C h a p t e r   12

A  e    S  o  o

We both stare at each other for a while then I see the others arrive after him. They all walk towards where I am except for Sehun. He’s just staring at me from afar then he turns leaving me without even saying another word.

“Se-“ I was about to call after him but I don’t think that’s okay.

“Ae Soo!” Baekhyun approaches me and hugs me tight. “I just know it’s you! You’re back! Are you here for Sehun’s birthday?!”

“Oh um..”

“Ae Soo! Do you know them too?!” Minah grabs my shoulder and asked. I gave her a nod. “Whoa! Whoa! I never knew you know a lot of hot guys!” I force a smile as they all introduce themselves but I’m left staring at the spot where Sehun stood earlier. Of course he’ll be mad at me. What do I expect?

We head to the dining hall for dinner but Sehun didn’t appear. “He said he wasn’t hungry.” Chanyeol said and takes his seat.

“That’s odd. He’s particularly excited for today’s dinner since it’s meat. And Ae Soo's here too- Ouch! Hyung!” Baekhyun winces after Kyungsoo hits the back of his head.

That’s obvious. It’s because I’m here. All my appetite that I got from earlier’s trip vanished. I set my chopsticks down and stand. “Thank you for the food.”

“You’re done?” Jisoo asked.

“Yeah. I’ll take a little walk to burn it all out.”

“Ah, wait! Ae Soo-“

I’m sorry Jisoo.. I really don’t feel like talking. I just walk and let my feet take me where it wants to take me. I find myself near the archery grounds but I stopped. I might see him here if I do go. When I was about to turn, I see Chanyeol standing behind me smiling with his hands on his pocket.

“Why don’t you take a few shots. It’s been a while right?”

“But-“

“He’s not there. I just saw him elsewhere.”

“Oh.” He walks ahead of me and I follow him behind. When we arrive inside, he hands me a bow and takes one himself. 

“You doing well?” He asks while keeping his eyes on the target as he place one arrow in the bow.

“You're the second person who asked me that.” I chuckle and grab one arrow. 

“Let me guess, you said you are?” He fires the arrow and it hit bull’s eye. Chanyeol glances at me and I nod. “But you aren’t right? He’s on your head.”

I release an uneasy laugh. “Is it that obvious?”

I fire my arrow but I missed. “Yes. You’re both the same.”

I refuse to look at him because I hate to be read again. I really am so transparent right now. Whenever Sehun’s in the picture I am so transparent. I can’t hide my feelings because they’re too strong to be hidden. “Even if we feel the same we can’t do it.”

“Because you’re afraid? What are you afraid of Ae Soo?”

I look at him at the verge of crying. I shrug. “I don’t know.. I don’t even know what I’m afraid of anymore.. I thought it’s about that prophecy but.. I don’t know anymore..”

He smiles. His hands move to my head giving me a slight pat. “Don’t rush. You’ll figure it out soon yourself.” He peaks through my face and grins. “Now smile for me okay?”

I sigh and force a smile. “Mm. Thank you.” 

I told Chanyeol that I’ll be going back to my room now. I see Jisoo and Minah in front of my room with their toiletries on their basket. “Ae Soo!”

“Oh, hey.” I greet back. They hand me a small basket and I see my things in it. 

“Sehun’s Mom told us that there’s huge bath in here! Let’s go and take one okay?!” Minah said.

I chuckle. “Alright, if you insist.” 

We make our way to the baths. We soak ourselves in the hot water which is quite relaxing. “Ahh, this is the life. I know that this is even better than that stupid hotel.” Jisoo said. She opens her eyes and stares at me.

“What?”

“You talked to him yet?”

I shake my head no and sink my body up to my chin. “I don’t think I can see him yet..” I hug my knees. My chest feels tight right now. 

“And why is that?” Minah asked.

“He’s mad at me. I’m afraid to hear what he may want to say...”

Jisoo smiles. “You love him that much huh? Isn’t that more of a reason why you should tell him how you feel? I know you’re scared but, nothing will happen if you don’t say what you want to say. Face it Ae Soo. Everything will follow.”

Minah nods. “Yep! You know, I’ve dated once and the reason why I haven’t dated again is because I’m still afraid to be hurt but I think that’s included in falling in love. You fall and get hurt. That’s the cycle.” 

