Jinyoung went to his apartment with a heavy heart, after the drive he calm himself. He cant alway break down if he think about Jay and Youngjae. They are a couple so its normal for them to have date night or whatever they do. But the thought of Yougjae kissing and giving his love to Jay really make Jinyoung restless. He used to be the one who give and also received Jaebeom love and attention. Jaebeom always prioritize Jinyoung needs first than anything even himself. He remember the time Jaebeom have his cold but he still come to the photoshoot site just to deliver Jinyoung's lunch that he make. Jinyoung take Jaebeom action as usual like its a normal thing for Jaebeom to take care.. Yes, Jinyoung admit he always take granted all Jaebeom action towards him. He such a bad boyfriend. Jaebeom never complain about it at all. Jaebeom is really a kind man who just smile when Jinyoung throw his unrational tantrum. Jinyoung knows Jaebeom is totatlly in love with him so he never done somethng to make Jaebeom feel appreciated. Hell they did not even celebrate their anniversary at all. Because Jinyoung never thinks its something that need to be celebrate and even sometimes he see the sadness from Jaebeom face, Jinyoung just ignore it.

Jinyoung open his refrigerator and took out all the soju that he has.

Jinyoung really feel bad about how he treat Jaebeom in the past. Now he regrets everything. After Jaebeom missing from Jinyoung live, Jinyoung keep thinking what he want to do to make everything right again. He still have a little faith that maybe Jay will remember Jinyoung. He always pray to the god to make his Jaebeom regain his memory. Jinyoung is not really a religious kind of man but after Jaebeom gone he keep praying to god so that he can find Jaebeom.

Jinyoung open his third bottle of soju. He keep drinking his soju. He want to forget everything. He want to forget the way Jay smile to Youngjae, the way Jay hold Youngjae waist when he kissed Youngjae. The way Youngjae blush whenever Jay said 'I LOVE YOU'. Jinyoung mind keep flashing all of Jay and Youngjae intimate action. He still cant erase their intimacy out of his head. Jinyoung feel suffocated. He want his Jaebeom and not his friend Jay.

Jinyoung phone ring, he pick up the phone without seeing who the caller is

"Hello?" Jinyoung slur

"Jinyoung? Hey man, what are you doing? Why your voice like that? Are you drunk?" Jackson

"Who is this?" jinyoung

"You are totally drunk its me Jackson." Jackson

"Jackson? But I dont want Jackson, I want Jaebeommie. where is my Jaebeommie.. Hey Jackson have you seen my Jaebeom? He has a broad shoulder and a very handsome face." Jinyoung

"How many bottle you drink?" Jackson

"I dont know, but I think Jaebeom will know. He knows everything bout me." Jinyoung laugh

"Jinyoung, its been a while that you like this. You tried not to get drunk everytime we drinks. What happen man?" Jackson

"Youngjae happen." Jinyoung

"Youngjae? Jaebeom's boyfriend?" Jackson

"NOO!! I AM JAEBEOM BOYFRIEND. JAEBEOM IS MINE. YOUNGJAE IS JAY'S BOYFRIEND. YOU KNOW JAY? MY FREND MY ING NEW FRIEND." Jinyoung shout

" man, dont scream. Jinyoung I know you are hurt and nobody there to listen to you right? You keep everything for yourself right? I am sorry I cant be there. We were busy here with runway project." Jackson

"No I dont care about you guys, I want my Jaebeom back. I dont want Jay. Jay is not Jaebeom. Jay only look at Youngjae while Jaebeom always see me. Me! Park Jinyoung. His lover. But you know what? This Park Jinyoung have ruin everything. He is the reasons Jaebeom left him. He is the reasons Jaebeom lost his memory. He is the reasons that Jaebeom become Jay." Jinyoung

"Jinyoung, not everything your fault. You are sick too. You just dont know about it." Jackson

"That is why! Why I dont know that I am freaking crazy? If I know it earlier maybe this will not happen." Jinyoung

