Cognizant

Torn Between
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Laying on his bed with a heavy heart, Jongin let out a deep breathe placing his hand over his bleeding heart. He has been depressed since the news of Kai and his boyfriend's wedding reached him, he had done a great job in avoiding his brother and (ex)boyfriend, he didn't know how to face Sehun as his brother's spouse and he also didn't know what he might do to Kai when he sees him. Hell, he might not be able to hold himself when he sees his brother smiles, he might probably think the latter was mocking him, he needed sometime alone to clear his head and think.– then his phone rang, he glanced at it and saw Sehun's name flashing on the screen. Hesitantly he picked the call. "Jongin, please come outside I am Infront of your house" was the only thing Sehun said before ending the call. The alpha stood up and picked up a shirt from his wardrobe to wear before exiting his room.
Sehun was stood, leaning his weight on the gate when Jongin showed up."Jongin" he called moving closer to his boyfriend, he didn't wait for the other's response as he launched at him, wrapping his arms tightly around the Alpha's body. Jongin choked on his tears as he felt Sehun's body against his own. "Let's run away" Sehun told him.  Jonginshook his head and tightened his grip on Sehun's waist. "Please Jongin, I don't want to marry Kai, I don't care if he's my true mate or not. I want you and believe me it's you alone I want to mate and be with." Jongin sobbed silently "s-sehun we can't" Jongin managed to say "we can't. I don't want to lose you, you know what will happen if you refuse to mate with Kai right?" "You think I don't know that? I know Jongin I just don't care if I die within three months or a day as long as I get to be with you". "Sehun" Jongin pulled away and held Sehun's hand in his. "I love you too, God, I love you more than anything else in this world, but I can't be selfish to risk your life." ”I won't have a life without you Jongin.” "No, I do at least get to see you and for me that would be enough even though I don't get to have you and be with you.”  Sehun closed his eyes inhaling and exhaling heavily as hot tears streamed down from his face.
”Why is Fate so cruel?” "I know. But there is nothing we could do about it, Sehun, go home, live your life until the day of your wedding," Jongin said those words with tight heart like a lava running down his throat "damn I don't even know who to blame in this.” he pulled Sehun for one last hug and just then Mr Kim's car drove inside the house premises, Jongin pulled away when he felt his father's eyes on them. ”Your father.” Sehun said. ”I know, go home I'll talk to him."  Sehun shook his head. ”No I'm not leaving you" "Sehun please don't make this harder than it already is” ”I love you.” ”I love you too, go” he shooed him out of his house, Sehun reluctantly his heels with a heavy and disappointed aching heart. Jongin scrubbed his face with both hands, heaving a sigh as he watched his boyfriend left. "I understand how you feel son." came his father's voice. "No dad you don't understand." "Oh trust me, I do. I was once in your shoes"
Jongin instantly looked at his father shocked and confusion on his face, Mr kim chuckled lightly "come, let me tell you my story son." he draled an arm around his son's shoulder and led them inside the house.
Kim Junmyeon ended up telling Jongin his story; the story of an omega named yixing who happened to be his lover when they were young.
Yixing found his true mate Zitao, but because of his stubbornness and the love he had for Junmyeon caused him his life, since he refused to mate with his true mate and along the way Junmyeon found his own true mate Hyoyeon who was now Jongin and Kai's mother. The two faced some difficulties for quite some time. Junmyeon had been devastated after Yixing's death, but he managed to mate with her few days before the three months of her time was up. He also told Jongin how Zitao took his own life due to the unbearable pain of losing his true mate. Jongin was shocked to hear that, no matter how much he hated Kai at the moment, he didn't want his brother to end up as Zitao and worse of all he didn't want Sehun to end up as Yixing. He'll have to bury his love for Sehun and allow the two to mate. Junmyeon hugged his son after the narration, Kai was somewhere watching  them from afar, a genuine smile graced his face, there was nothing he wanted more than for his father and brother to get along. He's been living with a burden in his heart, always thinking and blaming himself for the rift between them. But now he can finally breathe. "The Oh's will be visiting in a couple of days for the family introduction." Kim Junmyeon told his son. "You don't have to be home if you don't want to, I know it will be difficult." "No– no I want to be around, Sehun is going to live with us as Kai's mate, I can't avoid him or his family forever" Jongin said to his father. The elder Kim nodded agreeing with his son's words. "Okay then."he smiled  "I will go and freshen up. See you around son" he said patting his Jongin's shoulder one more time before walking away.
Kai took closer steps towards his brother when he saw his father leaving the room."Jongin!" He called, the said alpha raised his head to look at his brother's face "I am sorry" Kai apologized. Jongin shook his head.
"I understand Kai, you don't have to apologize." "No you don't get it, I have to. I have to apologize a million time but no matter how many times I said those words it will never be enough, because I ruined what you have with Sehun." "You didn't, the whole situation is inevitable, he's your true mate. Even if I happen to mate him. It will be for a short period of time, but  you–you will be with him forever , that is what fate destined for you two, it hurts a lot Kai, I won't lie about that." Kai bent on his knees and rested his hands on Jongin's knees "I know brother, I may not understand how much it hurts but I know very much you're hurting and I wish I could stop it or take your pain away." Jongin smiled a little "stop blaming yourself, like I said it's inevitable."  "It still doesn't stop me from feeling guilty"  "Duh–" *Jongin* he heard it again. When he's about answer his brother.  "Uhm Kai, we'll talk later –or wait there is nothing to talk about anymore, but I know for sure I love Sehun and will take time to get over him. But I want the best for him and if this is truly it. Then I'll do my part. I don't want Sehun to die and I don't want you to– never mind,  see you later" he finished rising to his feet as he ran fast towards his room. Kai knew what his brother was about to say and the thought alone made him smile. "Thank you." he whispers as he watched his brother's disappearing figure. Then suddenly he felt something strange, something like Sehun thought–"Oh " he cursed out loud when he realized what sehun was about to do.He bolted out of the house before instantly teleporting to get to his omega. Kai rarely use his teleportation ability, but in cases like this, it's the fastest way to reach his omega. Sehun was on the bridge and was about to jump inside the (han) river when Kai got there.
