Gift for csp_ph

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Title: make me golden

Pairings: MarkJae, teeny tiny bit of MarkJin and one surprise pairing (not Markson, don’t worry)

Word counts: 10475

Rating: T

Warnings: open ending(ish)

Note to my giftee (Beyond Birthday): It was such a journey to write this piece and I hope you enjoy the story. And apologies that it’s a bit rushed and a whole lot of messy because I crammed it all into a oneshot. Also, I kinda tweak the prompt a bit lol.

Summary: When Starlight Prince of Pensil, Mark, arrives in Hwasa to the absence of his fiancé, he is left in the care of arguably the most adorable person on Earth: Blood-prince Youngjae of Hwasa and Rhaein. Too bad he is not Mark’s fiancé.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Make me golden


 

i’ll be forever,

His Royal Highness, Starlight Prince of Pensil, Mark, arrives in Hwasa with little affairs. It is to be expected, his arrival and its purpose has been a very hush-hush thing that both countries worked tirelessly on for the last few months. But still, he arrives, as requested by the State Council and ‘Jinyoung’, with a small entourage of his own. Youngjae recognizes him and his younger sister, Princess Jamie. But the three men following them are unfamiliar to him.

Youngjae swallows to clear his nerves and moves to stand with his family as the Prince approaches them. The King greets him first, with a hug and jovial laughter, while the Queen, his mother, kisses both of the Prince’s cheeks. Her Royal Highness, Crown Princess Gyuyoung is next to greet him, along with her husband. And then it is his turn right away to greet the Starlight Prince. The absent of Jinyoung’s title and name being called out is noticed by the Prince and the empty space between him and Gyuyoung is even more glaringly obvious. Youngjae can see the questioning look in Prince Mark’s eyes when he dips into a bow.

Isn’t it grand, Youngjae thinks, that Prince Mark is here to see him, to bond with him, to build a future with him, but Jinyoung is stubbornly absent. Every member of the family is here to greet the Prince. Gyuyoung with her baby bump is here with her doting husband. Even Youngjae takes a few days off and flew in all the way from Rhaein. But Jinyoung stays true his word and stubbornly stay away.

“I hope we are not intruding with our numbers, Your Majesty.” the Prince says and Youngjae is drawn out of his thoughts. His Hwasaen is quite fluent and languid, much better than Youngjae’s own if he must admit. And that makes him feel even more out of place than he already is. It’s true that half of Youngjae is Hwasaen and he spent his childhood within these walls, but the place is a strange to him. The only thing that is even less of a home to him than this country is his own family.

Youngjae’s about to mentally compliment the Prince’s self-restrain for not asking after Jinyoung’s absence, when the Prince goes and does just that. Ask after Jinyoung. But this too is to be expected: anyone would ask if their fiancé is not there to greet them, strangers or not.

It’s an uncomfortable subject, and Youngjae can sees the reluctance in the King’s eyes to discuss it, but it is a simple one. The marriage arrangement between Hwasa and Pensil was brought up to tie both countries through more than just trades, but most importantly, it will secure Hwasa’s political power in the World Council. That’s what Hwasa does best, marrying other countries into their own to gain power. And it works. Youngjae’s the living testament of how clever Hwasa is. But Jinyoung is not like his father, who put power above love. Jinyoung is kind and genuine and loving. But he’s still a very stubborn man, a trait of the King that sticks. So he objects the marriage arrangement, refuses to sign the contract that was drawn up. The lack of Jinyoung's signature is the reason why Prince Mark is here in the first place. The State Council somehow convinced Pensil that Jinyoung wishes to know more and become intimate with the Starlight Prince before signing any contract. And even though the Prince is already deceived into being here, Jinyoung refuses to even meet the man or give him a chance.

If Youngjae were to oppose him like that, the King would’ve punish him; revokes his Hwasaen citizenship, maybe, or worse, break off the treaty between Hwasa and Rhaein. But there are privileges to be afforded when you are Jinyoung, Prince Royal, born out of love and cared for with endearment; in contrast to him, Youngjae, Blood-prince of Hwasa and Rhaein, born out of duties and obligations.

Gyuyoung sniffles before she lies through her teeth “Apologies Your Highness, but my brother has been feeling terribly sick lately, I fear he caught the flu when he accompanied me to the Temple of the Sacred Four a few days ago.”

It's smackdab in the middle of summer, what flu did Jinyoung caught? Youngjae rolls his eye in disbelief and not so subtly receives a warning glare from his mother.

The Prince, though, makes a noise of understanding and replies “I hope His Highness will be well soon. I’m very anxious to meet my fiancé in the flesh.”

Gyuyoung flashes a smile in return and dips her head. The King booms out with fake cheer “Of course, Jinyoungie was so eager to see you, but it seems that sickness got the better of him.”

The Prince smiles and Youngjae catches a glimpse of the infamous fang-like teeth when he opens his mouth. It’s absolutely fascinating, and Youngjae finds himself following the older man’s mouth with his eyes. He only just realizes how pretty his mouth is, full and pink, like blossoming flowers.

The King continues, cutting off Youngjae’s train of thoughts, “Now why don’t you allow my staffs to take you to your quarters so you and your sister can rest before joining us for dinner this evening.”

“That would be excellent, thank you.” Prince Mark replies, dipping into a bow.

-

It turns out the Prince and his staff body are given full access to the apartments in the East Wing of the Inner Palace. Youngjae, who’s staying at Shinsae Palace to the east of the Inner Palace, runs into Prince Mark and Princess Jamie when he walks across the garden to get to the main building. The Prince greets him with an open-mouth smile. Youngjae notices how his sharp teeth gleams silver in the dark and wonders if he got his title because of his teeth.

Prince Mark dips into a bow while Princess Jamie curtsies cutely, Youngjae bows in return. The older man asks “Your Royal Highness, you’re not staying at the Inner Palace?”

“Serene.” Youngjae corrects automatically and the Prince and Princess is taken aback momentarily. He clears his throat sheepishly and clarifies “My title, it’s Serene Highness, not Royal.”

His Hwasaen is stilted and heavily accented and Youngjae hates it. He wonders if the siblings can feel his estrangement to this place.

“Oh,” the Prince face falls and the Princess shifts nervously on her feet. “Apologies, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I-” Youngjae frowns “No, Your Highness, I’m not offended. Please, I’m merely correcting out of habit. It is difficult to shake off when it’s been drilled into my head to correct people when they mistake my title.”

“I see.” the Prince replies, continuing his walk and allowing her sister to loop her arm around his.

"From what I read, titles don't matter much in Hwasa." He says conversationally and Youngjae hums at that. It didn't really matter in the past, but ever since Youngjae is born, titles are everything. It could make or break you. The Prince continues thoughtfully "Perhaps the books I read are outdated."

