CHAP 32:  GONE…

The space was strangely quiet. Only the sound of the friction between pens and paper was heard. They were sitting for an important test. High concentration was definitely required. Somewhere in the class, someone wasn’t doing the same. He was sitting on fire instead of for a test. How could he concentrate on anything when his only relative was in the hospital? Kiseop’s mother was suffering from a serious illness. Her condition was getting worse and worse these days. The poor son had always been blaming himself for not caring about her enough, for not realizing how exhausted she was, for not sharing her burden, for anything that might or even might not lead to this tragic situation. But what bled him dry wasn’t only that, it was how he hid furious waves in his heart, how he appeared so bright and strong in front of her. He had to be her stable shelter. However hard he was trying, he still found himself so helpless. Doctors had informed that her death was unavoidable and it would come anytime soon.

It had been several months since they found out she caught incurable disease. After school, he went straight to the hospital to take care of her. Luckily he knew well how to live independently. Therefore he didn’t face many difficulties. He cooked, washed their clothes, cleaned their house and helped her as much as he could. Although he wasn’t able to keep her by his side, he must let her rest in peace without any worry about her son. Even when her sweet smiles lingered on her pale face, Kiseop knew too well that she was very painful and scared. They had always been leaning against each other for a living. One leaving wasn’t an easy thing to deal with. Why was life so difficult?

Jaeseop and Kevin also knew about this. They usually came to visit their friend’s mother and help Kiseop some work. They both considered her as their real mother since she was their savior’s only parent and they spent plenty of free time at Kiseop’s home too. Especially with Kevin, who didn’t have a real home, he admired the time he was with Kiseop, his mother and Jaeseop. They were his family in every sense of the word. The fate, again, treated him so cruelly. Her death must leave a deep cut in his heart. But what he concerned more was how Kiseop faced that great loss, how Kiseop survived alone in this world. And Jaeseop shared the same thought as well when he looked at Kiseop’s tired figure. If only they could do anything for him.

After the examination, Kiseop ran straight to the hospital to check his mother. Something wasn’t right, he felt. On the way there, Jaeseop and Kevin also followed him. What if something bad happened today, what would they do? They didn’t know! They hadn’t prepared anything at all. They weren’t ready yet.

Kiseop hurriedly rushed into his mother’s room. There she was, leaning against the headboard of the bed. Her vague eyes immediately lit up when seeing her dear son. Her lips quickly formed a gentle smile.

“What’s wrong, honey?” she asked softly seeing her son’s hair getting tangled probably because of the winds on the way here.

“Oh, nothing. I just miss you so much.” Kiseop quickly replied. His hands messily combed his hair.

Kevin, from behind Kiseop’s back, came into the room with the brightest smile. He never failed putting on a fake face. Unlike Kevin, Jaeseop wasn’t good at that aspect. His legs still had some trouble in taking a few step ahead. Getting over his confusion, he also walked to her bed and greeted her. Kiseop swiftly became normal again. It turned out that his sense was wrong. That was good, really good.

“Mom, how are you today?” he asked. Pulling a chair close to her bed, he slowly sat on it then held her hand.

“Like every other day. How are your days, sons?” She smiled.

“Totally good. I passed the exam.” Kevin answered first.

“Me too!” Jaeseop followed Kevin giving his answer in the most cheerful way he could handle.

“I have just taken the test today so I haven’t got the result yet.” Kiseop pouted.

“Did you do well?” she asked.

“I think so. What do you want to do now?” Kiseop answered then quickly found a new subject to talk about.

“I want to go to the garden with three of you.” She said with a glint of tenderness in her eyes.

“I’ll get the wheelchair.” Jaeseop moves as agilely as a cat.

They all helped her sit on the wheelchair and went to the garden as her wish. At sunset, everything seemed to be blurrier than it originally was. Contrary to the emergency area, the sanitarium was much more quiet and peaceful. The hall was almost deserted. There were only a few nurses walking to each room to check the patients’ daily conditions.

The beauty of flowers couldn’t be denied. Even in an environment that made everyone or everything look more tiring, flowers still showed off their splendid beauty. In the sunset glow, they were even more brilliant and miraculous. The shadows of four people were printed on the path between rows of flowers and medicinal plants. Nothing much was heard. Everything appeared to be strangely tranquil.

“Kevin…” the woman suddenly called.

“I’m here.” Kevin responded with his angelic voice.

“You’re such a smart and strong kid. I really cherish you for that. But don’t let anything steal your childhood. Having an old head on young shoulders isn’t cute at all.” She said chuckling a little.

“What are you talking about?” Jaeseop doubted.

