----Chapter Twenty-Two----

"Roseanne Park, come out right now, or I'll smash your door down with a hammer!" Lisa's voice booms from outside, the threat undeniable in her tone, and Chaeyoung can easily picture her frowning face and piercing eyes glaring at her through the closed door.

"We don't own any hammers, silly," Jennie chides. She's definitively shaking her head, annoyed by Lisa's antics, Chaeyoung knows it even if there's a door separating them.

"Maybe you should try with our lightstick? It won't smash the door, but the noise might get her out," Jisoo offers, her voice more muffled out than the others.

Chaeyoung sighs from her position on her bed, reluctant to move no matter their words. And they know she can hear them perfectly, the walls aren't that thick.

Her members are terribly lacking in the art of subtlety.

It's been two days since she screamed at Jimin and the singer hasn't left the sanctuary of her room – besides going to the bathroom when she was sure the way was free- since then.

Yes, she's aware of how silly and childish she's acting, but she doesn't know how to face them, doesn't want to show her weak side. Doesn't know what to say, how to explain what happened with Jimin. How can she when she doesn't understand her extreme reaction.

An emptiness has settled inside her ever since and maybe staying alone with her thoughts isn't the healthiest solution, but she lost control of herself that day and she just wants to get it back so badly.

It's not working.

Her heart has become a black hole ever since Jimin left, growing every day and all light and positive feelings, until only a shell will soon remain.

She doesn't know what to do. So yes maybe hiding in her room isn't the best course of action, but it's easier.

Maybe Park Chaeyoung is a coward.

A squeaky sound drags her back to the depressing reality of her room, and she stares with an open-mouth at her closed door.

She shouldn't be surprised but somehow, she still is.

One of them is really hitting her door with their lightstick.

Continuously.

Over and over and over and over.

Chaeyoung usually loves the sound as it's associated with blinks. Blinks screaming and singing with them. Right now though, it's used to annoy her, to drag her out.

They're worrying too much, she thinks. It's not like she completely removed herself from the world.

Her family wouldn't have let her anyway.

Her parents, as expected, left a hundred messages on her phone, and she cried like a baby as she read them once she finally gathered the necessary courage to open her phone.

She called them as soon as she finished reading, and that...didn't go too well.

They were so disappointed she hadn't shared her struggles with them, that they had to find out her pain and left-over scars through an online article.

Their worries are understandable, also expected, but the hurt in their eyes at her silence made her feel so small.

She hates hurting people.

She knows she was wrong, she knows, she knows... She's such a lacking daughter sometimes, always worrying them, but while she knows, she's also convinced that she couldn't tell them before, would have never even told them if that article hadn't come to life.

She apologized a hundred times, and of course, she ended up crying. Then her mother started to cry too. And her poor father kept coughing and clearing his throat through it all.

It took some time, but they all eventually calmed down and she shared her company's plan of action, trying to appear more positive and optimistic than she felt.

In the end, they ended up talking for hours, about random things, about Australia, but she deftly evaded the topic of her mental health, and they let her to her greatest relief.

She did feel slightly better after talking to them, one less weight on her shoulders, but exhaustion took over her afterward and she crawled into her bed without changing her clothes.

And couldn't sleep.

Jimin's face kept staring at her, eyes filled with hurt as she screamed at him.

And then this morning, after her crappy sleepless night, Junhoe tried to come by for a chat, but their manager didn't let him in, so he determinedly tried to call her seven times in a row until she finally answered, guessing he wanted to talk about Jimin.

They talked for almost thirty minutes, where he apologized non-stop for overstepping his bounds by asking Jimin to go see her after Jisoo had told him how it ended.

Chaeyoung can't be mad at him for doing what he believed was a good idea, even if he was meddling where his nose didn't belong.

He meant well, and maybe she overreacted, but she would've still preferred talking to Jimin when she would've felt ready.

Then maybe she wouldn't have hurt him.

After reassuring him that she wasn't mad at him and that yes, they were still friends how silly of him to think otherwise, he hung up, clearly feeling depressed anyway, but Chaeyoung felt as depressed so she wasn't in any position to cheer him up.

Still, they have a solid friendship, and she doesn't want this to ruin it, so she promises herself to send him a text later, knowing it will ease his worries. It's enough that she messed up her relationship with Jimin, she should cherish the other people close to her.