"Jinyoung dont say like that, its not your fault. Things happen. You cant blame yourself. You know that right? Everything happen for a reason." Jackson

"But you dont understand, this THING that happen to me hurt my heart so much Jack. I cant keep acting that everything fine when my heart is in pain." Jinyoung

"I am so sorry Jinyoung, yes I dont understand what you feeling but Jinyoung. He is there right? You can sleep at night now right? You can feel his presence right? He is alive, you said to me that you dont want anything as long he is with you right?" Jackson

"I know but I want him as my boyfriend back not as my friend. I cant do this Jack, I feel like i want to die." Jinyoung

"How bout this? You come here for a while so you can clear your mind and if you still want him as a friend you just go back there." Jackson

"I can?" Jinyoung

"Of course you can." Jackson

"Okay, bye i need to pack now." Jinyoung

Jinyoung with his little mind keep trying to book a flight back to Seoul. He cant take it anymore. He need a break. He decided. He book an early flight for tomorrow. He just pack lightly because he know he will come back here soon and he did not need to worry about the apartment. He rent it for a whole  year so he can just leave and comeback.

The next day Jinyoung dont know how but he is now waiting for his flight. He did not call Jay at all. Jinyoung now is trying to sent Jay a message just want to inform Jay that he will be go back to Seoul for a while.

To : Jay

Morning, urm I know its sudden but I need to go to Seoul because of work. I will come back soon. Take care.

Jinyoung sent the message and waiting for Jay to reply his text. But after almost 30 minute, Jay still did not reply anything. Jinyoung heart broke a little. He now realize that he is just a nobody for Jay. How foolish. Jinyoung turn off his phone and just stay silent and waiting for his flight.

Meanwhile,

Jay is still sleeping. He did not realize about Jinyoung text. 

Youngjae come and watch his boyfriend. He just smile when he see Jay sleeping so soundly. He watch the notification from Jay phone. A text from Jinyoung? Youngjae took Jay phone and read the text. He smile when he sees the text. Youngjae make sure to delete the text and Jinyoung number from Jay phone and just act like usual. He give Jay a kiss on his forehead and went out.

Its been 3 days Jinyoung arrive at Seoul and he still did not get any reply text from Jay. He dont want to be petty but he still did not call Jay at all like at all. He just stay at his apartment watching movie and just relax. Jinyoung knows its ony 3 days but he already miss Jaebeom presence. He still dont think its a good idea to just run away but he cant bare the pain. Jinyoung still waiting and watch his screen phone. He have been stare at his phone for almost 30 minutes. He cant ask abot Jay at Bambam because he did not have Bambam's phone number. He  just ask about Jay phone number only. 

Urghh stupid me. Jinyoung grumble. He should just stay there at Jeju Island why is he here?But being here at his and Jaebeom apartment really relaxes his mind a little. Here he did not see any Youngjae and Jaebeom couple action. But he cant see Jaebeom also. Urgh why is this so hard? Can I just have Jay alone with me? I wonder what Jay is doing now. I bet he just think me as his friend only.

Jinyoung went to his bed and slump himself onto the bed. He tried to not think about Jaebeom at all but he cant do anything his mind has been full of Jaebeom the seconds he left from Jeju Island. Should I just go back there? I should right? Maybe next week. I just arrive and I missed my bed.

Jay dont know what happen but Jinyoung stop coming to see him. He wanted to call or text him but he just realize he did not have Jinyoung contact number. Its weird because he thought Jinyoung already give me his number but maybe I am wrong. Jay dont know how to feel when Jinyoung stop visits him. He did not feel sad at all like he is fine but maybe he feel weird because usually Jinyoung will greet him and asking him to make a delicious new recipe for him but now its feel empty. Ahh well maybe he go back to Seoul becouse of some emergency. 

