Mark

No one noticed the figure clad in black sneak out of the dorm in the middle of the night. None of the six young men awoke as the door closed softly behind the lean figure. Not a single one of them heard the silent tears falling down his cheeks as he harshly brushed them away.

He breathed in the night air saturated with the smell of blooming flowers and late summer nights. The air was warm and the sky was clear revealing numerous stars scattered across the dark blue background. He couldn't bring himself to enjoy any of it. He set off in a hurry not noticing any of the people he passed. Many of them were out enjoying the warmth of the late night.

He smiled bitterly when he saw a family with two young kids.

"It's really time to go now" the mother said in a soft loving voice to the kids playing in the sand "come on it's getting late" she ushered as she put out her hand. The smallest of the two sprinted towards his mother and grabbed her hand like his life depended on it. Another tear slipped from his eye unnoticed.

He hadn't seen his parents in months.

It wasn't the reason he was crying though.

Of course it wasn't.

He quickly brushed pas them and made his way towards the dark park in the middle of town. Unlike the rest of his surroundings the park looked dark, eery, depressing even. Exactly what he was looking for.

He entered still walking quickly as though walking as fast as he could meant he could walk away from it. The darkness of the trees lining the path closed around him and he came to a halt suddenly. He was breathing heavily, he couldn't even remember if he had actually ran or not.

He sank down to the floor and hid his face in his hands. Before he knew it he had started crying again not being able to control the sobs echoing trough his body anymore.

Why he was crying? You tell him. It wasn't that he wanted to exactly, he just couldn't seem to stop.

Maybe because his parents were thousands of kilometres away, maybe because he hadn't been able to dance or move properly for the past week because he just had to lose his concentration and fall during practice, maybe because it seemed like s were ignoring him, maybe because Jinyoung was a little too close to Jaebum for his liking. Maybe just because he was weak, and couldn't handle his struggles alone.

He dragged himself off the cold ground and shuffled towards a bench. He had to try his hardest to not literally fall onto it as weeks of being sleep deprived, sad, jealous and angry hit him like he had walked face firsr into a brick wall. His entire body felt heavy and before he knew it his eyes had shut and he was enveloped in the darkness he had become so familiar with.

~

Jaebum

"Jaebum wake up, Jaebum. Oh for 's sake WAKE UP"

Jaebum stirred in his sleep and finally rolled over as the yells reached his eardrums and were processed by his brain.

"What do you need Jinyoung" he grumbled and turned over again "do you have any idea how early it is" he mumbled into his pillow.

"Mark is gone" Jinyoung practically screamed. These words finally woke him up. He shot up in bed and stared at the younger in shock.

"Gone? What do you mean gone" he asked hurriedly.

"Exactly as I'm saying it, he's gone, disappeared from the surface of the earth, nowhere to be seen" Jinyoung said throwing his hands up in frustration.

"Okay Jinyoung, calm down, I'm sure he's fine and just went out for a walk" he said as he hopped out of bed.

"Yeah that's what I told myself last night too, but people don't usually go for a walk at three in the morning and never come back do they" Jinyoung snapped. He hopped around trying to find something to put on.

"Let's talk about this somewhere else" he said ushering Jinyoung out of the door. Outside the rest of the members were piling out if their rooms as well, rubbing their eyes and yawning.

"What's going on" Yugyeom asked and let out a big yawn.

"Yeah, we heard screaming" Jackson added.

"Mark is gone" Jinyoung said before he could stop him.

"Huh" Bambam said sleepily.

"What" Youngjae said, who seemed to be the only one wake enough to understand.

"Jinyoung" he said quietly "let them wake up and eat first, I'm sure Mark is fine" he said looking towards him. Jinyoung opened his mouth to say something again but he cut off "and if he hasn't returned after that, well go looking for him, alright?"

Jinyoung shot him a look that could've killed him and turned around and walked towards the door. He quickly followed him.

"What are you doing" he asked.