Youngjae laughs, it's unexpectedly bitter-sounding and the Princess turns to look at him in surprise. Even Youngjae himself is surprised by it, he thought he’s over it by now, but it seems not. He says "Not so much in the past, but a mistake with titles in this day and age could land you in bad grace, Your Highness."

The Prince turns to him and raises one of his brow. It's like he's challenging Youngjae, or he's being playful, Youngjae can't tell the difference. But what Youngjae knows is that he has very fine brows. The older man asks him "Am I in your bad grace, Your Serene Highness?"

The eyes he's looking at Youngjae are twinkling blue-gold and the corner of his mouth curves up to a smirk-like smile. It’s a smile unlike any of the previous polite ones Youngjae saw. There's also a playful lilt to his voice and Youngjae giggles, realizing that the Prince is most likely teasing him. The Princess takes one look at the smirking face of her brother and looks at Youngjae oddly, like she's trying to solve something.

"I just told you I didn't take any offense, Your Highness. And please, call me Youngjae, I prefer it over my title." He says, falling into easy steps beside the siblings.

"Then you have to call me Mark, Youngjae." The older man reply, voice dipping low. The way Youngjae's name roll of his tongue is sweet, heavenly, like syrup, like fairy dust, and Youngjae swallows. He's about to reply when the Princess pipes up "And call me Jamie!"

She pokes her head to look at Youngjae again, making her brother laughs at her and jolting Youngjae out of his thoughts. He didn't know she can also speak Hwasaen. Youngjae's eyes must've widen, betraying his surprise, because she giggles cutely.

"Well, I could call you Jamie, Princess, but I don't think I could call you by your name so casually, your highness." Youngjae says to dispel his embarrassment, nodding toward the Prince. The Prince raises a fine brow again at his remarks. Youngjae's attention are drawn to his eyebrows again, they’re like bows carved out from the finest woods the Elves have to offer. Like feathers from the quietest of owls. And yet they sit so naturally on the Starlight Prince's face. Youngjae feels his cheeks heating up and rushes to explains himself "I don't think it is right to call you by your name before my brother calls you by it."

The Prince opens his mouth as if to say something but got cutoff when the Princess, Jamie, excitedly asks with hopeful eyes "Prince Jinyoung?"

Youngjae nods a confirmation and Jamie asks "Will he be there at dinner; do you think?"

Youngjae's unsure how to answer. But he's saved from lying when Prince Mark chides his sister "Jamie, you know the prince is sick."

The way he says it is kind of mocking in nature and the two of them share a meaningful look between themselves. Then the girl pouts and the tension between them is broken. Crossing her arms adorably, Jamie says "I saw his pictures online, he's terribly pretty, I just want to see with my own eyes to confirm it!"

The brother rolls his eyes fondly and fake-whispers at Youngjae "I'm terribly sorry about my sister, she's the shame of the family."

"Hey!" Jamie exclaims and Youngjae laughs.

"I can assure you, Prince Royal is extremely handsome and kind and loveable, you won't be disappointed." He says reassuringly.

"I still want to see him with my own eyes though."

Prince Mark tuts and Jamie pouts again "You're just doing that because you're gonna marry him and spend the rest of your life waking up next to the most handsome man on earth!"

"You'll be seeing a lot of him when I marry him Jamie, don't worry."

"It's not the same... I wanna see him when he's single and not infested by..." The Princess trails off and vaguely gestures at her brother. The Princes laughs and playfully slaps at her hand.

Youngjae laughs at their easy banter. He doesn't have this sort of relationship with his half-sister, and the one he has with Jinyoung also isn't this easy either. He wonders what he would be like now if he has this sort of familial love to fall back on. It's just wistful thinking on his part.

Youngjae clears his throat to get their attention and he tells Jamie "I'm sure Jinyoung will makes the time to be there if he's not terribly sick. Even if he is sick, he'll be up in no time, no sickness can keep hyung in his bed for long."

Jamie hums, seeming to accept his remark and Youngjae hopes he would be at dinner.

But it turns out, Jinyoung doesn't go to dinner. Gyuyoung also isn’t there, begging off on being pregnant and needing rest. Youngjae knows she just doesn’t want to be here though, because that woman can and will brave through a storm even when she’s ten minutes away from going into labor if she wants to. So Youngjae is stuck sitting next to the empty seat of Jinyoung’s and entertaining the Pensil Royal Siblings and his own parents. It’s actually a decent dinner, Prince Mark and Jamie are both outspoken and intellectual people. Youngjae quite enjoy their talks during dinner and he’d rule it as a great night if the King doesn’t give him meaningful looks during dinner, practically forcing him to go and persuade Jinyoung.

He doesn’t know how he could persuade Jinyoung into doing something he doesn’t to, but he still declines Prince Mark request of his company on his way back to his apartments when dinner ends. The Prince expresses his disappointment and Youngjae smiles placidly in return. He’d take walking Prince Mark and Princess Jamie to their room any day, but the King is basically glaring at him and his mother gestures urgently with a wave of her hand. So, instead of agreeing, Youngjae bows apologetically and spews out some generic excuse that he himself doesn’t even believe. He ends up knocking on the door of Jinyoung's apartment at the west side of the palace a few minutes later, his own disappointment stewing in his belly. He's also getting yelled at to off.

Youngjae clears his throat, grits his teeth and bellows "Hyung, it's me, Youngjae."

Silence for a while before the door cracks open. Jinyoung opens it wide enough to let Youngjae slips in before locking the door and bolting the bazillion locks he installed. Youngjae thinks Jinyoung's a bit much, but he knows his brother has always been a drama queen. Still, he can't help but tease "So dramatic hyung... I don't think you need that many bolts on your door.”

“You do, when you’re me, living in a room that every goddamn person has the keys to. I have no privacy whatsoever in this place.” Jinyoung complains and throws himself onto the couch in the living room hall of his apartments. He’s always such a drama queen.

“Ugh, terrible, it’s not like I can relate or anything.” Youngjae replies, teasing. Jinyoung clicks his tongue and slaps Youngjae’s butts when he goes over to take a seat. The younger makes a whining noise at the back of his throat before flopping down.

He stares at his brother reading for a while before gathering enough courage to ask "Why didn't you go and meet him during dinner this evening?"

Bit straight forward, but it’s best to be straightforward when it comes to Jinyoung. Jinyoung seemingly gives no reaction to it though, but Youngjae's attentive when it comes to his older brother, so he notices the nervous tick of his hands where he’s holding his book. He continues softly “He’s actually a very nice young man, you know. Kind, polite, outspoken and smart. Plus, he's lean and unfairly handsome."

Jinyoung is stubbornly silence.

