Another long chapter.....

"Manoban, you got another care package, and some more letters. My goodness someone got very popular during their leave." I giggle as I'm handed all my stuff from home.

"Thanks Phillips." I shuffle through the letters and notice a bunch is from Jisoo, as to be expected. I open with gusto, excited to read what she has to say. I lean back into my bunk allowing myself to relax. I've been on detail for the last twenty seven hours and though I'm exhausted, I miss Jisoo too much to not hear from her.

It's been eighty one days since I've left home. Forty two since I've been deployed overseas and my letters back home aren't as frequent as I'd like them to be. Everyone has been amazing sending me letters and my mother with her large packages. My platoon buddies who have been bringing the mail have been pleasantly surprised at the volume. Before my return home I didn't give my family the information to send me anything it was selfish but I couldn't face anything when it came to Green Lake but now I can't get enough of it.

I breathe out a laugh as I read Jisoo's letter as she talks about how she gets betrayed by her father and lets Jennie to take her out of the house. I'm glad she's doing stuff. The last thing I want is for her to mope around. Don't get me wrong if I weren't as busy as I am, I'd probably need someone like Jennie to get me to move. I miss her like crazy. When I don't need to focus as much she's all I think about.

I laugh out loud as I notice a paw print on another page. Jisoo explains how Dalgom wanted to say how much he misses me as well. She put his paw in some ink and before she could clean him up he made a mad dash. I laugh harder as I read that she thinks he did it on purpose to keep her occupied.

My face hurts from all the smiling that I'm doing. My heart feels so light to have heard from her. I gather up the energy to write back. The delivery of letters can take up to two weeks and I try my best to send them all at once. Work makes it difficult. I know everyone understands but I still want to make the effort. They are.

As I write my response letter to Jisoo I feel someone lightly knock my boot and lean out from my bunk to get a good look. I smile at Sergeant Michael. Given the rank he has over me he doesn't exploit it unless necessary. Unless we're on detail or combat he's extremely lax. My unit and I are extremely lucky, and it allows us to treat him with even more respect whenever he does enforce his authority.

"How you doing Manoban?" I stand up and salute him. He chuckles but mirrors my gesture. "At ease." He orders with a smile, he points at my bunk and I look down at my enormous stack of letters and unopened package.

"Yeah my family." I say with a embarrassed chuckle. He nods in affirmation and scratches his well kept beard.

"How's your leg?"

I jog lightly in place to show its durability. "All good." I tell him honestly.

It healed very well actually. My physical therapist says that the fact that I'm so physical definitely helped with the healing process. I was excited to be out of my cast. It felt good once I was able to run again. However it was a while before I picked up my normal distance.

"Good to hear it. I just wanted to check in I know you had a long detail."

"Yes sir I'm fine. Just winding down now." He nods and crosses his arms over his chest widening his stance to get more comfortable.

"I'm glad you're getting so many things from your family. It's good to see you smile Manoban, I don't know how you did it before but now with the support of your family you're even stronger than before."

I try my best not to blush at his compliment. I just nod and say thank you. I see his eyes dart towards the box and I smirk.

"The truth comes out. I know why you're really here." I say with a laugh. He guffaws and places a hand over his heart.

"I am hurt Manoban. I am your commanding officer and I am just checking in with my unit and to think that I have any other intentions..." I'm glaring at him playfully and he breaks out in laughter. "Alright you caught me, did your mom send cookies?"

I laugh and drop into my bunk and pull out my knife to open the box. He drops onto the floor and waits patiently for a treat.

"I really did come to check on you though I wasn't..." He quickly tries to explain and I dismiss him politely. He doesn't need to explain, I know full well that he didn't just come for cookies. This is another reason why everyone in my unit is so fond of him. He doesn't let the events of what's going on here change who he is. He knows how to act in every situation. I open the box and smile as I see a package of cookies with his name on it. My mother is so awesome. I turn around with the snack in my hand.

"Apparently there's a set literally with your name on it."

