Word count : ~1.1k

Pairing           : Jongin×Kyungsoo (slight Jongin×Krystal)

Summary      : Only fools fall.

 

 

He was a fool.

 

He was a careless heart who had fallen in love with the boy whose smile could defeat sunrise . He had fallen in love so long ago, when he didn't even understand what love was.

 

For so many years, he had loved the boy, had watched the boy who was full of dreams grown into a young man who was making his dreams come true. All his passion, all his muse, it was all because of the boy he had met in the middle of the school yard under the clear blue skies.

 

They were a pack. A pair. One was never present without the other. Everyone in the town knew about the two boys who grew up closer more than any pair of brothers could be.

 

But the boy he loved never knew about his true feelings.

 

And he was never brave enough to express it.

 

And maybe, just maybe, that was the beginning of his mistake.

 

If only he had told the boy the thing that matters instead of words of praises during their days in the practice room,

 

or held the boy's hand instead of keeping a distance during the walk back to the dorm,

 

or kissed the tear on the boy's cheek instead of a mere tight hug when the boy cried,

 

maybe he won't end up standing next to the sink in the kitchen with a knife in his hand like this.

 

If only he had said that one sentence, one that could've made his life totally different,

 

or pulled the boy back instead of letting him walk out of the door when the boy had asked him, "what do you want, hyung? If you're being like this because I'm with her then what do you want me to do?"

 

or at least listened to his own heart when it told him to wake up and run to his love,

 

maybe he won't be crying, trembling, cursing at himself like this.

 

As he sees his reflection at the smooth surface of the knife, he asks himself,

 

'where did I go wrong?'

 

=

 

He's a fool.

 

He's been a fool for a very long time, yet he never wanted to admit it. He tolerated his stupidity, endured everything as much as he could in fear of losing the friendship he treasured so much.

 

Because since long ago, he knew his heart was snatched by his best friend.

 

His best friend, who he first met with on that bright summer day,

 

who had helped him solve things he couldn't comprehend including his dilemma between following his father's words and dancing,

 

whose smile was so rare to come out yet immediately made him flutter inside once it was there,

 

whose eyes had spoken so many silent words of understanding and encouragement,

 

who was always by his side, yet always seemed too far to reach when it was about hearts.

 

His best friend was more than a best friend to him.

 

Yet he was never sure that he was more than a best friend to that person.

 

He never knew; he never asked.

 

Because instead of asking, he only tried something that he was sure would make his best friend speak of his true feelings.

 

He was so sure that no one would want to see the one they love being in someone else's arms.

 

Yet his best friend never spoke of anything.

 

His best friend only offered a smile.

 

"Congratulations", his best friend said.

 

"Why are you like this?" he asked his best friend. "What do you want, hyung?"

 

His best friend stayed silent.

 

"If you're being like this because I'm with her then what do you want me to do?"

 

His best friend had stared at him.

 

And offered another smile.

 

"I was just worried that you won't have time to hang out with me anymore," his best friend grinned, "but then I remembered that I own the spare key to your room."

 

And after that, he never said anything again.

 

Little did he know that he was a fool for staying silent.

 

As he's driving like a mad man on his way to his best friend's apartment, he finally realizes he's a fool. He's been a fool.

 

'I am so sorry, Jongin,' the voice mail still plays on his phone, 'I thought I'd get better. But I never did. I'm so much worse.'

 

He's been a fool.

 

He only realizes it now.

 

=

 

She's a fool.

 

She's finally sure of it now.

 

When her lover first confessed to her, it had felt too good to be true to have the man you've dreamed of telling you that he's dreamed of you as well.

 

When her lover had taken her to their first date, everything felt too magical and unreal because she was still in disbelief that he just happened to feel exactly the same with her.

 

When her lover brought her roses for their 100th day, she still couldn't believe that the man of her dreams was her destiny.

 

So one day, she found out that her lover was a great actor.

 

It wasn't in the way he cared for her, the way he smiled at her, the way he seldomly tell her he loves her yet showed it with his actions. Those acts weren't an act; God, her lover was the most perfect gentleman in the world.

 

She found out about it at the fifth time she met her lover's best friend.

 

She thought she was hallucinating. She didn't believe her own head at first.

 

But in the end, one's eyes would never betray one's love.

 

Her lover's best friend is in love with her lover.

 

And her lover must've felt the same somewhere along the way; if not still.

 

Instead of confronting her lover about it,

 

she stayed quiet.

 

As long as her lover was by her side, she was fine.

 

As long as the best friend didn't do anything about it, she was fine.

 

But three days ago, there was a call from her lover's best friend.

 

"Soojung, Soojung," the man called, "I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry, if only I don't exist then you and Jongin would've been happy since long ago, long long ago,"

 

"Soojung, I can't hate you, you did nothing wrong, Soojung, forgive me, forgive Jongin, Soojung,"

 

She concluded that he was drunk, so she ignored it with a heavy heart.

 

But now, as she watches her lover kneeling next to the hospital bed, where his best friend lies unmoving - unliving, she's finally sure that she's a fool.

 

If only, if only she had said something, if only she chose to play saint just for once in her life,

 

maybe then she would've made two people genuinely happy with each other,

 

instead of this; one dead, one dying.

 

 

[A/N]

 

This was written on 2017's April Fools day aka the 1st anniversary of KaiStal heuheu.