“You’ll like him. He's your type.” Youngjae adds, and that earns him a glare. If look could kill, Youngjae would be dead a few times over already. He shrugs, going for a nonchalant feel when in fact, he's hoping Jinyoung's not putting the Evil Eye curse on him. He tries his luck and continues "I don't understand why you won't give him a chance."

Jinyoung rolls his eyes at him.

"He's the perfect gentleman, definitely your type hyung. And you, virtually, have no reason to not see him."

“I made up my mind, Youngjae, and I don’t want to hear about it. Go back to minding your own business.” Jinyoung says with a sigh, the line of his mouth is stubborn. The look Jinyoung gives him allows no room for argument, but Youngjae is the kid brother for a reason so he stares right back. He pushes on just as stubbornly "Seriously hyung, it's not like you're in a relationship or anything, so why are you so stubborn about this. Just go meet him, you'll like him."

This makes Jinyoung sits up from his reclined position and says coldly "You can see yourself out if you have nothing else to say to me.”

And he's pushing himself off of the couch. Oh, Youngjae thinks belatedly, finally understanding why Jinyoung is so stubborn and headstrong on this matter.

Jinyoung, unlike the King, would never put power above love.

"Why did you say nothing then?" Youngjae asks, voice small, and Jinyoung turns to look at him with anger simmering underneath his eyes.

"Say it to who? Father?" Jinyoung asks, voice loud and cracking at the edge. Youngjae swallows, knowing that he has pushed too far. The elder continues just as bristly "You think he would listen? He married your mother less than a year after my mother's death and had you, all so he could secure Hwasa's political power over Rhaein. What makes you think he'd accept me being in love as a reason to not have political ties with Pensil?"

This time, it is Youngjae's turned to be bristled. He knows Jinyoung's word are meant to cut. His brother is mean when he is angry, but still, Youngjae takes a deep breath and calms himself before he replies levelheadedly "Hyung, the King loves you. You should at least reason with him. You can't hide away from Prince Mark forever. And you can't hurt yourself, and your lover, like this. Please, you need to confront this problem head o-"

"Shut up Youngjae." Jinyoung cuts him off, face completely shut off and eyes hard "We might be half-brothers, but you would never understand my struggle. Because that's what you are, half of this house. You have no duties, no obligations to this country, to this household. You have the titles and nothing else, you're free to do whatever you're pleased. So don't you dare lecture me on how I handle my life."

Youngjae is left speechless, eyes wet and mouth gaping uselessly as he tries to reign in his ugly thoughts.

He is half of this house; he wants to shout that phrase back at Jinyoung, throw a tantrum, fight, be petulant. He only has the title and nothing else. Then Jinyoung should know that he does not even has the love of the man who is his father, nor the warmth of the woman who should be his caring sister. And it seems that Youngjae also doesn't have the understanding of the man who should be his brother and closest friend.

Instead he swallows and reminds himself that Jinyoung's mouth works faster than his head when he is angry. And he can get very mean, when he's angry. So Youngjae takes another deep breath, his chest stuttering, to calm himself. He wants to say something nice and reassuring to his brother but he can't, not when his throat is thick with a chocked sob, so he just tries to clear his throat and picks up his tattered self with as much dignity as he could muster. When he chances a glance at Jinyoung, his brother's eyes are red-rimmed and his chest is heaving.

Youngjae swallows nervously and bows, then he sees himself out.

-

Thank god for small mercy that Youngjae didn't break down crying on his way back to Shinsae Palace.

-

The next morning, Youngjae wakes up to twenty plus messages from Yugyeom. They are mostly updates on the going-on of the Sanctuary: a few lighthearted gossip about the staff, a jab at how Jaebum is a grumpy grandpa without Youngjae there to cheer him up and a few updates on the dragon hatchlings. There’s also a picture of a small scaly dragons, with eyes barely opened, and Youngjae smiles fondly at that as he enjoys a stroll in the garden to clear his head. He scrolls down further to see the final message from Yugyeom: How was your day hyung? Did you have fun? Did you get to see Jinyoung? Is the Starlight Prince as perfect as the media makes him out to be?

Youngjae frowns. He doesn’t remember telling Yugyeom about Prince Mark’s visitation to Hwasa. He’s about to type a question, asking where Yugyeom heard about from, when he hears his name being called. He turns to the source to see Prince Mark waving at him from the garden in front of his apartments. Youngjae bows and greets “Your Highness,”

“Mark.” the man corrects instinctively with a fond smile on his lips. Youngjae merely smiles in return. The older gestures toward his table. Youngjae notices how it’s only set up for one. The Prince says “Sit with me, I'm in dire need of companionship.”

Youngjae inclines his head in agreement and waits for the servant to bring him a chair. While he waits, he says matter-of-factly “I see the Princess isn’t here today.”

Prince Mark smiles sadly “Jamie flew back this morning, and I’m terribly lonely.”

“Oh,” Youngjae exclaims, finally sitting down “So soon?”

“She still has her study to worry about.” he replies “I wouldn’t want her to take leave from classes just because I need company in a foreign country.”

Youngjae hums in understanding and says “Well, I’m free this afternoon. I can take you on a tour of the Palace if it pleases you.”

The Prince’s eyebrow quirks up with excitement and replies “Anywhere with you would pleases me, Youngjae.”

Youngjae feels his chest stuttered with excitement.

“I can’t stand to look at the dead faces of those two again” Prince Mark continues after a while, gesturing toward the two males standing a bit behind him under the shade. The lean one with milky white hair looks at him strangely, his sparkling purple eyes unsettles Youngjae. Youngjae laughs his unease away and tells the Prince “I’ll take you to all the places Prince Royal loves to visit.”

Prince Mark smiles, pleased, and Youngjae’s heart warms.

-

Youngjae ends up taking the Prince to visit the Library and walks him toward the alcove that Jinyoung basically claimed as his own. He shows him how Jinyoung likes to sit when he reads and what his thinking face looks like. Then he shows Jinyoung’s personal collection to the Prince, tells him about what his kind of genre his brother enjoys reading, what kind of discussion he likes to have about the books he read. Throughout all of it, Prince Mark remains silent, the smile never leaving his lips as he looks at Youngjae. Youngjae can’t tell what that look actually means but it makes his stomach feel funny and he blushes more time than not when he catches the Prince’s eyes on him.

At the end of it, the Prince asks “What about you Youngjae?”

“What?” Youngjae asks, taken aback, basically frozen mid walk. The sun is setting, he realizes belatedly, as the dim light casts golden rays into the hall of the library. The coloring of it makes the blue-gold of Prince Mark’s eyes even more beautiful than it already it. Youngjae wonders how someone so beautiful and divine actually exist.

“What’s your favorite book, Youngjae?”