He whoops and happily takes the baked goods from my hand and rips it open. He takes a bite a moans in delight. I'm brought bake to the moment I first saw Jisoo eat a brownie. She was so cute reveling in how good a simple dessert was. I miss her so much. Everything reminds me of her, even a grown man eating a chocolate chip cookie.

"How does she keep it warm?" He asks in shock and I just shake my head clearly not knowing the secret. Another memory flashes through my mind. I remember how my mother shares the fact that she'll share that very secret when Jisoo becomes my wife. Yeah I said when and not if. It's that serious.

He waves his half eaten cookie in the air. He says thank you with a full mouth and stands up. He finishes off the treat.

"Tomorrow, o five hundred, be ready." He winks and I stand up again to salute him. He does as well and turns to walk away shouting an order for me to thank my mother for him. I drop back into my bunk and pick up my letters, opening my own packages of cookies. I'm starting to miss home more with every passing day.
 

"Mom stop moving the screen." I say with a laugh and she continues to fuss with the laptop. "Ma let Luke do it."

I watch as my little brother takes over and adjusts the screen of the laptop and it focuses perfectly with everyone in camera. I widen my eyes as I notice that everyone is there. By everyone I mean everyone. My family, the Kims, the Parks, and of course the Jisoo's family are all standing behind my family. My girl is smiling widely in the corner and I try my best not to ignore everyone. I miss them all terribly but she's stealing my heart more than I'll admit in front of them.

They all shout hello and I even hear Dalgom in the background barking his greeting. I swallow the lump in my throat. I'm close to tears at the gathering of people and I'm so blessed to have them all there to say hello. I greet them all and make sure to have a few minutes to talk to each person. It's hard though they all want to talk for so long but I'm only allowed a certain amount of time. I want my longest time to be talking with Jisoo. I get through everyone relatively quickly and they all disappear from the camera. I finally get to her and my heart stops. She's so beautiful. She's breathtaking every time I look at her.

"Hi." She greets bashfully and my heart flutters at how cute she is.

"Hey beautiful, how you doing over there?"

"I'm good. Hanging in there. You?"

I just nod and give a small shrug. "I'm doing alright. Looking forward to be being back home with you."

"Me too. It's crazy how we're already in September but still have so much time left."

"I'll be home before you know it. How's the writing going?"

I try to keep our conversation normal. I try to give off the illusion that I haven't left. I'm not sure if it's for her or for me but it helps for the time that we do it. She tells me about her newest projects and that she's writing letters to publishers. She'll get picked up quick I have no doubt in my mind. She's amazing at what she does. She's amazing at everything, when it comes to the girl on the other side of this screen there isn't anything she isn't amazing at. More specifically she's amazing at loving me.

"I've been counting down the days until you get home."

I laugh and my lips. "Yeah me too baby."

I hear my name called from behind and I look to see one of my platoon buddies point to his watch informing me that my time is almost up. We've were able to talk for almost forty minutes. I'm grateful my family and everyone else were so willingly to talk quickly so I can have a longer conversation with Jisoo. It doesn't matter though because no time seems long enough. I just nod and my heart breaks as soon as I see the disappointment on Jisoo's face. I touch the screen wishing I could touch her face instead.

"I see tears well in her eyes." I fight the ones that are threatening to spill from my eyes. I force out my warning.

"There's no crying. You're going to see me soon. As soon as I get home you're stuck with me. You're gonna start trying to figure out ways to get me away from you." I joke and she chokes out a laugh through her tears.

"Doubtful." She answers me seriously.

We reluctantly say our goodbyes and she calls everyone back over to give me a farewell greeting. I tell everyone the same thing I said at the party they gave me before I left. I keep my eyes on Jisoo though making the promise more to her than anyone else.

"I'll see you later." She nods and I sign off.

I stand up from my seat and rub my sad face. It was so much easier before. I'm not sure if easier is better but it is a lot less painful. I feel a gentle pat on my back.

"Hey Samuels." I greet one of my platoon buddies and she walks with me, her arm around my shoulder.

"How was your talk with your family?" She quirks her brow subtly letting me know that she's referring to my girlfriend. I chuckle and nod.

"It went well. Everyone is looking forward to my return."

