Word count : ~3.2k

Pairing           : Sehun×Luhan

Summary      : Sehun and Luhan through the years.

 

 

'April 12th, 2009'

 

=

 

Sehun

09.12 PM "Where are u???"

 

Lu hyung

09.22 PM "Im so sorry kid it looks like I cant come."

 

Sehun

09.23 PM "Ure joking arent u"

 

Lu hyung

09.31 PM ":( sorry :("

 

Sehun

09.33 PM "Is it coach again did he make you practice since morning"

 

Lu hyung

09.39 PM "Yes and Im still hiding from him as were talking"

 

Sehun

09.41 PM "Cant believe coach ruined my bday"

 

Lu hyung

09.57 PM "Are the other kids there yet"

 

Sehun

09.59 PM "Ofc jongin and youngho are alrdy wrestling on my bed"

 

Lu hyung

10.04 PM "They better NOT touch my bed"

 

Sehun

10.04 PM ":(((((((((((((( wish u were here"

 

Lu hyung

10.12 PM "Im so sorry :'("

 

Sehun

10.16 PM "Its ok. Wouldve been more fun with u tho"

 

Lu hyung

10.17 PM "Really?"

 

Sehun

10.17 PM "Ofc"

 

Lu hyung

10.18 PM "Then maybe you want to open the door"

 

Sehun

10.18 PM "Why would I u said flies would get in"

 

Lu hyung

10.19 PM "Just open the door and let me wish you a happy birthday"

 

Sehun

10.20 PM "What does opening the door have to do with u wishing me a happy bday"

10.21 PM "Oh omg wait"

 

Lu hyung

10.21 PM "Happy birthday you fool"

 

Sehun

11.11 PM ":):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)"

 

Lu hyung

11.12 PM "Why are you texting me"

 

Sehun

11.12 PM "So our phones can talk 2 each other since youre ignoring me the bday boy"

 

Lu hyung

11.13 PM "My cards arent going to flip themselves"

 

Sehun

11.13 PM "This is my bday stop playing and talk 2 me"

 

Lu hyung

11.15 PM "Joonmyun is eyeing us"

 

Sehun

11.16 PM "Im very pretty thats y"

 

Lu hyung

11.16 PM "1 more round kay"

 

Sehun

11.17 PM "Ill be waiting"

11.17 PM "On your bed ;-)"

11.17 PM "KIDDING OKAY PLS DONT KILL ME I JUST TURNED SIXTEEN"

03.11 AM "Are u asleep"

 

Lu hyung

03.13 AM "Its 3 am"

 

Sehun

03.14 AM "I know amazing right"

 

Lu hyung

03.16 AM "congrats on turning 16 sweet tooth"

 

Sehun

03.16 AM "Thankyou hyung :)"

 

=

 

'April 13th, 2010'

 

=

 

"Hello?"

 

"Please tell me you're coming."

 

"Oh, Sehun?"

 

"Who else?!?!"

 

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't take a look at the screen."

 

"Are. You. Coming. Or. Not."

 

"I'm really trying to escape, okay? Please believe me."

 

"When are they going to stop killing your throat. You sound sore."

 

"I need to take this session so I can get higher grade. The higher my grade the bigger my chance to debut."

 

"Can't they just make you debut already?"

 

"Nah, debuting together, remember?"

 

"Ew. Okay."

 

"Has Joonmyun arrived?"

 

"Yeah he's talking to mom right now."

 

"Hahaha. And the cake?"

 

"Yeah. It looks cool. Thanks."

 

"Are you already sad that I'm not there?"

 

"Ew. No."

 

"Are you glad I'm not there?"

 

"If I am then I wouldn't have called you, Luhan."

 

"Hyung. Where's the hyung."

 

"Hyuuuung."

 

"Pretty good. Now open the door please?"

 

"Uh, why?"

 

"So I can come in and give you another cake."

 

"....."

 

"Don't tell me you fell for this surprise again."

 

"You're outside??"

 

"I can't believe this. Just open the door."

 

"Wait you're really outside??"

 

"Don't run you might fall- Sehun??? Are you okay??? Sehun??? Oh crap. Sehun answer me!"

 

"I fell."