“I-” Youngjae is at lost for words. He absolutely does not expect the Prince to ask that question. He prepared a million answers about Jinyoung, and yet the Prince defied all expectations and asks Youngjae about himself. He feels self-conscious when he replies a bit too truthfully “I’m not so sure...”

The Prince hums, it’s a raw and throaty sound and Youngjae feels his mouth going dry. Finally, the elder replies “I’d love to know what kind of books you like to read. You’re such an interesting person, Youngjae, and I’d like to know more about you.”

Youngjae laughs, the sound bouncing of the windows and arches of the Library “I’m terribly boring, Your Highness. I live an extraordinary normal life and work an extraordinary normal job at an animal sanctuary in Rhaein.”

“You don’t live here?” The Prince asks, frowning, and Youngjae shakes his head with a smile. He tells the elder “No. I have a residence here, but my home is in Rhaein.”

“I see.” Prince mark mumbles “It must be very difficult for you, to be of two different countries like this.”

Youngjae is taken aback at what he just said. Nobody ever express such a sentiment with him, not even Jaebum. Everybody just expected that as he is of both countries, that he has it easy. They don’t really think about the fact that Youngjae is of Royal blood, but he is not a Working Royal. He is a member of both Royal Families, but he doesn’t enjoy the extravagance that comes with it. Youngjae’s forbidden from pursuing Politics and Military. He's forbidden from voting and expressing his opinion about the ongoing of both countries. He receives no allowance, no inheritance, no rights to the throne, and yet he’s expected to attend every Royal Events that is demanded of him from both side of his family. It’s difficult to balance most of the time, but it’s not like he can complain.

Mark might not know about his little struggles in life, but it still feels good to have someone knows that he struggles despite the silver spoon in his mouth.

The smile on Youngjae's lips is sad when he replies "It is what it is."

The Prince tentatively move closer to him and snakes an arm around his waist, rubbing soothing circle against the expanse of his lower back. Youngjae jumps in his own skin, startled at the sudden intimacy. He tries to inches away but the pat that Mark is giving him is too soothing, too gentle, too kind. The look on the Prince’s face is just as soft and understanding and he whispers softly “You look like you need some comfort.”

Youngjae’s surprised once again, with how attentive and fine-tuned Mark is to his emotion. He ducks his head and mumbles back a soft thank you.

-

That evening, Jaebum calls. The elder updates him on the process of welcoming a new hatchling into their Sanctuary. The dragon will be there in three days, just in time to welcome Youngjae home. Youngjae smiles at that, happy with the prospect of taking care of a new dragon. He loves the ones they have at the sanctuary now, but they’re all full grown adult dragons now and have the tendency to knock him into the trees when they get too excited. And of course, he complains of Yugyeom, typical Jaebum really, he’s always teasing the youngest. But he oddly, he speaks of how quiet and sad Yugyeom has been the entire day.

“He just had this sad look in his eyes, Youngjae-ah. I spot him staring into the middle distance many times this afternoon. Nearly drove into a tree because he was zoning out!” Jaebum exclaims “It’s like he’s heartbroken.”

Youngjae hums and then he remembers something from this morning: Yugyeom’s text. So he asks “Oh, speaking of Gyeomie, I wanted to ask, did you tell him about the Starlight Prince?”

“What?” Jaebum asks right back. Youngjae reckons he’s extremely surprised. He’s just as surprised. Because the only two people in Rhaein that knows about the situation with Jinyoung and the Starlight Prince are Jaebum and Youngjae. And Jaebum only knows because Jinyoung, being Jaebum’s ultimate best friend of all time, spilled to him. It’s honestly to be expected really, Jinyoung can’t keep anything from Jaebum.

“I- well, he asked about the Prince this morning in his text... I presumed...” Youngjae trails off “Well I mean who else would he know it from? I didn’t tell him anything, so you’re the only left...”

Jaebum is silent on the other end so Youngjae rushes to explain “I’m not mad or anything, just didn’t know you like to gossips.”

Jaebum laughs, neither confirming nor negating, so Youngjae reckons it’s true. And the conversation seems to die down from there. Youngjae’s about to say goodbye when Jaebum surprises him with a question “And what’s he like? The Prince.”

“I-” a deep breath. How does he answer that question? Does he start with Mark’s intelligence? His twinkling eyes? His kindness? His pink lips? His lovely, melodic voice? The power and prestige he emits by just existing?

How does he even begin to describe someone so kind, so understanding, so infinitely beautiful inside out?

-

The next day, Youngjae visits the East Wing early in the morning to go and keep the Starlight Prince company. It’s not his responsibility, but Jinyoung is his brother and Mark is supposed to be his brother-in-law... He does feel a bit guilty to a certain degree. Plus, the Prince is such a joy to be around, a great conversationalist and a very entertaining company. It’s refreshing, Youngjae enjoys being in his companionship quite a lot if he’s being honest. But, but, he’s entirely here because of Jinyoung. He even plans out a trip up High Garden to the Temple of Sacred Four and he’s definitely gonna regale the Prince with the tales of Jinyoung’s apprenticeship under the high priest. But it turns out, Mark is missing.

One of his staffs, the tall one with milk-white hair, not the buffy looking one, welcomes him into the sitting room without question.

“His Highness is out for a run at the moment.” the man says by way of explanation “I’m sure he would’ve stayed in if he knows that Your Highness is coming over.”

“It’s quite alright, I’m the one who showed up unannounced. I thought I could keep him company while I’m still here since my brother is... unavailable.”

The man, pouring tea, is looking at him strangely again; his eyes flashing purple in their assessment. Youngjae clears his throat and shifts in his seat, feeling like a schoolboy. The man gives him the cup of tea with a wave of his hand. Youngjae accepts the tea with a bit of wonder. He takes care of dragons for a living and works with a few wizard during his career, but seeing magic happening in front of him in real time, and so close, is still a wonder to him.

The man offers him a smile and replies to him “And my Prince appreciate every single moment spent with you, Your Highness.”

Youngjae nearly chokes on his tea. He’s aware of how much he’s blushing right now.

“I-” Youngjae stutters when he attempts to reply, the he clears his throat and tries again only to end up stuttering. The man is scrutinizing him now, eyes unblinking, so Youngjae takes another sip to disguise his embarrassment and changes the subject completely “I didn’t know Prince Mark has a wizard under his employment.”

The man inclines his head and says “Not a wizard, Your Highness. My practice of magic is passable, really. My... talents are better served as Starlight Prince’s personal assistant.”

Youngjae makes a noise like he understands when his brain is actually hooked on the word ‘talents’. What kind of talents does this man have to offer, he wants to ask, but doesn’t, because that would be rude and intrusive.