"I'm going to look for him" Jinyoung said while putting his shoes on "You go ahead and have breakfast" he said as he straightened. He quickly grabbed a jacket and closed the door behind him with a loud snap. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, Jinyoung was never going to listen to him.

~

Jinyoung

The jacket wasn't necessary, not at all. Did he care? No. Of course not. He couldn't even think about anything else but Mark. He understood that the others weren't worried. Mark was good at what he did, he made sure no one ever saw. But he had been suspicious for a couple of weeks now. He had seen Mark become even more quiet, close himself off even more. He and Mark had a bond that was different from the others, he could understand Mark, see though him.

But now..

He had no idea where to go, no idea where to look. He hadn't seen this coming, hadn't heard him leave. He should have acted earlier. But no, he had decided to let Mark come to him, give him time. He had thought he would come when he was ready to talk about it.

It's just that he had never done that.

Doom scenarios coursed through his head, did he get drunk and ended up somewhere unconscious? Did he do something bad to himself? Was he hurt?

He groaned. Not knowing what the hell happened frustrated him.

He sighed. He could beat himself up, drive himself completely crazy with thoughts about what he should've done, with thoughts about what could've happened to Mark. But all of that wouldn't help him find Mark.

Alright, if he were Mark, where would go? Somewhere excluded, yes. Somewhere quiet. But it was summer, which meant people were out more. He strolled further, without really watching where he was going. He bumped into a girl and just continued walking without even apologizing. In a daze he walked straight into the local park. The park was huge and very beautiful with all its blooming flowers, but he couldn't get himself to enjoy it.

He walked further as his brains registered a person sitting on a bench at the side of the path staring aimlessly in front of him. He let out a gasp of relief and felt like he could cry.

"Mark" he called out and said boy's head shot up. His eyes widened in surprise, red and puffy. He quickly made his way towards him.

"Oh God, we were so worried, I'm so glad I found you, are you alright" he rambled. Mark's face became cold and he lifted one eyebrow.

~

Mark

"I was just on a morning walk Jinyoung" he heard himself say. Jinyoung's expression went through a series of changes before settling on slightly annoyed.

"I guess a morning walk means you need to leave at three in the morning" Jinyoung snapped. , so he had noticed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" he pushed.

"No idea" Jinyoung said laughing in disbelief "Mark you scared the living out of me when you didn't return, what on earth is going on"

He got up and started to make his way towards the exit of the park, until he felt a strong hand close around his wrist and turn him back around.

"Oh no, don't you dare, I have been waiting for weeks for you to come to me and talk about it, to explain. I'm not letting you walk off after you just dissapeared like that" Jinyoung hissed in anger.

He felt anger burn through his body. Jinyoung didn't care, no one did, and there was no reason for him to explain. He equally as much didn't want to, in fear of sounding petty and sad and as thought he couldn't handle anything by himself. So he translated that fear into anger because it was the best way to shut people out.

"Just leave me alone, you're overreacting" he said tugging his wrist free from Jinyoung's grip.

"I'm overreacting" Jinyoung said in disbelief "You were gone for an entire night"

"I already told you, I wasn't" he snapped and turned around again. He made his way back to the exit of the park and after a few seconds was joined by Jinyoung again.

"Look Mark, please just talk to me. You know you can right" Jinyoung said softly. He looked at Jinyoung and for a moment had to collect himself to keep from drowning in Jinyoung's eyes and giving in. He hated it when Jinyoung did this, he hated it that Jinyoung knew him so well. It made him feel vulnerable, but most importantly, it made him feel loved. And love was scarry, it only ever ended in him getting hurt.

"There is nothing wrong" he said coldly. Jinyoung's expression hardened.

"Fine" he snapped back, equally as cold.

~

Jinyoung

"Ah, you're back" he heard Jaebum say "Mark arrived a little before you and explained everything, I told you you were overreacting" he said softly. He only rolled his eyes and retreated to his room as the rest of them bustled around getting ready for practice.

