After the Han river walk out which eventually turned in to a small gathering party for just the members, Jackson and Mark had disappeared and Jin-Young came to know about it only after they had left. Everyone was so excited about having their me time after a long time, everyone was making a plan and they were kind of lost in the conversation. Jin-young was confused about just spending the day by himself or go somewhere with Mark but then after Jackson had come back from China, he thought his chances of going out together with just him and Mark hyung was slim.

‘But still… he may say yes…there is no harm in asking. What if I had asked him and he would have said yes but then I didn’t ask him and that led to him not agreeing to go out with me’.

He had a little war going on in his mind. Thus, finally when he had decided to ask him and looked around to see Mark hyung. There was no sign of him. Needless to say, Jackson had disappeared too. How long it had been, he was sure, no one would have answer to it. Hence, there was no point in asking anyone. His hands immediately found the phone in his pocket, his fingers ready to speed dial Mark Hyung. Yet at the last moment, he stopped. He wanted to call or text but, yet it looked so obvious to him that they were together at that time and calling them would simply be invading their time together.

After a little while, everyone left to get back to the dorm. Some of them even packed their stuffs and made everything ready for tomorrow. While, the others went straight to bed.

That night, the full moon and the visibly shinning millions of stars canvassed in the deep black sky illuminated upon a man who had been standing in front of the Han River and had been staring into who knows what to. The howling wind which accompanied this man on that silent night would sometimes play with his hair as if to wake him up from the deep slumber. But he was not in a deep sleep. He was the only one who was awake when the whole city was sleeping peacefully that night. The silent tears rolled down his cheeks with elegance. That beautiful, handsome but expressionless face rose thousands of questions to anyone who would have seen him. Yet, he was there all alone and he thought he would be like that all alone in this lifetime.

‘Why are you sad Jin-Young? Is it something you didn’t know it would not have happened?

Today, you found out they left together. Are you sad that Mark hyung didn’t inform you? Yes, you are close with Mark hyung but don’t forget, you fall in the same category with the other members. You can never be especial to him like how Jackson is for him. You know that, when Jackson is around, he doesn’t see anything but Jackson. He keeps on calling Jackson’s name even when he is not around….How can you see it and simply ignore…Jin-Young….why do you keep on forgetting his eyes seek for someone else not you….

One day…one day, Jin-young… You might find that they…they are in …. they are going out, should you be surprised?? No..Why should you? You knew…..You knew it from the very beginning. When they are together, there is no space for anyone… You found badly, even if Jackson was not with him physically….. even if they didn’t remain in touch with each other for a long time… the feelings they had for one another would still be the same. It wouldn’t change. Rather, it became stronger with time. You knew the way Mark hyung looks at Jackson. The way he looks at Jackson is very different to the way he looks at anyone. Yet, why didn’t you stop your feeling to grow… why did you have that tiny hope…when did you even let that tiny hope to grow to this extent…why did you start dreaming of you and him together…why did you? .why are you not satisfied with just being someone at his side anymore… you decided long time ago, you would just watch him and be happy with that…but why are you sad now…why do you feel you cannot breathe…why can’t you feel anything right now except the feeling of hurt and pain…why you had to listen and go along with your heart…you knew from the very start…it would remain as a one-sided feeling. Your feelings would never be reciprocated back. Jin-Young…when did you become so stupid to fall in love knowing that you would get nothing but pain in return…

He had been standing there whole night. The sleeping silent city was about to wake up. The moon accompanied by the beautiful shinning stars had long gone. The howling wind of yesterday’s night had changed to pleasant breeze. The cold night was slowly losing gracefully with the emerging rays of sunlight. The birds were ready to leave their nest starting their new day. The vehicles were already leaving from the house and making queues on the street. The city was slowly waking up and there was another man who was jogging. He had already fulfilled his required miles coverage, but he just decided to go the Han River because he wanted to compare the beautiful Han River from yesterday’s night to this beautiful morning. That man was none other than JB and when he saw Jin-Young standing there all alone staring deep in the Han River from the side, his instinct told him something was certainly wrong. Jin-Young was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. He remembered when he had asked Jin-Young to go to the dorm together, he had said he wanted to spend some time there. Thus, he had left with the other guys. But, at this moment, it looked that he had been there whole night.

‘What had actually happened?’

There was a sudden deep impulse within him that screamed he needed to protect and care Jin-young. He walked to Jin-Young and he noticed that there was no reaction from Jin-young. Even when he reached near to him and stood at his side, he could see he didn’t feel his presence.

JB finally couldn’t control himself and shook Jin-Young, ‘Are you okay? What are you doing here?’

JB could feel through his clothes, the guy felt so ice cold. Now, he was certain, he must have been there whole night and his doubts were confirmed when Jin-Young finally looked at him. Those dark circles, that expressionless face, he looked like he had fought a long battle and lost the war. He looked like a tired and completely defeated man. He had never seen Jin-Young like that. Not even when they had gone through their harsh training during their rookie days.

‘JB…’

Jin-Young just fainted and his body fell slowly dramatically. The cold night and the wind were harsh on him and after spending the whole night contemplating, he had completely drained his energy.

JB caught him before his body touched the ground. His body was burning with high fever. He was breathing very fast.

JB immediately piggybacked Jin-Young and carried him to the dorm.