A few moment of awkwardness between them where the man keeps looking at him until the front door bursts open and the Prince jogs in, his sport shirt soaked through with sweat. His breathing is short and labored, face flushed a pretty bright pink and mouth sheening with sweat. Youngjae swallows.

The Prince approaches him and says “Youngjae! I came running back as fast as I could!”

“I-  Oh!” Youngjae is a bit confused “You didn’t have too.”

“I want too.” Mark replies with and inclination of his head, pulling his shirt up to wipe the sweat on his face. Youngjae doesn’t mean to, but his eyes stray downward toward the dips of his belly and the curves of his hipbones and oh... that’s the trial that leads to his... Youngjae turns his head away to the side to see Mark’s personal assistant looking at Youngjae knowingly. He flushes, turns back, making sure that his eyes are up this time, and gets an eyeful of the smooth expanse of Mark’s chest and his pretty pink s. Youngjae thinks the God is testing him.

He gets to his feet abruptly, startling Mark, and sloshing the tea onto his shirt. What a complete ing klutz he is, and right in front of such a beautiful, articulate person too.

Youngjae clears his throat and says “Well, if Your Highness is busy then I’ll just get going then.”

“Call me Mark,” Mark says with a pout, pausing his activity but not letting his shirt down. Youngjae really, really wish he’d put his shirt down. For Youngjae’s sanity, if nothing else. “And please, stay with me. I’d love to spend every moment with you, as long as you allow it.”

Youngjae’s face is positively burning by now. He’s not sure if this is the kind of thing Pensil’s people go around saying casually, but this is verging on flirtation. But then, Mark is supposed to be his brother’s financé. God, he’s probably reading too much into it.

“Oh, your shirt,” Mark steps closer, finally putting his shirt down but his fingers are reaching out to touch the tea stain on Youngjae’s belly “it’s ruined.”

He hopes to god Mark can’t feel his skin vibrating with excitement.

“I’m sure one of Prince Mark’s shirts will fit you nicely, Your Highness.” The personal assistant says, too helpful for his own good. Youngjae blushes and denies “No, it’s quite alright, I could just go back and change while His Highness freshens up.”

“Nonsense.” Mark says, tugging on his wrist “Bambam is right, my shirt will do just fine.”

His fingers softly travel down the back of Youngjae’s hand like a lover’s touch and he continues “Come along, I’ll find you a shirt, we’ll freshen up, and then we’ll do whatever you have installed for us today.”

He’s smiling so brightly, so kindly, and Youngjae finds himself following Mark to the bedroom.

-

Turns out, the Prince’s shirt really does fit him nicely. Although, it’s a bit skin-tight considering the fact that he’s a bit buffier than the Prince himself. Youngjae catches the Prince eying him with intent during their climb up High Garden as they’re on their way up to the Temple of Sacred Four.

By the time Youngjae has the courage to make a remark about Mark’s staring, it’s when then finally decide to succumb to their hunger and take lunch under the tree. Youngjae thinks the staffs are probably cursing at them under their breath for making them carry the food and supplies around their exploration of the hill.

“I like seeing you in my clothes.” Mark replies, slender fingers dabbing a tissue at the corner of his full bloom lips. Youngjae blushes at that. It’s like Mark is deliberately flirting with him. But his face is so... normal though. Eyes twinkling like usual, lips in a perpetual smile. Like he’s stating a simple fact.  

But he’s Jinyoung’s fiancé, he reminds himself, and rolls his eyes to hide his embarassment. The Prince shrugs, and leans down onto his back. Youngjae hums contently, watching the staff packing things up and sending them back to the palace. He waves them away when they’re finished, leaving only him and Mark and Mark’s loyal bodyguard.

It’s so peaceful and quiet, sharing a moment of silence with someone you find very agreeable. Youngjae smiles, leaning back on his hand; he wishes he could have this for a bit longer.

“I’d like to spend tomorrow going to the places that you love, Youngjae.” The Prince says suddenly, looking up from his sleeping position. Youngjae looks down to see him looking at Youngjae meaningfully. There’s a secret hidden in the curves of his lips and the twinkling of his blue-gold eyes. Like this, spread out and content on the silky sheet, Mark looks like a feast spread out for a King.

Youngjae replies “I’ll be flying back home tomorrow morning.”

“Oh,” the Prince lets out with a disappointed look as he pushes himself into a sitting position. His movement, they’re so languid and poised, every muscle is fluid like a fine tuned piano. “so soon?”

Youngjae’s contained smile seems to be the answer he needs and he continues “I looked forward to spending my days here with you.”

Youngjae looks down at his hand, at lost for words, and looks back up again when the Prince moves into his personal space. He moves backward a bit and offers “Well, I know a beautiful place where we go can watch the sunset.”

“Is it a place that you like to spend your time in?” Mark asks. Youngjae really doesn’t understands why he’s so fixated on what kind of books Youngjae likes to read, or what kind of food he enjoys or the places he visits the most. Youngjae simply shrugs by way of answering and Mark’s cheerful smile returns. He pulls Youngjae on to his feet and says “Then let’s go. Lead the way, my Prince.”

And Youngjae leads him back up the hill, but this time he tugs Mark into the direction of the Singing Tower. They’re at the top of the tower just in time for the sun to start setting.

“The view is absolutely gorgeous.” Youngjae says, after they’d settle down on the balcony, basking in the evening sunray “I don’t think it changes at all, since Jinyoung-hyung brought me here the first time.”

“Again,” Mark mumbles, exasperated. Youngjae turns to see Mark staring at him intensely. “why does it always go back to Prince Jinyoung?”

He’s frowning, Youngjae notices, and then he’s sighing before he looks out toward the sun.

“I’m sorry” Youngjae says quietly “I don’t know what to talk about besides my brother, he’s the reason why we’re here at all.”

Mark turns back, eyes intense and burning like liquid gold. He replies earnestly “We can talk about you.”

His eyes are genuine, kind, like he really wants to know. Like Youngjae matters. So the younger asks in return, dizzy with Mark’s kindness and understanding “What is it about me that you’d like to know?”

“Everything.” Mark replies, leaning in to peers into his eyes, and Youngjae leans in in return and tells Mark of who he is.

They spend that evening with their heads bent into each other sharing their lives secret with one another and sharing their thoughts and dreams. They’re more alike than Youngjae could imagine. Youngjae hasn’t feel this kind of intimacy and kinship with anyone in a long, long time.

-

That night, the King and the Queen invite them both over for dinner at the Inner Palace. Gyuyoung’s there with her husband, sitting opposite of Youngjae and Mark. Jinyoung’s chair is absent and Youngjae resists the urge to glare and throws a tantrum. Youngjae refuses to stoop to Jinyoung’s level of childishness.