 

"As expected. I'll just open the door myself. It's not locked after all."

 

"..... then why did you tell me to open it and made me fall dammit."

 

"DID YOU JUST CURSE??"

 

=

 

"Hello? Hyuuung!"

 

"It's... 3... in the morning... what do you want..."

 

"Tonight was uh-mazing!"

 

"... hmm..."

 

"Your singing was so beautiful I recorded everything."

 

"..... hmmm..."

 

"Thank you for being there like last year."

 

"Hmm... anything for you."

 

"Good night hyung."

 

".... night..."

 

"Hehehehehe."

 

"........"

 

"Geez. Bye."

 

=

 

'April 14th, 2011'

 

=

 

Disney South Korea

to me

yesterday

 

Dear our beloved costumer, Oh Sehun.

 

We are glad to inform you that we are able to proceed with your request for #277 BAMBI PLUSHIE (Qt: 1). Your item will be delivered on April 20th, 2011.

 

Thank you for trusting us to craft your magic!

 

Regards,

 

Disney South Korea

 

=

 

Lu Han 12.03PM

• (image)

• aww ;-)

 

Nuhesho 12.37PM

• NO

• THATS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE

 

Lu Han 12.39PM

• next time dont forget to log your email acc out from my browser

• and why bambi

 

Nuhesho 12.40PM

• bcs u are bambi

 

Lu Han 12.41PM

• should i kick you in the again

 

Nuhesho 12.42PM

• my surprise is over

• no fun

• srsly this is a disaster

 

Lu Han 12.43 PM

• idk if this would make you feel better but

• i will pretend to be surprised later :)

 

Nuhesho 12.44PM

• you :) better :) not :)

 

Lu Han 12.47PM

• where are you

• you havent eaten since morning

• i'll wait for you at the entrance door

 

Nuhesho 12.48PM

• omw

• hey did u know ;-)

 

Lu Han 12.49PM

• abt what

 

Nuhesho 12.50PM

• u re gonna debut soon!!!!

• u got into M2 rite

 

Lu Han 12.51PM

• yes

• I knew before everyone else did remember

• im sorry

• i really wish we could debut together

 

Nuhesho 12.52PM

• youve been saying that

• since yesterday

• im not ready 2 be in M2 anyway i still at mandarin

 

Lu Han 12.53PM

• :((((

• then what should I do

 

Nuhesho 12.54PM

• well

• u can count to five

• and look up

 

Lu Han 12.55PM

• ???

 

Nuhesho 12.56PM

• so u can greet the newest member of M1

• hehe

Nuhesho 11.27PM

• hyung

 

Lu Han 11.34PM

• yep?

• why arent you asleep yet

 

Nuhesho 11.36PM

• i still cant believe were gonna debut

• together :)

• well not really together they said since u guys are gonna focus on china but

• were gonna be on some stages together

• my bday wish came true :)

 

Lu Han 11.39PM

• why are you always so emo at these hours

• shoot

• now i cant sleep

 

Nuhesho 11.41PM

• how abt

• some

• tteokbokki

• and that 24 hrs bubble tea booth omg yes

 

Lu Han 11.49PM

• come out

 

Nuhesho 11.50PM

• YAAAAYYYYYY

 

=

 

'April 15th, 2012'

 

=

 

Sehun

09.22 PM "U know whats cool"

 

Luhan

09.23 PM "What"

 

Sehun

09.24 PM "That we debut on our birthday month"

09.24 PM "Makes us the first ones to celebrate our bdays as EXO ~~~~"

 

Luhan

09.25 PM "You have homeworks to do dont you"

09.25 PM "Math isnt it"

 

Sehun

09.25 PM "Can u not?????"

 

Luhan

09.26 PM "Go get your books"

 

Sehun

09.27 PM "Can we play first"

 

Luhan

09.28 PM "Can NOT"

09.28 PM "We still have rehearsals after this break"

 

Sehun

09.29 PM "I miss u :("

09.29 PM "Other hyungs are nice but theyre not u"

09.29 PM "Come back :("

 

Luhan

09.30 PM "Ive spoiled you too much"

 

Sehun

09.31 PM "U dont know how sad I was when you really didnt show up on my bday"

09.31 PM "I was like wow"

09.31 PM "Luhan hyungs prank came true"

 

