CHAPTER 24

//

“How is she?” Joy asked weakly as soon as she saw Seulgi stepped out of Irene’s room.

“She fell asleep crying.” Seulgi answered weakly as she sits besides Joy “Seungwan?”

Joy shook her head as an answer.

Seulgi looked down as she put both her hands on her face “I should’ve told her... maybe if I had told her like she wanted to be told it wouldn’t hurt her like this.”

“She love Wendy unnie, she’s bound to get hurt like this whether it came from us or not.” Joy said running her hands on Seulgi’s back comforting her “Don’t beat yourself up to it.”

“What happens now?” Yeri asked worry and sadness wrapped in her voice.

Joy and Seulgi didn’t answer, for they don’t know what the answer is.

//

“Did you tell our manager what happen?” Irene asked frowning at Seulgi.

Sight of Irene broke the three’s heart, her eyes still red and puffy and her tears stained cheek visible indicating that she had just cried minutes ago.

“No… I just said that you don’t feel well and that it’d be best for you if you don’t proceed to—“

“Who are you to make that decision for me?” Irene snapping at Seulgi holding her phone on her hand.

“Unnie…” Joy said in a reprimanding tone “She’s just looking out for you, we all are.”

“And you’re all damn good at looking out for me.” Irene said in sarcasm, silencing Joy. “How long have you all known? You could’ve told me Joy, you could’ve told me that Rosé was playing me when we met her but you didn’t. Was it fun seeing me gushing at her like a fool when she’s playing me this whole time?”

“We didn’t want to keep it from you, we just don’t know how to tell you.”

“Rosé is Seungwan’s fiancé.” Irene stated tears welling on the corner of her eyes “Four words, all you need to tell me was that four ing words and you didn’t.”

“It’s not as easy as it sound and you know that.” Joy pointed out with a hard tone “Do you think we wanted to keep it from you, that we are all thrilled to know that while you were busy going on dates or whatever you’re doing with Suho oppa Seungwan unnie found someone who makes her happy and as much as I hate Rosé more than anything in this world right at this moment, as much as I hate to say this, but she makes Seungwan unnie happy. We were there and she looks so happy unnie, happiness that we haven’t seen for a long time and that’s because of Rosé… She’s happy with her.”

Her heart hasn’t even recovered even a tiny bit from what she saw last night and there she is feeling her heart shattering inside her again.

“We know that whatever you have with Suho oppa, you’ll get hurt once you found out about Seungwan unnie and Rosé. We know that despite you acting like everything is going well with you and him, you still love Seungwan unnie. You still love her and she’s now in love and happy with someone else, how do we break that to you?”

Irene looked down, her body shakes as she tries so hard not to let the tears out, trying to hold back even though it was useless at this point. Wendy breaking up with her hurts like hell and tore her apart but hearing Wendy in love and happy with someone else is a different kind of pain, she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t mumble a word, she couldn’t move, it’s like life is out of her in the worst possible way and the only thing she can do is stand there and wait for it to be done with her.

“We wanted to tell you, we’re about to last night.” Joy said her expression soften “I’m sorry you had to found out about it like that. We d—“she stops when Irene’s phone rang.

Irene answered her phone quickly “Yeah, I’ll proceed with my schedule today.” She said then hung up and turns to leave immediately.

“I don’t think you should unnie.” Seulgi said stopping Irene from her tracks. “Take a break.”

Irene turns to them, “I have to Seul. I need to.” Pain and desperation written all over her face and her shaky voice

“I need to do something to occupy my mind, I need to distract myself and take my mind off things because if I don’t…” She looks down again, her lips quivering as she tried to hold back that tears from falling

“If I stay here and do nothing, my mind will just take me back from what I saw last night and I don’t want to keep coming back to that, it kills me every time. I need to do something to keep it off my mind even for a second, even just a second will do because it hasn’t stop playing in my head the moment I saw it.” She then looks up meeting Seulgi’s gaze with tears in her eyes that will fall any second now

“It wouldn’t stop playing in my sleep, right after I woke up not even when I’m standing here talking to you” She said as tears finally broke out “It won’t stop and it hurts. It hurts so much.”

“It’s okay.” Seulgi quickly pulled her into a hug “It’s okay.”

