Feels Like
The Third Snow Prince*Daehyun’s POV*
I knocked on Youngjae’s bedroom door. However, there was no response. I knocked again only to receive the same result.
I turned the handle and pushed open the door. “Young…” The bedroom was empty. The bed was made neat and everything in its place.
“Where could he have gone?” I closed the door and searched for him. I asked all the servants but none of them knew. Worry tugged at the back of my mind. I silently prayed that he was okay.
“Sunghak!” I called, spotting him on the other side of the hall. The elder stopped in his tracks, turning around.
“Free from your lessons, huh?” I teased, catching up to him, seeing the books in his hands. “I’m too old for lessons.” He grumbled. “Have you seen Youngjae?” I asked.
“Who?” He questioned.
I frowned, “The snow prince.” I said, earning a frown from him. “Why would I know where that pathetic prince is?” he scoffed.
“You shouldn’t call him pathetic. He’s stronger than you think.” I said. “What does it matter what he is? He’s from the snow kingdom.” He said. “He didn’t do anything wrong.” I argued.
Sunghak raised an eyebrow at this. “Well if you think he’s so innocent then why don’t you marry him instead, huh?”
“I-…forget it.” I walked off continuing my search.
I spotted Youngjae’s head servant walking in my direction.
“Prince Daehyun.” He bowed when he saw me. “Where’s Youngjae?” I asked him. “He’s in the library, your highness.” He answered. The library? “Why aren’t you with him?” I frowned. “H-He asked to be alone.” Yoseob said. “Don’t leave him by himself.” I ordered him.
“But he-,”
“Even if he asks you to leave, then leave the room but stay by the door.” I said.
“But I would not be respecting his wishes.” He said.
“And say you respect his wishes and then something happens to him. Then what?” I challenged a bit irritated. “Yes, your highness. I understand. I will do that.” He gave in.
I nodded before heading to the library.
I carefully opened the door to the library and sure enough he young snow prince was sat at a table piled with books. A smile crept on my face at the sight. His brows were knitted together in deep focus, as they always did when he learns about something new or anything he finds interesting.
I entered the room, silently closing the door behind me. He didn’t notice me. He was too deep in his thoughts.
I quietly walked to his table and sat down in the seat across from him. I held back the urge to laugh, seeing that he still hadn’t noticed me. “What are you thinking about?” I finally said. The younger jumped out of his thoughts.
“Daehyun!” he gasped with a smile. “I thought…I thought you were in trouble.” He said.
“What? Why would I be in trouble?” I asked.
“F-For standing up for me back there. I hadn’t seen you in days.” He said.
I laughed, “No. I had been backed up with lessons, since I was gone for a few months.”
“Oh.” Was all he said. “If you wanted to see me, then why didn’t you just look for me?” I said. “I did, but I…” He paused. “Never mind.” He quickly changed his mind.
I raised an eyebrow noticing the change but didn’t push the issue. “Looks like you’ve been doing some studying too.” I remarked, referring to his books.
“Jaejoong has been teaching me more about fertile males and my ability.” He said excitedly. I grunted at the sound of his name. “Why do you need him to teach you? Don’t you already know that stuff?”
“Not really. They didn’t teach me everything back home.” He confessed.
I raised another eyebrow, finding the new information strange. Why wouldn’t they teach him everything? “I’ve learned a lot already. Jaejoong knows a lot too since he’s a…since he’s from the fertility kingdom. He gave me some books to read. So, I came in here to read them, but I found some books on the celestial kingdom and I started reading them too. It’s a really strange kingdom.” He said more in thought.
“Is that what you were thinking about earlier?” I asked.
“Huh?”
“When I came in, you were thinking hard and didn’t even see me come.” I said almost teasingly.
“Oh…that. No, I was…I was thinking about something else.” He said, getting lost in thought again. I watched him carefully. “I was wondering why everyone has such a sad life.” His brow began to scrunch.
“What?”
“It’s not fair.” He said looking at me. “It’s not fair that everyone is suffering. My mother couldn’t have the family she wanted and lives alone in the snow kingdom far away from her home. Kikwang can’t find his mother. You lost your mo-…Queen Jung because of my family.” He frowned. My eyes slightly widened at the last part. “What about you?” I said.
“What about me?”
“You forgot to include yourself.”
He furrowed his brow, “I’m not suffering. I’ve lived longer than I was supposed to, and I made a lot more friends. And I traveled outside the snow kingdom. I never thought I’d be able to experience those things.” He smiled a little to himself.
I looked at him a bit surprised, “What about the times you were hurt? The times people made you cry? You’re curse?”
“What about it? All those things hurt but later on I always feel better and if living means I have to feel that hurt then I’ll hurt as much as I can. But I don’t think I’m suffering.” He said.
I stared at him, “You’re strange.” I finally said. He smiled at this, “And so are you.” He laughed. I cracked a smile but before I could respond, something caught my eye. “What’s this?” I asked, reaching over to grab the book. I laughed when I saw what the book was about. The two dragon lovers. “You read this stuff?” I laughed.
“Y-Yeh. Kyungsoo was telling me about it, so I wanted to read the story for myself.” He said. I looked to see that he was blushing. “It’s a good story.” He muttered. I laughed a little, “I guess it’s alright.” I shrugged.
“Do you not like it?” He asked. “I don’t know. It’s nothing amazing. They didn’t need each other to survive. They could’ve stayed hidden and used their inner fire to stay warm throughout the winter.” I said. “I can relate to it. I depended on people that loved me to stay alive. But I won’t be able to ever experience a love like that, so it’s nice to read it.” He gave a soft smile. “Why not?” I asked. “Because...l may die soon.” He said.
I frowned, “You’re not going to die.”
He looked at me surprised.
“Do you want to die?” I challenged.
He shook his head.
“Then you won’t. Now, do you want to experience what those dragons experienced?” I moved on.
He nodded.
“Then your wish is my command.” I said.
He stared at me in shock. “Huh? How are you going to do that?” He asked. “Don’t worry about it. Just be ready tonight.” I winked, standing up. His eyes lit up. “Are we going out again?” he asked. I shrugged. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” With that I left the library.
Once the door shut, I let out a long sigh. What the heck am I going to do? I just said that to prove a point and make him feel better. I had no idea what I was going to do and Youngjae has his hopes up. I don’t want to disappoint him. I have to come up with something. But, what do lovers do?
I walked away from the library doors and turned down the hall until I reached my father’s study. I pushed open the door without bothering to knock. He was sat at his large desk, flipping through paper work. He didn’t look up, unbothered by my intrusion.
I flopped down in one of the cushioned seats across from him. I let out another long sigh. “What’s up with you?” He asked, not once looking up from his work. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I felt a little embarrassed about what I was going to ask. It was never anything I thought about, nor was it anything I cared for. And it definitely wasn’t something I imagined talking to my dad about.
He looked up from his work when I didn’t answer. “What is it?” He asked again.
I closed my mouth, clearing my throat. He raised an eyebrow at this. “What do lovers do?” I finally asked. There was no going back.
He paused, not expecting the question. “Why?” He questioned.
“I just want to know.” I said, playing nonchalant.
He studied me for a little bit. “You do whatever you want to do.” He said, getting back to his work. I frowned, for once that didn’t help. “What do they do? Like what kind of special things do they do that’s different than friends?” I tried again, but the more I spoke the warmer my body felt.
He put down his pen and looked at me. “Do you like someone?” He finally asked.
My insides burned at the question, the urge to cough rising within me. Why am I feeling so embarrassed? “Nooo…It’s for a lesson.” I answered.
He scoffed, “There’s no lesson like that.”
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