Yongsun woke up from her bed, having a hard time opening her eyes fully. It was still dark and when she checked the time from the digital clock on her bedside table, it was just 4:16 am. Her eyes fell closed again, letting herself fall asleep. Too early, she thought. 

A couple of hours had passed and Yongsun woke again. This time, the sun was already shining bright. Her floor-to-ceiling windows let all the sunlight blast against the white walls of her room. She cursed herself for forgetting to set her curtains before going to bed but it wasn’t all that bad because she was greeted by a beautiful skyline. Slowly, she noticed something unusual. She wondered why the sun warms up her face so fast and the buildings didn’t cast so much shadow. 

It only means one thing. 

“What time is it?” She asked herself then turned to the digital clock on her bedside table.

Her eyes shot wide when she read the time. It’s already two in the afternoon and Wheein’s supposed to arrive in Seoul an hour before noon. With her frozen body, you wouldn’t think that she’s panicking until her body started to ‘glitch’. Yongsun didn’t know what to do first. Am I going to take a shower? Do I need to shower? Oh! I still have dry shampoo! Wait, what should I wear? Oh, I need to brush by teeth! Do I need to shave? 

Yongsun sat up and checked the condition inside her underwear. ! I should’ve waxed it when I had the time! Yongsun grunted and rolled her eyes before she quickly stood up. Due to her action, few of her pillows fell as well as her phone. She picked it up and saw a total of 15 missed calls from Hyejin and Wheein. There were even text messages but can’t waste more time reading them. Instead, she called Hyejin. She doesn’t want to hear Wheein’s disappointed voice.

While waiting for Hyejin to answer, she started to pick up the rest of the pillows then went straight to her bedroom door.

“Unnie?” Hyejin answered.

Yongsun opened the door and to her surprise, Hyejin was comfortably sitting on her huge L-shaped sofa.

Yongsun was speechless and thoughtless too. She was too surprised to even think of anything. Suddenly, she noticed a couple of bags resting on the floor and a familiar messenger bag was sitting on her couch. The first thought she had was, Wheein’s here?

“Good thing you’re awake now. I’m starving! Wheein didn’t want me to touch the food because she wanted us to eat together,” Hyejin said as she stood up from the couch and head to Yongsun’s kitchen. 

Yongsun looked around and she even walked to her bathroom to check if Wheein’s there. She walked back to the living room where Hyejin can see her. “Wheein’s outside,” Hyejin said as she arranged the table for them.

“W-why?” Yongsun asked.

“She’s mad at you. When you called me, she ran outside. She said she can’t see you after what you’ve done. I forced her to come here and when I told her that you’re on the phone, she just ran outside,” Hyejin shrugged.

Yongsun’s eyes shot wide for the second time this morning. Wheein’s mad? I didn’t know she gets mad that easily! Oh my gosh! But isn’t she a little bit shallow? I mean, she made me worry so much yesterday and I-, Yongsun was distraught from the beeping noise coming from her main door. She knew who it might be and she’s nervous. The door opened and Wheein came in with a plastic on one hand. Yongsun watched Wheein removed her shoes and jacket in the mudroom. Yongsun got confused because first, Wheein doesn’t look mad or upset and second, if she just ran out of the room then why the hell is she carrying a plastic bag? Yongsun squinted at what’s inside the plastic bag to make out what’s inside. Ice cream?! She turned to Hyejin who’s already grinning at her. 

“Oh, Yongsun! Good thing you’re already up! Hyejin’s starving. We can eat our lunch now!” Wheein said as she skipped to where Yongsun’s standing. Wheein hugged her and gave her a peck on the cheek. Wheein noticed Yongsun’s stiffness and asked if she’s okay.

“I told unnie that you’re mad at her for waking up late,” Hyejin said, already stuffing food in .

Wheein turned to her and asked, “And you believed her? Do you really think I’ll get mad at you just like that?” 

