I remember how she brushed her lips against mine. I remember the feeling of her breath hitting my face. I remember her scent, sweet sweet vanilla. I remember how excited I feel. I want more. I want to kiss her more. But I cant.

I told her that I should go. I want to give her space, some time to think. She havent said a single word after the kiss, but I know she understands what I mean. I told her to text me if she needs someone. Then, I hugged her for the last time today. Her body pressing against mine. But its a sad hug.

When I was about to leave, I looked back at her. Still on the same place, but she's hugging her legs and her head lowered. But she's not crying. Thank God. I closed the door and left.

****

I am now sitting in my room, my lampshade on, beer in my hand. It's 3am and I cant sleep so I decided to drink, to make me feel sleepy. It's my fifth bottle and I'm still wide awake. Maybe having beer makes my thoughts go louder.

A lot of things happened today, and I cant stop thinking about it. I cant stop thinking about the drawing, the kiss. I cant stop thinking about Taeyeon.

Is she okay? Is she sleeping now? Did she still cry when I left? Did she brake more stuff on her house?

I know, and I understand her situation. You've been with someone for 2 years, without knowing that it was all a lie. And the boy has no idea too. It's a complete waste of time. Rather than having your efforts appreciated and her time well spent, you spent two years with a girl that is lying to you. When I slapped the girl, I dont feel bad about it, not even a bit. I know a like her deserves that slap and embarrasment.

Taeyeon must be having a hard time dealing with life's bull. But I hope, I really hope that she does not do anything to hurt her.

I was about to sip from the beer bottle when my phone rang. Who is it? Who will call me at this hour? I looked at my phone and Taeyeon's name is on the screen. Why is she calling?

[Hello?] She said once I answered. Her voice deeper than her normal voice.

"Taeyeon? What's wrong? Why did you call?" I ask, worried as hell.

[Nothing, I just-] she paused, I noticed the big difference of her voice. [I'm sorry]

"What are you sorry for?"

[Earlier. I'm sorry that you saw that]

"Ah, I totally understand. You dont need to say sorry. I will be the same if I was you"

A short silence occured, not even a breath can be heard from the other line.

"Hello?"

[Oh. Sorry. I was going to text you but I cant, everything is blurry]

"What? Are you okay?" I get it now. I think she's- "are you drinking?"

[Yeah..]

"Where are you?"

[In my car]

"What place?"

[I dont..really know]

"What? What does your surrounding look like?"

[I...cant really see. It's dark, the only lights that can be seen are from my car.]

"Are you on a roadside?"

[I guess so. But there are no other cars]

"Could you turn on your gps?"

[I cant. It's blurry. My hands are shaking]

"But how did you managed to call me?"

[I dont know. My hands just found their way to your contact name]

I dont know if I should be touched or not. She's drunk but yet, so sweet.

[Can I tell you something?]

"Hmm?" She's drunk, whatever it is she's going to tell me might be a lie or truth.

But she did not answer. I heard a groan on the other line. "Taeyeon? Are you okay? What's happening?"

She cleared before answering [I'm fine] another groan was heard.

"Are you sure?"

[Yeah, I just feel nauseous that's all]

"Stop drinking" says the person who is also drinking. She did not answer, so I asked "what is it you wanted to tell me?"

[Two things. First, I am terribly sorry for what happened earlier. It was all unexpected. And my anger was all unexpected too. I did not know that I'll be that angry]

"I told you, it's fine" I assured "what's the second one?"

[I like you]

I am so not sure if I'm going to believe what she just said. Did she say this because of what happened earlier? Did she say this because she's sad and broken? Did she say this because she's drunk?

"You're drunk."

