Gift for QueenWho

Gift from ????

Title: Come Back To Me

Pairing(s): Markjin

Words: 4323

Rating:13+

Warning: Cursing words may show up.

Note to my giftee :

Hello there, how are you?

This is my first time join a fanfic project and I’m so excited! I hope you like your present and enjoy it. Really looking forward for your feedback and I hope we could be friend in the future. Merry Christmas and happy holiday! ^^

P.S. actually I made a playlist for this story. You could read while listening to it. (Mostly it’s Urban Zakapa because I love their songs lol)

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Come Back to Me

 

“Jackson, I’m desperate.”

“Cheer up, Dude. You can do it.”

“He didn’t see me that way anymore. Nothing that I could do to make him back.”

“Why are you suddenly become pessimist like this?”

“Didn’t you see Jinyoung and Yugyeom get closer these days?”

“So?”

“I don’t think I have a chance to beat Yugyeom. Does Jinyoung really like him?”

Jackson was rolling his eyes, "Don't be ridiculous. Jinyoung just treat him like a brother. I'm pretty sure he’s just like spending time with Yugyeom, nothing more."

"You barely see them in the dorm! I feel like an outsider in their lovey-dovey world. And I just saw him coming out of Jinyoung's room this morning, so how am I supposed to think?"

“Gossiping? Pillow fighting? Sleeping? There’s so much you can do in a bedroom, ya’ know?”

Mark glared at Jackson in disbelief. Jackson can't say no more. He just tapped on Mark's shoulder, trying to cheer his best friend emotionally.

Mark never told him the truth behind their separation, though Jackson knew there must be something behind it. Thinking how Jinyoung loved Mark so much, so it was kinda impossible in Jinyoung’s part to offer that idea.

Even when Jinyoung beg him to get back together, Mark’s still flirting with other guys. It hurts him of course. Jinyoung was crying his eyes out every night at Jackson’s house when he came for sleepover.

It hurts even more when Jinyoung opened his twitter and instagram and saw all fans commenting they miss Markjin moment. Well, he is definitely the one who missing it the most, but he couldn't do anything since Mark seemed always avoiding him. So Jinyoung also tried to keep a distance to get over him.

Although he wasn’t happy in this situation, he tried to hide it by pretending. But he’s alright. At least now he can act normally in front of Mark and be able to smile again. Thanks to Yugyeom.

Yugyeom was the one who always made him laughed lately. Well, usually it's Jackson's job since they are best friend too. But because of his work back in China, they couldn’t meet as often as usual.

Now, Mark just realized that he's still in love with Jinyoung. He looked bitter everytime he saw him talking with some other guys, especially Yugyeom and Hyunjin.

Yes, Hyunjin is our junior and he openly told everyone that he adores Jinyoung. That made Jinyoung think Hyunjin was cute. One day he once came to our waiting room just to talk with Jinyoung.

Mark didn’t say anything, but everyone knew his jealousy went off the rails.

“So, what will you do now?” Jackson asked.

“I don’t know.” Mark laid his body on Jackson’s bed, buried his face onto the pillow. “I fuked up…”

Mark knew he messed up so bad. Regretting what he had done to him. It’s true what people say, you never know what you got till it’s gone. And it’s even harder to move on when they almost together 24/7 living at the same house and working together.

“Hang in there, Man.” Jackson once again threw sympathy towards his best friend. “You know… Chistmas is coming soon. Why don’t you give him surprise on Christmas Eve or a present or just go somewhere?”

Mark didn’t give a response, but it seemed like he considered it.

“Let’s remembering when is the happiest time for both of you. What does make him happy? And the time when you two fell in love with each other, do you still remember that?”

Oh yes, he does.

Mark never forgets the first time Jinyoung came to him when he didn’t have any friend and barely speak Korean. With his broken english, he gave Mark the warmest welcome there is. It was funny actually. And little did he know, Jinyoung has already taken him to another world.

It was easy to fall for him.

It was that night when Jinyoung asked him to walk around neighborhood before they debuted. They were sharing their concern and feeling, and when they stared into each other’s eyes, Mark knew it.

Mark knew at that time that Jinyoung was special

But they didn’t talk about it, although they both knew each other’s feeling.

Until Mark finally confessed to him after their Japan Concert. He couldn’t hold his feeling any longer when he did kabedon to Jinyoung. He was so cute; Mark almost kissed him for real on stage.

