Ripped: At the End of the Red String
☠I'll Rip Your Story to Bits.☠ Reviews && Fanfic Help [Closed]
Title: At the End of the Red String
Author: Seyensay
Reviewer: theeveranonymousone
Owner Rating: GTG
Status: Not yet Picked-up and credited.
Posted: 12.16.12
Your story is called what?!: ☠☠☠
Well, the title is grammatically correct. But as a reader, well, that kind of title doesn’t make my senses tingle with curiosity. Plus, I don’t think it is quite catchy. You know, like, what the hell does ‘at the end of the red string’ mean?
Well, the title is grammatically correct. But as a reader, well, that kind of title doesn’t make my senses tingle with curiosity. Plus, I don’t think it is quite catchy. You know, like, what the hell does ‘at the end of the red string’ mean?
So this Thing Right Here...That's a Description and a Foreword...? You've Got to be Kidding Me!: ☠☠☠☠☠
For your description, I got a little bit dizzy. It was like the words are spinning and I can’t comprehend what you’re trying to say. I have quite a few problems with your foreword. As a reader, it bores the hell out of me when I see a foreword that explains everything... I don’t care if you wrote the fanfic for a friend. Nobody cares about that. You don’t need to explain everything like how your friend’s bias is Jonghyun but since she’s on a Tao craze that’s why you gave Tao a role. PLEASE SKIP THE BORING PARTS ( The Part where you explained when and how the story was formed). SERIOUSLY. IT’S BORING. I also noticed that there are a few grammatical errors, please proofread everything first before posting anything.
I'm Ready To Stab Your Characters Now: ☠
Kaeji - Her character is quite interesting, though she’s quite dense for a girl. I like how she seems strong but the truth is, she is weak.
Jonghyun - He’s a bit aggressive for me here and I can imagine Jonghyun’s face and I think it’s a good thing. He’s also romantic and I liked it very much.
Note: I thought Tao was the lead role. It seems that it was Jonghyun huh? Please make it clear okay?
Are You Sure You Know What You're Doing?: ☠
I think it’s quite a good plot. But it’s quite cliche because of the part where girl meets boy, boy confesses to girl, girl falls in love to boy, and then they live happily ever after. You know that type of cliche?
Better Stay In School and Listen to your English Professor: ☠☠☠
You have quite a number of grammatical errors so please have someone proofread it. Your tenses are also quite confusing. If you use the past tense, use it in the whole chapter.
I Can See Why You Like Writing Better Than Arts: ☠☠☠☠☠
It doesn’t have any poster or background that’s why the page is quite boring. Please put on a poster or a background at least. The page is dull.
*YAAAWNNNN* Meter: ☠☠☠☠☠
It’s quite interesting especially the Chapter 2. It brought the excitement into the house. Continue writing stories about this. It’s pretty cute. :) Just learn how to proofread and edit a chapter.
VERDICT: ☠☠☠☠/☠☠☠☠☠
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