuk Jae got the chance of holding my hand while he guided me to our destination. I felt butterflies flying around inside my stomach. I fought hard to keep that silly smile from forming on my lips. I had to keep it secret. We need to keep ourselves STRAIGHT.

I slid my hand away from his grasp while I talked to my brother. I could feel his eyes bore on me. He felt rejected of course, but he had to understand that it would affect both of us.

“Did you just arrive?” Yoon Sung asked, holding a glass of tequila on his left hand. He invited his friends with him, and they were having their own small talk.

“Yeah, I was with him.” I pointed at Hyuk Jae.

“Oh, really? So congratulations on our new TV series. It’s getting a lot of following.” he praised.

I gave him a smile. “Thanks, but we owe it all to the director.” I said and looked at him. My brother’s attention shifted to him. He punched his upper arm lightly and beamed.

“I guess I love your work as a director. You’ve worked hard.”

Hyuk Jae smiled at him and said shyly. “Thanks.”

“Do you mind if I get you a drink?”

“We just want cola.” I said, because I knew he couldn’t handle any alcohol.

“Okay.” he called the waiter and his friends soon began talking to us.

“So Hae, are you planning to marry Eun Bi? You two look good together.” Yoon Sung’s friend asked me.

I tried to give them my clearest answer despite the loud sounds inside the bar. “I’m not marrying her. She has a boyfriend already. And besides, she’s my best bud in showbiz.”

He nodded and my brother returned to our conversation.

“Your cola will be delivered later. What are you two talking about?”

His friend answered. “About him marrying Eun Bi.”

Yoon Sung laughed out loud. “He can’t marry her. They may be Korea’s most beloved love team but they’re just friends.” Hyuk Jae interrupted.

“Oh really? So what’s your type of girl, Hyuk? I heard you’ve been dating for so long.” he asked.

I looked at him, worrying that he was caught off- guard, but I was glad when he came up with a quick answer.

“I like girls who are beautiful yet down to earth. They don’t need to flaunt themselves because their simplicity is the only thing that matters.”

“That’s good.”

I kept my eyes on him, and his answer left a strong impact on me. It was a straightforward answer. He perfectly considered the fact that we were the ones dating.

“And you, Hae?” Yoon Sung’s friend asked.

I paused for a while to think of an answer. I saw this moment coming, and I was confident that only Hyuk Jae will be asked. All of them were looking at me, obviously waiting for my reply. I was about to speak when my boyfriend put his hand on my shoulder.

“We both have the same standard for the girl we love. You don’t have to ask him about that.” he answered, saving me from total embarrassment.

“Yeah, he’s right.” I added, and then excused myself for a while. I walked away from the group with a heavy heart. There was this disturbing feeling that kept on bothering me. I felt affected when Yoon Sung asked me about my type of girl. It seemed to eat me up, and I couldn’t tell them that Hyuk Jae was my boyfriend.

I went to the rooftop to breathe some fresh air. Memories of my father came into my mind. I could see him bringing me my favorite food every day after his work, taking me to a ride every weekend, and baking pastries for my mom. But now it was all gone. He was gone for a stupid reason.

Soon, tears started falling down along my cheeks. I was deeply upset by those memories. It scarred the deepest part of my heart, and the pain that it brought continued to haunt me.

I could feel someone hugging me from the back.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

I knew it was him, so I turned around and hugged him. He heard me sniff, so he put his hand on the back of my head to comfort me.

“Have I ever told you about this?” I said and pulled away to face him. He wiped my tears with his thumb.

“No. What happened?”

I looked straight into his eyes. He did the same way, and he asked me the question again. “What happened?”

“I can’t answer Yoon Sung a while ago, because I remember our father. He was once a good man to us, and when he disappeared, we were searching for an explanation. Then we found out, he was in love with a man, and he ran away with him.”

He was shocked with what I said. I cried my heart out in front of hm. “That’s why I didn’t answer him. I was so affected with my dad, and I’m afraid he’ll find out about us.”

He swallowed and answered me in a firm voice.

“No one should find out about our relationship, Hae. No one should. They don’t know hard it is for us to fight our feelings. We’ve come this far, and there’s no turning back.”

“I know... I know...” I uttered. I avoided his eyes and wiped my tears. He lifted my chin up and looked at me.

“Trust me, everything will be fine.” he said and kissed my lips softly. I surrendered myself into this kind of pleasure, because I knew it offered me comfort.

He gently moved his lips against mine, easing the pain I felt. It all seemed perfect when I’m with him. I felt so protected and cherished. I held him closer to me and kissed him more, when we heard the sound of a glass falling on the floor.

Suddenly we stopped, and fixed our gaze to where the strange sound came from. And there was Eun Bi, looking at us with shock written on her face.