C h a p t e r   42

A  e    S  o  o

I shake my head in repeat. He doesn’t have to know. Anything but that. But now Sehun knows. 

“Ae Ryu!” Auntie glared at Ae Ryu for saying his words but I can tell that he doesn’t care. 

“I told you that this was a bad idea. I told you it’s not good to keep things! Now you’re getting worse each day!”

“...Leave.” I hear a whisper. I look up at Sehun and he looks lost. 

“Sehun-“

“JUST LEAVE PLEASE! LEAVE US.” Auntie stood from her seat and took my brother with her as they leave the room. When we’re alone, Sehun started to hug me tight but he’s not talking. 

“Sehun.”

“I’m not going to do what you think I’m going to do.” I grip on his clothes forcing myself to listen on what he’s going to say. “I told you, I’m going to protect you and our child so hold on with me Ae Soo okay?” I nod as I sob and hold on to him even more. 

“Promise me you won’t go back on your word?”

He releases me a bit and kisses my temple as he gives me a smile. “My life is yours.”

₰  ₰  ₰  ₰  ₰  ₰

I think I slept for a bit after all that crying and I find myself lying next to Sehun’s arms. When I look up at him, I realized that he just woke up too and he’s staring down at me. “Did I wake you up?” I asked and held his cheek. 

“Nope.”

“I see. You should sleep more.”

“I’m good.”

“Oh, oka-“ I gasp after feeling something on my stomach. Sehun seemed to be alarmed with my reaction and sat upright.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I think I just..” I was still surprised with what I felt just now and it’s a first that I felt that. “I think I just felt our baby’s kick?” I feel so strange. Am I supposed to feel that already? But it isn’t that long since I knew. Wait. Now that I think about it, my tummy’s getting bigger faster than I noticed.

“What? Does it hurt Ae Soo?! Tell me, do you need me to call your Aunt so-“ I chuckle at his reaction. “Why are you laughing?”

“It doesn’t hurt Sehun. Let me borrow your hand for a bit.” I placed his hand on my stomach and then I felt a kick again. Sehun gasps in surprise and looks at me. “There, did you feel it?”

“The baby just moved?”

“Yes it did. I’m confused why I felt it this early because I expect this to happen after a few more months. But hey, I’m not human and the baby I’m carrying is not either.” I smiled at him but he still looks taken back like I was earlier. “Sehun, look at me.” He still looks confused and I gave him an assuring smile. “It doesn’t hurt anywhere and I feel okay. I’m not dying. I’m still alive and talking aren’t I?”

“You are not dying.” He corrects me and pulled me close. “I’m not going to let you both die.”

I nod at the impossible. There are only two choices in this situation. One, I die and the baby gets to live. Two, Sehun and our child gets to die and I live. It’s obvious I won’t do the latter. It’s too tragic not only for me but also to our child that hasn’t even seen the light in this world yet. I know that this world might be tragic and might cause sadness to our child but I won’t let our miss the chance to see what good things this world has to offer. This might be what Mom felt for me and I know get her. I think I might be okay with the same choice that she has chosen when she brought us to this world.

“Ae Soo.” Sehun’s voice snapped me out of my monologue so I looked at him. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m not thinking anything.” I lie. It’s a white lie. He has always protected me and I think this is my time to do the same thing. “Oh wait now I am thinking something.”

“Tell me.” 

I leaned closer to his ear so I can whisper what I’ve been thinking. “I’m hungry.” He laughs and I missed the sound of his laugh. He is nothing but angry and frustrated and sad this morning and I hated that. He sits up after giving me a kiss on the forehead.

“I’ll get you something.” Before he completely gets off the bed. I grabbed his hand. “What is it?”

“I want to see my husband cook something for me.” He chuckles this time and it’s nothing but music to my ears. I spread my arms wide and gave him a hint to carry me. 

“I see that we’re getting very demanding here my queen.”

“Deal with it. I’m pregnant and it’s the hormones.” He laughs and picks me off the bed. I wrap my arms on his neck and nuzzled my face to his neck. “I love this.”

“Yeah. I get the feeling.” He replies as he starts walk while carrying me on his arms.

S e h u n

I am not a morning person and I don’t think I will ever be. But with my wife being pregnant is making me one. I get paranoid whenever she walks to the bathroom. Her walks to the bathroom has never once gave me the peace of mind. Either she collapses or she vomits intensely. Ever since then, I’ve been following her to and from the bathroom. I feel Ae Soo get off the bed so I sit up. She notices me and chuckles. 

“Are you going to follow me while I pee too?”

“I won’t go in if that’s going make you uncomfortable.”

“Sehun, I’m okay. I’m just going to pee. I’m not going to collapse or anything.”

“You don’t know that.” She laughs and shakes her head in disbelief. She gives me that but I’m still following her. I did not enter the bathroom to give her some privacy as promised. We may be married but we still have to do our own businesses. I lean on the wall while crossing my arms on my chest as I wait for her but my eyes aren’t cooperating. This is hard. I’m drowsy as hell.

“You’re falling asleep dear.” The sound of her voice wakes me up so I immediately stood straight. 

“I’m not.” I took her arm placing it around me then she laughs. “Ae Soo.”

“I’m sorry it’s just... you’re too paranoid about everything. I know you’re scared and all but hey.” She cups my cheeks and kisses me. “I’m going to be alright okay? You just need to breathe.” 

