Word count : ~1.9k

Pairing           : Chanyeol×Kyungsoo (slight Jongin×Kyungsoo and Chanyeol×Baekhyun)

Summary      : Chanyeol wishes Kyungsoo had stayed by his side instead.

 

 

Kyungsoo comes at midnight.

 

He always comes at midnight. Right at the moment where the day gets to the deepest.

 

As usual, he pulls the window of Chanyeol's bedroom, opening them. Chanyeol never locks his window, for he knows Kyungsoo would need the way in.

 

And as usual, Chanyeol would wake up.

 

As Kyungsoo skims through the darkness, tired steps dragging across the carpeted floor, Chanyeol detaches himself from the limbo of dreams where he makes Kyungsoo laugh. He forces himself to be awake. Kyungsoo needs him to be awake.

 

He waits, and waits, until Kyungsoo does something. Kyungsoo would always do something in attempt to wake him up.

 

But tonight seems different, for Kyungsoo doesn't budge from his spot.

 

Instead, Chanyeol hears the shuffle of his feet, and he listens Kyungsoo walking away, pushing the window outward, and jumps over again.

 

Alerted, Chanyeol immediately sits up on his bed.

 

Kyungsoo is walking away.

 

And he's sure Kyungsoo doesn't know where he himself is heading to.

 

Have Kyungsoo lost his way again?

 

The night breeze blows into his room through the open window. The skies are dark outside, the air is a lot colder than he had expected it to be.

 

He can't let Kyungsoo walk alone.

 

Chanyeol jumps off his bed, slides into his slippers and grabs his jacket. Not even for himself to wear. He urges towards the window and jumps over as well.

 

At least Kyungsoo is not far in front of him.

 

He sighs.

 

It's going to be a long night.

 

=

 

They walk, and walk, with Kyungsoo still not knowing that Chanyeol is behind him.

 

Or maybe he knows, and he purposely walks further to prevent Chanyeol from seeing how much of a mess he is.

 

But as expected, he stops on his track. He freezes on his spot, and Chanyeol follows suit, stopping on his own. He turns around, and everything stops for Chanyeol.

 

Right there, in front of him, Kyungsoo showers in the moonlight.

 

The dim shine illuminates his face, and Chanyeol's heart drops. Because Kyungsoo is beautiful, but wounded. His face looks ethereally beautiful, but it's decorated with tears and winces of agony. Chanyeol wonders why such beautiful thing has to be in pain.

 

He can only hope that the beauty stays longer at the end of his sight.

 

"I - it was my fault." Kyungsoo tries to speak loud, but he ends up sounding hoarse.

 

Chanyeol doesn't reply.

 

"I hoped too much. It was my mistake. I hoped too much and -" Kyungsoo takes in as much air as he can because he's starting to suffocate himself with his own emotion, "it really was my fault."

 

Chanyeol only walks towards him, the jacket still on his hand.

 

"I mean - of course, I'm delusional. I thought we were good, I thought we were back on track but apparently we weren't - we never got back into anything."

 

Chanyeol drapes the jacket around Kyungsoo's shoulder.

 

"So really, it's my fault." Kyungsoo whispers. "I never should've asked him about that. Never should've went to his apartment. Never should've walked out of my house tonight."

 

Kyungsoo goes on and on about how much of a fool he is, and Chanyeol listens. Chanyeol listens to it all. And he lets Kyungsoo be like this. Unreachable. Detached. Kyungsoo is in a place where he can't reach and hold him. Kyungsoo is drowning in his own sad story; its chapters are dreams that cannot come true. And the more he writes it, the more he gets closer to it, the more he hurts.

 

But Chanyeol has had enough.

 

Chanyeol is done only listening.

 

So he tells Kyungsoo to -

 

"Stop."

 

Kyungsoo freezes and looks up at him, bewildered.

 

"Stop." Chanyeol asks, anxiously. "Please stop."

 

=

 

Kyungsoo gasps quietly.