He was overreacting. Yeah right. He was sure something was wrong with Mark and it made him furious that Mark wouldn't just talk to him. It made him even angrier that the others wouldn't believe him.

"Jinyoung are you coming" he heard Yugyeom yell.

"Yeah" he answered back before returning to the rest of the group. He quickly shot Mark a glance but he was staring at the floor, face as straight as always. They left for the practice room together.

All throughout practice Jinyoung couldn't keep his head together. He was distracted and slow. He took everything Jaebum snapped at him without saying anything, until...

"Jinyoung really, where is your head today" Jaebum practically yelled during their dance. Immediately after the yell they heard a dull thud and everyone's head turned to the spot where Mark had just been standing. He quickly sat up and looked at them apologetically.

"I slipped" he said with a sheepish grin. Jinyoung seemed to be the only one that looked right through it. Mark was so jumpy Jaebum's yell threw him off so bad he fell.

"Jinyoug take Mark out to ice his ankle" Jaebum said "we'll see you at diner tonight. Rest. The both of you" he said as Mark started to say something. Mark scrambled up from the floor and slightly limped towards the door not even checking if Jinyoung was following him. He stood frozen.

"Jinyoung" Jaebum snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up and everyone was looking at him oddly.

"What happened between you and Mark" Youngjae asked curiously. A wave of hurt crashed through him.

"Nothing" he said softly and followed Mark's footsteps and left the room. He walked back towards the dorm, hands buried deep in his pockets. He was so done with Mark and his behaviour, so done with having to pry him open each and every time. He angrily made his way towards their dorm, completely ready to tell Mark exactly how he felt.

When he came in he found Mark sitting on the couch tending to his ankle. He looked up as he came in but quickly looked away again.

"Mark Yi-en Tuan" he said lowly. Mark's head shot up, eyes widened with fear. He knew exactly what was coming.

"I will not take your bull any longer. I have waited and waited for you to come to me to tell me what on earth is going on, and you do this. You ignore me, get angry at me, make me feel like a horrible person for not being able to help you. Now you're not going to make any excuses. I want you to tell me what's going on."

He said the last sentence in more of a whisper. He hadn't yelled, hadn't gotten angry, he had spoken calmly and hoped that this was the right way to get to Mark and not hurt him any more. At this point, he was desperate to get him to talk because he was scared of what would happen of he wouldn't.

"Why won't you just scream at me, I know you want to" Mark whispered. He saw the tears shining in his eyes.

"No I don't" he answered steadily.

"I made you feel terrible, I shut you out completely, I always do this, why on earth would you still try" Mark answered desperately.

Because I love you

But of course he couldn't say that.

"Because you're my friend Mark, and it hurts me to see you like this" he decided on saying. A tear escaped Mark's eye but he didn't seem to notice it.

"My sister is getting married you know" Mark whispered. His eyes widened.

"Well, that's great isn't it" he said sitting down next to him.

"I can't attend the wedding" he continued.

"Oh" was all he managed to say. He realised Mark must have been extremely lonely lately. All the late nights they were out practicing or doing shows, when he couldn't participate because of his injury. All the missed phone calls of his family he wasn't able to take, everything that happened that he couldn't be there to see. He pulled Mark off the couch and engulfed him in a hug.

He felt Mark slowly lose control and tears seep into the frabic of his shirt. He rubbed his back gently and whispered small comforting words into his ear. After a couple of minutes Mark calmed down and loosened himself from Jinyoung's arms.

"I'm sorry. For everything" he said.

"It's okay" he answered. He knew exactly what he had to do.

~

"Yes, I think we can manage that" his smile widened at these words.

"Do you want to go with him" was the next question.

"No. I think he should do this on his own. And please don't tell him it was my idea" he answered softly.

"Alright, if that's what you think"

"Thanks. Thank you a lot" he said before slipping out if the room.

~

The two weeks were harder on him than he had expected. Even with Mark not around he was constantly worried about him. He constantly doubted if he had really made the right decision. He missed him, a lot.

But it was for the best. He needed it and deserved it and he hoped he had managed to enjoy it.