You could see Jinyoung was the happiest man alive back then. His feeling was reciprocated after all these times.

Jinyoung admit that he was already in love with the older the first time he saw him, but he didn’t have enough courage to confess.

One day when they were hang out in Jinyoung’s room, Jinyoung told him something that he’ll never forget until this day.

“Mark, you are like the protagonist in my novel. You are quiet, kinda cold at the outside and hard to get closer with. But actually you’re warm, gentle, and super kind. I like it.”

“Really? What novel is it?”

“Romance. I just bought it.”

“Okay, so who are you in that novel?”

“I’m the main character of course. Basically the story is same with ours, love at the first sight with a little drama here and there, except they are not idol.”

Mark just smiled to his boyfriend who excitedly rambling about the story how it was very romantic and magical.

“Do you know why I like reading romance recently?”

“No. Why is?”

“Because when I read it, I could picture us and imagine we could be like the couple in the story.” Mark stayed silent while spooning Jinyoung from behind. Waiting him to continue.

"I know we can't be like any other couple out there. We can't hold hand when we go out for date. We can't kiss whenever we want, or just hug in public just because. Heck, even manager hyung asked us to not go often together, so fans or paparazzi won't make a rumor about us. So, it's like my novel is my sweet escape."

Jinyoung laughed, but Mark didn't know if he was laughing at his words or their situation.

"I'm sorry, Babe." Mark tightened his hug, tried to console his boyfriend.

"No, it's okay, Markie. I just... I wish we are not an idol just for one day and we could tell the world how happy we are together and don't have to hide our relationship."

Jinyoung’s face suddenly became sad. Mark was feeling sorry because he can’t do anything about it.

“It will always be my favorite ‘what if’.”

And just like that, Mark promised to himself that he would do everything to Make Jinyoung happy. He’ll be everything Jinyoung wanted him to be. Mark wanted to make sure they could be happy together forever even with their limitation as an idol.

But…

Somewhere along the way, he was lost.

He was confused.

Where did his love go?

.

.

.
.

.

"No, no, no, I don't understand. None of this makes sense. You can’t just leave me like this and telling me to see other people, pretending what we’ve been doing all this time doesn’t mean anything to you. Did I do something wrong?”

His heart beat so much faster. Jinyoung could feel tears in his eyes, feeling like his ground just crumbled down. Everything around him seemed to be spinning. He was confused. Everything felt surreal.

“I thought we are happy, Mark.”

'I thought so too...' that was Mark's thinking but he didn't dare to say it out loud.

"Tell me what’s wrong?"

Jinyoung could see how Mark felt uncomfortable. He looked down, and then played with his finger for a while.

“I’m sorry. I really am. It’s not you—“

“DON’T YOU DARE BRINGING UP THAT BULL!” Jinyoung shouted. Tears all over his eyes. He couldn’t believe it. What about everything they’ve been through? Was it all a lie?

Mark couldn't say a thing. He knew Jinyoung wouldn’t accept a simple reason that doesn't make sense for him. He knew Jinyoung would think there must be a reason why Mark asked for breaking up. But honestly, there isn't specific reason for it.

Mark just fall out of love this time.

"I-I don't know, Jinyoung. It just doesn’t feel right."

"What do you mean?"

“I feel like I talk to stranger now. You don’t treat me like you used to. You changed. I hate it!”

Wait, no, what am I saying? Did I just make up an excuse? This isn’t right. I should stop now.

“Change how? Tell me.”

"No need. Beside I heard you go out with some other guy and you never told me about it. I guess you finally find someone you can freely date now, huh? Just like what you're dreaming of, a romantic love story like in the novel. Congratulation, YOU CHEATER!"

No, no, no, I don’t mean that! Why can’t I stop? Oh my God why do these words keep coming out of my mouth? Please stop!

"Where the did you hear that? I swear I never cheated on you!”

" YOU JINYOUNG!"

Jinyoung startled this time. He stood still, couldn’t believe what he heard coming from the person he loved the most.

“What did you say?”

“You heard it.”

That was intense. Jinyoung looked straight to Mark’s eyes, trying to find the truth, the real reason. Too coward to confront it, Mark averted his eyes with his fist balling at his side.

“You know this isn’t true right?”

Mark didn’t say a word.