Luhan

09.32 PM "I wouldve come if only I could"

09.32 PM "Looks like were not gonna celebrate our bdays together this year huh"

 

Sehun

09.33 PM "Will we be able to celebrate together next year?"

 

Luhan

09.34 PM "I will make sure of it"

 

Sehun

09.35 PM "Promise me"

09.35 PM "That we will celebrate our bdays together forever"

 

Luhan

09.36 PM "I promise"

09.36 PM "Now do your homework"

 

Sehun

09.37 PM "Joonmyun hyung is working on it ;-)"

 

Luhan

09.38 PM "You are a very spoiled brat"

 

Sehun

09.39 PM "Thanks 2 u ♡"

01.10 AM "Hyung"

 

Luhan

01.22 AM "Youre not asleep yet???"

01.22 AM "Rehearsals?"

 

Sehun

01.23 AM "No but"

01.23 AM "I was sleeping"

01.23 AM "But then had a nightmare"

 

Luhan

01.24 AM "Are you ok right now??"

01.24 AM "You dont need to tell me"

01.24 AM "Lets forget about it and talk abt smthing else"

 

Sehun

01.25 AM "Hyung"

01.25 AM "Will you ever leave me?"

 

Luhan

01.26 AM "???"

 

Sehun

01.27 AM "Promise me youll never leave me"

01.27 AM "Please"

 

Luhan

01.28 AM "I will never leave you Sehun"

01.28 AM "Please dont cry :("

 

Sehun

01.29 AM "How did u know"

 

=

 

'April 16th, 2013'

 

=

 

"I miss you already."

 

"It's only been two days."

 

"I don't know okay. I don't know. I don't know why I'm suddenly so scared that you would go missing like -"

 

"Yifan was out of his mind, okay? He didn't talk to anyone, even to Zitao, so he couldn't see the better side and left to find a piece of his mind again. And I assure you I won't do that stuff. Not to you. You know I always talk to you about everything, right?"

 

"Well... it's just that... who knew he would do that to Tao, I mean... he knows Tao can't function without him. How dare he... did that?"

 

"We need to put these thoughts aside, Sehun-ah. It's not good for the teamwork. And I'm sure Yifan is reflecting on his acts."

 

"... yeah."

 

"What are you so scared of? Don't you believe me?"

 

"I believe you, hyung.”

 

"Then what's the problem here?"

 

"... you're right. I shouldn't be like this. But hyung,"

 

"Hm?"

 

"Will you... ever leave me? I mean, do you think... someday, something will happen, and you will have to leave?"

 

"Sehun..."

 

"I... ever since Yifan hyung did that, I suddenly realized that there is nothing we can be sure of. We can't predict the future. Who knows, maybe someday... luck won't be by our side and -"

 

"Oh Sehun, you listen to me. Even if, even if I need to leave you someday, and God knows I would never want to, I won't leave you just like that. I will tell you everything. Even if it hurts. Even if you're going to be angry at me, even if you curse at me, I will be honest with you. I will never disappear out of sudden."

 

"... that's good to hear but... that also means that you might really leave me someday."

 

"Sehun, let's not worry about someday, 'kay? Let's focus on today. How are things going today?"

 

"Kyungsoo hyung was in his bedroom with Joonmyun for a quite long time... seemed like they were talking about something very serious. I don't like this, hyung. I feel suffocating. Jongin is not in his good mood. Chanyeol hyung and Baekhyun hyung sneaked out to get some fresh air. I'm the only one left in the living room."

 

"Poor you. Should we talk more? But no hard topics, okay?"

 

"Okay hyung."

 

=

 

"Ah, he said that?"

 

"Yes. It got me worried."

 

"I'm sorry, Han hyung, I didn't think Sehun would think that far. I promise I will pay attention to him better."

 

"No, Joonmyun, you already did an amazing job. It's just that Sehun tends to overthink things, as we all know. I'm just asking you to be more careful around him. He's fragile, you see."

 

"... let me ask you something, hyung."

 

"... what is it?"

