D+163

The first time felt wrong. Not just because it was when they divorced, but also because it was hidden beneath the mask of being...casual. Though, of course, nothing is ever casual when it comes to Chaeyeon and Eunbi. After the tension had truly blown up beyond any logical reasoning, they labelled it as casual, but clearly Chaeyeon was––is still in love with Eunbi. Either way, it felt wrong for them to engage in each other so carelessly, all the while trying to ignore the feelings they have for each other. 

Then it felt completely right again. Because hell, Chaeyeon was always ready to have Eunbi and love her with reckless abandon. And when they were shrouded in the darkness of what was early morning, being all tangled underneath the sheets, it almost seemed like Eunbi felt the same. 

And now they were back to being awkward. More so for stopping than if they were to continue. But it was for the better.

For the most part, Chaeyeon was thankful for Eunbi stopping their midnight activities. See, made everything complicated. At least the aftermath of it did. Physical connection is easy. It was fun, and it gave them something to do when they were in each other’s company. It gave them an excuse to not talk––and emotions were buried between entangled limbs and hot kisses. And although Chaeyeon misses holding Eunbi the way she used to before, she knows Eunbi made the right decision for them, one that Chaeyeon knows she wouldn’t have been able to make.

Keeping their distance was somewhat beneficial. Chaeyeon had more clarity now than ever. And she held hope for Eunbi to have come to a conclusion as well.

That should have left them to the last step––talking. Though maybe that had been more hovering than an actual step. In her defense, they don’t necessarily not talk. It’s more texting instead of talking actually. Also, maybe circling around random topics through text doesn’t count as talking.

They haven't even addressed Eunbi’s breakdown. Moreso because Chaeyeon didn’t want to be the one to bring it up first. After all, Chaeyeon had already said her piece. Everything else that Eunbi has said that night, as much as it pains Chaeyeon to hear, was out of her hands. That is, where it concerns Eunbi’s parents. But Chaeyeon can do one thing to lessen Eubi’s burden.

Chaeyeon knocks on her daughter’s door a few minutes before curfew. She thought about bringing this up before during dinner, but Wonyoung was so excited talking about a dancing club she joined at school, and Chaeyeon didn’t have the heart to interrupt her. Not when Chaeyeon couldn’t remember the last time her daughter had sounded so happy and relaxed.

Chaeyeon waits for Wonyoung to invite her in before opening the door. She sticks her head in the room and sees her daughter already in bed. The room was dark, the only light came from a night light and Wonyoung’s phone screen. “Can we talk?” asks Chaeyeon.

Wonnie looked confused but nodded anyway. “Sure,” answered Wonyoung as she sets down her phone on the nightstand.

Chaeyeon walks over and sits up against the headboard, her legs dangling off to the side. “Wonnie, I need to ask you for a favor,” Chaeyeon says softly. Once again, her daughter gave her a curious look. “I need you to stop being angry at your mom. To try, at least.”

Wonyoung moved back in surprise, her eyebrows scrunched together questioningly. “But she divorced you,” Wonyoung says, her voice angry.

Chaeyeon sighs, and solemnly nods. “She did, but...” Chaeyeon then pulls Wonyoung close and combs her hand through her daughter’s hair, comforting herself as well as her daughter. “Wonnie, I had my faults too. You know how little time I spent with you and your mom, and though I tried to fix it in the end, I already hurt her a lot.”

Chaeyeon feels Wonyoung tense up in her hold, but Chaeyeon only continues to comfort her daughter. “But you both were happy again.” Suddenly Chaeyeon feels a drop of tear on her arm, and Wonyoung releases a shuddering breath. “I don’t understand why she left.”

Chaeyeon wanted to share the reason with Wonyoung. But she figured, she still had things to work through with Eunbi that it wasn’t fair to burden their daughter with more worries and uncertainties. “The accident took her memories and, after, I took her choices away. One day, maybe we’ll tell you what really happened. But for now, I just need you to know that we love you. Our problems are our own, but we will always try to do right by you. So don’t be too hard on her, okay?” Chaeyeon moves to wipe away any tears left on her daughter’s face. 

Wonyoung pulls back and looks at her mother, her expression a mixture of sadness and frustration. Eventually, Wonyoung nods. “I’ll try.” 

“Thank you, Wonnie.” And while it shouldn’t be Chaeyeon’s job, she was glad that there was one less burden Eunbi had to carry. 

“You still love her,” Wonyoung suddenly says. It was more of a statement than anything, one they both knew were true.

“I do. Of course I do.”

“Does she love you?”

Chaeyeon purses her lips, wishing she knew the answer too. “I don’t know.” Chaeyeon shrugs.

And that seemed like the end of their conversation. Wonyoung had grabbed her phone and turned her body away to give her back to Chaeyeon. And it was fairly easy to get the hint that that was a dismissal. Chaeyeon places a kiss on the back of Wonyoung’s head and whispers a goodnight. “Don’t stay up too late, Wonnie,” she says, taking her leave and heads for the door.

Chaeyeon was just about to step out, but then heard Wonyoung calling her. “Will you ever get back together?” 

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