The last two days of the week of First Snow weren’t the most pleasant days. But I didn’t dare to show it and smiled it all away. I had to be supportive. I didn’t want him to worry about me.

We spent Kikwang’s free day enjoying every single festivity we could at the markets and attended the plays and new events that went on. We didn’t get home until late.

The following day had been less fun.

The announcement was made early that morning, right after the first parade. The entire Kingdom gathered on the palace grounds. All of us were dressed up. Even the royal Earth family dressed up. Our father gave the announcement, followed by a speech about how it was the strengthening bond of a close friendship between the two nations.

The crowd was overjoyed by the announcement. Prince Doojoon and Kikwang went down to greet and speak with the people. I wasn’t able to see him that day until the end of the day, during the large feast, held at the end of First Snow.

After that day, things were different.

Kikwang no longer attended our lectures. He was gone all day at his own lectures and by the end of the day he was exhausted. He always had something to do.

I hardly saw him.

He was either at lecture or some kind of lesson concerning earthly custom and etiquette. On top of that he went to lectures with Ryeowook to continue with what YeEun and I learned. So, we spent the nights in each other’s rooms.

He’d rant, tell me what he learned (and what he thought about it), or sometimes we didn’t talk about anything, he’d just go straight to sleep.

We spoke about anything and everything, except for the topic of marriage. It was as if it were an unspoken rule between us, that we silently agreed on, not wanting to ruin the last moments with each other…in fear that if we mentioned it…it would become real.

“I can’t believe they made me cram all that information about the kingdom in two weeks.” Kikwang grumbled. “I felt as if my head was going to explode at any minute. He groaned, holding his head. We were in the back of the palace on the snow-covered courtyard. It was the day before Kikwang had to leave.

I was at out on the bench, leaning against the brick wall of one of the pavilions, while Kikwang was sprawled on the snow-blanketed ground. I chuckled, “Did you actually have to study?”

He scoffed, “Who has time to study when you’re taking lectures on two different Kingdoms? And then learning their traditions and mannerisms afterwards?” He retorted. “YeEun would’ve enjoyed that.” I chuckled slightly. “I know. That’s why I bragged to her about it.” He remarked. I shook my head.

“It was all a waste of time. I already know what there is to know.” he stated. I raised an eyebrow at this. “Really?”

“Of course! I ‘ve been to the Earth Kingdom before. It’s huge, the weather is always nice, and everyone is friendly.” He stated. I could barely hold back a headshake and eyeroll. “I’m sure there’s more to the Kingdom than that Kik. What about the history?” I asked.

“History, shmistory. We repeat it anyway.” He grumbled.

“Kikwang.”

“I know other stuff. Like how agriculture is one of their largest source of income. They have a lot of jewels hidden in their land. They probably have the most unique dialect out of all the kingdoms. As soon as they speak you know they’re from the Earth Kingdom. They’re known for their architecture and extravagant parties, but they’re also very traditional. And they are one of the most fashionable kingdoms alongside the Sunshine kingdom.” He explained.

“See Jae? I knew all this before taking those lectures. I know what there is to know about each Kingdom. The sunshine Kingdom is the party kingdom, they celebrate everything. The water kingdom is the chill kingdom, you go there to relax and cleanse yourself in their waters. Their beaches are the best.”

“The Air kingdom is the old man kingdom. It’s one of the oldest Kingdoms and most traditional one. Pretty much monks live there. I would go there to take the best nap in the world. The celestial kingdom and Fertility Kingdoms are the mysterious kingdoms. They’re the two oldest Kingdoms and have been around for centuries, but they’re small and to themselves.” He went on.

He paused for a second to think, “Our Kingdom is apparently the cute, pure, delicate Kingdom. We aren’t seen as strong because of our element and everyone thinks we’re nice and cutesy. But also, elegant and proper.” He said in disgust. I chuckled, “You don’t like that?” “Not when people treat me like I’m weak and high maintenance.” He sneered. I let out a laugh, “You are kind of high maintenance though.” I told him. “Look who’s talking.” He scoffed. I stuck my tongue at him, only for him to do the same.

“Anyway, what Kingdom was I onto next?” he tapped his chin, then his eyes lit up as he sat up in the snow. “The fire kingdom. They’re the coolest kingdom.” He said excitedly. I was thrown off by the compliment and contradiction of words. “The coolest kingdom? But aren’t they dangerous and sort of our enemy?” I questioned.

“Enemy with benefits. But them being dangerous is what makes them cool.” He brushed off. I furrowed my brow. “Have you been there?” I asked. “No. but I’ve seen them around. They have the hottest girls and guys, and I’m not talking about their element either.” He winked. “they’re confident and strong. And they have this super cool demeanor about them. And they’re also excellent skilled fighters.” He explained. “See Jae? I know things.”

I nodded, impressed, but not surprised. He’s traveled to almost every kingdom. He attended some trips with Hyungseung since he was the second eldest and even helped Hyungseung with some diplomatic work when they traveled.

I looked out at the courtyard. I wondered what it would be like….to travel and see the different cultures of each nation. Everyone is different, but for me everyone was the same. If I wasn’t sick, would I have been able to travel with Kikwang and Hyungseung? Would I have been able to meet more people and made friends? Feel apart? “Kikwang, do you think I’m a ghost? I suddenly asked, thinking about the Daehyun guy’s words.