 

"Chanyeol...?"

 

"Kyungsoo, have you ever considered me as someone who is beside you?" Chanyeol starts off. "Did you ever consider I exist?"

 

Kyungsoo blinks up at him.

 

"You kept telling me that you're a fool for keeping on coming back to him, as if I never did anything to prevent you from doing it. As if I didn't care. But I did. I do. I did tell you to stop going back to him, to just deal with the fact that he doesn't even think about you anymore, but what did you do? You still went back to him - Kim Jongin that bastard. You still believed that he still loves you - , Kyungsoo, should I show you the pictures from his engagement ceremony with that girl?!"

 

Kyungsoo turns around.

 

"You still think that he's just lost?" Chanyeol asks breathlessly. "That he will come back to you if you just remind him of what you guys had??"

 

"I did what I thought was right." Kyungsoo finally speaks. "What if he needs me to show him the way back home, to me?"

 

", Do Kyungsoo, you're unbelievable." Chanyeol groans. "Why?? Why are you like this??"

 

Kyungsoo glances at him.

 

"Why do you dream such a dangerous dream?" Chanyeol asks in a whisper, brokenly, defeated. "Aren't you tired?"

 

"Of what?"

 

"Of getting hurt."

 

Still in denial, Kyungsoo closes his eyes.

 

"Why don't you just... rest?" Chanyeol asks again. "Just rest, even just for a while. Just forget about your feelings, about him, for a while. What if your heart can't take it anymore and breaks in the end?"

 

'What if my heart shatters right after yours did?' Chanyeol wants to say.

 

They stay in silence. Kyungsoo opens his eyes and looks up over the night skies.

 

And once again, Chanyeol's breath gets taken away.

 

It's a shame, for such a beautiful face to shed tears for someone who doesn't even deserve it.

 

Chanyeol can only wish that the beautiful face stays there longer, at the end of his sight, like a drawing.

 

=

 

Kyungsoo looks back at him again.

 

"I'm alright." he tries to muster up a smile; he fails miserably. "I'll be alright."

 

Chanyeok shakes his head. "Liar."

 

"I'm serious."

 

"Liar." Chanyeol steps closer and gently puts his hands on both of Kyungsoo's trembling shoulders, calming them down. "You always lied to me."

 

"I wasn't lying to you." Kyungsoo says emptily. "I was lying to myself."

 

Chanyeol nods. "I know." He pulls Kyungsoo into his arms. "I know."

 

And Kyungsoo finally lets his tears pour down.

 

Shoulders shaking, trembling vigorously.

 

"Hey," Chanyeol calls softly, "what if I tell you to just... be by my side?"

 

Kyungsoo presses his forehead against Chanyeol's chest.

 

"Just be here, even for a while. Be here and lay here by my side. You can take the time you need the most. We can lay in silence, until the morning." Chanyeol whispers against Kyungsoo's jet black locks.

 

Kyungsoo nods slightly.

 

"And when... and when the sun rises, I will let you go." Chanyeol pulls away a little bit, observing Kyungsoo's expression. "I will let you fly away. To wherever you want to go. Even to the place where the moon doesn't shine yet. You can go. But for the mean time, please stay with me. Just for a little while."

 

Kyungsoo looks up at him. Round eyes recording everything on his face as if he would miss it so much.

 

"Chanyeol." Kyungsoo smiles brokenly. "Chanyeol."

 

Chanyeol nods.

 

"I want to do it. To lay together with you until the morning."

 

Chanyeol closes his eyes when Kyungsoo's cold palm touches his cheek.

 

"But as you know," tears run down Kyungsoo's cheeks again, "I've been stuck at the dark side of the moon for so long."

 

Chanyeol opens his eyes.

 

And he hears someone calls his name from a distance.

 

=

 

"- yeol!! Park Chanyeol!!"

 

He glances, trying to recognize the figure that is approaching towards him.