“Nope,” Yongsun pouted and it made Wheein smile. Before Yongsun can do or say anything, Wheein hit her and squeezed it. As soon as Wheein relaxed her hand, she patted it lightly and whisper to Yongsun’s ear, “I’m starving. Let’s eat,” and kissed her in the cheek once again.

Wheein started to walk away when Yongsun grabbed her wrist and pulled her in a tight embrace. 

“I missed you, Wheein-ah,” Yongsun said as she snuggled her face on Wheein’s neck.

Wheein, with the plastic bag still in her hand, hugged Yongsun back. 

“I missed you too,” Wheein said and tighten the hug. Before she pulled away to drag Yongsun to the dining, she planted kisses on her shoulders. “I missed your shoulders. I mean, it would’ve been great to kiss you on your forehead or temple since I find it endearing but your shoulders are the only thing I can reach. to have a taller girlfriend,” Wheein smiled cheekily at Yongsun and dragged her to the dining table. “Your place is pretty dope, by the way.”

***

Their late lunch had ended and Hyejin was called to drop by at the site she’s been working on.

“Hey, Wheein. I don’t think I’ll be at the airport to send you off. I’m sorry,” Hyejin said while she enveloped her arms on Wheein. “Take care on your trip and don’t forget what we’ve talked about, okay? I’ll hunt you down and drag your tiny here,” she kept on patting Wheein’s back as she talked. “Don’t do anything stupid. Call me when you need me, okay? I’ll fly to where you are,” she added.

“I know,” Wheein smiled.

“You’re not alone anymore, Wheein-ah. I am here, we are here,” Hyejin said, her voice quivering.

Wheein knew that Hyejin’s about to cry so she pulled her friend closer. “I know, I know. You should go now before we bawl like a child,” Wheein laughed and patted Hyejin’s arms. 

“Alright, alright! I’ll go now,” Hyejin pulled away and walked out of Yongsun’s condo unit.

Wheein and Yongsun was left in the living room. They were both quietly staring at the door until Wheein heard Yongsun sigh.

“Hey, are you alright?” Wheein turned to Yongsun as she asked her.

“Yeah, I just,” Yongsun said as she walked to her sofa and lazily sat there. She opened her TV and started to browse the channels.

Wheein didn’t know what to do or say but she knows that she must do something. She doesn’t know how to respond to that. Still, she had to break this thick wall that’s starting to grow between them.

“Can I sit beside you?” Wheein asked, half smiling.

Yongsun looked at her like she was caught red-handed. They stared at each for a couple of seconds until Yongsun shut her eyes tight and sighed. She shut it so tight believing that it would stop the tears from escaping her eyes but it didn’t work. She nodded as she wiped her own tears.

Wheein slowly sat beside Yongsun and just as she settled in, she pulled Yongsun for a hug.

“Why?” is the only thing that Wheein could say. She felt like she made the situation worse. This is one of those scenarios that Wheein is not accustomed to. She felt lost and she hates it.

Yongsun then pulled away and composed herself. She shook her head then turned to the television again. She sat there as if Wheein’s not around.

Wheein took all her energy to lengthen her patience and understanding because feeling lost is one of the things that pushes her buttons. No, these buttons don’t make her lash out or burst in anger. This made her feel like she’s floating in darkness and sometimes she felt like slowly getting swallowed by quicksand without nothing to hold on to. Right now, she feels like Yongsun’s so far away even if she’s just sitting beside her. What did I do?

She was struck out of her thoughts when Yongsun turned off the television. Wheein saw that Yongsun’s hands were shaking and now she’s hesitating to hold it. What if I’ll make it worse? What should I do? Wheein thought. 

Wheen suddenly wanted to cry. Maybe because she’s so frustrated. Why can’t I just think properly instead of cry? Why do I cry when I don’t need to? When I don’t want to? Wheein felt like head’s going to explode. She stared at Yongsun’s hand until her tears pooled the edges of her eyes. It became blurry but she didn’t blink or move. The silence and the unfamiliar room kept making it worse. Her ears started to ring and she held her breath.