“I love you, Mark. You know it. I’ll never do that to you.”

“Well, that’s just what a cheater would say.”

A pang of disappointment coming trough Jinyoung’s heart. It doesn’t seem like Mark will listen to his words at this moment. He just couldn’t understand what was going on. It was too sudden.

Is he even trying to believe him?

Why does Mark need to do this?

Shattering all good times they had.

He hates it.

“I hate you.”

“You know what, I HATE YOU TOO! I AM SICK OF YOU, I AM SICK OF EVERYTHING!”

It felt like someone just punch him in the chest with a giant bat. It hurts. Jinyoung started crying again, this time was louder and uncontrollably.

“I thought you loved me.” He said.

That was a question; asking for the truth behind what he just did.

There was silence for quite a while, until Mark gathered up the courage to look up and looked Jinyoung in the eyes.

"No, I don't love you anymore."

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.

.

.

.

Now there's no turning back for Mark.

That night was horrible. It was full of shouts and tears.

He just wanted it to be simple and clean with a decent goodbye, but what the is going on? It was awful.

Though Jinyoung still want him back, he can’t help but thinking that he didn’t deserve Jinyoung anymore. So, he tried to stay away thinking that maybe it’s the best he could do to not hurt the younger even more. Mark didn’t want to create any more drama when GOT7’s comeback is coming near.

 
At first Mark didn't say the reason, but later Jinyoung told Jaebum that they both agreed to focus more on GOT7 career, so that's why they broke up.

Ever since that day, everything was different. It was obvious.

Mark thought he’d be fine. He’s the one who broke it off after all, so he thought he could get over it quickly.

He started flirting with other guys, thought it would be fun. But, whom is he kidding?

It will always be him.

It’s always Jinyoung at the end of the day.

The joke is on him.

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“Look, we’re even okay? I don’t owe you meat anymore. Here, eat a lot! Just don’t brag up about it every time you have a chance.” Jinyoung laughed at Jackson’s whining, while the other gave a full plate of beef to him.

“Wow, thank you, Jackson. After all these times… finally…” He replied with sarcastic grateful tone.

“Whatever.”

They haven’t met each other for 2 weeks because Jackson needed to go back to China after the promotion ended. Today he just arrived in Korea and decided to ask Jinyoung to have dinner at his house.

“You invited me because nobody could come, right?” Jinyoung squinted his eyes, jokingly being suspicious.

“What?! Of course not! You’re my friend and I want to treat you the best meat in town. Is it wrong?”

It’s true, usually he would have dinner with Mark or Bambam, but they already had plan tonight. Beside, it has been a while they both didn’t have a quality bro-time, so why not?

After dinner, they decided to hang out in the living room, grab some beers, and catch up about each other’s life.

“Any news when I’m gone? Update me!” Jackson asked enthusiastically.

“Uumm… Not much. Jaebum hyung was busy with his friends making another project. Bambam was pretty busy with his stuff in Thailand. Youngjae’s just chilling at home, I guess. Yugyeom is still annoying, and I still can’t decide whether to take roll on drama or not.“

“Why? It’s a good chance for you.”

“I know. But I’m afraid I can’t keep up with other actors. They are so great; I don’t want to hold them back because of my lack of skill.”

“Dude… have I told you that you are a good actor?”

“Yeah… so?”

“Well, you better accept that damn roll! You’re really a good actor, Park Jinyoung. Trust me just take it! You won’t regret.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll think about it.”

They quite for a while continued chugging beer in their hand. Jackson occasionally stole a glance at Jinyoung, curious with his thought about certain person.

“And what about Mark?”

Jinyoung paused for a moment, but then said, “Mark was the same. Playing games at his room all day. Nothing much.”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“Come on, Jackson, it’s been a long time. I’m fine; he’s fine, and everything’s back to normal. Just the way it used to be.”

“He loves you.”

“Pft, yeah he does. For now. Who knows what’s going to happen later? Who knows if that feeling will still be there a week from now? A month? A year?”

“But doesn’t that what matter? Now?”

“I don’t know. I can’t risk it.” Jinyoung looked troubled. But Jackson knew deep down inside Jinyoung was still in love with Mark.

“Hey, I don’t really know what happened between you two, and I don’t need to know either since it’s been so long. But I think you should talk to him, Jinyoung. Whether you still love him or not, you have to tell him what you feel. At least, when it’s really over, you two get a clear closure.”

