"So, what is your problem Hwang Miyoung?" Jessica, my bestfriend said. She came today as a 'patient', which she is forced to book an appointment so that I can talk to her at my office privately.

Jessica and I both grew at California. Went to the same school and evetually became best friends, grew up together, graduated together and decided to move to Korea together. We both know each other so well, better than our own parents perhaps. And for all the years that we became bffs, she keeps on calling me Hwang Miyoung. I hate that name. It's too old.

"I told you to stop calling me that" Hwang Miyoung, my Korean name. Well, I have a lot of names. Stephanie Young, Hwang Miyoung, Tiffany Hwang. I decided to stick with the last one. It's more...human-like whatsoever.

"Alright then. Tiff, what the hell is your problem?" She asked in english "This better be good since you forced me to have an 'appointment' with you."

"There's this one patient.." I started, I saw her nod, gesturing for me to continue "and I think I'm getting attached to that patient."

"What?!" She said in english again, with her eyes widened "Attached?! Are you for real Tiffany?" I nodded in embarrasment.

"You know this is dangerous right? What if they know that you're..." She paused "wait..did you two went out already?"

"Had a walk, had ice cream last night, yes." I answered.

She waved her hands in the air "Oh my gosh, Tiffany! Do you know what you've gotten into?" I sighed at what she said. "you might lose your license when somebody from the outside knows!" I know.
"You know the Patient-Doctor relationship is a big No No right? Patient-doctor should stay as patient-doctor"

"I know! But Jess.." I finally managed to speak "I havent...well I'm sure that I dont like her..." Yet

She paused for a minute. Looked at me with eyes wider than before. Is that even possible? "HER?!" she slightly shouted

"Shush! You're being too loud."

"You like a girl? And she's your patient?" She asked with a calm tone, with a hint of disappointment.

"Yes she's my patient. And no, I do not like her. I told you, just attached." I answered truthfully. I dont have feelings for that girl...dont I?

She rubbed the temple of her head, an action that you do when your head hurts "Tiff, look. As a bestfriend, its okay for me if you like a girl–" I cut her off "I do not like her" I answered fast

"Okay okay, whatever" she continued "its just that..about your work... You know the rules right? No affairs, no relationship, no anything with your patient." I nodded. I've been thinking about that last night. "You might lose your license, and worse, your job itself!" She scolded. Sigh.

"And that patient is a girl. I told you, its okay for me. But is it okay for your job?" I shook my head "If its not okay for your job, it wont be okay for you." I sighed again.

Jessica patted my shoulder "It's just too risky." She showed a sad smile "and attachments is a big no no too! It will be a big stress for your job and life. You might get used to something, and one day you'll be looking for it, without knowing that it's gone." She added. I know that too. But why?

Why does it have to be this way? Why are doctors not allowed to have a relationship with a patient? May it be a friendship nor relationship, it doesnt matter! Will it affect the job? Yes, but in some circumstances, no. You cant just control one's feelings.

"You can go with the flow with that patient. It's okay to like her" she lifted my head up since I'm looking at the floor "but you need to think of the consequences too." I nodded and smiled. She kissed me on my forehead "tell me about this patient of yours next time, I'll be going now"

"Thanks for coming Jess." I hugged her before she left my room.

She's the last person that I'll be meeting today....well....before Taeyeon.

****

"Hi" a girl wearing black pants and white shirt greeted me when I opened the door

"Hey" I answered, still thinking about the conversation that I had with Jessica.
"You okay?" She asked. I'm not in the mood, sorry.
"Yeah, I'm fine" I lied "Just tired, I guess" again
"Didn't get enough sleep?" I nodded. I cant tell another lie.

"Then, let's eat!" She said, trying to lighten up the mood "I know a place that has great beef."

Ugh. Why do you have to be so...why do you have to be like this Taeyeon?

*

Taeyeon brought me to this place that has #1 beef on the area. The smell coming from the place itself is so good, not gonna lie about it. It even made my tummy rumble.

I cant stay like this forever. I cant show my 'im-not-in-the-mood' side to this person. I dont want to make her feel bad. So I decided to just let it go, and just go with the flow. Act normal Tiffany.

"How's your last patient?" Taeyeon asked before putting beef on the grill to cook. I cant say a word, since its only Jessica who came as my last patient. Which is actually not considered as a patient.
"Fine" I said "same old, same old."

After she finished cooking the beef, she put it on my plate "there, eat up. You look so drained" not gonna lie, again, I feel drained. I want to go home. I want my mind to rest. But if I do go home, I fear that it will make me overthink even more now that I'm alone.

"Thanks" I answered. I took a bite on the beef. My eyes got wide. The beef is surprisingly good. It's juicy, tender, and tasty. It's like there are fireworks when you take a single bite. Sparks, just like when I touched her hand. What?

"Tastes good right?" She said, taking me back to the real world.
"ing amazing" yes, I cursed. But that one piece of beef is curse-worthy. I never tasted anything like that.

Taeyeon didnt payed that much attention to the curse I suddenly blurted out, she laughed at it instead "that was the exact sentence that I said when I ate that for the first time" she started cooking some more

She's so different. Is this really Taeyeon? My patient? The one who got dumped by her girlfriend? Ex girlfriend. The one who has a lot of problems? The one who doesnt trust others but trusts me?

You are mysterious girl, Taeyeon. Why do you make me want to know you more?

I rubbed the right temple of my head.

"Tiffany, are you okay?" She asked worriedly. I cant handle this anymore. I've been thinking too much today. I need to rest my mind.

"Sorry, yes. Just not feeling well" I said. I didnt lie. I was really not feeling well.

"Do you want to go home after eating?"

"But your appointment–" she cut me off
"It's fine. We can do that tomorrow. Or whenever you're okay." She said. I smiled and thanked her. We didnt talk thag much after that. I cant even look at her for one straight minute without thinking 'am I attracted to you?'

**

She dropped me home, well on my condo, right after we finished eating, since I have no energy to walk and take the bus. I told her I'll text her whenever I feel better to have her session. She said I should take my time and rest.

Once I got to my condo, I went straight to my room to find medicine for headache. I drank it immediately the moment I found one and found my way to the bed. All of a sudden, my phone vibrated.

[TY>TF]
"Get well, Fany-ah! ^^"

I held my phone to my chest and closed my eyes.
Three words. A thousand feelings. What is happening to you Tiffany?

And with that, I drifted to sleep.