I flung myself to bed and bore my eyes on the ceiling. Si Won’s sister was tactless and rude, but the truth in her words made my eyes sting with tears. Hyuk Jae’s my boyfriend, and so what? He already broke up with me and there’s no reason to call or treat him as such. Though I knew in myself that I still love him, I had to clear out every memory we spent together. Moving on was what my mind always shouted since I left Seoul.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and sat up, deciding that this shouldn’t affect me anymore. I reached for the drawer, pulled out a handkerchief then laid it on my lap. It was old, almost undisturbed with the passage of time. Written on the upper-right hand corner was “Don’t cry. I’m here to wipe your tears”. Somehow the thought of it made me smile. It’s as if someone’s always there to comfort me when I’m down. And in that time, I was really down. I saw Hyuk Jae with a girl and he kissed her lips in front of the public. I was on the rooftop that time, secretly watching them while my heart’s being torn into pieces. I love him more than anything else.

Si Won came and comforted me as I sat on the floor with red, watery eyes. He took me into his arms and asked me twice about what happened. I just uttered ‘Hyuk’ and he looked into the scene. If the couple was still kissing, I don’t know. I cried myself to sleep, and in my dreams, I felt Si Won’s lips brush against mine. When I opened my eyes after a long time, a colorful handkerchief with yellow light blue and pink checkered patterns was tucked in my hand. I didn’t know why I didn’t notice it at first, along with the written scripture on it, but I was sure of one thing- Si Won wrote it and gave it to me. And the kiss... oh, maybe I was just drowned by heartache to think of it. I never spoke about it the next day, and I was lucky enough when he asked me if I was alright. I nodded and thanked him.

It still made me smile. I really don’t know why, but I fell so happy now that I met him again. If I lost six years when Hyuk Jae studied abroad, I lost ten years with Si Won. The longer, the more painful it was for me and for him. I held on to it tightly and dismissed onto thinking deeply.

Three knocks on the front door were enough to send me downstairs. I lazily opened it and found Si Won standing in front of me.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“About?” I threw the question back.

He took a deep breath and answered. “I’m sorry about the way my sister acted. She’s just into showbiz and she’s a fan of you.”

The sting of her words still remained in me. I tried to compose my response as diplomatically as I could so as not to offend him.

“Yeah, I know it’s true. I’m the talk of the country, and I’m used to it.” Even coming here was one big sacrifice. I had to walk out of the scene to start something new, but the issue keeps on chasing after me like a hungry wolf.

“Hae...” His voice turned into a pleading tone.

“It’s alright. You better go home now.” I said and shut the door. I went back to my room, lulling in the same sad emotion for the countless number of times, then I drifted off to a heavy sleep.

“I want to make it up to you.” Si Won said the next morning when he called me up.

“You don’t have to waste time. You still have school to attend.” I declined. I didn’t want to see him today. Yesterday was already too much, and I don’t want to add burden to it.

“But it’s a weekend.” I looked at the calendar hanging on my wall. It’s a Saturday. No classes. I changed my mind right away. The weather’s good today and I’ve been dying to get out for a walk.

“Where?”

“At the park. I’ll wait for you.” he said. I was about to say something when he hung up. I put my phone on my bed, took a quick shower, ate my breakfast then left the house.

A pleasant view welcomed my eyes when I arrived at the park. Pink flowers dominated and gave the place an array of different shades. Cherry blossoms were in bloom for the spring. As I walked through the cemented road, I felt the air of my high school days come into surface. I used to spend every spare time at a park in Seoul. That was where I could unwind all the bad feeling inside of me. I used to stay for hours, until a call from my mom would move my feet to go home.

The wind blew the flower from a tree, and it fell gently in front of my feet. I picked it up and examined it closely. As much as Si Won loves this, it also meant to me as well. I walked to find him around the place. My phone vibrated inside my pocket. I took the call from Si Won, and he told me where he was. I spotted him five trees away from where I stood, sitting on a bench, with two large cups of coffee beside him. I strode to him and sat on the space beside him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” he said and turned off his phone. He looked so dashing in his simple blue polo shirt and khaki jeans. He turned to me and smiled, which, for the first time, swept me off my feet. I had to admit he’s really handsome.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” The next words hung on my lips, I didn’t know how to keep this conversation going, and I’m starting to feel awkward.

“It’s okay. I just arrived at the same time as you were. Want some coffee?” I nodded, and he gave the other cup to me. The heat instantly warmed my hands. I took a little sip. Though mocha wasn’t my type of flavor in coffee, it somehow quenched my tongue with its bittersweet taste.

We sat in silence as we watched the people around this place. This moment was enough for him to make it up for his sister’s behavior. I could think of only now, and what’s taking place between the two of us. At the back of my mind, I thanked him for bringing me here. He had been so good to me. I don’t know how I could give it back.

“Hae, what if I tell you I’m in love with you? Would you believe me?” Si Won asked me.

I looked at him while his position never changed. His eyes were darted somewhere I’m sure I’m not part of.

“Uhm...” I started, but my thoughts clogged inside my head. I don’t know how such thing crossed his mind. How could he say this? The last time I checked we’re just friends.

“It’s okay. I’m just kidding. You don’t have to answer.” he said then he grinned.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re crazy.”

That was close. But if he really meant it, I would just stare at him as an answer. I still love Hyuk Jae. That was one undeniable fact. He then took me for a walk down the park while we drank our coffee. He entertained me with different stories about his students- how those people who didn’t care about the world became diligent, how he subdued fights of boys and insecurity issues among young girls, how he saved a suicidal boy after he failed his Algebra exam, and how he boosted up a girl’s confidence in singing. He also admired a student who summarized the plot of the TV drama ‘You’re Beautiful’ and led the production under his supervision.

“I never really expected that from him. He was known to be a weakling and sometimes bullied. But he was more than that.”

“I wish I was there to see it.”

“”You’d love it. How he made twists on the story of Mi Nam and Tae Kyung, all the stage production and his unruly classmates. We presented it during the opening ceremonies of the school anniversary. The ticket was sold-out and the funds went to the school administrator for the improvement of the campus.”

“That’s a lot.” I laughed and let him continue the talking.

When I went home, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I enjoyed a day with him and his wonderful stories. Now it seems like the gaps of our forgotten friendship were slowly filled. I missed him, the air of him as a friend. I realized how happy I was, that there is more to life than just curling up in my bed and crying to death. Somehow the choice of staying here didn’t add up to my long list of regrets and mistakes, though seeing Si Won again was just a spontaneous event.

But other than that, I think I’m starting to like him... there’s nothing wrong with that, right?

Now facing the empty page of the Word on the monitor, I’m about to spill what’s on my heart. All the pains and joys would be flawlessly written out.

My fingers ran smoothly on the letters, and, as naturally as it seems, I typed the words ‘Behind The Limelight’.