He had wanted him to come back more and more every day, but now that he was finally waiting for him at the airport he felt nervous. He didn't know what for exactly. Maybe he would be angry. He didn't know it had been his idea initially. Right?

Jinyoung had asked their managers if Mark could go back to America for two weeks to attend his sister's wedding. And he was given permission. But he didn't know what Mark thought of it, had no idea if he had even enjoyed it. He was so afraid that Mark was angry at him for sending him away. He was afraid that Mark would think he had wanted to get rid of him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the voice shouting out his name.

He was violently shaken out of them as a body crashed heavily with his almost making them crash to the floor together. He felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him and a face bury itself in his neck.

"Oh God, I'm so glad you're back" he said before being able to hold himself back. He heard mark chuckle and snuggle his face deeper into his neck.

"Me too" he heard him say.

"But you were happy to see your family right" he asked quickly.

"Yes" Mark admitted "but I'm leaving my family here behind" he answered "and someone who cares so much to go out of his way to get me back home" he said.

He noticed how technically Mark hadn't called him family. It was a little thing.

"How did you know" he asked while slowly detangling himself from Mark to look at him. Mark smiled.

"How couldn't I know, there's only one person that would do that for me and not want me to know they did it" he explained. He grinned broadly too.

"So you're not mad" he asked carefully.

"Yes I am" Mark answered with another smile "I'm mad you didn't come with me"

His smile seemed to be plastered on his face. He was happy to see Mark happy. To be honest, he would do anything to make sure Mark was happy. He loved him too much to be able to take seeing Mark sad or depressed or lonely. And if this was as much as he could do, then so be it. He would have to be content with the way it was.

They went back to their dorm together and were greeted happily by the rest of the members. Jackson had prepared a welcome back diner (probably with the help of Jaebum) and it was one of the best times they had had in months. Everyone noticed how Mark was looking better and how the trip had done him good and it affected all of them in a good way too. They chatted happily and stayed up longer than they had planned to.

When he did eventually retreat to his room Mark followed him. He only noticed him when he closed the door behind him softly. He looked up at him expectantly.

"I never thanked you nor did I apologize for my behaviour" Mark started. He opened his mouth, about to say something, but Mark stopped him.

"No there's no excuse for that. I didn't have to act like a jerk, what I did was selfish and I'm sorry. You're like the only person I know that would still want to have anything to do with me, let alone help me, and I just want to thank you for that" he finished. He froze on the spot, no idea what to answer to that.

"Uh"

Mark took a step towards him.

"There are so many things I still need to tell you" he whispered. He frowned, he thought they'd had everything by now. Mark chuckled.

"Not bad things" he said as he took another step towards him. Mark bit his lip slightly. His eyes widened a little as his heart rate picked up. He was positive he wasn't going to be able to hide his feelings much longer and that was bad. Real bad.

"But I'm definitely afraid to say it" he continued. He took another step. Unconsciously he had started backing away, his back softly hitting the wall.

"Whenever you're ready" he managed to stutter.

He tilted his chin to look him in the eyes. They looked different now, their sparkle was back. He couldn't help but smile. He noticed Mark smile back at him brightly.

"I prefer to let my actions speak" Mark uttered.

And then he grabbed him by the collar of his sweater and crashed their lips together. He stiffened as heat coursed through his body, not certain as to how to react to the kiss. He slowly placed his hands on Mark's hips and eased into it. Mark shuffled closer to him, wrapping his arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms tighter around Mark's waist.

Mark broke the kiss slowly, giving him a last tiny little peck on his lips.

"Thank you, for everything" Mark breathed against his lips.

"Honestly, what took you so long" he smiled. Mark gave him another small peck.

"I don't know"

"Now you'll never have an excuse to not talk to me anymore" his smile got even bigger.

"Whatever" Mark said as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm just happy you're happy, remember that okay" he stated. Mark nodded his head vigorously. He chuckled a little.

"Don't ever think of keeping quiet again"