 

"What makes you strong?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"Yifan said he was starting to feel overwhelmed. With all of these. With what our lives are changing to. That's why he left for Canada to get some fresh air. What about you? What makes you still holding on?"

 

"Joonmyun,"

 

"I need to know. I need to know so I can make excuses when the worst thing happens later. Especially to Sehun."

 

"What are you talking about?!"

 

"I can feel it, hyung. I can actually feel it."

 

"..."

 

"I can feel it."

 

=

 

'April 17th, 2014'

 

=

 

"Yifan hyung just got scolded again."

 

"Yeah. How's Taozi?"

 

"Not good. He didn't say anything when Yifan hyung came back, but he's been locking himself in his room after hyung was called to the headquarters."

 

"Please remind him to eat later."

 

"Should I worry, hyung?"

 

"Hm?"

 

"My feelings haven't been well lately. Ever since Yifan hyung left for the second time, then when he came back, then the Sewol tragedy. I feel like... I don't know, maybe it's all only in my head."

 

"Sehun, you know we can talk about this face to face once I get back to the dorm, right?"

 

"Nah, by the time you're here again everyone would be home as well. Then I won't get the chance to talk to you."

 

"Well we actually got plenty of time. Our comeback's been delayed, remember?"

 

"Whoa?? They really delayed it??"

 

"Yeah. It's Nation's Tragedy after all. So, back to you. You shouldn't worry. Everything's going to be fine."

 

"... can you say it again?"

 

"... everything's going to be fine."

 

"Okay. I believe you."

 

"Just wait for me to come home."

 

"Will do, Luhan."

 

"It's hyung to you brat-"

 

=

 

Luhan didn't mean to eavesdrop.

 

He seriously didn't mean to overhear anything.

 

But his instincts pulled him back when he was passing the practice room in the headquarters. Inside the room are two young men, who then later he recognized as-

 

"Don't tell me why." Joonmyun's hoarse voice comes in. "I don't want to know."

 

There's a pause, and the sound of Yifan exhaling heavily echoes throughout the space. "Joonmyun,"

 

"Let me just ask this." Joonmyun cuts in, sounding so broken. "Are you sure? About... that."

 

Yifan doesn't answer directly.

 

Luhan waits.

 

Yifan never answers.

 

Luhan doesn't try to find out.

 

He feels like he's going to find out the answer in not a long time.

 

Maybe in, approximately, a month.

 

=

 

'April 18th, 2015'

 

=

 

Zitao stiffens on the bed; suddenly the pain on his leg disappears. It's like life has seeped out of his body.

 

Sehun in front of him looks fragile, and scary.

 

"W-what," Zitao whispers, "Sehun, are you crazy?"

 

"It's alright." Sehun says softly with an equally soft smile. A broken one. "I'll understand. We will understand."

 

"Wait a goddamn minute, Sehun, I'm not Wu Yifan, okay, I'm not going to fly the out just like-"

 

"You won't be like him." Sehun cuts in. "You'll be like Luhan."

 

Zitao holds his breath.

 

Sehun looks so scary.

 

"Telling us beforehand might lessen the pain, apparently."

 

So damn scary.

 

"Don't force yourself to do something that doesn't make you happy. Even if it once made you happy, if it has turned to burden you, don't do it." Sehun says. "It's alright. I won't hate you. No need to be guilty."

 

Zitao gulps down shakily. Sehun looks like he's been possessed.

 

"Maybe if I told Luhan those things last year," Sehun whispers as he backtracks, "then he would feel guiltier than he does now."

 

"W-what?"

 

"Yeah." Sehun deadpans, "I told you those to make you feel guilty."

 

and turns around to walk out of the room.

 

Zitao immediately makes a call.

 

He hopes Luhan is not busy at the moment.

 

=

 

"Hey."

 

"What's up? We're on our way back to the do-"

 

"I want to disappear."

 

"Wait, what?"

 

"I really want to disappear."

 

"... where are you??"

 

"I don't recognize myself anymore. I'm not who I thought I am. I don't know anymore. I want to be gone. I want to ing die."

 

"Oh Sehun you better stop talking crap and tell me where you are-"

 

"Kyungsoo hyung... is everything my fault?"

