29.

“Fall is the best. Mom, you win.”

The guy chuckles quietly as he changes the dried hyacinth with another small bouquet of fresh flower. A smile timidly hangs on his lips as the thought of that one person comes to his mind, a little shy to say it in front of his parents. “You see…from Madam Lee’s family, I met a person named Ga Eul. And she’s…,” he hums for a second, thinking of a way to describe the lady in his mind with words, “I don’t know where to start, there’s too many to say about her. She’s brutally honest, a kind of character that I never know it would be incredibly charming. And really–” Jongdae leans closer, whispering, “–really pretty, Mom. Everyone’d be surprise if I bring her with me.”

“Miss Ga Eul talks a lot, more than me most of the times. Maybe at the same level with…Baekhyun? I’ve told you about him a few times before, right?” It’s a pity that his family could never meet those people who brings light into his dull and lonely heart. “Those two agree with each other a lot that they’re always ganging up against me.” Jongdae rolls his eyes at the memory of that duo pulling in his legs.

“But still, they are the best. If it weren’t for them,” he pauses, eyes pinning down to his feet, “I don’t think I’d still be here.”

For a moment, Jongdae halts his words – containing every bit of his sorrow that is hitting his heart like a thunder upon his longing towards each person in his own family. The world is indeed a lonely place. And there are times, a lot of times, that he feels everyone is against him. Even one cold look, even one mere word could bleed his heart. When those times come, Jongdae would wish that he could at least still own a family to stand by his side.

Even when he knows it too well that one wish – the only wish that he has – could never come true.

“Now I think…,” he purses his lips together, feeling the lump in his throat. Jongdae is aware that his vision has turned blurry for the b tears in his eyes, making him tilts his head upwards to avoid them from falling. Jongdae’s lips are shaking, every feelings are thumping against the wall of his chest at the same time. “…I’m able to feel again.”

Grief, guilt and heartache slaps all at once, however his heart is also more than just thankful as he finds hope and love through those precious people.

Surviving years of emptiness is something that goes beyond his own mind, of how did he be able to walk through that phase. Only when Baekhyun steps into his world and seeks him out, he finds himself enjoying to have a company. It didn’t take a long time after that when Jongdae decides to move out from his old house, building a new life of his own even when he was a college student on that moment.

Feels like a mystery, of how destiny brought him to the neighbourhood that treats him like a family. Jongdae spent years trying to mingle with everyone, and surely, there are a lot of times that the guy was genuinely happy for having them around him. Yet his emptiness would embrace him right after the door is closed, burying him deep in silence all over again.

Before things gradually changes without him realizing it.

Jongdae has no idea since when that he finds his heart is beating again. With joy, with blues, with fury, with pain, with worries.

And with love.

“Finally I’m able to breath.”

At last, the guy gives in to his emotions as he squats down, hugging his knees close to his chest as he buries his face in between – drowning himself in the sea of feelings. “Mom, you know? Last night I got into a fistfight,” his words is sewn with sobs almost after each words. “I wasn’t even hurt myself that bad…but they…,” Jongdae stops, again diving his face to the space between his knees and chest. His weep comes out like a little kid, unleashing every feelings that he thought was long gone.

He takes a long time bawling his eyes out, letting out low whimpers in between before slowly getting up to his feet again – finishing the last bit of soft sobs as his head looks straight to the niche that holds his parents’ urn. His vision is still blurry from the waterworks, his pursed lips are still trembling, “I’m doing well, Mom, Dad.” Jongdae squeezes his eyes shut to let the b tears fall before opening them again, gazing at the photo of his parents behind the glass, reassuring them, “You two don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

He sniffs in between, wiping his tears away using the sleeves of his shirt, “I’m finally fine now.”

“You just woke up?” Ga Eul turns her head backward before tilting it upwards, checking the time of day by looking at the sky. She gazes at the guy again, brow lifted at the sight of the man standing by the front door with his hair looking a little messy on the back, still in his plain white tee and a knee-length pants, eyes halfway-opened. “It’s already noon, though.” She walks in after the guy backs away a few steps whilst hand holding out the door for her, putting down the small pot on his kitchen counter.

Her hand reaches for a bowl and spoon, couldn’t help but to notice the cutleries and kitchenware on the shelves are much lesser than before. “Where did your things go? To your parents’ house too?”

The lady turns her body to lean against the counter, facing the other for the conversation however once more is answered by nothing as Jongdae quietly draws his steps closer towards her before suddenly gripping her wrist. Ga Eul’s lips form a small ‘o’ upon the sudden move, snapping her head upwards fluttering a look towards the guy – meeting the same sleepy face.

Jongdae is naturally pouting whilst lids hardly opened – looking too adorable at the moment that the lady’s heart melts – driving her to allow the younger tugging on her arm, walking towards the couch. “Okay, what now?” the lady chuckles quietly as her eyes fall on the latter landing his bum on the sofa, their hands are still connected to each other. She sits down on the spot right by his side, beam never fades from her face as she stares at him.

Ga Eul uses her free hand to reach the guy’s other hand, bringing them together as she tilts her head to the side for a better look at Jongdae’s face.

“Are you that sleepy now?”

Her heart tickled as the latter answers with a few head bobs, looking no different than a 6 years old kid waking up at the morning before going to school for the first time.

“Then, should I leave? Sleep some more, hm?”

A puppy whine escapes from Jongdae’s sealed lips as he shakes his head a few times, earning the former’s giggle for the umpteenth time that day.

“Look at you now…,” Ga Eul’s finger trails along Jongdae’s messy hair, brushing it backwards at the same time observing his face from up close. The bruises from the other night has gone down a lot, making him look better than yesterday, only the scrapes on his knuckles and the small cut on his lips are left. “You disappeared after lunch yesterday, Mom was worried about you. We all do,” she speaks softly, frowning a little from the reaming worry that she keeps since yesterday.

“Well you’re acting rather strange today. Did you drink last night?”

“A bit.”

And so that one answer makes him receives one light slap on his arm from the lady. “Who told you to do that? You’re recovering, Kim Jongdae.”

“It’s not like I’m severely injured…”

“Still…!” She clucks her tongue, sighing lightly, “You shouldn’t do that.” Her hands falls down to his again, tapping the back of those hands, “Then is that why you’re like this now? But I don’t think you’re drunk.”

“Right. I’m toooootally sober. Perfectly.”

Her laughter bursts, amused by Jongdae’s unusual behaviour. Ga Eul would say that it is refreshing to look at him acting this way instead of the one who’s very careful around her. This is fun, seeing this adorable side of him is fun –