[I cant tell if I'm drunk or not. But I can tell that what I'm saying is the truth. It's me who's speaking here, not the alcohol. Please dont ever think that I said that because I'm sad or anything.] she read my mind [I said that because I like you, Tiffany. I really do. You make me happy. You're the only person that I feel comfortable to tell about my problems. You're there for me. You're here for me when no one else is. And I swear, I'm going to remember what I've said now tomorrow or the next day or the day after that]

I raised my hand and placed it on my chest, on where my heart is. I feel so touched. I can feel that it was a sincere confession and I believe it. Because I know, I like her too.

[I want to kiss you again so badly.] I heard her sniff. [But not a sad kiss this time]

"Are you crying?"

[I just feel so happy that I have you]

My heart is beating CRAZY fast. I want to kiss her now too, but how? I could meet her but I dont know where she is.

"If you still remember what you've said tomorrow, or later, you'll get a kiss"

[Really?] I could feel her excitement. I know her eyes widened at what I've said. I mean it.

"Yes, really" I smiled

[Cant wait for tomorrow. Or later] I know I cant see her, but I can feel that she's also smiling

[I should go now. Sorry for disturbing you. I'll see you later, Tiffany.]

"Take care on your way home, okay?"

[I will]

"See you later. Taetae" I blushed saying her nickname. We ended the call with a huge smile plastered on my face.

***

Morning came already and Taeyeon is not texting me. She did not even scheduled an appointment. So I decided to text her myself.

"Hey Taetae. Where are you?
No appointment for today?" I pressed send. She usually replies fast, but she didn't.

Worry started to enter my body. I remember, she was drunk just this midnight. Could it be.. no no no. She's fine. Something must've happen. Maybe she woke up late or..the wind suddenly blew my office curtains, causing it to slighty open and show the outside. Ah I'm going crazy!

I have patients to meet for today and I should be focused on them. Taeyeon will text me. I know she will.

~

Another day has passed and not a single text from her was received. I'm worried sick now. I don't know what to do. My heart is breaking and sinking at the same time. Help me.

I got my conciousness back when I heard someone speak "so I read her diary..." Ah yes, I'm in the middle of an appointment and..wait what?!

"What?! You read her diary?" I almost dropped the notebook that was on my hand, I was drawing unknown lines while I stare into space, completely forgetting that a patient is sitting in front of me.

"Yes I did but I did that to make sure of-" I cut her.

"A diary is a private property, and even parents should not touch that" I said to Yubin, my patient, she's a mother. And she's telling this story about her daughter that looks and feels different than before. So she decided to read her diary. "I know that you're her mother, and she might be going through something. So writing it on her diary helps her. But you should not cross that line."

"How am I supposed to help her if she's not telling me anything?"

"That's your responsibility, to ask her. You know something's wrong, yet you dont even make a single move. Do you think it will make her feel better if she found out that you read her diary?"

She shook her head.

"Just ask her what's wrong. There might be a reason why she is not telling you. But she will tell you. Dont be too hard on her. Just ask her, dont tell her about the diary, assure her that you'll help and there you go." I explained. I can feel my blood boiling. Just the thought of her reading her daughter's diary makes me mad. If something is wrong with my child, I will ask them as soon as possible. I will assure them that I will always be there for them, and they can tell me anything. They wont face it alone.

She nodded. "Yes I will. Thank you doc."

"I'm sorry for raising my voice earlier. I just thought that it was wrong."

"I understand, and I learned my lesson. Thanks again doc."

And with that, my last session was finished.

I checked my phone to see if there's any messages. There is one, but it's from an unknown number.

[xxx xxxxx xx>TF]
"Excuse me, but is this Doctor Hwang? This is Sunny, Taeyeon's close friend. I just texted to inform you that Taeyeon is in the hospital right now because of an accident. I'm sorry for not informing you earlier."

My eyes widened in shock. Heart scattering to pieces. What? Taeyeon? In the hospital? Accident?

[TF>SN]
"What? What happened to her? Where is she?"

[SN>TF]
"She's at Seoul City hospital on room 309. It's better to tell the whole story in person. If you dont mind, please visit her."

[TF>SN]
"I'll be on my way"