Jinyoung looked blankly to the table in front of him. He was lost in his own thought. So many thoughts.

“He said he loves me. He didn’t ask me anything though.”

“Really? What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything. What am I suppose to say? What do you expect from a guy who called you at 3 in the morning, drunk.”

“He said he loves you. He doesn’t even add ‘forever’ right? He doesn’t make up some promises that he may break in the future. All he knows is what he feels in the present. So, what’s the problem?”

“That’s the problem, Jackson. It when you give your all to someone and they don’t reciprocate your love in return. It kills you. I thought he was the one for me. We might’ve had great compatibility. He probably fit into all my imaginary stories and we ended up being happy together for so long. But what doesn’t work, doesn’t. And that’s the fact that I’ve learned to accept. We will never work.”

He looked away to hide his tears. It’s ing frustrating.

“Well, all I could say is, just wait and see. Let him fixes himself.”

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.

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“What the , Man? Why did you call him at 3 in the morning?”

“How do you know? Did he tell you or what?”

“Of course! You called him. In the ing morning. At 3 am. Drunk. And you told him…. I love you? Dude!”

Actually it surprised him that Mark could make a drunk called. The last time he remembered Mark was the one who hardly get drunk among the kids no matter how many shot he took. And if Mark was drunk it meant 2 things: It’s because Jackson forced him drink all night or he was really in desperation.

Also Mark was a man full of pride. That’s why a drunk call was totally big No No for him.

“I—I don’t know, Jackson. I just drank, like a shot or two, and then I realized I was drunk at the bar he and I were used to hang out and then I didn’t know why I called him. I kinda miss him.”

Mark could sense a questioned glare coming from Jackson.

“I know it’s stupid, right?” Mark couldn’t believe himself that he did such a thing either.

“Yes you are. A pathetic-hopeless romantic-idiot.”

“Shut up, Jackson. Stop being nosey. Mind your own business.”

“Well, for your information, your ex was crying talking about your to me last night and he still loves you. So I took a hint, which is, maybe he wants me to tell you about this! You guys are my best friend, so your business is my business. THAT’S. WHAT. FRIENDS. ARE. FOR. Right?!”

Mark just gave him a random face and it made Jackson wondered,

“… or wrong?”

Without a warning Mark grasped Jackson’s shoulder and asked him briefly, “What do you mean he’s still love me? Is he really crying?”

“Yes, just like I said.”

“No, you lied.”

“No! How come I lied to you? I never lied to my Mom even once, so how can I lie to you? I love you just like I love my Mom, Man.”

He’s right. Jackson’s never lie. The conversation was bothering his mind. He tried to avoid it. But he couldn’t deny the roller-coaster feelings in his heart right now.

Mark took a step back. Shouted thank you and ran outside.

He ran like crazy in the middle of winter. All he could think was he needed to see Jinyoung. Now.

Memories started to flash in his mind like a movie without sound.

From the first time they met.

The first date.

The first rigid confession.

The first ice cream

The night they spent together.

To their first kiss.

And the big smile he gave to Mark and said, “I wish after this first kiss our story could have a happy ending. I love you, Mark and always will.”

The last flashback stopped him from running. He’s out of his breath. He just realized what a great relationship they had and how stupid he was destroying all the moments by some senseless alibi such as fall out of love.

Now he knew what he needed to do.

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“Mark? Why are you here?”

“To see you.”

“Why?”

They were at Jinyoung’s favorite coffee shop. Mark always knew where to find him since Jinyoung was so predictable. But it’s really unexpected for the younger to see him here again after they were broken up.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Tell me what?”

“Do you mind if we walk a bit?”

Jinyoung seemed a little bit unsure. He saw him breathless as sweats covered all over Mark’s face. He must be running all the way here.

“Sure.”

They were walking side by side, but nothing came from them. Mark was still silent, while the younger was wondering what is going on. Without him realized, they arrived at the playground where they were usually hung out together before debuted.

They sat on a wooden bench near a giant slide. It’s a cold evening. The wind is stronger than it has been for the last few days.

“Do you still remember?”

“What?”

“This playground and our conversation?

“Which conversation? About me ate too much at the all-you-can-eat sushi bar?”

“Haha right. You ate too much until your belly hurts and you skipped an important practice when we had a big evaluation the next day. You were really upset.” Mark chuckled remembering that day.