I give her a nod but that does not make our situation better. I know she’s getting worse day by day because our baby’s growing inside her womb. It’s like her other leg is beneath her death bed already and I hate that.

“Come here.” She opens her arm and asks me to lay down on her chest. “You always fall to sleep when we’re like this right? So sleep. I’ll brush your head until you do.”

“I’m not the one who’s pregnant here.” She laughs. I really can’t get enough of her laugh. It’s really music to my ears. 

“Sleep Sehun.” I feel her hand brush my head as I lay on her chest and I hear it. Her heartbeat is getting slower than the last time I fell asleep like this.

₰  ₰  ₰  ₰  ₰  ₰

The next morning, Ae Soo grabbed me from my office telling me that I have to go with her. I can feel the excitement within her so I went along.

“So? What is it? What are you getting hyped up about?”

“It’s behind this door.” She smiles widely. It seemed like she was waiting for me to open the door so I did. When I did, I hear party poppers and I see everyone else inside.

“Surprise!” 

“As far as I’m concerned, it’s not my birthday nor Ae Soo’s.” I say and the Hyung’s started laughing. 

“Silly. It’s not that! Look, we did this for your kid!” I look around the room and noticed that they made a nursery. I look back and Ae Soo and she’s smiling at me. Ever since we all found out that Ae Soo got pregnant, everyone’s getting excited to see the baby.

Everyone but me.

As much as I wanted to, I really can’t be sincerely happy and hope to see our child. Why? Because as each day passes I can see how Ae Soo gets weaker and weaker. My time in finding out a way how she can live slowly gets eaten by that child inside of her. 

I smile.

I always force a smile for her because I don’t want her experiencing the things that she fears. Her painful experience playing in replay with the child inside of her. So this is how her father felt. It really is painful to watch as the woman you love gets slowly eaten away from you.

“It’s nice right? Really nice! I wonder if our child will like this?” She stares at the room with awe and I’m left with not knowing what to say.

“The kid won’t even know how to appreciate things yet.” 

She looks at me and I think she’s wanting to say something but she just smiled. “That’s why I definitely want to show our child how beautiful this world is and how to appreciate things.” 

I don’t have anything to say anymore to that because I don’t feel what she feels when all that’s running in my head is to keep her alive. “I have to go. There’s something I should do.”

“Again?” I smiled and kissed her by her cheek. 

“I’ll be back.”

₰  ₰  ₰  ₰  ₰  ₰

By the time I arrived, I was on my way to meet Ae Ryu when I bumped into Ae Soo’s father. I stopped on my track to bow to him. “Sehun, how is she?”

I clenched my fist to hid the anger inside me. He had guts to ask me that when he hasn’t even visited his daughter ever since he found out that she’s pregnant. “I think you should see for yourself.” I was about to walk away when I heard him continue walking.

“I know I’m cowardly hiding in here and making excuses. I apologize for that. But I will fix it. I can’t lose another one of my family after all.” When I hear him walk away, I continue on my tracks and headed to Ae Ryu to talk about if there’s any progress on the research. We are keeping this as a secret from Ae Soo for now and kept on searching for a way to make both her and the baby alive. But seeing Ae Ryu’s state right now, I don’t think there’s any progress.

“How is everything?” My voice seemed to snap him out of the darkness that’s slowly him in and he looks at me. He’s not sleeping. Bags under his eyes and he’s getting thinner. “You could’ve get yourself some sleep Ae Ryu.”

“I’ve got two things I want to say and I don’t have time for sleep. One or Two. What would you like to hear first?”

I sat on his desk and grab one of the books stacked on it. “Most people say they have good and bad news. I guess both are neither huh.”

“Correct. I don’t even know how to classify news anymore. So which is it?”

“Two then.”

“Alright then.” He sighs. “I guess you bumped into my father on your way here. It’s somehow related to that.” I shut the book close. Well would you look at that, he really is doing something. “He said that when our Mother was still carrying us inside her, he was expecting for Mom’s life to be out earlier than normal knowing that it is a girl. So what he tried to do is this.” He pointed at the rose placed on the vase and froze it. 

“I don’t get it.”

“He tried to freeze Mom. This magic is said to be like a cloak protecting this rose from the outside but time still tick inside.” I stand on my feet feeling a little hope that lit inside me. 

“So-“

“Well here’s the second news I’ve got you. I thought it might work too but the chances are seventy-five to twenty-five with our side on the latter. We can do it but here’s the risk.” Ae Ryu melted the flower but after a while it wilted. My whole body froze in fear. “That’s the risk.”

“Then why would the chances be twenty-five?!”

“My sister’s got the fox bead that’s why, but the reason why the good chances are low is because it’s being out of her by your child.” He stands and sigh. “But I don’t know what else to do Sehun. We’ve have searched every nook and cranny of possibilities. That’s all we can get.”

I stare at the rose that’s wilted on his desk then something came into me. “Ae Ryu, I think we can increase the twenty-five a little bit more.”

It's been a loooooong long while! hahah! I'm not sure if anyone of you will still read this because it's been a while since I last updated this one! But I've just been so busy in med school and I felt like I needed to step out and take a breather and hey, I remembered how I felt writing stories and it's just feel so refreshing! So if you reached this point, I just gotta say, Thank you! And with that, I've got a little something! I'm going to finish this one cuz I actually got a new story in mind. My next one's just a little bit close to my life and I've been putting it on my notes for a while and I've thought why not share it? Anddd that's it for now guys! COVID's still around so stay safe okay?

- Cheonsabyul <3