10.

“Ma, can you, I don’t know…stop…? Seriously, I’m so sick of you acting this way.”

I ruffle my hair while silently grunt, fuming up with annoyance and irritancy since my mother has not stop ranting about wanting me to get married. I thought I had already made it clear with mom, as well as Shixun himself, of not putting ‘getting hitched’ as the top goals on our list. Both of me and him clearly wants the same thing; we wish to be really successful in our own career and personal life first, especially Shixun, since he is aiming to establish his own independent firm – meanwhile I, my goal since then and now is only one.

My family. My mother.

Getting married, to be specific, with a foreigner is one complicated thing. It’s not like a lawyer could easily shifts themselves to another country – everything needs to be done with a long procedure, exams to get international license and hell, a lot – thus the only other choice if we wanted to get married is for me to move and start a new life again in Shanghai. And certainly that is not going to happen since clearly, there is no way that I would wish to leave my family ever again.

Mom and Haneul are the only two people that keeps me living diligently, I am never going to let them go.

That is the promise that I have made to myself ever since Dad passed away.

“I was only stating the truth, you really are not getting any younger, missy.”

“And so what? What is so wrong about being single at this age?” I pull a chair for herself to sit down, piercing a gaze towards my own mother whose eyes squinting at me from across the table. “If you use the excuse of ‘neighbours saying things’ ever again, there’d be no way I could believe you. I’ve known you for the rest of my life, Ma, you aren’t the type of person who’s easily influenced by others.”

Because both of Mom and I share that same trait, in which the good term would called it ‘stand strong with ones’ principle’ but the precise word that everyone would settle for is ‘hard-headed’.

The elder sighs heavily, massaging her own temple and breathes, “Okay so why don’t you introduce him to me first? At least I could see in person, this man who’s marrying my daughter. You’ve always refusing to do so, every single time I ask you to.”

“Well, that’s because…” My fingers fidgeting, tapping my own arms that I have wrapped around my body as I think hard of an excuse for me to use, “…never mind.” I let out a sigh in defeat and the mother looks relieved as I agree unwillingly, “I’ll try to talk to him later. But please, don’t mention anything about wedding or whatever. Ever again, unless I’m the one who floats it up.”

And so I get up from the seat, lazily step away from the dining table into the bedroom. I reach for my phone and unplug the charger that is connected to it before bringing it along with me to the bed.

As soon as my bum crashes and settle myself down to the soft mattress, the screen of the gadget that I am holding lit up as one message from Jisoo enters, and the photo of a library that I saved as a lock screen wallpaper shows up. A smile couldn’t help but to rise from my face as I reminisce the memory behind that picture – the place where Shixun and I first met.

It was a simple and natural one yet never in the ones that I’ve ever imagined, because I met him when I had already working as a teacher meanwhile Shixun was in his final year as a law major student. Basically we had a kind of argument of whom actually reached the book check-out counter first and honestly I don’t remember being any louder in my life compared to that one moment of insisting that I was in the line before him.

Especially when he is clearly a student so I assumed it was quite rude of him to argue that way with an older person, but about a week after, we met again at a blind date that our friends set up. Turns out he was involved in a serious accident, which caused him to extend the semester and graduate much later than everyone else at our age does. And although we fought too that night, after a few drinks, things get resolved.

Perhaps Jisoo was right, that I tend to start an argument when I am nervous, because heck, only God knows how agitated I was when my eyes first met Shixun’s. Those dreamy eyes were ticking off my nerves, strangely. Gosh now I think I need to get a treatment for this.

A scoff of disbelief towards myself comes out as I think about all of those times, then my attention shifts back to my phone, sending a message about Mom’s request to my boyfriend, and checking out the text that Jisoo just sent next,

“Told you, you should treat that kid nicer next time!”

My eyes roll, hands thrown up to each side of my head.

“Why am I like this, really?”

After getting the information of the next-door guy getting a bouquet of hyacinth each month from my mother, I could not be any more restless. Haneul told me the only thing he knows about those flowers is one day of every month, Jongdae would be out of reach, saying that he’d pay a visit to someone who’s gone. I bet he is still mourning, that kid says.

And of all person, I should be able to relate to that really well since me, too, knows the pain of losing a light i