When Yongsun spoke, she felt like she was awakened from a bad dream. She wiped her tears and focused on Yong.

“He and I have been together for three years and one day he was sent to Spain to work for a certain project for eight months. Before he left, he made promises. He even proposed to me. He said that we will get married as soon as he comes back but… two months after he left, he started to get cold and distant. Another two months had passed and he just stopped talking to me. It’s like he disappeared. I got worried so I tried my best to contact some of her workmates there but I failed. I mean, what if he had gotten into an accident or anything! I asked Hyejin to come with me to Spain to find him. Hyejin said I was crazy but who wouldn’t be? I loved him with all my heart, Wheein. Hyejin and I were waiting in the lobby of their office. Minutes later, he appeared. He was laughing with his workmates. He was so ing happy. But his laughter disappeared as soon as he saw me. The closer he got, the more I noticed the ring on his finger. He said that he got a workmate pregnant and got married and he decided to stay there,” Yongsun breathed deep. “He didn’t even apologize!”

Wheein then knew what she needed to do. Listen.

“I was left in the dark. It would’ve been better if he told me that instead of not saying anything and disappear! I wanted to go to my mom to tell her the truth but I’m scared! I’m scared that she’d tell me that I’m stupid and might even blame me for it! I can’t tell my friends because I’m afraid they’d see me less. I don’t even know why I felt like I was the one who did the wrong thing! I felt so ashamed! He ruined me, Wheein. It took me some time before I became better and I’m scared that I’d end up in the dark again.”

Wheein, now, had a full understanding of what was happening. She realized that she was too centered in her own promises, too confident that she had failed to grasp Yongsun’s perspective. She was so into the moment that she somehow became a little selfish.

“I’m sorry,” Wheein whispered.

“What?” 

“I’m sorry I was selfish. I should’ve exerted more effort to understand your side. I was too confident that I failed to try to see your point of view. I’m sorry,” Wheein said then she held Yongsun’s hand. “You don’t have to wait for me if you don’t want to. You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready. But I will come back. Believe it or not, I will come back to you and I will wait for you,” Wheein said.

“Don’t be sorry, Wheein. We are all selfish in various ways. There may be doubts lingering in my mind but I’m decided to wait for you. I will wait for you, Wheein. Just tell me when to stop. I’ll understand if you won’t come back to me but don’t leave me in the dark just like he did,” Yongsun said as she placed her hand on the side of Wheein’s neck and caressed Wheein’s jaw with her thumb. She pulled Wheein close to her and hugged her. “I love you, Wheein. As much as I wanted you here with me, I can’t hold you back from doing what you love.”

“I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry,” Wheein whispered.

“It’s okay. You don’t need to say anything. I just wanted you to know that all I want from you while you are away is your honesty,” 

“Okay,”

“Okay,”

***

Wheein was spooning Yongsun on the sofa while watching Yongsun’s favorite animated film, Wreck-it Ralph. Little did Yongsun know that Wheein was part of the environment design team of the movie. She waited for the movie to end and asked Yongsun to watch the credits. Yongsun found it a little strange but she let her. Yongsun didn’t really pay that much attention until Wheein paused it.

“Unnie, read the names,” Wheein said with a huge smile on her face.

“What? Why?” Yongsun asked.

“Just do it!” Wheein said, nudging Yongsun’s leg with hers.

Yongsun did and it took her some time to spot Wheein’s name. 

“Wait! Wo-wo-woah! You worked at Disney?!” Yongsun sat up straight and kept hitting Wheein’s thigh.

