Nowadays, Jay feel so content with his life, he dont know how to describe it but he always feel full of happiness. Each day become more bright and its really make his mood brighter. He still remember what happen a week before when he had the episode, usually when he had those episode he will feel groggy and moody after he regain his concious but last week he just feel okay like okay. Jay know he does not regained his past memory but he feel something that make him want to live and not the usual thought about how Jay usually think himself as useless.

Maybe the changes happen because his new friend aka Park Jinyoung. Jay dont know what happen but after that day Jinyoung always come to visit him at the house or the cafe. He always told story about his life in Seoul, his work, his friends and even though Jay sometimes feel jealous about Jinyoung stories but he always eager to know what story Jinyoung will tell him the next time they meet. Jinyoung told his story with the same excitement everytime. He will make a few jokes sometimes its really a bad jokes that Jay just laugh because its so bad. Sometimes they just relax on the porch watching the sky in the evening and Jay did not say anything about their new activities but he enjoys it.

Sometimes Jay think Jinyoung is his long lost friend because the way the click together like they made for each other. The way Jinyoung listen to Jay talking about the camera lens that he want to try, Jay talk about it a few times but Jinyoung still listen to it like its the first time Jay told him. The way Jinyoug also love the rain like Jay. Yugyeom, Bambam and Youngjae hate rainy seasons and always tease Jay about his weirdness liking the rain. But with Jinyoung they watch the rain one time at the cafe and Jay feel the calmness. Jay always close his eyes whenever he feel relaxed. When Jay open his eyes he saw Jinyoung stare at him. Jinyoung just shake his head when Jay ask him.

The stare.

Jay realize its always happen, Jinyoung sometimes just stare blankly at him when they talk. I know its feel strange when someone stare at you without talking and all but Jay did not feel strange or annoyed. He just shrugged it off and keep their conversation. Sometimes when Jinyoung realize he stares at Jay he blush for a while and just laugh and Jinyoung laugh always make Jay laugh too. He feels serene whenever he is with Jinyoung.

But he knows Youngjae feels differently towards Jinyoung, both Youngjae and Yugyeom become still whenever Jinyoung come to visit. He realize that Youngjae become more clingy with him whenever Jinyoung come ( Jay like it) but sometime Jay feel the weird aura between Jinyoung and Youngjae. He love his boyfriend even there is some awkwardness earlier after the incident but he saw how much Youngjae love him and he have accepted that Youngjae is really his boyfriend even he did not regain his memory and  when he forgot about Youngjae, that guy still keep giving his undeniable love towards Jay. While with Yugyeom, he dont know what Jinyoung does to Yugyeom but Yugyeom always glare at Jinyoung at sometimes he always stick with Jay when Jinyoung come but later left them alone because Yugyeom feel bored listening to their conversation. Yugyeom always make some excuse to told Jinyoung that Jay is not at home or available even when Jay is free. Jay just chuckle when he saw Yugyeom act around Jinyoung. Maybe that younger male feel jealous toward Jinyoung.

1 MONTH AFTER THE INCIDENT

Today Jinyoung ask Jay to accompany him to buy some groceries and he want to buy books. Jay gladly accept the invitation. He always love to help when his friend in need.

Jinyoung arrived at Jay house around 7 am.

Youngjae the one who open the door. He did not invite Jinyoung inside but he close the door and make a face a really annoyed face.

"Why did you always ask for Jay huh?" Youngjae

"What do you mean?" Jinyoung

"Can you stop acting like an innocent guy?" Youngjae

"Youngjae I did not come here to argue with you." Jinyoung

"You always come here and the cafe  to talk with Jay hyung and now you want to bring hyung for a groceries shopping? Cant you do it alone?" Youngjae

"We just going to the nearest market." Jinyoung

"Today is supposedly our day to be together just for us two. But now he told me that he is sorry and we will go somewhere at night because he want to accompany you." Youngjae said bitterly

"I am sorry, i dont know about that." Jinyoung

"You said you want to be his friend only but why I feel like you want to take him away from me? Remember Jinyoung he is my boyfriend. You cant always have my boyfriend attention 24/7." Youngjae hissed.

"Youngjae I did not mean it like that." Jinyoung

"Just stopp Jinyoung. When will you go back to Seoul? When will you keave our life huh?" Youngjae

Jinyoung feel his heart tug when he heard Youngjae words.

"What are you saying Youngjae? What do you mean by that?" Jinyoung

"You cant always be here forever Jinyoung, you have your life you have a job. Someday you will go from here and I hope it soon." Youngjae

"I want to be in Jay life even as a friend. I will not leave him sooner or later. You cant make me." Jinyoung

"Even as a friend? What? You want to be more that his friend? Please realize who you are. You are just his past and because of me agreeing with Bambam's plan you can see Jay hyung. Dont have any idea to be more than his friend. He is mine." Youngjae

"I know and I realize that Youngjae, i did not have any intention to take Jay from you but remember he was mine first and if I want I can make him mine" Jinyoung

"You threaten me? You cant make him yours. He is in love with me." Youngjae

"You sure?" Jinyoung

Before Youngjae want to speak the door open.