Mark pulls out a chair for him, earning a raised brow from Gyuyoung. Youngjae nods thankfully and pointedly avoid everyone’s curious glances. Dinner’s spent with amicably conversations, with Mark expressing his gratitude for the hospitalities and the company that Youngjae provides for him.

“Then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if our Youngjae here keeps you company for a while longer?” the Queen asks with a soft smile and the Prince smiles politely back. He inclines his head and replies “Of course not Your Majesty. I’d love to spend my days with Youngjae as long as he is willing to spend his with mine.”

“He’s still sick?” Youngjae grits out.

“Unfortunately... You know how our brother is with the flu, Youngjae-ah.” Gyuyoung reminds him, as if it’s something he should know. Youngjae doesn’t know how Jinyoung is with the flu. He hasn’t spent more than a week in the country for more than ten goddamn years. He doesn’t know. Still, he can’t say anything so he just nods and smiles through it as the King explains how Jinyoung is still sick. And then his mother is telling him how he should stay over for a while more, to keep Starlight Prince company just until Jinyoung recovers from his sickness.

“Until when?” Youngjae asks. He didn’t mean too, really. He doesn’t. He’s just so tired of lying and covering up for something that Jinyoung is so childishly avoiding and causing trouble.

Gyuyoung literally glares at him and his mother reprimands him from her side of the table. Youngjae sighs, jaw tightening. When he looks toward Mark, the man is staring at him with intent, eyes golden and smoldering and Youngjae’s hold on his fork loosens.

“Well, I’ll go visit brother for a bit, see how he’s doing. He’s never been a weak person but he’s been sick for an awfully long time, it worries me.” Youngjae announces, pushing his chair out from under the table. The King looks at him with fire in his eyes while his mother simply sighs. He inclines his head at Mark, hoping that his smile is genuine, as he stands up. He’s about to walk away when Mark grabs his wrist, fingers rubbing gently on his skin. It’s oddly intimate, and Youngjae’s 100% certain that Gyuyoung is scrutinizing and cataloguing their interaction.

“Take me with you Jae-ah, I’d like to go see how Prince Jinyoung is fairing as well.” Mark says with a small smile and Youngjae swears to god the dining hall just turn muted. Gyuyoung looks absolutely horrified before she trips over her own words to say “Oh, I don’t think that would be a good idea. He wouldn’t let you in no matter what.”

“True,” Youngjae agrees. “I mean, you’re his...” Youngjae’s hand flounders about briefly “fiancé, and I’m sure he doesn’t want you to see him all sickly and weak. He’d be too embarassed. He’d want your first meeting to be perfect.”

The Prince looks at him for a minute, head angling to the side as if considering him. He hopes to god the Prince would buy his lie. And it seems that he does, because he lets go of Youngjae’s wrist as he smiles, eye blinking beautifully, before he turns back to his dinner.

Youngjae doesn’t know when he gets so good at lying.

-

Youngjae ends up banging angrily on the door to Jinyoung’s apartment. He shouts, anger barely contained “I know you’re in there hyung!”

Angry banging, and Youngjae shouts again “Get the out and face your problem!”

Another bout of banging and screaming and the door creaks open. Youngjae breathes in to calm himself, a long angry rant on the tip of his tongue, only to have that facade of calmness explodes when he sees Wonpil, his brother’s personal assistant, instead. He grits his teeth and squeezes out “Where the is my brother?”

“His Highness is resting.” Wonpil replies “It’s been a... tiring day for him.”

“Tiring?” Youngjae asks, disbelieved, before he laughs madly. “What the did he do? Spent his day doing?”

“Prince Youngjae,” Wonpil says, like he’s reprimanding Youngjae “I would appreciate it if you would stop cursing and leave. You’re distressing Prince Royal.”

“I’ll get the out once I get to talk to him.” Youngjae replies, biting.

“You can say all you need to say out here, Your Serene Highness, but Prince Royal will not be out here to talk to you.” the personal assistant replies, the title sounds like an insult more than anything else.

“Oh, I can say all I need out here huh. Okay, I can do that.” Youngjae replies before he turns to shout at the door again “Grow the up and get out of your room to face your problems. My life doesn’t revolve around fixing your problem. You said it yourself, I’m half this ing household. I have no duties, no responsibilities, no allowance, no love, no inheritance, no understanding. I only have my titles and nothing else!”

Youngjae is shaking by the time he’s down, his heart is pounding away in his chest and he fears he might double over with how angry he is. Wonpil is looking at him with less disdain and more concern but Youngjae ignores him and continues with his hoarsed voice “I am your half-brother, it’s not my responsibilities to keep your fiancé entertained and happy. It is yours, Prince Royal. I have a goddamn life to live and a job to get to!”

And then he’s stalking out of the West Wing before he breaks down crying outside of Jinyoung’s apartments. This is the second time in less than a week that Jinyoung makes him want to cry. Hwasa really does bring out the worst in him.

-

When he calls Jaebum to tell him about his ‘delay’, he got yelled at by Jaebum. But the elder is quick to apologize, explaining that he’s angry at Jinyoung’s selfishness more than anything. Youngjae simply grunts out an agreement and hangs up before going to bed with puffy red eyes.

-

The next morning, Youngjae walks down the stair to see Mark sitting on his couch and leafing through the journal he left on the table. It should be alarming how the doormen just let Mark walks into Shinsae Palace so casually, but it feels so satisfying, so right, to see Mark amongst the things that he owns.

Mark looks up from the article and raises a brow at him coyly. Belatedly, he notices the state he’s in: thin white sleeping gown and a boxer short with no shirt on. He pulls the robe shut and his lips. He asks, going for nonchalance “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to make sure you’re still here and didn’t run off back to Rhaein.” Mark teases as he puts the journal down and approaches Youngjae. He pulls the lapel of Youngjae’s sleeping gown together, closing off his chest from public viewing. Youngjae swears to god Mark is smirking as he pats Youngjae’s chest comfortingly when he continues “You were terribly upset last night. If I didn’t know, I’d say you were eager to get away from me.”

Youngjae sputters before he stumbles over his word “I- No! That’s”

Mark is full on smirking now and Youngjae clears his throat, willing his blush to go down. He takes a step back and maneuvers his way around the Prince to get to his kitchen. He replies with a sniff “Well, we’re welcoming a new baby dragon into our sanctuary tomorrow and I’ve been looking forward to it.”

Mark looks surprised, miffed even, and follows him into the kitchen to accuse “You said you have an extraordinarily normal job!”

Youngjae laughs and says “It’s true! I’m an animal caregiver!”

Mark leans his hips against the counter, the scene is oddly domestic and Youngjae turns to his coffee machine. The Prince says “A dragon caregiver.”

Youngjae laughs again. The Prince continues “I’ve always wanted to ride a dragon.”