"Totally get it. It's hard being away from your loved ones, best feeling is seeing them after all the time passes by. We really appreciate the time with them when we get back. Just hold on. It doesn't get easier but it is completely worth it."

"You're creepy." I tell her playfully because it's like she just read my mind. She runs her hand through her buzzed cut hair and lifts her shoulders, taking her arm away in the process.

"I'm just wise beyond my years Manoban." I laugh as we head back toward our bunks.

–

I wipe the sweat from my forehead as I walk patrol. The sun is beating down hard on my unit and I. We are just doing our normal routine, making sure everything is secure. Phillips starts singing some random song making the rest of us laugh.

"Come on Manoban, belt something out for us." He says once he's done.

"Pfft. Don't even." I say as I readjust my pack. "Your bad singing is enough torture everyone, no need to bring me down with you."

Everyone laughs and I smile at how good it feels to actually be a part of the unit. I just fought alongside them but being able to joke and laugh and be with them in a way I didn't attempt to before, makes it easier. I finally understand the second family aspect of this and I guess I had to get reacquainted with my original one to be able to be a part of this one.

After a long day we all sit and eat together and I think about how my mother is probably having the Jisoo's family over for dinner. She's made it a weekly thing and I'm grateful because Jisoo's presence will be beneficial for both of them. They have each other to look after. I think about the letter that I sent Jisoo in the stack that I sent my family and wonder how many times she's read this one.

In one of the letters from her father he told me she's been obsessed with watching the news. I wish she wouldn't. It's bad enough missing her. I don't want to worry about all the things they show her through the media. She's going to make herself crazy but I know Jisoo. She is a consistent person, and stubborn. Once she's got her mind set on something she'll do it. So I know even if I told her to stop, unless I'm back home she'll do everything in her power to know if I'm okay. This is just another reason I send her as many letters as I can aside from missing her, it's to give her peace of mind.

–

I eat my dinner quietly listening to my mates joke and tease each other. My mind is busy thinking about Jisoo. I'm looking forward to seeing her in my dreams. I can't stop reliving the memories of our times together, think about how quickly I fell in love with her. I've spent more time away from her than with her and it doesn't feel like it. People could mistake our bond for a couple that has been together for years. The emotions moved so quickly that I can't disagree with how it looks because it feels that way.

I retreat to my bunk , dropping onto my bed; staring at the roof of the tent that's covering my bunk. I rest my hands behind my head as I think about my girl. I think about everything that got us where we are. The idle mind does what it does best as I think about how things could have been different if I never lost Jiwon and Rose. I think about my past feelings and compare them to the ones I have now.

Would I have broken Rose's heart if I met Jisoo in passing? How different would my life be if I never came to the army? Would Rose and I have lasted as long if we had gotten together? My mind reels with unnecessary questions. I get up to grab a blank sheet of paper and start to write Jisoo and honestly tell her how my mind has been thinking about my best friends. I tell her how I've been missing them, think about how things would be if they were alive. I tell her how I think I would have still fallen for her and still made the promise to her of forever. A letter isn't enough though, I haven't spoken to her for sometime so I put in an order for some phone time. Now all I have to do is wait for the okay. Waiting seems to be all I do and time doesn't seem to be moving as fast as I would like. Half way through October and there is still so many weeks keeping me from being where I crave to be. Next to Jisoo.

My heart races as the phone rings. I'm not sure if Jisoo is home but I'm sending a silent prayer up hoping that my timing is perfect. After the second ring I hear the line get picked up, and I smile at the voice of the older brunette.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mrs. Kim."

"Lisa! My goodness it's so nice to hear your voice. How are you?"

"I'm well, yourself?"

We talk for a few minutes until I politely ask if Jisoo is around. I hear her shout out Jisoo's name and my heart skips a beat.

"Yes she's right here hold on. You've must've sense her she literally walked in a few seconds ago."

I laugh and she puts me on hold. I hear some ruffling on the phone and I patiently wait for her to speak. I smile widely at her greeting.

"Hey baby!" She sounds so excited and my heart melts. I get comfortable leaning against the wall I'm sitting against.

