Scared
Secret Admirer
"_________! I heard Big Bang is here!" Karina gushed.
"Yeah... and?"
I just got to our favorite spot from classes, and that's the first thing I hear from my friends.
"Then that means Youngbae's here!"
"I already saw them, and he's not with them," I sat down beside Yana.
"WHAT?! HOW CAN IT BE JUST THE FOUR OF THEM?!" Karina exclaimed.
"Chill, girl," I laughed. "I know you're his fan and all, but why should it matter? Maybe he's in some hectic schedule or something, not that I would know." Okay, hearing myself say that hurt. Quite a lot, actually. It's been a long while since we've talked. And yes, I'm still scared to look at that DM for reasons I do not know.
"Don't tell me you're still fighting?" Holly raised her eyebrow at me. When I didn't answer she frowned, "How long has it been? You have to go and talk to him already!"
"Is it my fault I'm too scared to know what he told me?" I frowned. "He's never called me that before, and I don't know if he's said something that will hurt me more. I'd rather not read it, honestly."
"But when will you two make up and be friends again?"
"When..." I thought about it for a while. "When I'm not afraid anymore?"
"And when will that be?" Yana frowned. "You have to stop being so afraid, _________. If you'll just be afraid, what will happen? Do you wanna lose him forever?" I shook my head. NO I DON'T WANT THAT. "See? so stop being afraid and take the plunge! You'll feel better, I promise."
"Not now, though," I shook my head. "Not when the other members are still here."
"Then promise me: when they go back to Korea, you will look at that DM, okay?" I nodded, and even pinky sweared with the three of them.
"_________!" We all turned and saw Jiyong -- wearing a disguise -- walking toward us. "Let's go?"
"Where?" I blinked.
"To go out, obviously," he laughed.
So that's how I found myself: in the car with Jiyong and the driver, them taking me somewhere I don't know. Not that I mind, really, since it's Jiyong.
"So~" Jiyong whistled and leaned back in his seat, "Have you spoken with my best friend yet?"
"No," I awkwardly looked away. Jiyong's voice raised an octave, "WHY NOT?!"
"Same reason," I mumbled, then faced him. "Do you expect me to easily look at it?"
"Well," Jiyong blinked, "yeah."
"I can't, okay? I don't know why, honestly," I leaned back on the car seat and blinked. "Something tells me I shouldn't read it. Not now."
"Then you'll just wait?" I nodded. "Until when?"
"Molla," I sighed. "Something tells me I shouldn't read it right now, so I'm not. It gets pretty tempting, but then the voice inside me screams for me not to read it, so I don't."
"Eoddae?" Jiyong chuckled. "How does the voice inside you scream?"
"It's like... 'Andwae~ Don't read it~'," I said in a fail child's aegyo voice, complete with the high pitch. We looked at each other and laughed.
"I'm so gullible!"
"Yes you are," Jiyong continued to laugh.
We continued to laugh for a few minutes and then got enveloped in a pretty comfortable silence. And then I thought about him again. Why does that little voice inside me tell me not to read that DM yet? And I wonder where he is right now...
"Jiyong-ah..."
"Hm?" he looked at me.
"Where is he? Your best friend?" He blinked as I spoke, "You, Seunghyun, Seungri, and Daesung are here, and I've already seen the four of you. But him I haven't seen yet. Is he here?"
"Are you worried about him?" Jiyong grinned.
"What happened doesn't make me like him any less, Kwon Jiyong," I frowned.
"SO YOU LIKE HIM?!" Jiyong bounced in his seat like a little kid who's being offered candy.
"That's old news, Kwon Jiyong," I laughed.
The two of us laughed and all, until we arrived at the mall, where Jiyong is supposedly taking me on a date at.
"So, are you ready to have a haircut and get your nails done?" Jiyong smiled.
...
"WHAT?!"
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