//

“That was good.” Wendy said when the movie they’re watching ended and move to looked for another movie.

“Fiancé…”

“Yeah?” Wendy replied “What do you want to watch, I’ll let you choose this time.”

“That was our third movie today and as much as I love going fourth with you, you do know that you have to go home and face whatever it is that awaits you there.”

Wendy sighed heavily “I know… it’s just…”

“I could go with you, you know.” Rosé said squeezing Wendy’s hand “I could go with you and apologize for playing Irene and clear things with them.”

“That’d be nice but I don’t think it’s the right time.” Wendy replied “Not sure about the others but I’m pretty sure Joy won’t just let it go even if you apologize.”

“And I don’t expect her to.” Rosé said “I did something wrong.”

“I know… but still, I know Joy and she’d say mean things and calls you names…”

“And I had a tiny taste of angry Joy when we met last time.” Rosé said chuckling to assure Wendy “I can handle it.”

“But I would hate it.” Wendy said “I don’t want anyone calling you names, not even them.”

“I was really a this time Wan, I can take a few big words, you don’t have to shield me from it, especially when I’m the one who did it to myself.”

Wendy nodded as she stood up from her seat “You will apologize to them but when the coast is clear or Joy won’t try to pull your gorgeous hair out of you.”

Rosé laughed. “Joy’s a scary woman.”

“She is.” Wendy said smiling as she walks towards the door

“Use my car.” Rosé said as she handed her the key “I’d stay in today and I won’t use it tomorrow since I have a shoot.”

“I’ll make sure to bring it back tomorrow.”

“No scratch, I love you to death but I won’t forgive you if you leave a scratch on my baby.” Rosé threatens

Wendy laughed “No scratch, promise.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Rosé asked with concerned “I’m serious when I said I can handle them angry at me.”

“I know.” Wendy assured her with a smile “I just…”

“I understand.” Rose said smiling at her “You don’t need to say it.”

“I know you do.” Wendy said with a smile “One of the upside of you knowing what’s on my mind is that I don’t have to say it.”

“Just please don’t get angry and just understand them. I know how you don’t get angry easily and always have your emotions in check but I’ve seen you lose it on more than one occasion when it comes to defending me and I appreciate it more than I can tell you but this is the worst time that you get angry for me…” Rosé said “They aren’t a stranger, a bully or someone who just hates me for no reason at all. They are your friends and they are an important people in your life and I do not want you to fight with them for the wrong things that I did. Just accept that I was wrong and I deserve the anger they have right now.”

Wendy nodded.

Rosé then hugged her “Don’t forget what we talked about last night, okay?”

“I won’t.”

//

Wendy took a deep breath before she entered the code of their dorm and dragged her feet inside. She breathes in relief when the living room was empty. She went towards the kitchen and gets herself a glass of water and was in the middle of drinking it when someone called her.

“Seungwan?”

Wendy choked on her drinks.

“You okay?” Seulgi hurriedly went to her rubbing her back

“Y-yeah, I’m okay.” Wendy replied as she put the glass down “I’m okay.”

Seulgi then grabbed a tissue and handed to her.

“Thank you.” Wendy said with a smile and then wipes her face “I’m sorry…”

“For what?’

“For not replying to your messages and not answering your calls.”

“It’s okay, I understand…”

Wendy swallowed then met Seulgi’s gaze “How is she?”

“She’s on her schedule today.” Seulgi answered. That didn’t really answer Wendy’s questioned but accepts it anyway.

“Seul— you’re here…” Joy said who just entered the kitchen

“Hi…” Wendy said awkwardly

“Seriously?” Clearly upset

“I’m sorry.” Wendy said “And I’m really sorry for what Fiancé did and she was sorry too.”

“Oh, really?” Joy raising her brows, crossing her arms “1 to 10 how sorry she was? 3? Nah, that’s too high for her.”

“Joy…” Seulgi reprimands.

“What?” She asked sharply “That girl was a , she s—“

“Joy, please…” Wendy cut her “Don’t call her that.”

Joy scoffs in disbelief “Did she tell you what she did? Because if you do then you know that she’s freaking !”

“I know what she did, I know how wrong it was. You can get angry at her all you want but please don’t call her things like that.”