"How's my beautiful girl doing?" I ask trying to be smooth, sometime you still have to put the effort in. Just because she's mine doesn't mean I don't want to treat her as if I was still trying to make her mine. Even though she did all the work. I smile at the irony.

"Ugh, terrible. I miss you so much.." I laugh because that's the answer she gives me every time I ask her. It's good to know even if the answer never changes.

"I miss you too. I managed to get some phone time at our base out here so of course I called you. I'm glad I caught you. I know we haven't spoken in a while."

It has been a long time. We only have like eight more weeks left of being apart but it's been a while since I've sent a letter or spoken to her. I've had a ton of detail so it's been hard. It breaks my heart because I don't want her to think that I'm not trying to talk to her. I especially don't want her to think that I don't miss her because I miss her more than I can express.

"Me too. I've been thinking about you so much."

I've been thinking about her nonstop myself. "Good, exactly how I like it. How is everyone?" I go to her for the reports because I won't be able to speak to anyone for a while. I've gotten word from my sergeant that we've received a tip that there is some activity going on involving a potential threat and we've been spending a lot of time preparing for this raid. We don't leave for some time though but we definitely want to be on guard. We've all done really well with keeping each other safe, knowing well that there are people waiting for each of us back home.

"Good they miss you obviously. I've been keeping up with everyone." I'm glad she is. I really appreciate that she's building these relationships with all these people. It shows me how dedicated she is to me. Also it's easier for me when I get back home to stay with her and them not having to designate specific time for each person. She can be with me whenever I go to see everyone again.

I here sounds of ammunition in the background and they slowly get softer. I shake my head at my girlfriend. She does not listen to a word I say.

"Jisoo..." I warn and I hear her sigh. I know I don't have to say anything after that my tone is enough.

"I know..." She responds.

"I told you stop doing that. Everything is okay. Trust me, my unit is being extremely cautious and we are watching each others back. We are trained babe..." I attempt to reassure her.

"I know but..." She tries to argue but I cut her off not giving her a chance to counter.

"What did I promise you?" It's not a rhetorical question. I want her to answer so she can remind herself. Also remind me a bit so I don't forget that I'm not just fighting for myself. I have people waiting for me back home. I'm not planning on letting anyone down. Especially her.

"That you'd come back." She answers monotonously. I smirk.

"Have I let you down before?" Another non-rhetorical question. She groans. "Come on baby answer the question."

"No you've never let me down before."

"And I won't now." I answer and I see my sergeant pass by and he shouts loudly for her.

"She's a machine!"

I roll my eyes, shaking my head. I laugh as he does this silly dance. "Zip it Michael!" I threaten my commanding officer playfully and he pouts, then whimpers and scurries away. I apologize to my girlfriend.

"It's fine, Was that one of your platoon buddies, you were telling me about in your letters?"

Even though he is in charge of the unit he'd prefer if we saw him as an equal when off duty. "Yeah that's James Michael, he's a trip. He's such a character, has the energy of a two year old never winds down. Always talks when everyone wants to sleep."

She laughs at my description of James and it feels so nice to hear that sound. We talk idly and manage a good half hour before I get notice that it's time for me to finish up. I sigh and we reluctantly say our goodbye. We hang up and I miss her already. I've seriously got it bad.

–

I take my helmet off and release my tight bun. I notice another package on my bunk and I smile as I think about my mother. Even all the way over here she still finds a way to spoil me. I use my knife to open up the box and see a note from each of my family members. I read the one from my dad first as he tells me about how my mother's been, sports teams, and work. I love his goofy personality. I read the next letter from my mother and she mentions the good talk that she had with Jisoo. I'm happy that my mother isn't as heartbroken as she's been from my past deployments. She's got a lot more people this time and I'm grateful for their presence. I read and laugh out loud when I read Lucas' letter. He informs that he's taking great care of Jisoo. He's doing exactly what I asked, he's such a sweet boy. I miss him terribly and I can't wait to see him again. He told me about the day he had with Jisoo and Dalgom. My heart melted when he said that he was happy that I found someone to love because now he had two big sisters. He tells me that Jisoo misses me and that everyone is ready for me come home.