“And you Jaeseop! You have bothered my son a lot, haven’t you?” she looked in Jaeseop’s direction.

“I… I’m just…” Jaeseop scratches the back of his head embarrassedly.

“I’m just kidding. Kiseop must be happy to have you around.” She laughed.

“Remember to take care of my son, you two.” She told then went back to admiring the sunset and flowers.

“Mom, don’t talk things like that.” Kiseop said uncomfortably.

“Kiseop ah, don’t be like that. Come here with me.” she ordered.

Not wanting to make his mother upset, the boy obediently sat down in front of her. He felt her hold his hand and squeeze it tightly.

“I want to tell you this before something bad might happen.” She started knowing too well that the boys around her were trying hard not to break out.

“You’re always a great boy. I’m so proud that I have you as my son. I’m sorry that I can’t give you a better life that you deserve.” She continued in a voice choked with emotion.

“Mom, don’t say that. I’m always satisfied with the life you give.” he said changing the position of their hands so that he was now holding her shaky hands.

“…” she lost her words in a moment. Things weren’t as easy as she expected. She now regretted saying dying words. If she left in silence, it would be easier for her to deal with.

But thinking again, her son deserved more than silence. He had always been trying so hard. Silence would break him down even more. She wanted to make some careful recommendations to her sons before leaving this world.

“Thank you so much…” she said after gathering courage again.

“I don’t know how my life would turn out to be if you didn’t exist. You are like a miracle in my life, Kiseop ah.” She voiced in tears.

Kevin and Jaeseop somewhat understood that feeling, the feeling to have a miracle light up their lives. However, their cases must be much less complicated. The feeling to give birth to a child and have him as the source of life must be an ineffable one that only mothers knew.

“Mom…” Kiseop managed to let out a word but then nothing left his mouth.

“I can’t stay with you anymore. But don’t worry. You don’t have to be alone. You have Jaeseop and Kevin here with you. That must be great. And you will have more people stand by your side, I believe so. Is that right, you guys?” she said looking up to the two boys standing behind her wheelchair.

By this way or another, Jaeseop and Kevin had held each other’s hand since when they didn’t even know. It must be less painful to share that pain with someone. Nodding heads suddenly became so hard that it took every ounce of energy from their bodies to do so.

“See? Everyone agrees with me.” she chuckled. Tears made her eyes go blurry.

“Always be happy, okay? You know that if you are happy then I will too. So will Jaeseop and Kevin.” she said.

There was no doubt that mother was the one that understood her children most. She knew that Kiseop was a responsible person. He would live better with responsibilities, although he might be tired sometimes. But she believed that when he was tired, his friends would support him immediately. Jaeseop would help him express what he needed to express. And Kevin would always support him this way or another. She was certain of that.

“Promise me that you will live well after I’m gone.” She ordered firmly.

“I promised.” Kiseop exclaimed. It was a miracle that he was still able to hold back his awaiting tears. Maybe, miracles would happen when you had a graceful goal and never gave up hope on it.

“Good boy.” She said pushing his hands away to caress his hair. Kiseop looked up and started to wipe her tears with his thumbs.

“I have arranged everything for your life after my death…” she was cut off in the middle.

“Don’t say that word.” Kiseop shook his head in scare.

“It’s unavoidable. You must learn to deal with it.” She frowned.

“You will meet your adoptive parents tomorrow.” She announced all of a sudden. Her mood changed into happy when thinking about the said people.

“What?” Kiseop was taken aback.

“That’s the last thing I can do for you.” She smiled warmly.

“Enough for today.” She sighed satisfyingly.

“Jaeseop, bring me back to my room.” She turned around to tell the mentioned boy.

“Kevin, may you help Kiseop a little?” she suggested and quickly received a nod from Kevin.

The four people turned back to the hospital room. Each one carried in their heart a burden of thoughts. But at least, they were readier than before. The darkness was falling down their heads. Some special flowers started to spread their fragrances giving them a sense of comfort.

That midnight, in the dorm, Jaeseop and Kevin received a phone call from Kiseop. His voice was dry and shattered. They immediately ran to the hospital. Uncle Kim, the old guard, was the one to let them leave the dorm that late. He actually wanted to come with them too. But the duty didn’t allow him to do so.

The hospital hall was totally deserted and terribly quiet. The weak light from fluorescent lamps illuminated the cold pathway. A pitifully small shadow of a teenager dropping himself on the hard floor huddled up in a corner next to the row of seats. Their mother was gone.