Youngjae huffs and turns to reprimand “Your Highness!”

“Still calling me ‘Your Highness’ I see.” Mark remarks.

Youngjae shrugs “It wouldn’t be right to call you by your name when Jinyoung still hasn’t even met you.”

“At this point,” Mark looks at him knowingly “I don’t think I’ll be meeting Prince Royal.”

Youngjae casts his eyes down and turns to busy himself with the coffee machine.

“Do you want to see me beg?” Mark asks suddenly and Youngjae nearly slips on his feet twirling around to stare at the older man. He squeaks out, shocked “What?”

“Should I get on my hands and knees and beg just for you to call my name?”

“No!” That would be outrageous. An insult to his station.

“Then call me Mark before I get on my knees. I’m not above begging to get what I want.”

Still, Youngjae is hesitant. Then Mark lowers himself as if to kneel and Youngjae rushes forward to grab him by the shoulder and practically shout “Mark!” into his face.

The laughter he receives in return is jovial, genuine, he leans into Youngjae’s personal space until their breaths are mingling. Any closer and their eyelashes will touch and Youngjae pushes away, cheeks aflamed. The older says with a smirk “I should’ve gotten on my knees begging for it since day one.”

Youngjae is positive Mark is deliberately torturing him with his flirtatious nature.

-

They spend the next few days becoming close acquaintances. At one point, Youngjae stop seeing it as an obligation and more of a mundane part of his life, keeping Mark company. He looks forward to seeing Mark and learning more about him and what he wants to do it life. They talked about it, what they would be doing if they were allowed the freedom they want. They’re much more similar than they thought. And Youngjae finds himself falling with every curve of understanding on his lips and every dips of his head.

The line between Mark, Jinyoung’s supposed fiancé, and Mark, acquaintance, friend, crush, is blury.

That’s why, on day three, after a tiring day of horseback riding at Jinyoung’s favored range, Youngjae brought Mark into Shinsae Palace and cooks up dinner for both of them, dismissing the staff. Mark put on a terribly romantic music, from the sound of the melody, but Youngjae can’t be sure. It’s in Pensil’s tongue. Youngjae has yet to learn it. Maybe he should, he thinks Mark will be happy if he starts speaking to him in Pensil.

Mark is watching him again, with that odd twinkling in his eyes, before he approaches Youngjae as he cooks. He’s only aware of Mark when he’s finally crowding Youngjae against the kitchen counter. Youngjae feels himself tensing up and asking, with a hint of anticipation “What are you doing?”

Mark simply hums and rests his chin on Youngjae’s shoulder, his lips pressed against Youngjae’s nape. It’s quiet and comfortable, the music is soft and lulling, perfect for the mood; and Youngjae leans back, contented. After a while, Mark says “I know about Prince Jinyoung’s unwillingness to meet me.”

Youngjae feels like he’s burnt, he whirls around and pushes at Mark. He asks “Then why do you insist on all of this then? Do you like being deceived?”

Mark looks at him confused “I like you.”

Youngjae feels the air knocked out of his lungs.

“Just as much as you like me.” Mark mumbles and dives in to plant a kiss on Youngjae’s cheek. And then the soft flower of his lips move toward Youngjae’s lips and the younger leans away, heart aching.

“I-No,” Youngjae’s voice is shaky and unconvincing “no, we can’t. You- We can’t.”

“We could.” Mark insists “Changes could be made to the proposal. Prince Royal haven’t sign on anything.”

“I can’t. I can’t. I don’t.” Youngjae insists in return, practically begging. “You’re to be married to my brother, I can’t, I can’t.”

Mark storms out of Shinsae Palace to Youngjae’s mantra of ‘can’t’s and ‘don’t’s and soup burning on the stove.

-

The next morning, Jinyoung is waiting for him in the sitting room with an apology right on his lips. Youngjae finds himself guilty, rather than angry. He should tell Jinyoung of what transpired between him and Mark last night, but he is scared. He wants to keep Mark all to himself, whatever piece of him that he is allowed.

Youngjae is toing the line between awkward and anger with his brother when the door bursts open and Mark’s voice booms “Youngjae, I want us to talk about last night!”

Him and Jinyoung turns on their seat to see Mark, stunned. Still, Mark inclines his head with a confused smile and remarks “Highness, it seems you’ve recovered from your bout of flu.”

Jinyoung is confused for a moment before he smiles and gets to his feet “Yes, it would seem so.” He bows and greets “Apologies for keeping you waiting, Your Highness.”

Mark dips into a bow, takes Jinyoung’s hand into his own and kisses the tips of his fingers. He looks up at Jinyoung through his eyelashes, pupils a swirl of magical blue and gold, lips stretching into a full bloom smile.

The feather-like eyelashes that kissed his cheeks last night.

The molten lava of blue and gold that looked into his and promised kindness and understanding.

The petal lips that touched his ear and whispered their secrets into the skin of Youngjae’s neck.

‘Oh.’ Youngjae thinks to himself as he looks at the two of them eyeing one another tentatively. Beautiful, majestic, surreal. Perfect. The ultimate couple. Like feathers against soft skin, like sunshine dancing on water, like the smell of fresh snow at the end of autumn.

How dare he, Youngjae thinks to himself again, how dare he has the audacity to love this glorious man. To even think of this beautiful, wonderful man in such a light. To dream about sharing his thoughts and touching his skin and kissing his lips.

And to Jinyoung, his own flesh and blood. The betrayal. The shame. The disgust he feels toward himself.

He has no place in all of this.

-

Youngjae leaves Hwasa that morning with only the clothes on his back. Even those are reminder enough of Mark, of his shame, of his guilt, of his sin

-

-

will you be mine?

Knowing Mark, loving him. It’s an experience.

Not life-changing, no; it was intense, passionate, full of compassion and understanding and kindness, but it was shortlived. Still, Youngjae is sure it’s impact will last his lifetime. He is sure that he will live with a bleeding heart and when he steps back into Hwasa, every inches of it will remind him of Mark.

The couch that Mark sat on, eyes following Youngjae’s steps as he flits around the kitchen. These are the forks they used, the spoon they shared, the glasses they drank from, laughing over a passable dinner Youngjae cooked up.

The temple where he clasped his hands together and pray while Youngjae looked at him, greedily drank in the beautiful sight of him. These are the marbles he knelt on beside Mark as they received blessing from the High Priestess. The stain glass windows that cast a beautiful, colorful afterglow on Mark’s shiny skin.

The eyebrows that Youngjae admires, in every curving branches of the trees in High Garden. The kindness in his eyes when he looks at Youngjae in every sunset that casts its ray over Hwasa. The gentleness of his voice in the soft rustling of every leaves.