I drop into my bed and start my reply back to them as I eat my pack of gushers that my mother sent me. They are so delicious. I've got a serious addiction to these juicy candies. I finish up my letters and my sergeant comes into the bunks. By the look on his face I know it's time for us to make a move on the tip that he heard about a couple of weeks back. I'll finish up these letters when I get back.

We pile into our vehicles, a four Humvee convey, and head towards the site of the tip. I take a deep breath, readying myself for whatever may be coming.

"You okay Manoban?" Private Roy hits me on my arm, pulling me from my thoughts. I readjust my weapon in my hands, nodding my head. "Everything's gonna be fine." He shrugs and smiles. I nod, his words giving me a bit a reassurance. He's only been with our unit for a few months but he's been a great addition. He's a cool kid.

"Thanks Roy." He nods and turns back around on his seat. As the twenty of us from my unit drive down the dirt path of the streets, we're met by two other units that join our convey. We reach our destination.

We get out the car cautiously; weapons raised, eyes alert. I train my weapon in front of me as we make our way into the building. Sergeant Michael puts his hand up in front of us, pulling his fingers down into a fist. We all stop and wait for direction. He bends down, listening to his surroundings. It's quiet. Eerily quit. He stands, holding up three fingers and points to his left. Roy and two other soldiers flank left and when he does the same with his right three soldiers behind me do the same. He turns and points to me and Samuels to follow him and keep our eyes peeled. I raise my weapon as I move to follow my leader.

I glance back and the rest of the convoy is making their way either left, right or upstairs. Michael guides us out a back door that leads to some sort of construction site. We point our weapons high, checking our surroundings for hostiles. I'm not exactly sure what the tip was that we got only that there was potential danger to the United States and for that we move. No questions asked. The metal bars and plastic covering the middle part of the construction area is making me uneasy. We can't really see what's behind them.

"We clear?" Michael asks. Samuels and I survey as best as we can, but it's hard to get a clear visual.

"There's too many blind spots." I whisper as we move further into the yard. If there are hostiles, we're sitting ducks right now.

"I don't like this Sergeant." Samuels says and I wholeheartedly agree with her.

"Fall back." He instructs us and we do as we're told, keeping our weapons raised at the openings in the construction. I hear someone shout something in a different language and before we know it, we're being ambushed. Shots ring out and I drop to the ground as quickly as possible, firing back in every direction I assume the shots are coming from.

"Hostiles at ten and two." Samuels shouts.

"I'm hit, I'm hit." I hear Michael's voice.

"Samuels cover me." I instruct her. I duck my head and put my weapon in my right hand as I make my way over to him. I do my best to drag him from the line of fire but like I said before we're sitting ducks out here.

"We need a medic!" Samuels shouts as the some other soldiers come out to help us. I sit Michael against the wall and pull open his vest to survey to damage.

"How bad is it?" He let's out a dry laugh as I look down at his womb. It went through the vest and into his stomach. The gun shots continue to ring out in my ears.

"I need to flip you over." I shout to him and he just nods. I turn him over to see if there's an exit womb. There isn't. I put him back to his original position and I'm sure the look on my face is saying it all right now.

"It's bad." He says plainly and I shake my head.

"I need to get you out of here and to the medic." I tell him and go to pick him up.

"No." He shakes his head. "You're gonna get your self killed Manoban."

"There's too many Corporal, we need to fall back." I hear Samuels shout. But I'm not leaving Michael behind.

"Come help me with Michael." I shout. Samuels backs her way over to us, continuing to fire as the two soldiers that joined us cover her. I'm not sure where the rest of the soldiers are but I'm assuming that they were ambushed as well.

"You'll never make it to that door carrying me." Michael shouts at us as we try to pick him up.

"We're not leaving you!" I shout to him.

"I'm not gonna make it anyways." He forces out a laugh as he mouth begins to fill with blood. He looks down at his wound, placing a hand over it and pulling it away to look at the blood. "You all need to get out of here. Get these troops out of here Manoban. You have to get them out of here." He says sternly. I stare at him, begging him to not make me do what he's asking me to.