“I'd call her whatever I want and I’m calling her a because she’s a .”

Wendy breathes, she understands where Joy is coming from but she can’t help get angry for what she’s calling Rosé.

This is the reason why she didn’t want Rosé to come, Rosé’s probably would just stand there and not say anything as Joy said hurtful, mean things and call her names because she knows she was at fault and that she deserves it but Wendy was so sure that she won’t just stand there like what Rosé would do. Rosé knows that Wendy won’t just stand there and do nothing, she would defend her to them and that’ll only make things worse.

“Joy, just please…”

“You do not get to defend her to me, you do not get to defend her for watch she did, you don’t get to that no matter how much you love her.”

“I’m not defending her for what she did wrong Joy, I just don’t like it when you call her that.”

“Well, she seems to like it last time we spoke. She even made sure that she wasn’t just a but the es of all es”

“Jo—“

“Do not tell me not to call her that one more time.” Joy said firmly “I hate her more when you do that. I hate her more because you’re standing here defending her like she’s innocent and didn’t do anything wrong. I hate her more because it seems like what she did was okay with you.”

“I to—“

“That was Joohyun unnie!” Joy screams at her shaking from anger “She did that to Joohyun unnie, how could you defend her in front of us? Just because she hurt you in the past, do—“

“Don’t go there Joy…”

“Just because she hurts you in the past, doesn’t mean you get to let anyone hurt her, anyone… not even you.”

“Is that how you think of me?” Obviously hurt from Joy’s accusation “That just because she hurt me, I’d get back on hurting her? That just because she hurt me, I’d be happy to see her get hurt? Is that how you think of me?”

“No because that’s not you but ever since Rosé comes into your life, I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“Do you really even know me Joy?”

That caught Joy off-guard and before she could answer, Wendy spoke again.

“No, you don’t.” Wendy said bitterly “You just know the part of me that I’m showing you, all you can hear was the words that I’m saying. All you see was the smile I’m putting on my face.

How about the words that I didn’t say, that I couldn’t say? How about the part of me behind closed door? Can you even differentiate when I’m smiling sincerely or if I was just faking it? Have you ever looked hard in my eye and see the pain living there?”

 “You don’t, you can’t… you didn’t. None of you did because none of you tried.” Wendy said standing there looking at with her now teary eyes “Not even Joohyun.”

“But that girl you’re calling a , she can tell when my voice shakes, she can tell that I’m breaking down even when I’m wearing a smile, she understood all the words that I didn’t say. She sees my pain and my already dried tears even when we’re oceans apart.  So Joy forgive me if I can’t just stand here and listen while you say those things to her, because that girl you’re calling is the only thing that’s keeping me together.” Wendy said as tears dropped from her eyes.

“She’s the only thing that’s keeping me from falling apart.”

Joy couldn’t say anything she doesn’t know what to say. She and Seulgi just stood there, looking at Wendy with tears that could fall any second, as guilt and sadness wash over their faces.

“Rosé didn’t just come into my life, she’s in my life. She’s in my life even before I met all of you.” Wendy said wiping her tears “She’s the girl who dragged me in my first singing competition, she’s the girl who supported and celebrated with me in all little things of my life. She was there all my life and we’ve known each other our whole life, so please trust me when I tell you that she knows that what she did was wrong, she was sorry and regretted what she did and that she’s a good person and what she did breaks her heart too.”

Without them knowing, there is one more person who heard their conversation or more like Wendy’s confession standing on the living room, stifling the sound of her tears from echoing.

“I understand why she did what she did even if none of you does, you can all hate me for this all you want and I’d understand.”

Wendy said then starts to move, walking pass the two and once she set foot on the living room she met Irene with tears falling down her face.

“I-I’m sorry…” Irene said crying in front of her “I’m sorry, that I didn’t know. I’m sorry for not trying.”

“I know.” Wendy said as she reaches Irene’s face

“I’m sorry for ruining us.” Irene said bawling “Seungwan, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“I know.” Wendy said smiling as tears drops from her eyes too as she wipes Irene’s tears “It’s not just your fault, it’s our relationship and half of what went wrong was mine. I’m sorry for not letting you know. I’m sorry I ruined us too.”