I smile nodding. Their words make sense. Chanyeol said so too. Maybe I’ll try talking to him when I’m all settled and ready. Yeah, I’ll do that. 

After we’re done with our bath, I head back to my room only to see the last person I needed to see right now. Sehun. He’s standing outside my room and staring at my window. I freeze out of shock and I lose grip of the basket that I’m holding which made a noise making Sehun turn. We don’t say anything. We just stare at each other.

Snapping out of the staring game, I grab the basket and pick the things that I dropped. I see a shadow above me and see Sehun close to me. “I..I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you so.. I’ll just pick these up and-“

“Ae Soo.” Damn. Him just calling my name makes my chest constrict. I pick up the last bottle and stand but I avoid his eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

I’m not ready for this yet. I know exactly what he’s going to ask and I can’t answer it yet. It’s just too much. I don’t want to hurt him again because of my head being in a mess. “W..Wait.” I hold up my hand to stop him. My eyes dropped on his and it’s full of sadness. I’ve never seen him like this before. “I’m sorry.” The words just came out of my mouth unconsciously. His eyes widen and looks down. He gives me a little nod and started to walk away. “Sehun-“

“I understand. Alright. I won’t bother you anymore.”

No. This isn’t supposed to end up this way.. stop him Ae Soo..

My brain is shouting to run after him but my feet aren’t listening. Instead, I just watch him leave.

₰  ₰  ₰  ₰  ₰  ₰ 

The day of Sehun’s birthday party came and the both of us are still playing the avoiding game. I didn't even got him a gift because I'm too preoccupied of everything. Whenever we meet eyes, we would always look away as soon as possible. Whenever we pass by each other we ignore and pretend we didn’t even see anything. This just hurts. I wanted to talk to him but I can’t find the courage to do so. His words last night just hit me so much that it’s driving me crazy. I’m being cowardly right now, protecting myself from getting hurt.. afraid of being rejected- I gasp.

That’s it.

That’s why I can’t face him. I’m afraid if being rejected and hated again. My heart is constricting at the thought again. I feel like crying. I stand from my seat and my movement makes a sound to the table. Jisoo and Minah looks at me. 

“Ae Soo? What’s wrong?”

“E..Excuse me for a while..” I exit out from the hall and run to a place where I can be alone. 

I’m feeling it again. It’s the same when I first heard the words from my Dad’s mouth. He hates me and he wants me dead. Does Sehun feel the same? Does he hates me the way Dad does? I run as fast as I can until I bumped into someone. I fell on my back but I don’t feel any pain.“Ae Soo?” I look up seeing Ae Ryu in front of me.

“Ae..Ryu.”

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” The moment he asked me what’s wrong, all the tears that I’ve been holding back suddenly bursted. “Ae Soo.”

“I can’t have him hating me too... I don’t want it..” I hug my knees as I cry. I feel warm all of a sudden. Ae Ryu is holding me in his arms, brushing his hand at my back as I cry.

“I don’t know what’s wrong but, I’m here. You’re not alone okay?” I don’t know why but his words are comforting as it is. I hold on to him as I cry my heart out but I forgot I will never be contented with crying. The pain will only remain in my chest and I’ll just wait until I get used to it again. When I’ve calmed down, Ae Ryu let go of me and wipes my eyes with his handkerchief. “You okay now?”

“Mm. Thanks. I didn’t know you’ll be here.” 

He sits beside me and shrugs. “I have no choice. I’m the heir. Everyone's here.”

I chuckle. “The heir huh?” We the heir of each clan have something to bear in our shoulders. Each of us have responsibilities to take care of. I wonder how Ae Ryu handles it. Why does he wants to have his face hidden from all the people around him. I stare at his mask. It’s not an ordinary one. It’s like the mask is made just for him. Black suits him and the silver lining on it just makes it elegant. 

“What are you staring at?”

“Nothing, I just think that your mask is beautiful.”

His eyes widen a little, then he looks away. “You always say needless things.”