"You're their leader now Corporal, now go!" He shouts and coughs up blood. I fight back the building tears. I can't cry, I can't be weak. I have to be strong. I have to get the rest of my guys out of here.

"I'm sorry Sergeant." I bend down and say. He reaches around his neck and pulls his dog tags off, handing them to me. Could you give these to my mom." He says and more blood pools in his mouth. "She lives in Springfield, Missouri. Could you tell her that I love her." He says as tears start to fall. He's only twenty five years old. He should be able to go home and tell his mother himself.

"I will." I nod as I stuff the dog tags into my pocket.

"Now go." He shouts pushing us away. I turn, aiming my gun and firing at the hostiles. I hit two easily and a third one that was running for cover. But no matter how many I hit more keep coming. We start to fall back,making our way back into the building, trying to avoid the flying bullets. I hear another soldier yell 'bomber' as we make our way back to the front of the building. I scan my surroundings quickly as I instruct the three soldiers behind me to keep moving out the door. I'm in charge now, I need to make sure everyone gets out okay.

I turn to my right and from the side of the building I see a hostile walking towards us with a bomb strapped to their chest and enough C4 to take down this entire building. I yell as loudly as possible for everyone to fall back but it's too loud in here. The soldiers that were clearing the upstairs haven't made it down but I can't stay here.

"Corporal!" I hear someone to my left yell. I look over to see Private Lee on the ground. I rush over to him, he's been shot in the leg. I need to get him out before the bomber detonates. I flip my weapon over my shoulder and use all my strength to lift him up and drag him towards the door. "Get those cars started now!" I yell to the soldiers outside. But it's too late. The bomber detonates and everyone that hadn't made it far enough from the building goes flying.

I try to sit up, but the ringing in my ears and the fact that the ground is spinning is making it difficult.

"We have to move!" Samuels shouts to me. I try to shake my head clear. To make myself focus on the task at hand. Getting out of here. Samuels helps me to my feet and I look around; the blast killing another four people. I nearly drop to the ground again. I watch as Lee is loaded into a Humvee and Samuels is at my side again. "Corporal we really have to move, now!" She yells again I know she's right. There could be more hostiles moving in on our location. I nod and stand again, securing my weapon in my hand and shout out orders.

"Check them!" I yell to no one in particular as I point at the soldiers laying on the ground. Two Privates do as they're told, but we find no other survivors. "Load up and move out now!" I instruct everyone and I don't have to say it a second time. We load into all the Humvees and move the convoy back towards camp. We keep an out out in case we're being followed.

The drive back is silent. A huge difference from when we were on our way here. Phillips was making a joke about something I can't even remember now. It kept our hearts light so the adrenaline didn't overwhelm us. The unexpected got the best of us and we lost a bunch of good men and women. I left a good man behind. I could've done more. I should've done more. I try my best to not let the guilt get to me. I run my thumb over the engravings of his dog tags.

I feel a gentle squeeze on my shoulder. I look over to Samuels. She's always giving pep talks, giving words of wisdom to get you lift your head up just a bit higher. I'm not sure it's going to work this time. My face tells her so and she just nods her head keeping quiet. I appreciate the effort though.

We get back to base and since I'm in charge now I have to speak with the casualty assistance officer and let them know about Sergeant Michael. I'm not sure who else we lost back there. Their were a couple other units and I wasn't familiar with each of them. The rest of my team quietly head to their bunks and take a moment to gather themselves. It's hard to lose your commanding officer, but in this circumstance we didn't only lose our commanding officer we lost a friend.

"Where's Jack and Abel?" I look around, noticing two others that left with us are not here.

Everyone looks around, I guess in the mayhem we didn't even notice that they were missing. I drop my head and sigh. That's three people from my unit. I'm hoping they just got in the wrong Humvee within all the chaos. I don't think I can take two more deaths.

I get into my bunk and finally allow myself to cry. I keep it quiet and make it quick because it's not an emotion I'm allowed to wallow in for too long. I sniffle, wipe my face and make my way to deliver news that I wish I didn't have to.