Jay living his life just like before Jinyoung come to his life. He still open the cafe whenever he want. He still going out with his best best friend and also his boyfriend. He just do eveything as usual but he dont know why his heart still feel something missing. Maybe because he like the way Jinyoung keep trying to converse with Jay with Jay favourite topics or maybe he just like Jinyoung presence in his life but he knows Jinyoung has his own life or maybe he has someone waiting for him at Seoul. Jinyoung never told about his relationship. Jinyoung always told story about himself but not about his relationship.Sometime Jay realize the sadness from Jinyoung face and he dont know why but his heart also hurt when he see his friend sad face.

"Hyung," Bambam

"Yes Bam, whats up?" Jay

"Urmm why are you staring outside? Something interesting?" Bambam

"Nothing, just today its look likes its gonna rain." Jay said while smiling

"Here we go again. Please hyung dont play in the rain. You will get sick." Bambam

"How a bout just for a little while? Its been days since the rain and I missed the rain so much." Jay

"This hyung with his love for the rain. Aigoo are you crazy hyung?" Bambam

Jay just laugh.

And as Jay predicted the rain come down. Lightly at first and then its rain like cats and dogs.

"Hyung, you need to wait for Youngjae to come here if you want to go back home okay. Dont take your bicycle in this weather. I need to go somewhere before I go back home." Bambam

"Okay, just be careful okay.Its a heavy rain outside." Jay

"Okay hyung." Bambam said while opening his umbrella.

Jay just watching Bambam went inside the car.

He dont know what to feel right now. He is not bored but somethings not right and he odnt know why.

After a few minute Youngjae arrive with his beautiful smile. This sunshine of his really make a dull day become brighter

"Hyung, why are you staring?" Youngjae

"You are so pretty Youngjae ah." Jay

Youngjae just blushes.

"What with all the compliment babe?" Youngjae

"Just..." Jay

Jay dont know why he felt relived when he saw Youngaje.

"Whatever hyung." Youngjae said and leave Jay.

Jay just stare outside. He really love the rain. The sound of it, the smell of the rain and the comfy feeling that Jay feels whenever its raining.

"Beom ah."

Jay was shocked when he heard the voice. Where is the voice coming from? Jay search around the cafe but because of the rain there is not so many customer right now So who is the one that calling? And what is Beom? The voice sound familiar but Jay just shrug it off. Maybe he is just imagining things. He stood up and went to the kitchen area to try making a new recipe.

Its was late at night when Jay was jolted awake from his sleep. He was breathing rapidly. What was that? He cant remember what he is dreaming but in his dream he can hear someone calling him Beom. Why I felt so restless, its not even a nightmare? What happen? Jay stood from his bed and walk out from th room to drink water. On his way down he can heard some noises. They dont sleep yet? He just want to jumpscare his friend but when he heard Jinyoung name he stop.

"Jinyoung hyung is gone now." Bambam

"Yes we realize it. Thank god he is gone. I know he never truly want to help Jay hyung." Yugyeom

"Yugyeom, you cant say that. You see his determination right?" Bambam

"Bambam why are we even talking bout that guy?" Youngjae

"Youngjae, he is one of our friend." Bambam

"He is yours not mine" Youngjae said bitterly.

Why does Youngjae sound so angry at Jinyoung? Jay wonder.

"Bambam we are fine without Jinyong hyung come into our life. Why do you still bother about him? We can manage our life right?" Yugyeom

"Manage our life? Of course but what about Jay hyung? Cant you see that Jinyoung hyung can calm Jay hyung when he is in his post-episode? He just used his word. Yes we can do that too but its was so hard that we need to used sedative on hyung. I dont want that to happen to hyung." Bambam 

"But do you realize that the reasons we are here to make Jay hyung far away from Jinyoung hyung? Why we need to bring him in Jay hyung life when he is the reasons this all started." Yugyeom

What are they talking about? Jinyoung and me?