I laugh. “I know right?” I continue to watch Ae Ryu as he looks faraway. He’s always like that. Whenever I look at him it’s like he’s thinking of something that it makes him feel so far away. “Hey Ae Ryu?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you thinking right now?” He looks at me and stares but he doesn’t talk. I wonder what’s on his head. He’s such a mysterious person. 

“Do you really want to know?” I nod. “I’m thinking, what made Ae Soo cry so bad that it made her eyes swollen?”

My eyes widen. He’s thinking about me? “Are you that curious?”

A small smile appeared on his face and he reaches out to give a pat on my head. “Want to get out of here?”

“You’ll take me somewhere?”

“Sure.” He stands patting his back and offers his hand to me. I smile taking it and dust off my dress. “Excuse me for a while.”

“Huh? What- oh my god!” I gasp when he suddenly scooped me up and we started floating. “W..Wait a minute! You can fly?!” He smiles looking up ahead of us. Oh god.. we’re so high up I think I’m going to faint! “Not too high okay?!”

“Well, you aren’t gonna see what I want to show you if we don’t.” 

“Waaaahhh!” I wrap my arms around his neck as I close my eyes. I can feel the wind brush away my hair. 

“Open your eyes Ae Soo.”

“Oh no. Definitely not! I’m going to faint if I do!”

I hear him chuckle. “You’re missing out a lot. Come now, open them for me.” His voice.. it’s a first I heard it like this. It’s soft and deep. It’s soothing and calming. I slowly open my eyes and see him staring down at me. He smiles nudging that I look down. When I do, the scenery takes my breath away. It’s so beautiful. It’s like beneath us is a big constellation with the lights of the buildings and houses. 

“Wow.”

“Right? I always do this when I feel like it. It’s great to be up here. Being alone and all.”

I look at him and his eyes are being far distant again. His mask is glowing with the moonlight behind us. I touch his mask as I stare which caught his attention. “Do you always fly up?”

Our eyes locked together, he nods. “Yeah.”

“You’re always alone?”

“I’m the only one who can fly.” 

“But you’re not alone right now. Because you took me with you.” I smile and touched his cheek. His eyes widen and the next moment I see myself falling. I gasp as I continue to fall.

“AE SOO! TAKE MY HAND!” Ae Ryu screams for my name and reaches out. When I do, he takes my hand and pulled me against him. “GOD. I’M SO SORRY AE SOO! I- I’M SO SORRY!”

I feel my body shake in shock body Ae Ryu holds me tight and it’s slowly fades. “I’m okay..” huh? My body’s not shaking anymore. Why do I feel like someone’s shaking? Oh, it’s Ae Ryu? I look at him and he is shaking. “Ae Ryu, hey.”

 “I’m so sorry.. For a moment, I was.. I’m so so sorry..” he keeps on apologizing in repeat like he’s not hearing me. I slightly push him away to make him look at me but he had his eyes shut close as he holds me. 

“I’m really alright so calm down okay?” 

“But I-“

“Come now, do what I do okay? Breathe in, breathe out.” I breathe in and out so he does the same. After a while, he calms down. Oh wait a minute.

“Thanks Ae Soo.” This.. it’s exactly like what happened with Sehun. “Ae Soo?” My eyes are getting heavy. Before I knew it, I fell asleep in Ae Ryu’s arms.

A e   R y u

When I look down at Ae Soo, she’s already asleep. I decided to just take her back to her room. But when we get back to the ground, Sehun’s there looking at us. He’s looking at me seriously and then turns to Ae Soo who’s asleep.

“What happened to her?”

“I just took her up and she fell asleep. I guess she cried too much that it tire her out. Can you show me to where her room is?”

He looks at me straight in the eye and approached. “I’ll do it. Give her to me.”

He's looking at me with much bloodlust. As much as I don’t want him to do it, I have to fight back this feeling I’m having for Ae Soo. I just can’t like her the way I am right now. I nod and hand her to Sehun. “Thanks.”

I turn to leave when Sehun calls me. “Ae Ryu.” I stop but I don’t turn. “Perhaps, correct me if I’m wrong but.. do you perhaps-“

“I don’t. So drop it.” I reply and walk away. I know what he was going to say. But even if I do like Ae Soo as a girl, I can’t be with her. That will just hurt. I just wish it wasn’t her.