“B-Bwoh?!” Kikwang was thrown off by my question. “A ghost?” He repeated. I nodded. “No one knows who I am.”

“People know who you are. Maybe not people outside the kingdom but even your mom said that she’s heard other people speak about how attractive you are. Remember?” He reminded with a wink. “Yeah, but I’m hidden from the world and the world is hidden from me.” I said, feeling myself frown at the thought. “Youngjae you’re not a ghost.” The elder urged. I just looked at him. “If you were a ghost, you’d be dead.”

I blinked, his words hitting me hard. I hadn’t thought of it that way. “I-I guess.” Was all I could say. He gave me a small smile, “Exactly, so don’t think you’re a ghost, ever. Even though ghosts are pretty cool.” He plopped back into the snow. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head, “You should get out of the snow, you’ll get sick.”

“Mm, no. I want to enjoy the snow.” He hummed, closing his eyes. “What if you get sick?” “Then let me get sick. Maybe they’ll postpone the trip.” He said.

Silence fell between us as I thought to myself. Then I stood from my seat and walked out into the snow. “Then let me lay with you.” I finally said. He didn’t say anything but peaked one eye open, watching me.

I laid on the other side of him, the top of my head barely touching the top of his. I shivered at the icy contact, but my body immediately relaxed as the snow began to soften. My body sinking into the snow. I closed my eyes. “This feels nice.” I said. The snow began to feel warm against my body, my fertile abilities kicking in.

“We used to do this when we were kids.” He reminded. I slowly reopened my eyes at the memory. We used to come out and just lay in the snow and see how far we could sink in. But we’d gotten caught one day and all the servants freaked out, afraid that I was going to get sink. So, I wasn’t allowed to come out again…not without supervision. I looked up at the sky. Thank you Kikwang, for letting me live.

We stayed in the courtyard for a few more minutes before deciding to leave before we got caught. Then for the rest of the day Kikwang was summoned to prepare for tomorrow’s trip, leaving me alone again. I was left wandering the castle, which became a habit within the last few days.

For the past few days I started to feel lonely. It was as if Kikwang had already left and now he was just a strong figment of my imagination with an expiration date. I’ve never felt lonely before. Should I have always felt this way?

I found myself wondering into the furthest left wing of the castle, where Kikwang’s mother’s room used to be. It was vacant but kept tidy. No one really comes around here, except for Kikwang and I every now and then. No one was uses the room either. The room is set for the highest ranked concubine, but after Ms. Lee disappeared there hasn’t been another.

In fact, after her disappearance all of the concubine’s lost their title and there hasn’t been any since. Queen Jang obviously had something to do with it, but I believe father did it to cover up and make up for all the trouble that was caused because of his actions.

I walked over to the large window across the bedroom. It had the best view of the courtyard. However, to my surprise there was a man standing there. It was the pretty man that spoke with my father.

“Oh, hello there. Am I in your way?” He spotted me before I could have a second to think about running away. His voice was gentle and soothing, but there was something delicate behind it. “A-Ani, I was just walking around.” I said, confused as to why I stuttered. He hummed, that warm smile of his pressed against his lips, “The decorations and art here are really nice. I’ve walked around just observing the walls and stature. Everything is so intricate and delicate.” He complimented, lining his fingers against the wall.

I slowly nodded, “Everything was hand crafted. The art and designs along the wall.” I said unconsciously. This made his small smile grow a little, “Your people continue to impress me.”

He looked at me, his sharp eyes observing me. “I saw you earlier with the Prince. Are you two close?” He suddenly asked. I stood there for a second. He didn’t know who I was. I wasn’t wearing any of my royal garments, but he didn’t know who I was. “Yes, we’re very close.” I answered.

He nodded, looking back out the window. “Friends are good. You should cherish them while you can. Especially the good ones, those are hard to find.” He advised. I didn’t understand why he was talking to me, but I didn’t mind. In fact, it felt kind of good.

I subconsciously let out a sigh at his words. The reality starting to sink in. he glanced at me. “something bothering you?” He asked, slightly catching me off guard. “I-Is it obvious?” I questioned. He let out a dry chuckle before giving me a head nod. “Yeh.” I admitted. “Do you want to talk about it?” he offered.

I looked at him ins surprise, thrown off by the sudden offer. I was unsure as to why he would care or want to know.

The man noticed this and gave me an assuring smile, “It’s not good to hold things in. You don’t have to tell me. I was just offering in case you didn’t have anyone else to speak to.”

“I’m afraid.” I confessed, still not sure as to why I was telling him this. But for some strange reason, I felt the need to. I felt strangely comfortable with him. There was something about his presence that was almost alluring. “I feel like I’m losing something precious to me, and that my life is going to change once it’s gone. And I’m afraid of what’s going to happen, that I may lose my life that I was living.” I finished, feeling my eyes sting.

The man furrowed his brow, taking in my words. Silence fell between us before he spoke again, “You must be hurting.” He finally said, his voice calm and soothing. I nodded, looking away so he wouldn’t see my glossy eyes.

“It’s okay to be afraid.” He said, “Change is scary, especially when we know it will change our lives, but we can make it into a good thing…” He began. “Change is actually a good thing. It’s the time in our life that tells us that it’s time to grow and enter the next chapter.”

I slowly looked back at him, listening intently to his words, “I don’t know your situation. But it could be time to be separated from that precious th