"You here Jinyoung? Babe why didn't you call me?" Jay

"He just arrive babe." Youngjae

"Ouh, ready to go?" Jay

"Yup." Jinyoung

They want to walk away when Youngjae take Jay wrist and give him a long deep kiss. Jinyoung just rolled his eye.

"What was that for?" Jay

"Just...Dont forget about tonight." Youngjae

"I will not, bye. Love you." Jay said while giving a kiss on Youngjae forehead

Jinyoung saw all the intimate scene in front of him. He ignore all the content look from Youngjae face. He went and  wait Jay inside his car (rent car).

On their way to the market, there is a silent between Jay and Jinyoung. Jinyoung did not say any words because he is still feel jealous towards the intimacy between Youngjae and Jay while Jay liking the silent he did not feel any awkwardness. He just look outside the window.

But after a while Jinyoung ask "So I dont know what really happen that you lost your memory. Care to share the story?" Jinyoung

Jay still keep the silent

"Or is it too early to ask?" Jinyoung

Jay took a deep sigh

"No its not, I just. Its quite heard to tell strangers about what happen to you, you know what I mean?" Jay

"Stranger? you still think of me as a stranger? I thought we already become friend? You still dont want to be my friends after all the time we spent together? Ouch Jay, you hurt my little heart." Jinyoung said teasingly.

"Stop being over dramatic Jinyoung." Jay chuckle

"Dramatic is my middle name if you want to know." Jinyoung

"I thought your middle name is petty?" Jay

"Seriously? Jay..So what  happen?" Jinyoung

"Do you believe me when I said I am not sure either?" Jay

"What do you mean? What Bambam told you?" Jinyoung

"He just said that I got into an accident." Jay

"What kind of accident?" Jinyoung

"I dont know, he did not tell me. The three of them just said I got into accident but i dont know if I had an accident with car, motorcycle or falling from the stairs. I dont know and everytime I ask they just said the same thing every time so I just stop asking." Jay

"Did you mean that they hide something from you?" Jinyoung

"I seriously dont know. When I ask about it they just dont want to tell me the truth." Jay

"But you already remember all your past memories right?" Jinyoung

"I dont know about that because I feel like I remembered everything, but they always ask if I remember something. But I dont know what that thing is. They dont want to tell me at all so I just think i already regain my memory. But there is something missing and I seriously dont know what is." Jay

Jinyoung felt sad and sorry when he heard Jay express his thought. Jinyoung want to know what secret that they hide from Jay. Bambam already told Jinyoung that they hide something from Jay because he dont want to make Jay sad and Jinyoung did not pry any longer about the topic. But seeing Jay like this he want to help Jay.

"I hope eveything will be okay Jay, dont worry about it." Jinyoung

They arrived at the market. Jinyoung has already write a list of thing he need to buy. They walk around the market even though it still early but the market already full with people. Jay saw Jinyoung keep getting bump with other people so he took Jinyoung hand and wrap his arm around Jinyoung shoulder/ Jinyoung give him a puzzle look

"I dont want you to get lost." Jay

Jinyoung dont know if Jay realize but Jinyoung face is so hot and he sure his face is red right now. Jinyoung just hope Jay did not realize his hearbeat that beating so fast. Jinyoung love the way Jay grab his shoulder and he like the warmness from Jay hand.

They keep in that position until they get all the things for Jinyoung and Jay let Jinyoung go to help him grab his plastic bag full of vegetables. Jinyoung felt a little sad about the lost warm from Jay hand.

"Got everything?" Jay

Jinyoung put his things down and read the list again.

"Yup eveything here. So we can go to the bookstore that you recommend last week." Jinyoung

"Okay lets." Jay

They arrived at the bookstore after 20 minutes ride

"I always buy my book here."Jay said while opening the door

"Welcome! Gasp, you are here again?" A girl around 18 years old greet them

"Yes, Shin ah how are you?" Jay

"You remember my name?" Shin said with a blush

"Silly you, you wear a name tag today but yeah of course I remember a cute girl name." Jay smile

A natural flirt, Jinyoung think and smile

"Who is this? Wait is this your boyfriend?" Shin

"Hahahahha, no this is not Youngjae this is my new friend Jinyoung." Jay

Jinyoung smile fade when he heard Jay words. Stop being like this Jinyoung, you need to face the reality. Youngjae is Jay boyfriend not you stop thinking he was your Jaebeom. Jinyoung tried to smile again

"So what kind of book you want to buy?" Shin

"Do you have some angsty heartbroken book about relationship?" Jinyoung

"Whoa, you like that kind of book? Jay he like the genre that you love too." Shin shout at Jay who is browsing at the bookshelves

"Really?" Jay just chuckle

"So I introduce to Jay a novel once time ago and he really love it. Wait I get the book." Shin walk away  at the back of the bookstore

Jinyoung just watch Jay reading the summary from the book that he pick. Jay wrinkle his eyebrows while focusing. Jinyoung missed the sight when Jaebeom read at the bed usually laying down and he will told Jinyoung if the book is worth to read again asked Jinyoung to read so they can discussed about it.

