Jinan, South Korea

As soon as I parked my car outside the gate, I hurriedly went inside and punched the key in its hole. I twisted it and opened the door. I turned the lights on and got satisfied that it was still at its shape. This, my rest house, is where I’m going to live from now. I always treated this as my second home, a haven that eases out all the stress brought by my life in Seoul. This is where I could unwind and loosen up. But now, this would be my permanent home. I had to protect myself from harm. I hope this place would give me the peace I need.

The house needed a little cleaning. For now, I brought my things to my things to my room and decided to clean first.

Eun Bi called me in such a short notice. I picked the other end of the line and talked to her.

“Hae? Have you arrived there?” she asked worriedly.

“Y-Yeah. Just a while ago. I’m fine.”

“Good. Do you need some help?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I can manage.”

“Okay. Take care. Bye.”

I slightly smiled, though I knew she wouldn’t see it.

“Bye.” I pressed he end button and sighed. Of all my friends, she’s the one I told about this. I instructed her not to tell anything to the press until the issue dies naturally. I wanted solitude and everything that’s synonymous with it. I wanted to get out of my other self as the famous actor just for a short time. Life is too short. I have to make the first step to leave the past, to eventually make new memories.

After I cleaned my room, I put on a shirt and boxer shorts. I picked up the letter Hyuk Jae sent me before I came here. I flipped the folded paper open and started to read.

Hae,

Before I start this letter, I’m sorry for breaking your heart. I know this is hard for both of us. We promised each other that we won’t let go, but things happen and times change. I’m breaking up with you. We’re better off if we don’t hold on to the little hope that we can patch things up, that you can take back what you’ve already lost, and we can be happy again like we were before. It’s not the same and we have to accept it. Even though it kills me inside, I have to give you up. But nevertheless, I loved you with all my heart and I always will. Our memories will never be forgotten. I have a special place for you in my life and only you can fill it. Now we just have to tell ourselves it’s over. Goodbye and take care. Live a happy life ahead of you.

Lovingly,

Hyuk

I folded back the letter. My heart stirred painfully inside my chest. I couldn’t handle the agony it caused me. I asked myself where did I go wrong, where did his comforting words go, and why did he give up. The sounds of mocking laughter boomed inside my head. They were driving my tears to fall again, but judging the redness of my eyes, I couldn’t produce a single drop anymore. I’ve cried all the way driving here, letting out all the hurt inside.

He said everything would be fine, that it’s okay. I relived those memories when he held me in his arms, whispered those tender words of love, and telling me that nothing else matters but the two of us. I missed those, but I have to move on. We should move on because it’s over.

I put the letter inside the drawer and drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next day with a call from someone. My phone vibrated and blinked beside me. I looked at the home screen and found Hyuk Jae’s name. I didn’t bother to answer and let it ring until it ended.

The accumulated dirt of the house became clearer with the help of sunlight. I made breakfast for myself and after stuffing my stomach with good food, I prepared the cleaning materials.

“This needs a lot of work.” I said to myself and removed my shirt. I started with the living room then to the kitchen and to the three bedrooms, including my own. I proceeded to the toilet and bathroom. Four hours passed, and the house looked like new.

I grabbed a towel and wiped off all the sweat on my body. Everything was in its right order. I sat on the floor and let the stress go away little by little then I decided to take a bath.

I left the house as it is. I went to the nearest coffee shop to loosen up. It’s been a while since I haven’t taken a regular dose of caffeine. As I swung the door open, all the customers looked at me. Oh well, the issue was still fresh as brewed coffee. I just have to get used to it. Some even took stolen pictures of me. I acted as if it was nothing, but deep inside, I worried for my own safety and privacy. I was sure these people would spread that I’m here. And like the nature of wildfire, the news would creep throughout the country.

“One cup of Americano please.” I told the employee on the counter.

He nodded and made my order right away. He gave it to me smoking hot, and when I was about to get my wallet, a voice broke in.

“Make it free. I’ll pay it for him.” he said.

I shifted my gaze to that guy leaning on the door of their kitchen. He was handsome, his stature was lean and he had a tantalizing pair of eyes. A crooked yet friendly smile formed on his lips as he melted me with his intriguing stare. It seemed like he’s making me remember him, but I haven’t met him before.

I looked away and searched a table. I found one near the wall and took my seat on the long beige couch and leaned on the backrest. People were back in their usual businesses. A thought hit me- I’m still not safe here. Jinan is a beautiful place to live, but with them knowing the reason why I’m here, I felt like an army of cameras threaten my peaceful living. I really prayed for this to end, but in contrast, I got no response.

Now I have to tell myself that it’s enough. Enough of the heartbreak, enough of the hurt. Forget Hyuk Jae. Despite the judgment, I have to keep on living. Step out of the past, he already let me go. I found a reason to start a new chapter of my life.

I let the caffeine run through my veins as I sipped the coffee, and my mind wandered off to that guy a while ago. He was vaguely familiar to me but I couldn’t erase him out of my mind.

And when I thought of his smile, a blissful feeling splashed my heart.