Word count : 667

Pairing           : Sehun×Luhan

Summary      : And then Sehun tries to hate Luhan.

God, I walk through the night, after my heart was broken.

For the nth times.

I guess You knew it too.

That was what I’d always do every time he broke my heart. Exactly three years ago, when he left me. Not too long after that, when he called me and dared to apologize. Some time after, last year, when we met in Japan.

And then two days ago, when the whole world informed me he found love.

Every time he broke me, I’d take a walk through the night. That’s the only thing I know. You know I’d rather walk until my feet get sore instead of yelling, cursing at him which would favor me nothing in return.

This date is here again. The date he ing left. And I’m on the streets again, not even wearing a jacket. God, we all fear the flames of Hell, but why do I feel like the coldness of being unloved by the person I love is more torturous?

If You’re listening, You’d know I’m praying. I pray… that this is the best for him. That he is living the life he had always wanted.

You asked us to be compassionate even with our enemies. But God, he’s not an enemy; he’s the person I love, does that mean I can hate him?

‘You have to be like me’, he said.

‘What’s done is done, Sehun,’ he ing said.

God, why was it so easy to him? Why is it so easy for him?

I’m not even wondering if he really loved me the way I thought he did or not.

I just wish that his love for me was like my love for him.

Then I wouldn’t have felt so stupid even just for breathing.

But You see, even as the time goes by, he called again.

He ing called me this morning.

He ing asked how I’ve been.

I hated him for a moment.

I hate that I hated him, even just for a moment.

‘I’ve been dying, Luhan. Please tell me everything’s a big sick joke you’ve been pulling on me for three years. Please tell me you’re not with her. Please tell me I’m still inside your heart and mind. Please tell me you still love me’ I wanted to spill to him.

‘You have no right to ask about my life’, I told him instead.

‘You’re making it worse for me’, I added.

I wasn’t lying. It would’ve been better that he acted like I never existed in his life. But he just had to call me?

I hated him.

I hated myself for hating him.

Because it always felt like everything about this is so easy to him. It’s like this whole separation thing is so easy for him. Like I never mattered in his life.

If only… if only the wound he got for leaving me hurts as much as the wound I got after he left me.

Did he ever feel pain?

Was leaving me hurtful for him?

If not, then does that mean I was just a fleeting moment in his past?

God, is that how unimportant I was?

He has no right to ask how I’ve been.

He has no right to do it after leaving me, walking away from me, not looking back for once even when he had heard me sobbing.

He has no right to ask how I’ve been.

He has no right to do it after moving on so easily like that, smiling ever so brightly, while I’ve always been here, hurting, wondering why I wasn’t enough.

He has no right to ask how I’ve been.

Not after he turned me into this kind of wrecked mess.

He has no right to ask how I’ve been.

Not after he made it look so easy to him, when everything is so easy for him.

He has no right… to ask how I’ve been,

knowing well that his love for me wasn’t like my love for him.

[A/N]

The after story of the previous chapter.