Kim Yongsun wakes up abruptly.

She lost count of how many times she was awoken in a such unpleasant way for months. She keeps having nightmares from an event than happened almost five years ago. It was horrible and she hates the fact that she can’t do anything about it. Joohyun told her that it’s definitely a post traumatic disorder from what happened to her at that period of time in Yongsun’s life.

She hates that she couldn’t make it stop. She hates that she’s also not the only one suffered from it because Joohyun herself admitted that sometimes she gets nightmares too and little panic attacks here and there—but Joohyun was nothing like what Yongsun have been through.

And Joohyun isn’t alone. She has Kang Seulgi by her side who’s willing to do anything to make sure that Joohyun is getting better and better, even when it takes a long time. She was glad that Joohyun isn’t getting through the terrible phase alone, but she can’t deny that she’s jealous too of what Joohyun has.

Because ever since that day, Yongsun only have herself she can rely on.

Sure, both Seulgi and Joohyun were still there to keep her grounded. They do take care of Yongsun every now and then, but they can’t always be there for her. And Yongsun was aware that every terrible thing happened to them was because of Yongsun herself. Because she was being naïve and selfish.

Her friends got hurt a lot because of her.

Because she wanted to rescue her girlfriend—

Wait, girlfriend?

Were they even together that time? As far as Yongsun can remember—which was almost everything—she and that person never really got official. Everything was mutual between them, but they’re not a couple, they’re not dating, they’re just… buddies with feelings involved.

Ridiculous.

However, despite all that, her friend Joohyun has pretty much recovered from her PTSD, which was a really great thing. Yongsun got better too, though her progress isn’t as significant as Joohyun. Seulgi’s case however wasn’t as serious as Joohyun and Yongsun, so it didn’t take too much time for Seulgi to recover. She did become more cautious and according to Joohyun, Seulgi does have nightmares as well, but very rarely.

Her friends told Yongsun to not worry too much. That things will get better, they will get better, she will get better.

However, they didn’t really bring up anything about that person.

Neither did Yongsun.

She thought she brought enough damage to herself and her friends by getting involved in her mess. Yongsun choose to keep everything to herself, this was also the reason why her recovery takes longer and harder to get through. She opens up about every single thing but that person.

It’s like she locked that person somewhere inside her mind, away from her conscience and away from her reality. But no matter how hard she tries, even after three years, she can still see her at the back of her mind, in her sleep, in her short reveries. It’s almost frustrating, but oddly, her sight never actually triggers anything bad. It didn’t seem like a nightmare at all.

Because Yongsun knew, deep down, that her feelings never falter.

You think it’s a Stockholm syndrome? That is very unlikely because she never even once intentionally hurt her. Yongsun wasn’t a hostage nor she was threatened at all. She had plenty of times to do numerous lists of bad things to Yongsun, but she chose not to. Because of what? Could be many things, but Yongsun was sure that their feelings for each other were truly mutual and that is got to be the huge reason why.

So, what happened to her?

Yongsun had no idea.

The last news she heard about her was that she was taken by the authorities. Her arrest didn’t go public at all, but the rest of the former crews were reported dead at the scene—including that horrible man.

The heartless lunatic man who was going to take Yongsun and Joohyun away that night. She remembered there were bombs going off everywhere in the building. She remembered all of them were trying to get out of that place as fast as possible. She remembered they all survived even though one of them lost their conscious due to the bomb impact.

She didn’t remember every detail, but the one who lost their conscious was that person.

The news reported that she went missing in less than twenty-four hours after being admitted to the hospital.

Her name never been revealed to the public—nor if anyone really knew the real name because Seulgi informed them that the police couldn’t be sure of her identity. No one really says anything about it but Yongsun knew Seulgi did something to keep her name away from the case. They only shared knowing gazes at each other, Yongsun was thankful for that despite everything that happened to them.

It’s been five years since that unfortunate day.

Yongsun wondered if she will ever forget it.

Her nightmares lessened, but even after five years she’s still not able to completely put it off her mind. Especially her. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was still alive…

If she did, what happen to her?

Is she okay? Where does she live now? Maybe in a remote area where any news can get through to that place, an area where most people don’t know any big things that happened in the big populated city like Seoul.

Has she been living alone all this time? Or is her friend, Wheein, with her too?

Yes, Wheein.

That girl had been missing too after that day. No one looked for her because she was never seen at the scene. Yongsun couldn’t really tell what was she doing that night. She captured her, took her to her devilish father and at the end of it all, she helped them. Maybe it was Wheein’s plan all along or maybe she just had a sudden change of heart at that moment. Either way, Yongsun was glad she ended up helping them or else none of them would be alive.

So, there’s that.

There’s a chance that Wheein had been staying with her.

She wondered if they—especially her—ever think about Yongsun too.

Like she’s thinking about them now.

Does she miss her?

Does she ever thought about looking for her?

Yongsun abruptly stopped her thinking when her doorbell rings.

Gods, what would I even do if she really looked for me?

She gets off the bed and shakes her head, trying to clear up her mind.

Focus, Yongsun!

She made a quick trip to the bathroom, spla