Ripped: The Only Thing Man Was Ever Good At
☠I'll Rip Your Story to Bits.☠ Reviews && Fanfic Help [Closed]
Author: alwyasinluv
Reviewer: dubumints
Posted: 12.10.12
Status: not yet picked-up and credited.
Your Story is Called What?!: ☠☠☠☠
The title is unique, yes. But it was also boring and something I would probably not click at all. It also didn't show just exactly what kind of genre your story is in.
So this Thing Right Here...That's a Description and a Foreword...? You've Got to be Kidding Me!: ☠☠☠☠
Truthfully, if you wanted to keep the mystery of your title, you shouldn't have given the answer in your very first line in your foreword.
Your description was interesting, especially the last part, but it was quite confusing.
Same goes for your foreword. Really interesting but some sentences threw me off. I have no idea if that's really part of the story or if you're being sarcastic.
I'm Ready To Stab Your Characters Now: ☠☠☠☠☠
Everything is muddled, like seriously. I kind of get Johnny's personality but at the end, I was all HUH?! WHAT?
Like, really.
Like, really.
What is that all about?
Are You Sure You Know What You're Doing?: ☠☠☠☠☠
The idea of your plot could've been interesting, although it'snot original anymore.
What surprised me though was the move you made. I thought that Maria and her death would still be part of the actual story and not just the foreword, but I guess not. It would've been better if you included Maria in the actual story.
Johnnie threatening the cop was also a headache for me too. I have no idea what he was talking about.
Who's the real killer then?
What surprised me though was the move you made. I thought that Maria and her death would still be part of the actual story and not just the foreword, but I guess not. It would've been better if you included Maria in the actual story.
Johnnie threatening the cop was also a headache for me too. I have no idea what he was talking about.
Who's the real killer then?
I really didn't understand anything, at all!
Where are the details? The precised scenes? The explanations?
It was not the kind of mystery that left us hanging because we were too overwhelmed, it was the kind of mystery that just left us with blank faces and a really confused head.
And that's bad.
Better Stay In School and Listen to that English Prof: ☠
Very little mistakes, almost unnoticeable, so I'm not reprimanding you here.
I Can See Why You Like Writing Better Than Arts: ☠☠☠☠
No posters and bg, nothing in particular that would've help set the mood of your fic.
*YAAAWNNNN* Meter: ☠☠☠
I wasn't bored even though it has no Kpop idols in it because I was too busy figuring it out...which I failed to do.
Honestly, I wouldn't recommend the story to others.
Honestly, I wouldn't recommend the story to others.
VERDICT: ☠☠☠☠☠ /☠☠☠☠☠
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