“Ow! Stop it!” Wheein pulled Yongsun back to lay down beside her. This time, Yongsun is facing her. “I was outsourced. Many huge animation studios outsource people to save money. A friend I met along my travels was the one who recruited me to be part of the team. Though I wished it was Pixar,” Wheein smiled and glanced at Yongsun who was looking at her with so much admiration. “Oh! Stop looking at me like that! I didn’t do that much! Don’t look at me like I made the whole movie!” 

“What?” Yongsun started to tickle Wheein’s side. “Is looking at my girlfriend a crime now?” 

“Stop!” Wheein cried and begged Yongsun and she did. 

“Show me exactly the parts you worked on, please!” Yongsun begged.

“You don’t have to beg, darling. I already plan to do that. I love to brag about the huge I accomplished! Give me the remote!” Wheein said and it made Yongsun laugh. “Let me show you how great your girlfriend is!” 

Wheein would pause the film exactly at the scene they worked on. She even explained that just like building a house, they need to make a floor plan. Their conversation started there and it rolled to all the big projects that Wheein worked on. Wheein showed Yongsun everything with the help of her iPad. In movies or TV series, even in books and comics, in this scenario, Yongsun would just look at Wheein in adoration. She’d be captivated and be lost in time but that’s not the case. Yongsun was so interested in Wheein’s work. She asks so many questions just like an innocent and curious little child. There are questions after questions after questions. Wheein showed her an album where all her raw works are compiled. Yongsun took the iPad from her and was so invested in it. Wheein felt great whenever Yongsun would compliment her or when Yongsun would whisper “wow”, “unbelievable”, and “amazing”. It made Wheein’s heart full until she noticed how focused Yong is at her pieces.

“Hey, notice me,” Wheein poked Yongsun’s arm and the latter just brushed her hand off. Wheein snuggled closer to Yongsun and said, “Notice me, senpai,” in aegyo. Yongsun just looked at her weirdly.

“What the?” Yongsun said and went back to Wheein’s iPad.

“Waifu!” Wheein whispered at Yongsun’s ears exaggeratedly. “Stop doing that! Notice me!” Wheein started to shake Yongsun’s arm. “I said notice me, senpai!” 

They’ve been at it until Yongsun placed the gadget on the coffee table and looked at Wheein. “You’re so great, Wheein-ah! I can see that you are more keen in colors. The way you painted your subjects, they weren’t as detailed but I can make out of their emotions. The way to compose your palette is just so amazing. I’m not that artsy-type, museum kind of person but wow! Though I’ve seen different artworks before and they rarely struck me like this,” Yongsun said and pursed her lips trying to find the right words that reflected her thoughts. “It’s like, uhm, how do I say this, hmm… It’s like I’m listening to an instrumental music, the calming kind, you know? It doesn’t need lyrics to make you feel something or to make you understand what it is.” Yongsun added.

“I think I have the set of musicians who make that kind of music,” Wheein said as she lovingly looked at Yongsun. “And thank you for your wonderful take on my art. I appreciate it so much. I love you,” Wheein added as she kissed Yongsun’s shoulder.

“The shoulder thing is our thing now, isn’t it?” Yongsun asked, looking deep in Wheein’s eyes.

“Yes! And I’m the only person that’s allowed to do that, you hear?” Wheein said then pouted.

Yongsun nodded, containing her laughter because of this kind of attitude of Wheein.

“Can we please go back to cuddling? And maybe sprinkle it with snogging?” Wheein asked cutely and Yongsun complied. Both of them laid down and on the couch and passionately kissed.

Hours had passed and Yongsun felt sleepy. Wheein who’s humming her an unfamiliar song, was looking at the ceiling as she brushes her fingertips at Yongsun’s arm that’s s around her waist. Yongsun wanted to sleep but that would mean she’d be wasting time. Wheein’s flight is in a couple of hours and she wanted to make the most of each second that they’ll be together. 

“It’s already dark outside, aren’t you hungry?” Wheein then kissed Yongsun’s forehead. She felt a light strain on her shoulder because Yongsun’s head had been resting on it for a while now. 