Like her members, still persevering on the other side of her door with their chosen strategy.

She sighs, trying to free her mind of all her troubled thoughts. Soon, her depressed self will taint everyone who comes in contact with her.

She gives another deadly stare at her door before getting up and yanking it open, surprising Lisa.

The Thai dancer freezes in motion, with their lightstick over her head, before dropping it and throwing herself at her, snaking her body around her as tightly as a python. "You're out! Finally! I'm not letting you out of my sight ever again!"

Chaeyoung rolls her eyes, but still lets her body slumps in her friend's familiar embrace. "I'm not going anywhere. Let's talk."

She's met with three sets of blinding smiles, and her lips curl in answer.

They all gather in Jennie's room as they all unanimously elected her bed the most comfortable one, with blankets and pillows spread around them, a soft guitar piece playing in the background.

"What shall I start with?" Chaeyoung asks them when they're all settled on the rapper's bed in a circle.

Her three members share a look, before Jisoo, the designated speaker, clears . "How are your parents?"

Chaeyoung winces at the mention of her parents but relieved she doesn't have to talk about Jimin yet. "You must think I'm stupid for keeping something like this from them."

"Of course we don't," Jennie interjects with a frown, hugging one of her stuffed animals to her chest. "You didn't want to upset them, we understand. In fact, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have told even us if you thought you'd be able to hide it from us."

Chaeyoung stares guiltily at her hands, slowly nodding. There's no way it would've been possible to hide all her visits to her therapists to her members without them noticing, but Chaeyoung did think, in the beginning, that maybe she could try.

"I did...but we're a team...and you guys already knew about all the nightmares and my...mental state...but my parents...I was...scared they would try to convince me to go back to Australia and that I would let them...But deep down, I didn't want to leave, I've always wanted to stay here with you guys, but also..."

"You would've felt safer there," Jisoo guesses, nodding when Chaeyoung doesn't answer. "It's ok, it's normal to feel that way after what you've been through. Even if you had decided to go back home, we would've respected your decision."

Chaeyoung smiles, shaking her head. "My home is here now. And I won't run away."

They all smile at her, their eyes shining with fondness at her words.

God, she loves them.

How lucky Blackpink ended up with the four of them.

Destiny, Lisa said back in early 2017 after they won all those rookie awards.

"Let's get serious," Jennie suddenly says, losing her smile. "We need to talk about that article...I know, not your favorite subject Chaeng, but I want to find who's behind it. The highers-up might say they'll investigate to find the one responsible, but I doubt they'll waste resources, especially when the public has swayed to your side after their statement, and more comments supporting you are spreading around."

"I'm sure they're behind some of those comments by the way, especially the earlier ones," Jisoo shares. "Then like sheep, people adopted the same opinion. It's fine, I guess...As long as people don't find out."

"They played detective while you were holed up in your room," Lisa informs her with a shake of her head. She's grinning at her, but Chaeyoung doesn't miss the quick glare she sends to Jennie.

Chaeyoung would've been confused by the hidden anger in that glare if she hadn't heard by accident the argument between her two members when she tried to sneak into the kitchen last night. She'd missed the beginning, but when her ears caught Jimin's name, she didn't feel guilty to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Why did you have to mention Jimin? Of course he didn't talk about it!" Jennie had whispered-yelled.

"I was naming people who knew! He knew! I never said he was the culprit!" Lisa defended, and from the corner, Chaeyoung hid from, she saw her friend standing tall, arms crossed as she glared down at Jennie.

"But this would've never happened if you hadn't mentioned him!"

"Chaeyoung didn't yell because she thought he was involved, there are deeper issues at work here. Don't accuse me like that."

She'd run off at this point, hating that they were fighting because of her, hating that it was yet another reminder of how silly she acted.

And because maybe Lisa was a tad wrong. She did consider that he could've talked about it. Not with malicious intent, maybe to get a second opinion. 

She hates herself for thinking it. 

"I'm sure it's not Dispatch," Jennie is saying when Chaeyoung returns to the present. "They love brandishing their name in everyone's faces."

"But it's possible that the one behind it couldn't sell his story to Dispatch for some reason and someone else bought it," Jisoo advances, frowning.

How many times have they gone over this while she remained cut off from the world, wailing in her misery?

"I'm going to hire a private investigator," Jennie states, star