"He is handsome right? I actually have a crush on him but unfortunately he is gay and he loved his boyfriend dearly." Shin interupt Jinyoung

"Yes, I know his boyfriend." Jinyoung

"I never meet this Youngjae so I thought you are his boyfriend. The way Jay look at you like you are someone precious for him." Shin said nonchalantly

"Really?" Jinyoung look suprised

"Yes, so sorry about earlier. I thought you are Youngjae." Shin

"Nevermind, so where is the book?" Jinyoung

"This..Its called Untitled and this book dont have any summary. Its quite a different type not like usual book. The writers wrote 2 different ending for the story and he wrote a sad ending and a happy ending but to make it more mysteriously he only published the happy ending limited copy only. Its just realease last 2 month and Jay already bought 5 copy of the book." Shin

"5? Its not the same story line?" Jinyoung

"No, writer said he doing 2 type of story line but its the same character its like the parallel universe. 2 type of story line 2 type of ending. Jay already find 2 type of story line but with the same ending so he want to tried the find the happy ending one. Unfortunately one of the happy ending have been found by other people and we can read it online but the other one still not found. So interested?" Shin

"Yes I am, give me 3 copy of that book." Jinyoung

"You are really like Jay hahahahaha, btw both of you look good together that people will assume you guys as a couple." Shin

Jinyoung just smile he always heard the comment from the vendor at the market who said they look like a married couple. He like it and he like the way Jay just keep smiling at the ahjumma, he did not said anything he just smile and nod. Ohhh how Jinyoung wish they can be a married couple. He dream about hetting married with Jaebeom since he was 16 years old teenagers. He used to think about the theme, their colour the place that they will held their wedding. Such a silly innocent thought.

But now he just wish that he can be with Jay even if as a friend.

"Nah, his boyfriend is more good looking than me." Jinyoung

"Yeah I can guess like that handsome Jay oppa must have a really good looking man as a partner." Shin

"So I am not qualified?" Jinyoung

"Qualified about what?" Jay

"This friend of yours wannaaa..." Shin get interupt by Jinyoung

"Nothing, do you found anything interested?" Jinyoung

"Nah, I still did not start the last book that I buy." Jay

"Okay Shin, only this book. Pack it for me please." Jinyoung

"Okay coming up at ya!!" Shin said loudly

After they finished buying all the things. Jinyoung drop Jay at his house.

"Do you want to come in?" Jay

"Nah, I dont think so dont you have a date with Youngjae?" Jinyoung

"Yup, but its still early. I have plan to give him a suprise." Jay

"Suprise? What is it." Jinyoung

"Its a secrets." Jay smirk

"Urghhh I hope you wear the ." Jinyoung

"But Youngjae like it raw." Jay tease

"Stop it Jay Park! That is so gross, I am a single guy why do you want to make me suffer?" Jinyoung whine while cover his ears

Jay just laugh. He like to tease Jinyoung because Jinyoung reaction is always funny

Even though Jinyoung look happy right now, he was just pretending. Jinyoung heart is hurting like something been poking his heart with a knife. He still feels like everytime Jay mention Youngjae his heart will slowly die. Jinyoung now he is being dramatic but the pain that he feel really make him want to die.

"I need to go now! Have fun." Jinyoung

"Okay, drive carefully!!" Jay

JInyoung drive away but he did not drive to his apartment. He drive and drive and just drive while crying. He cant believe his heart still can cope with all that happen right now. He stop the car when his crying become louder and heavier. He cant think why he do this. Jinyoung just want to found Jaebeom his lover and try to amend his relationship but now he stuck with a lover who lost his memory of their relationship and also has a boyfriend. He did not sign up for this . Even though now he can see Jay every time when he wanted but the pain is deeper that the last 2 years when he still losing his lover. The pain double when now his lover sees him as a friend only and not as a lover. Jinyoung sobs loudly. He want his Jaebeom back he dont want Jay. He want Jaebeom his childhood friend and aslo his soulmates. They suppose to be happy until they become old but because of his action he loses evrything.

Because of his stupid action. Jinyoung realize its all his mistake, if he knows his illness earlier they would not be like this right? But things already happen, he cant turn back time, he need to face the reality. Jinyoung just hope that Jay will stay happy because when Jay Park happy Park Jinyoung also happy.

TO BE CONTINUE