"Yugyeom right Bambam and now he is gone from here so whats the harm? There is nothing Jinyoung can change. We do this to Jay hyung. for his sake Bambam." Youngjae

"But cant you feel sorry to Jinyoung hyung? He is suffering too and its not his fault. He is also sick, you guys read the document that the doctor sent to us right? Why you still get angry at him. He ask for his forgiveness everyday." Bambam

"Bambam if you dont remember let me refresh your memory. Jinyoung hyung is the reasons that our hyung was bedridden for almost 3 days. 3 ing days and the worse thing is he never come to find for Jay. We waited and not even a single call. Why he did not come and see Jay hyung huh? This is the things that make me cant forget what he has done."Yuhyeom 

"We dont know what happen because you dont give a ing time fro him to explain. You just get angry all the time and always with the frown when he come here" Bambam

"Just let it go Bambam." Yugyeom

"Dont you guys ing forget that we also hide something from Jay hyung. We are not a saint either Yugyeom." Bambam said angrily and went to the stairs

Jay panicked he did not run back to his room he just stood there,

"Jay hyung?" Bambam eyes widen when he found Jay at the stairs

Keep calm Jay, keep acting like usual.

"You are not sleeping yet? What are you guys doing?" Jay

"Urm we just talk. How long have you been here hyung?' Bambam

"I just come down because my throat is dry." Jay said nonchalantly

"Ouh okay hyung, I am sleepy now. Good night." Bambam

Jay just give him a smile and touseld Bambam hair. Jay give a nod at Youngjae and Yugyeom and went to the kitchen.

Its morning already and Jay keep thinking about his friend conversation. What does it mean? Why they talk about Jinyoung? They never meet him right? But the way they talk about Jinyoung is the reason I am like this? The hell are they saying? I just cant think anything right now. But one things that I know, my friends that I always trust are hiding something from me.

Today Jay did not go to his cafe because he did not sleep last night and he is so tired and confuse with the new information that he got accidentally by eavesdropping his friend conversation. He told his friend that he is feeling under the weather so his friend just let him rest and they also said dont worry about the cafe they will handle it. Jay just stay at home. He decided to go through his box that full of his journal and also about his past that Bambam help writing.

The box is located inside the study room. He look around the study room but he cant manage to find the box. He asked Youngjae about it and Youngjae told him the box is at his room. Jaebeom come inside the room and took the box but unfortunately he stumble by the bed and the box also dropped and all the things scatter around the room.

Jay sigh, what a day. He collect all the things and when he want to take somethings under the bed he found some new box. Unopen box under Youngaje bed. What is this? Curiously Jay took the box out. A medium size box. No writing on the box. Can I open it? The box is full of dust and its make Jay think that Youngjae already forgotten about the box. Jay took his box and Youngjae mystery box inside his room.

First thing he does is he going through his own box first. Keep reading the notes that Bambam wrote about his past. He read and read and he cant find any name that related with Jinyoung. Its almost 1pm when he finally finished going through the box. Jay feel so tired but then he tiredness gone when he saw the mystery box. Should I open the box? Will Youngjae get angry at me if I open this box? He would not get mad right? After a few minutes contemplating between open the box or not. Jay decided to open the box.

The first thing he saw is a frame picture. A picture of family or families. There is 2 parents holding their baby boys. One look months older than the other baby. Jay just smile watching the frame. He took out the frame and looking adorely at the picture. Next there is an album photobook. He open the album and watch a pictures of 2 boys. One with the same clothes. One pictures with both boys crying. He look at all the picture and wonder if this is Youngjae family photobook but the boys does not look like Youngjae at all.

The next thing that he took out from the box literally make him froze. A picture of him and Jinyoung in a school uniforms. Wait, this is Jinyoung right? He does look differrent with a mushroom style hair. What the hell is happening here? He took another picture out from from the box, the picture look crumple but still can clearly see whats on it. A picture Jinyoung kissing his cheek. What? What is this? Why does Youngjae have all this thing? 

Jay cant think anything at all right now. He dont know what really happening now. He does not know how to feel at all. He just freeze.

TO BE CONTINUE