–

"Manoban!" I whip my head up from the letter I'm writing to Jisoo. It's been three days since the incident, luckily, Jack and Abel were okay. They were in the wrong Humvee. But the death of Sergeant Michael left me in charge and things have been pretty hectic with the scouring through of the wreckage so the families of fellow soldiers can be notified.

I stand up quickly and salute my Staff Sergeant. He salutes back and orders me to stand at ease. I place both hands behind my back and look straight ahead waiting for orders.

"I just wanted to say sorry for your loss Corporal."

"Thank you sir."

"You've done well maintaining your team. However we've found a replacement. Now you can shoulder the responsibility."

"Yes sir."

"Also I know you're scheduled to be discharged in a couple weeks but we're going to relocate you for further east to help Sergeant Kwon train a new set of privates, can you handle that Corporal?"

"Yes sir." I nod once.

"You ship off in a couple of hours. Quickly pack up your gear and head out."

"Yes sir." I tell him again and he turns to head out. I drop out of my stance and take a seat on my bunk. It's been over a week since I've been able to get a letter out to anyone or call. Training a new set of Privates won't give me much time to do that. I need to get something to them so the don't start to worry though. I sigh and shake the thoughts of home from my head. As much as I miss them I know I have to focus on what's going here. I have to stay focused so I can make it back to the ones I love.

–

Training these new Privates has proven to be more difficult than expected. I've never seen a group more reluctant to learn and the attitudes on the better half of them is ridiculous. I've had most of them running laps around the base to teach them lessons, but it's hard when they don't care. I don't understand... if you don't won't to be here, then why are you? There are good people that fight with integrity and die. And you want to complain about how bad the conditions are?

"That's enough for today!" I shout to the privates as they run past me for the 27th time. The equivalent of about nine miles. "Hit the showers and then clean your weapons, I wanna see not one speck of dirt on them when I check them."

"Wiping them into shape huh Manoban?" Corporal Milton walks up behind me as the Privates file into their barracks mumbling and groaning about the workout I just put them through.

I shake my head. "Trying."

"You're set to head back home in what a week?" He asks. I nod. "You gonna re-up?" I turn and narrow my eyes at him. I never thought about it. Honestly, I never thought about any of this in the long term. What am I going to do with my life once I get out of the army if I chose not to re-up? I've never been especially great at anything. I never really had any amazing talents. The only thing I was ever really good at was hanging out and having fun with my friends.

"I don't know." I shrug.

"Well whatever you decide I think you'd make one hell of a BCT. We wouldn't have to worry about anything with the soldiers you send over." He chuckles as he pats me on the shoulder.

"Thanks Milton." I turn away from him as he walks away, watching the last of the Privates file in to barracks.

I never really thought about what my life would be like once I left Afghanistan, but maybe it's time that I do.

–

I smile as I sit down at my desk. I finally get to finish up this letter to Jisoo.

Dear Jisoo,

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been trying but things have been so hectic lately that it's been hard. I know you've probably seen on the news by now about the attacks and the death of Sergeant Michael. I just want to let you know that I'm okay. Sergeant Michael died being as brave as he was when he was alive. I miss him... his ridiculous jokes and bubbly personality. He was a good soldier and an even better man. He gave me his dog tags to give to his mom, she lives in Springfield, Missouri. I was wondering if you'd like to go with me when I went to give them to her. She deserves to know how amazing her son was. They've had me training Privates the last few weeks and I must admit, it's been hard. I don't think I was this stubborn when I first got in, these new recruits are ridiculous. My time here is almost done and I can't help but think of what I'm gonna do once I leave here. I'd never thought about it before to be honest. I don't think I really had a reason to. But now, I have you and my family and I just wanna make sure I'm the best I can be for each of you. And a good example for Luke. Maybe it's something we can discuss when I get home. After we have the longest make out session in history of course. Would you tell everyone that I'm okay. I will only be able to get out this one letter and I just want them to know that I'm alright. Could you also tell my mom that Michael said thanks for the cookies and that he loved them. I don't know when this letter will get to you but maybe I'll be home by the time you read it. I love you.

Lisa