 

"Are you ing kiddi-"

 

"The people I care about are starting to disappear one by one. What if... what if they left because of me? Now Tao is going to disappear as well... it's all beca-"

 

"Listen. I'm not going to have any of your madness, Sehun. You better tell me where you are and I'm going to get you. We're going to deal with this in adult's way."

 

"I'm tired."

 

"Sehun,"

 

"I'm tired of being left behind."

 

=

 

'April 19th, 2016'

 

=

 

"I'm so... tired. I feel like dying."

 

"Yeah."

 

"But that was super fun."

 

"Yeah too."

 

"Will we do well here?" Baekhyun asks. "I mean, this fanmeeting went well, that means our debut here will do well, right?"

 

Chanyeol chuckles, ruffling Baekhyun's hair. "Of course."

 

Sehun watches the conversation with a smile. They can be dead tired, but Chanyeol and Baekhyun would always find little energy so they can chat the tiredness away. His gaze wanders around the changing room; everyone's sprawled on the couches. Jongin is sleeping next to him. Jongdae and Minseok are talking in hushed tone. Joonmyun is checking his phone while he ocassionally talks to Kyungsoo.

 

There are a lot of people here, in the same room with him.

 

But somehow, just like other times, he feels lonely.

 

He's surrounded by people who love and support him enough to make him strong.

 

But the void inside his heart never got filled.

 

He checks his own phone and freezes when he sees the date and time.

 

'11.59 PM'

 

'Tuesday, April 19'

 

He waits patiently until the two numbers after the dot turns to zeroes.

 

He taps a contact to call.

 

"Hey," the person at the other side of the line greets softly.

 

"Hi." Sehun whispers. "Just in case I'm already asleep when it's midnight there, I'll just tell you now. Happy birthday."

 

Luhan doesn't say a thing for a moment. "Thank you so much, Sehun."

 

Sehun feels awkward. As awkward as when Luhan called him on his birthday two weeks ago. Awkward, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

 

At least it can cure the loneliness in his heart.

 

Although it also triggers something else.

 

"You're very tired, aren't you? I heard tonight is the last day for your fanmeeting."

 

Sehun goes blank for a moment. How dare Luhan ask that?

 

But then, why can't he?

 

Sehun suddenly smiles.

 

"Well, hyung, you know what,"

 

and ends up talking to Luhan more, about something that is not relevant for Luhan anymore.

 

But he talks,

 

and Luhan listens,

 

and they'd chuckle together.

 

After one year and six months, Sehun finally feel that things are falling into their rightful places.

 

And perhaps, a little bit less lonely as well.

 

=

 

'April 20th, 2017'

 

=

 

"You're so old."

 

"I know right."

 

"I saw your picture a few days ago, I could see wrinkles on your face."

 

"You were looking at my picture?"

 

"Just stumbled upon it."

 

"Yeah yeah. Thank you, Sehun. Thank you for calling, even just for today."

 

"Speaking of calling, I saw stuffs about your new single. On Call, isn't it?"

 

"... yes."

 

"I found the English translation. You know I've been studying English a lot so I could make out, like, eighty five percent of it."

 

"... and?"

 

"Well, nothing. The song would do good, I guess."

 

"Thank you."

 

"Is it for me?"

 

"... if it is, what do you say about it?"

 

"... would it matter?"

 

=

 

We move forward.

 

Not everyone can move on, but everyone moves forward.

 

Pain, anger, resentment, disappointment, longing, they might make us feel like we're stuck in the same second, like we will never get through it all.

 

But in the end, seconds pass.

 

And we all move forward,

 

bringing the pain all along.

 

When we look back to the days before those things happened, back when we were young, when we were innocent and certain, we might feel melancholic. We might regret the decisions we took. We might blame those who had caused the pain. We might ask ourselves, "how could I be such a fool?"

 

But then, when our minds get back to the present time, we would end up thinking,

 

that all those things, even ones that caused the sorrow, also helped in building who we are now.

 

We, today, are all made of what we were yesterday.

 

And in the end we'd find,

 

that it's okay to get hurt.

 

It's unfortunate, but it's okay.

 

Because it will all pass.

 

We might never move on,

 

but we'd move forward.

 

 

[A/N]

 

The 2^nd drabble for HunHan week.