“Are you?” Yongsun said, looking up at Wheein.

“A little. Maybe we can stay like this for another hour. Is that okay?” Wheein asked and Yongsun nodded. “Is there a place you wanted to take me?” Wheein started to Yongsun’s hair.

“Hmm? There is. It’s my favorite tteokbokki place,” Yongsun smiled at her. Wheein can see the excitement in Yongsun’s face.

“Okay, then!” Wheein said, planting another kiss on Yongsun’s forehead.

“Yeah, but let’s stay like this for now,” Yongsun snuggled closer to Wheein. “And continue humming, please,” She added and this made Wheein smile. 

***

An hour had passed and Yongsun found herself in a dilemma. Wheein fell asleep and she’s torn between waking her up or not. The noise of hunger from her tummy finally made her decide.

“Wheein-ah, wake up. Wheenie,” Yongsun sat next to a sleeping Wheein and shook her legs to wake up. “Wheeinie,” she called once more and she’s sure Wheein’s awake now because it’s obvious that Wheein’s trying to stop herself from smiling. “Wheein-ah, I know you’re already awake. Get up now. I’m hungry,” she said, smiling.

Yongsun didn’t bring her car since the place is just a couple of blocks away. She also wanted to walk with Wheein and have a random conversation with her. The time may be limited but this is her way to make the most of the remaining time that they have together. 

Yongsun was the one who knows the place and the one who lives in this city but looking at them, it almost looked like Wheein’s the one who knows where to go. Yongsun clutched her arm on Wheein’s as they walked. 

“It’s a little colder than usual,” Yongsun said, sniffing.

Wheein stopped walking and faced Yongsun. She took off her beanie and wore it to Yong.

“Here,” Wheein said as she adjusted the beanie of Yongsun’s head. “I’m used to this cold, anyway,” she smiled at Yong whose lips are pursed. “Hey, what’s with that face?” Wheein asked, sliding her hand on her pocket and lifting her elbow, inviting Yongun to hook her arm with hers.

“The coldest season’s about to come and you won’t be here,” Yongsun said as she accepted Wheein’s invitation and continued to walk.

“You can keep that beanie. Wear it everytime you miss me,” Wheein said.

“Then I think I’ll have to wear them every day,” Yongsun smiled.

“Then I think I should give you other things to wear. I don’t want you to ruin that by wearing it too much. That’s my lucky charm,” Wheein said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… I was in Melbourne that time and I met this eccentric lady who sat with me in a coffee shop. There were lots of empty tables but she still chose to share the table with me. She said she just lost her husband and she’s not used to eating alone. I felt for her because I just lost my cat and I told her that too. She ordered plain pasta, I mean, just pasta and olive oil! Then she started to take out herbs from her bag and started to sprinkle them in her food. She even brought her own bread! Well, even if she’s a little odd, we had a great conversation. She even asked me to teach her some korean words because she suddenly wanted to go to Korea. Then she took out that beanie and wrote my cat’s name inside. She took out this small bunch of dried leaves or twigs that are bundled together and lit it up. Then she started to do some kind of ceremonial with it. The crew noticed the smoke and we were ushered outside. It was really funny. Well, it was quite embarrassing when it happened but now that I remember it, it’s so funny. Since then, I started to get big projects and recognition from other artists. I get cheaper flights. Better lodging deals. I never had a hard time after that. It felt like everything was aligned for me. That was the last time I saw her. Wherever she is, I hope she’s doing fine now. I hope I see her again when I come back there in Australia. I want to thank her for something,” Wheein said.

“I hope you see her but I don’t think I deserve to have this beanie. Between the two of us, I think it’s you who needed it the most,” Yongsun said.

“It’s okay, I have a new lucky charm,” Wheein said, pulling her phone and turning it on. It was a picture of Yongsun sleeping. 

“Ya! You could’ve picked something else!” Yongsun said, trying to steal Wheein’s phone.