The funeral was held smoothly. Kiseop’s teachers and his mother’s friends helped him a lot. Anyway before she died, she had told him to sell the house for money. He did as he was told. The house was cheaper and the fee for the ceremony was more expensive than he thought. So he had nothing left now. But he didn’t worry about that since he had adoptive parents now. When they came to see him with the necessary papers, he was taken aback completely. Not only, Kevin and Jaeseop were as well.

When he lowered her coffin into the grave was attended by many people that he didn’t even know. Somehow they knew about her death and came here to pay some pity that wasn’t necessary, according to Kevin. The boy, somewhat negative and selfish, just wanted this ceremony to end soon. Kiseop couldn’t take it any longer. He just put on that warm and strong face to greet everyone. Kevin had never seen the older guy cry for once, even after this event. That night, he and Jaeseop had cried a lot. But not Kiseop, he just sat silently letting something no one knew gradually swallow him.

Kevin himself knew too well how it felt to wear a fake face. It was extremely exhausted! Kevin was aware of Kiseop’s characters. But no one died if he cried, if he showed his weakness and misery. Getting frustrated, Kevin heaved a helpless sigh. All he could do was standing behind Kiseop and helping him stand straight and complete his duty.

Contrary to the calm Kevin and the unreadable Kiseop, Jaeseop was much clumsier. It seemed that he was trying hard to hold back his emotions. He was pulling a wry face and tightening his palms. His look was so miserable. Jaeseop had always been a pretty straightforward person. If he was sleepy, he would sleep. If he was interested in Kevin, he wouldn’t hide. If he was worried, he would get confused. If he was sad, he would cry. Not that he showed everything but he, at least, didn’t cover much.

After everyone left, Jaeseop walked Kiseop home. Kevin had to go home as his father wanted. Tomorrow Kiseop would move to his new home. So today was the last day he spent at the house where his mother and he had lived together all these years. He carefully looked at everything in this house as if he was taking in everything he had with his mother. Everywhere had his mother’s sign. What a pity that he couldn’t keep this lovely home.

Jaeseop silently watched every move the other took. Moments later, someone brought them food and said that Kevin told him to do so. That kid always knew how to settle things and take care of others. Jaeseop went to the kitchen to prepare the dish leaving the other boy in the bedroom alone.

“Kiseop! Time to eat!” Jaeseop called from the small kitchen.

It took Kiseop a few minutes to come out. Tiredness was written over his face. But still, there was no tear. Jaeseop looked into his soulless and bone-dry eyes. He didn’t know what to think or how to react to this. He just couldn’t endure anymore.

Kiseop slowly pulled out the chair and sat next to the younger boy. When he was about to eat, Jaeseop stopped him. The boy pulled him so that they were facing each other now. Kiseop looked at him puzzlingly.

“Kiseop ah, you can cry now.” after thinking for something to say, Jaeseop ended up with that sentence. That was what he wanted, so let’s make it simple.

Jaeseop’s hand cupped the other’s face, which used to be so bright but turned gaunt now. He looked into Kiseop’s eyes with his set and caring ones. Unknowingly a stream of water weaved its way into the spaces between Jaeseop’s fingers. It was strangely warm. Tears steadily escaped his glistening eyes and fell down nonstop.

Jaeseop remained the position so that Kiseop could cry comfortably. Not much sniffle was heard. Just simply tears. The only relative Kiseop had was gone. The feeling of loss just pulled him down too much. To some extent, he lost his words, his thoughts and his manners. Luckily someone had pulled him back in time. Sometimes if you didn’t speak out, no one knew what you thought.

Jaeseop watched Kiseop cry, feeling painful and happy at the same time. Food had got cold but it wasn’t a big deal now. Today was enough.              

A/N: It feels like a century has passed since I last updated!! Deeply sorry TT^TT

Anyone hates me for that??? Anyway, I still miss you guys A LOT!!!! Thank you for still subscribing my story *flying kisses*

Like in the case of Sky of love, I come back with an unhappy chapter =((((((((((((((((((((

Writing this made me feel bad for the whole night!! I don't know if it is sad enough, but I tried my best :))

If anyone feels sad too, raise you hands to let me know that I have someone with me LOL~~

What do you think about Kiseop's adaptive parents and his life in future?? Please look forward to next chapters which I don't even know when it will appear =))))))))))))

HOPE YOU ENJOY READING AND PLEASE COMMENT!!!

KEEP SUPPORTING UKISS <3333333333333333333333333    

If there are Sky of Love readers here, you must know that tomorrow is my 18th birthday!!! Cheers for me!! Updating 2 chapters for 2 stories at the same time is my gift for myself =)))))))))))))))))))))