 

"Gosh I'm dying - thank God you only got this far!" Baekhyun says breathlessly, exhausted from running aimlessly in panic for the last thirty minutes.

 

Chanyeol can feel colors draining out of his face.

 

"So," Baekhyun then bows down to pick up the stranded jacket on the asphalt, which he recognizes as Chanyeol's, "ready to go back?"

 

Chanyeol is still not moving.

 

Baekhyun looks up at him in full understanding. "We'll walk back slowly, 'kay? No need to rush-"

 

"Kyungsoo."

 

Baekhyun stops on his track.

 

"I was seeing Kyungsoo," Chanyeol whispers, "again."

 

Already processing the information, Baekhyun nods. "I understand."

 

"He came. He came, didn't he?" Chanyeol looks at the jacket. "Did he really come?"

 

Baekhyun sighs, preparing himself to do the thing he's been doing for months.

 

"No, Chanyeol, he didn't." Baekhyun says calmly. "Do Kyungsoo has deceased since April 1st last year."

 

Chanyeol feels something sinking onto the pit of his abdomen.

 

"Wasn't an April’s fool, I remind you." Baekhyun chuckles gently, carefully.

 

"Then," Chanyeol croaks out, "then why did I see him... again?"

 

Baekhyun puts a hand on Chanyeol's shoulder. "We're still figuring it out and curing it at the same time, man." he says, assuring. "But for now, let's get back home first."

 

Chanyeol nods dumbly, following Baekhyun forward.

 

In the end, Kyungsoo has really gone to the place where he can't reach for and hold him.

 

Kyungsoo really flew.

 

He just didn't fly to him.

 

And without him realizing it,

 

everything has become his own sad story.

 

And the more he writes them,

 

the closer he gets,

 

the stronger it will hurt.

 

=

 

He couldn't reach Kyungsoo ever since the morning.

 

He had tried to reach Kyungsoo's phone, but his calls went straight to voice mail and his messages weren't replied. It wasn't the first time Kyungsoo went missing for the whole day, but Chanyeol was still worried.

 

Sitting at the edge of his bed, he stared at the other side. Whenever Kyungsoo went missing for the whole day, Chanyeol would be waken up at midnight by Kyungsoo himself, who would slip under the comforter next to him. Kyungsoo would stay silent at first, and Chanyeol would let him be. Then Kyungsoo would start to cry. And Chanyeol would let him pour his heart out.

 

'My fault. It was my fault.' Kyungsoo would repeat between his sobs.

 

'It wasn't.' Chanyeol would whisper back. 'It wasn't.'

 

The thought of Kyungsoo going to a jerk named Kim Jongin angered him for a moment. How long has it been since Jongin claimed to Kyungsoo that they were not meant to be, that it was just a phase for him? How long has it been for Kyungsoo to torture himself once in a while? A year and a half? Chanyeol had lost count. All he knew was that the more he thought Kyungsoo would be fine, Kyungsoo ended up getting worse.

 

Chanyeol laid down and sighs heavily. Hoping that Kyungsoo would show up. Eventually, sleepiness lured him.

 

As expected, somewhere along midnight, consciousness tickled him up. The sound of the windows creaking open alerted him. Half asleep, he heard tired steps dragging against his carpeted floor.

 

He could immediately tell it was Kyungsoo.

 

He waited for the bed to dip. He waited with closed eyes, because he was damn tired.

 

He waited.

 

And fell asleep once more,

 

not knowing that Kyungsoo never laid down next to him that night.

 

When he woke up in the morning, he found the windows being left open.

 

And at the afternoon, his friend Jongdae called him and informed something with shaky voice.

 

Chanyeol stilled.

 

He glanced at the desk calendar near his sight.

 

April 1st.

 

" you, Dae, it's not funny." Chanyeol groaned.

 

But Jongdae only cried.

 

His phone then fell from his grip, straight to the floor.

 

It crashed.

 

His world crashed.

 

 

[A/N]

 

Of course it was inspired from EXO’s Moonlight.