Every syllables of Hwasaen that is spoken to him from here on out, they will be sultry and melodious, like molten gold, like star dust, like the blooming flowers of Mark’s lips.

But over time, he’ll get over it. Maybe. Eventually. He’ll get over it. One day, he’ll start smiling genuinely again when he sees Mark, when he thinks of Mark. One day, it will be a memory that he’ll remember wtih fondness, rather than bitterly, with anger and shame. But for now, he’ll tend to his dragons, he’ll think of Mark and remembers their companionship for the past few days and he will be bitter and happy and angry and ashamed.

Youngjae thinks he’s allowed at least that much.

-

When Youngjae goes in to work the very next day, Jaebum notices right away. He’s waiting in the dragon’s pen at the end of the day, when Youngjae brings the new baby dragon back into her nest. He sidles up next to Youngjae and says “It seems like we have another broken hearted employee to take care of.”

Youngjae frowns, Jaebum is too attentive for his own good, and ignores the older in favor of rubbing his hands on the baby dragon’s head. He thinks he did quite a good job trying not to be sad, but seems like he isn’t that much of a good actor if Jaebum picks up on it and ambushes him at the end of work just to speak about it.

“It’s normal to be completely charmed, you know.” Jaebum says after a while “Jinyoung did say he’s an exceedingly outspoken and attractive man.”

Youngjae turns to glare at him.

“It is not.” He feels tears prickling in the corner of his eyes “It is not. He is supposed to be my brother’s fiancé. How could I be so weak, so stupid?”

Jaebum takes in a shaky breath alongside him and pulls him into a hug. The hand he has cradling Youngjae’s back reminds him of Mark’s slender fingers and the pressing warmth of his palm.

When Youngjae cries into his shoulder, Jaebum quietly shushes him and soothes his hair.

-

A few days later, Mark visits.

Youngjae’s in the middle of feeding the new baby dragon when his radio cackles unpleasantly. The hatchling in his arms sniffles at the annoying sound and he bounces her lightly, cooing and dropping a few kisses before he sits down and transfers the creature onto his laps. When he answers, it’s Jaebum; telling him that he has a visitor and insists on being secretive when Youngjae asks who the visitor is. So imagined his surprised, elation, anguish, nervousness, heartbreaks, when he steps into his office to see Mark sitting in the visitor seat in front of his desk.

“Mark-” Youngjae breathes out, like a sigh of relieve, like Mark’s name settles his heart. The older man’s lips stretch into a happy smile, moving off the chair and expanding his arms as if to welcome Youngjae into a hug. And that’s when Youngjae catches himself. He could never have this from Mark. Never. Never. He bends at the waist with a hand over his heart and corrects himself “Your Highness.”

When Youngjae straightens and look at him, Mark’s face is stony, closed-off; like he’s angry, like he’s sad, like he’s heartbroken. It’s a jumbled mess of emotion and Youngjae feels himself tugged in all direction. Youngjae clears his throat and asks to try and dispel the tension between them “What are you doing here?”

The language is a bit informal, a touch of intimacy dripping into his voice. It seems that it is hard to go back to being strangers when you’ve shared your life stories, your emotions and poured your heart out with one another.

Mark refuses to sit back down, poker face still on and a hand on the back of the chair, the grip he has on it is punishing. Youngjae’s eyes flit away and his hands busy themselves with the useless task of riffling through the documents on his desk.

"To visit." Mark replies "Jinyoung wanted to cone."

"Then shouldn't you be with him?" Youngjae asks bitterly. Everythung between them always cycles it way back to Jinyoung. Youngjae makes the unfortunate mistake of looking up. Mark's eyes are boring into his soul, stripping him off of his defense.

"We thought it's best to spend time with people we actually love before we do move forward. So he goes to Yugyeom and I come to you."

Youngjae's breathe hitches but he refuse to be weak, refuses to give in to his audaciousness. He refuses to repeat his mistake and be a shame again. So he straightens his back and says "Well, as you can see, I'm a very busy man, Your Highness. I'm afraid I can't spare my time for you. Good day."

Mark tugs on his wrist and pulls him in by the waist when Youngjae moves toward the door to make for his escape. The hand on his wrist travels up to rest on his forearm. The heat of his fingers seeps through the white work shirt and into Youngjae's skin. Youngjae's own hands snakes up to rest on Mark's chest, trying to push himself away from the other.

The elder asks, face contorted with hurt "Why are you being so difficult? I know you like me just as much as I like you."

"It's an infatuation."  Youngjae hisses out, hands spread out ob the expanse of Mark's chest. Younghae continues "It will pass."

The heart beneath his palms beat wildly, angry and hurt and Mark asks "You really believe so?"

Youngjae replies "Yes! You will marry my brother, I will see you and you will see me when duty demands it and it will pass. In the end, it will just be a memory you barely recall and that will all there is to it."

“I could marry you.” Mark breathes out softly, gently, like the word would break Youngjae.

“You can’t.” Youngjae replies, he might be sobbing a bit, but his eyes aren’t blurry so he isn’t sure. But then, the lump in his throat is too thick and his chest hurts too hard for him to not be crying. “You can’t.” he repeats “My station. My being doesn’t allow it. I am of Hwasa and Rhaein, I am of two countries. I cannot.”

-

And here too, in this office; the carpet that Mark walked on, the spaces between them that Mark breathed in, the skin of his wrist that Mark touched.

-

-

so let me redefine you

Jinyoung personally visits to tell him about calling off the engagement.

“I thought you’d be happier to hear about it.” The elder says, as if mocking him, and Youngjae sighs. It seems like an impossible task, being happy.

“Hyung, if you have nothing else to say, then let’s just retire to bed. It’s quite late already, and I had a very tiring day at the Sanctuary.”

"He's the one who suggested it, you know." Jinyoung says “Took all the blame and said he can’t marry me when he’s completely mad about you. I thought he was going to put in the marriage proposal between you and him. I know for certain Bambam had it written up right after Mark confronted me about everything.”

Youngjae sighs and closes his eyes.

"You love a terribly courageous man, Youngjae-ah, shouldn't you be cour-"

Youngjae pushes himself out of the chair before his brother can finish his sentence.

Jinyoung must’ve seen something in his face because he uncrosses his legs and take out a card to lay it down on the table between them. Youngjae tries not to stare at it. His brother walks over to pull him into a crushing hug.

“We all want you to be happy, Jae-ah.” he says and kisses both of Youngjae’s cheeks before leaving with Yugyeom.

Youngjae nods curtly and casts a glance at the card on the table. It’s a string of phone number.

-

When he gathers enough courage to call, it is not Bambam’s voice that greets him like he expected, but Mark who says “Hello Youngjae.”

His voice is so beautiful, so full of love, and Youngjae lets out a watery laugh, his eyes welling up with tears.