“Stop it. I told you not to brag about it again, Markie.”

“Oh it’s been a long time since someone called me Markie. Makes me special.”

Jinyoung stunned. He shouldn’t say it, especially in front of the person who owns the name. Awkward silence was inevitable.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“No. I’m not. What’s the purpose you brought me here anyway?”

This time Mark was stumped by his question. He was silent for a while.

“Mark?”

“I need to tell you something.”

He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes for a moment. He knew he had to do this. Otherwise, he’d just stuck in this phase forever, waiting miserably.

“Jinyoung, I’m sorry. I was so stupid.”

Deg, Jinyoung didn’t expect they would have the talk so soon. He’s not ready. An anxious feeling crept beneath his rapid heartbeats.

“You’re the only person that made me smile when I woke up every morning. You’re the reason why I was so happy to go to work eventhough I hated it. But I also had a moment when I had a breakdown and I was so tired with all the fantasies you had in me. I’m not a character from the book you read, Jinyoung. We’re both not.”

The younger still sat in his place silently. Listening to the explanation he needed to hear from long time ago. His nose was red, didn’t know if it’s because of the frozen wind or he just tried his very best to hold back his tears.

“Now I want to write my own story… with you. But this time I don’t wanna have a happy ending, because I don’t want to end it. I want it still going. Chapter after chapter. You and me. Write us.”

Mark silent for a while and again he said, “I was such an idiot to let you go. I’m so sorry.”

Mark looked down, seeing his cold hand placed on top of his thigh. He wasn’t brave enough to see the person next to him yet.

“It’s alright, Mark. I did worst.”

Mark threw his face at him; confused enough with the younger’s statement.

“What? What do you mean?”

“The worst thing I did was loving you, and you tried to end it. That’s how I know it was really over. Because you just ripped a chapter that I just want to write.”

Jinyoung suddenly stood up from his seat. He turned away to look at the person he loved for the last time.

“It’s alright, Mark. Now, move on.”

And he just left. The book was already closed.

Is this the end? Just like that?

Mark froze in his seat. All kind of feelings mixed inside his chest. He couldn’t think anymore. All he knew was he needed Jinyoung in his life.

Then he ran, grabbed the boy’s hand and hugged him from behind.

“Please stop. Listen.”

Jinyoung was taken aback by the hug. He was shocked. He can’t help it but get all nostalgic.

The warmth.

The scent.

The butterflies in his stomach.

The skipped heart-beats.

He misses it so much.

“I’m not perfect. I did my mistake and I learned from it. It’s alright if you can’t forgive me, but I will try to fix the broken chapter that I just ripped. It’s only the beginning.”

Mark held him really tight. He just didn’t wanna let go.

“How do I know if this feeling will always be there? How do I know I won’t get hurt for the second time? How do I know if you really meant what you said?”

Mark slowly loose his hug. He thought for a second and said,

“I won’t say I’ll never hurt you. I might make a mistake; I might make you scream at me. We might fight again and make up. I probably make you don’t want to be with me anymore. But even so, I’ll never give up on us. I’ll apologize. I’ll try to be a better man for you.” Tears were falling down on Mark’s cheek. He was so scared that he’d be losing him again.

And it’d be a lie if Jinyoung said there’re no butterflies flying around in his stomach right now. Only Mark could do it.

He thought he has moved on, but guess he’s wrong.

He just realized that those feelings were never moved. They’re always there. They’re running through his veins mixed with blood and didn’t fade in any circumstance.

He could feel the same feelings. He’s remembering each of their talks, laughs, giggles, arguments, everything. He got lost in the past for a second.

There wasn’t even one moment where he didn’t miss this person.

“I love you, Jinyoungie.”

That’s it.

Jinyoung suddenly turned over, and then gave a sweet kiss on Mark’s lips.

After a few seconds, he parted his lips first, then slowly said,

“I love you too Mark, and always will.”

They’re both staring into each other’s eyes for a moment. Mark gently pulled Jinyoung’s body towards him and slowly kissed his lips once again. It’s a chaste kiss at first, but it’s getting deeper and deeper like they can’t have enough of each other. The lingering kiss was long and so much warm this time.

It felt like the time was stopping. They just wanted to savor this moment and save it so they won’t forget it later.

They’re finally found their home once again.