"Stop!!!" Kai screamed. Sehun abruptly turned around and almost lost his balance but Kai was quick to catch him. "Let me go" Sehun kicked his legs trying to free himself from the Alpha's grip. "Are you out of your mind? What do you think you're doing?" Kai asked in disbelief. "Isn't it obvious? Kill myself. I don't want to mate with you and I am sure if this marriage happens it's only a matter of them before you force me to your bed." Okay, Kai felt like he has been slapped right on the face by the omega's words. "Sehun" he called tighten his grip on the omega. "I will never force myself on you, I will never force you to my bed– God how could you even think of such thing. I will wait until you ask for it." Kai told him. Sehun scoffed. "Sure, when I go in heat and probably won't know what I'm doing right?" Kai shook his head. "No, when you're yourself. I'll wait patiently for the day you'll willingly offer yourself to me– but I won't force you. Never." Kai emphasized. "I will never do that, I will never willingly offer myself to you Kai." he said as he successfully freed himself from Kai's hold."just so you know, I will never fall for you." Kai just stared at him blankly, he was a bit lost in thought and Sehun used that opportunity to climb on the bridge again. And that was when Kai snapped out of it as his body sensed the bad atmosphere "Sehun get down please" he pleaded "No" "I swear to God I will never force myself on you or force you to do anything you're not willing." "Then stop this marriage" Sehun yelled. Kai rubbed his temple, he's getting tired with his omega's attitude. "You know I can't do that, it's not for me to decide." "Fine. Then watch me die, if I can't be with Jongin then there is no use for me live, I don't love you Kai. Don't you get it? What's so hard to understand in this?" He said moving his right leg forward. Kai didn't get the chance to digest the harsh words Sehun threw him when his eyes widen in fear for his omega's life and just then he quickly thought of an alternative solution,  Imposition. He hated doing this, imposing on his omega. But this was the only way to stop Sehun. because he could sense the omega was really determined to get himself killed. "Omega!" he called authoritatively. Sehun's whole body shivered "get down and come to me" Kai ordered. Like an obedient child, Sehun slowly climbed down the bridge and landed Infront of Kai with both his hands on the alpha's shoulder."Good, now get on my back," he said lowering himself for Sehun to climb on his back. Sehun did as told, the only thing in his mind at the moment was to obey and please his Alpha. Hooking his arms at both sides of sehun's thighs, Kai held him firmly before running off with an inhuman speed, all normal humans could see was a blur of Kai's blue clothes. And Kai only made his stop when he reached Sehun's house. He came to a halt to catch his breath before knocking on the door, Luhan was the one that opened the door with a smile on his beautiful face "oh you're back and alive?" He said showing his pearly white teeth. "What? You knew he was going to kill himself?" Kai asked with wide eyes, this family must really be crazy. He thought "Yup, but I know you wouldn't allow that, that's why I relaxed and enjoyed my movie" he said with a shrug. Kai sighed exasperatedly "come here, baby bro" Luhan ushered, reaching an arm to hold Sehun who's still on Kai's back. Sehun didn't react, instead he buried his face deeper into Kai's back "Oh" Luhan made a sound with an amused smirk. "okay I get it. You won't listen to me, now that your Alpha is here huh?" Kai rolled his eyes "come down Sehun." he said with a little hint of authority. Sehun obeyed and Luhan snorted "now go in and get some sleep, I don't want what happened today to repeat itself okay?" Sehun was silent. "Did you hear me omega?" Sehun nodded, but Kai was still not satisfied. "Have you lost your voice or something ?"
He asked again. "No, I mean yes, I heard you Alpha." Sehun cursed himself inwardly for obeying every word Kai said to him. "God, he's tamed, where is my sassy lil bro?" Luhan commented draping an arm around his brother's shoulder. "Thank you Kai, I knew you'd take care of my brother. Goodnight" Luhan said with a polite bow. Kai bowed back and glanced at Sehun one more time before taking his leave. Luha
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tonnettie
#1
Chapter 49: Awww this is such a great story!
tonnettie
#2
Chapter 13: Xiao Lu sven matesa first
tonnettie
#3
Chapter 12: I was thinking aside from the scent who would they distinguish Kai from Jongin?
tonnettie
#4
I’m really thrilled to start reading this
shrtstuf4 #5
Chapter 1: Rereading this one because it's great
Yha-mhine #6
One of the best stories I love.. ❤❤❤❤❤
Lotus_Girl
#7
Chapter 49: One of my favorite stories ... I hope you'd comeback soon with a new one like this one,
XiaoShixun #8
Chapter 6: Kai being very thoughtful
teufelchen_netty #9
Chapter 1: reading this again *-*
gogo15eoul #10
Chapter 49: Puhahaha Milk!! He love my milk 🥛🍼
I really enjoyed every chapter