---- Interlude: Jennie ----

Jennie heads to the balcony with the desperation of a fugitive running away from the cops. That party is suffocating her, with all those people drinking, laughing and dancing happily. They're everywhere, so loud, and she can't take it anymore. Their happiness causes a tightness in her chest, and she can't breathe.

Her life sure took a turn for the worse and she has no idea how to turn it back around.

Disregarding her messy emotional state, she pushed herself past her limit today in light of the show, so the fans wouldn't worry about her, so gossip wouldn't spread about her appearing unprofessional on stage again. She thinks she put on a good front, but it left her completely drained.  

She knows her members are concerned about her sudden mood swings, her sullen attitude, and rash acting with their manager. She saw the looks they exchanged, the way Jisoo's face turns into a frown when her eyes fall on her. She hates worrying them and wishes she were a better actress so they'd think she's perfectly fine, but she's still not good enough.

She'd wanted to apologize, especially to Jisoo for the way she acted, but how could she without explaining everything? There are no words...Her emotionally unstable self had picked up a fight even with her best friend and tried to avoid her, for fear she would figure everything out if they spent one moment alone.

It's ridiculous, and she's tried to tone it down, but she's lost control. Of her emotions, of herself.

It's all Song Minho's fault.

After some intense dancing at his birthday party, they'd share a steamy kiss that left her breathless, sending tingles all the way to her toes. The followings days, it was all she could think about, the way his lips felt on hers...if she closed her eyes, she could relive it perfectly, from the first touch until they moved apart after an eternity that still didn't last long enough. 

She worried that maybe he drank too much and forgot about it or maybe regretted it, and would move on as if it never happened. 

It thus came as a shock when he texted her about a week later, asking her to hang out with a couple of people from YG. She immediately said yes after executing a cheering dance in her room like some teenage girl, just because he'd ask her to join a friendly get-together, something he'd never done before.

They passed a fantastic evening where everyone had fun, herself included as she got to know better the other Winner's members and some of their friends. She didn't see the time pass, so when they all started splitting up late in the night, they ended up leaving together on the pretext of going in the same direction and somehow, along the way, she ended up at Minho's place. 

One thing led to the other and she woke up the next morning, blissful and elated.

She hadn't meant for them to sleep together, it just happened, but she refused to regret it, the whole memory of their night enraptured her like no night with any other men ever had - not that she had a handful of others to compare it with. Waking up with him by her side, smiling at her the moment he opened his eyes...she floated on a big white fluffy cloud the following days, with no intention of coming down.

Maybe she should've questioned herself and him.

Maybe she should've analyzed the situation thoroughly like the smart woman she is supposed to be. But hormones and lust, and maybe loneliness had overtaken the inquisitive side of her brain.

They'd hook up a few times after, and Jennie thought it could be the start of something. They talked and shared things, and he always made sure to feed her before they parted, which she found so sweet, a gesture that showed he cared. 

It really could've grown into more. What a shame it was only her who felt that way.

Her white cloud of happiness evaporated into nothingness faster than an eye blink before she had the chance of growing comfortable on the downy ride.

She tried not to hold it against him when he said it'd been a mistake, even though it hurt like hell. They never promised anything, but she couldn't deny she'd started liking him. A lot. Still, she didn't want to act like some clingy, needy woman, so she backed off, but she couldn't stop wondering if there was something wrong with her for him to suddenly put a stop to their...fling? Hook-ups? She didn't even know how to label what they had, which depressed her even more. 

But then she'd heard he just started seeing a girl he'd had a crush on for a while, and Jennie felt used. Abandoned. Thrown away to the side like a broken toy.

Not heartbroken thankfully. Her feelings hadn't time to develop that much, but she liked him, not to mention respected him. The possibilities for more had been there, but only from her point of view it seems.

He'd seen her as someone to fill in the empty space until the one person he had his sight on noticed him. To pass time until he got what he wanted. 

She'd found about him and the girl the evening before their flight, by accidentally eavesdropping on a conversation between the other Winner's members. She felt sorry for all of her entourage for acting distant and cold, but she burned with anger, with no one to direct it at, and she didn't want to explain how utterly stupid she'd been. It was all so humiliating.

Why couldn't she stay unaffected by this? Why couldn't she react with a 'oh well, whatever, let's move on' after realizing the truth?  She had never seen him in that way before. Why, why did she dance with him? Things would still be as they were if she hadn't, if she'd stayed by Chaeyoung's side instead of leaving her alone.

She never learns.

The very last thing she wanted was to come to this stupid party, only yearning to curl under the covers and brood. But if she hadn't shown, Jisoo would've been disappointed, and she cherishes Jisoo too much to spoil her strong desire to party, no matter that it came suspiciously out of nowhere.

She can't think about anything else, it all plays back over and over, taunting her at every hour, so she can never forget. She feels like going crazy when she's by herself, but being around other people depresses her even more. Ence her desperate need for a break from the overcrowded room.

As soon as she reaches the balcony, she leans her chin on the balustrade, breathing ragged but already feeling less stuffed now that she's away from people. Her eyes close a moment, to appreciate the soft breeze before she opens them again and takes in the breathtaking view of the city full of lights in the