“It’s okaaaay! I like this better!” Wheein said, sliding her phone back to her pocket.

They continued to walk, now holding each other’s hand, not minding what the people might think.

“Don’t you remember that beanie?” Wheein asked, then Yongsun looked at her.

“No, why?”

“What I really want to thank that lady for is... meeting you,” Wheein stopped walking and turned to face Yongsun. “I was wearing that beanie the night I met you. Looking back from where I am now, I know it was luck,” Wheein said. “I believe that that beanie led me to you,” She added then she planted a kiss on the back of Yongsun’s hand. “I thought it would sound sweet but when I said it, I just realized how funny it was!” Wheein laughed and Yongsun followed.

***

They’ve had their dinner in Yongsun’s favorite tteokbokki place, which is actually a stall. The owner knew Yongsun well. Yongsun introduced Wheein and the owner to each other. Wheein was even complimented for her beauty by the owner. After they’ve eaten, they walked around and Yongsun brought her to all the places she liked best until the clock reached twelve. They went back to Yongsun’s place to grab Wheein’s stuff and head to the airport.

Wheein wanted to be in the airport an hour and a half before her flight. 

Yongsun and Wheein were standing outside of the airport, staring at each other. Wheein can see the sadness in Yongsun’s eyes but deep in her heart, she knows that Yongsun understands. Wheein then took something from the front pocket of her messenger bag. It was something metal with yellow cloth wrapping it. As Wheein unwraps the yellow cloth and unfolded the metal stick, Yongsun can already tell what it was. 

“A flag?” Yongsun asked.

“Don’t I look like a girl scout with all these bags on me?” Wheein smiled. “Please stick it to my bigger bag. For fun,” Wheein turned to her side and when Yongsun’s done she faced Yongsun again and giggled.

Yongsun did the same and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you look like a girl scout,” Yongsun said.

Both fell silent until Yongsun talked. “I know that you’re doing this because I look sad. Thank you for making me smile when I’m down and thank you for trying. I’ll miss you so much, Wheein,” Yongsun said.

Wheein took off the bag that’s worn on her front and placed it on the floor. She pulled Yongsun close and hugged her tight. “I’ll miss you too, Yong. I love you,” Wheein whispered.

“You know, wherever you may be, no matter how far you are from me, no matter how long the distance between us, this feeling I have for you will never change. And I will wait. I promise you that I will wait for as long as you let me and in the situation that we are in, all I ask from you is your honesty. I want you to be transparent with me most especially in difficult times. And please take care. Don’t get sick or anything, okay? And this might sound selfish but please, call me or message me as often as you can,” Yongsun said, fighting the tears that are threatening to fall.

“I know but you said so many things and you didn’t say you love me,” Wheein pouted at Yongsun. 

“Aigoo, I love you, Jung Wheein!” Yongsun leaned closer and kissed Wheein. It was fast but understandable. After they kissed, Yongsun looked around and kissed Wheein again but this time it was longer. 

Yongsun looked at the time and knew that Wheein needed to go inside.

Wheein picked up her bag and sighed. “Yong, I’m going inside now but I have a request for you,”

“What?”

“When I start to walk away, I won’t look back. Is that okay?” 

“Why?” 

“I’ll be crying then,” Wheein said, her eyes are watery.

“Yeah, that’s probably the best,” Yongsun nodded and kept looking up, her eyes are watery too.

“I’m going inside now,” Wheein said.

Yongsun nodded and Wheein started to walk away. She watched Wheein read the entrance. She turned around and started to walk away when someone called her name.

“Kim Yongsun!”

Yong turned around and saw Wheein walking hurriedly to her. As soon as Wheein reached her, Wheein then kissed Yongsun’s cheek then her shoulder. “I forgot to say goodbye,” Wheein giggled. 

“Goodbye Yong… and Yong’s shoulders hehehe.”