Blue Skies

He had been busy. No denying it. His mom was getting better each day but taking care of her had taken its toll.

His grades had dropped, Felix was often ignoring him and he hadn't seen Jinyoung outside of school in weeks.

All in all he was exhausted.

He loved his parents, and they weren't avoiding each other anymore, but he was just so tired and the guilt of keeping a secret pressed heavily down on him.

~
Monday

He had texted and called. Nothing strange from a usual day. Only the fact that Jinyoung wouldn't reply. He threw off his jacket. It was getting warmer.

He texted again.

No reply.

Worry slowly crept into his thoughts. He and Jinyoung had been keeping contact as much as they could, it was odd for him to not reply.

He decided to let it go and hopped inside his car. He was probably just busy.

He wasn't really paying attention to the road until he passed a familiar looking bike. He slowed down and pulled up beside the road.

Definitely Jinyoung's.

He parked his car and walked towards the parked bike. He didn't recognize the area. He pushed his hands inside his pockets and walked passed it.

He looked around. He vaguely recognized it here.

The cemetery. He paused.

It was huge. He had no idea where Jinyoung might have gone. He sighed. The chance he'd find Jinyoung was about zero.

He turned back.

"Mark" he heard someone ask behind him. He swiftly turned back around.

Jinyoung looked like he had cried, but he knew better than that. He had fought hard to stop himself from crying though.

"Hey, I saw your bike so I-" he said. Jinyoung nodded and looked at the ground. He took a step forward.

"Everything okay" he asked.

"It's…. been a year today" Jinyoung said factually as he looked up. His voice was steady but tears were pooling in his eyes. His frowned slightly.

He took another step forward and slowly wrapped his arms around Jinyoung's neck. He felt Jinyoung's arms wrap around his waist and he put his hand steadily behind Jinyoung's head.

He felt a few tears stain his shirt.

"Why didn't you tell me, I would've come with you" he said softly.

"I didn't want to bother you" Jinyoung said his voice muffled in his shirt. He sighed.

"Jinyoung how many times-"

"Yeah I know I know" Jinyoung interrupted "I just didn't want to pull you into this"

"Are you okay" he asked.

"Yeah" he sniffled as he released him. He breathed in deeply and nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine"

He pursed his lips and didn't say anything.

"You should go home" Jinyoung said. He sighed and checked the time.

"Yeah, I guess I should. Are you sure you'll get home okay"

Jinyoung looked at him sadly.

"I'll get home just fine." It felt like something was supposed to follow after that but he refrained from saying it.

He just nodded and they walked out of the cemetery together only to go their seperate ways.

~
Wednesday

It was late at night when he rang Jinyoung's doorbell. He hadn't been able to sleep. The look on his face from two days ago was still eating at him. It was probably a stupid idea to show up in the middle of the night.

"Mark, what are you doing here" Jinyoung asked as he let him inside.

The house was quite and loomed massively in the dark. It felt empty, too big.

"I just couldn't sleep" he admitted. Jinyoung nodded and they made their way to his room. He realised Jinyoung had answered the door relatively quickly, which meant he hadn't been sleeping either.

The room was hot and dark. Jinyoung immediately strode across the room towards the balcony doors and slid them open. Cool air swept into the room.

Jinyoung didn't say anything but dissapeared onto the balcony.

He quickly followed and found him already lying on his back staring up at the sky.

"Aren't your parents home" he asked as he sat down next to him.

"No" he said blankly. He looked back at the house, dark and empty, then back at Jinyoung.

He was lonely.

He internally facepalmed. Of course Jinyoung was lonely.

He lay down next to him and stared up at the night sky. It was cold outside. He shivered as the wind blew right through his thin shirt.

"Are you cold" Jinyoung asked.

"I'm fine" he said vaguely. Jinyoung got up and dissapeared inside the room. He came back with a blanket and dropped it right on top of his face. He grumbled a little as he dragged the blanket off his face.

Jinyoung sat back down with his back against the door and stretched out his legs in front of him. He took the liberty to put his head on Jinyoung's lap and draped the blanket over his legs.

After a while he felt Jinyoung's fingers play with his hair.

They stared up at the stars, quiet.

"I missed you" Jinyoung said softly.

"I missed you too"

~
Friday

"Want to go to the cafe" Mark asked as he came up next to him. He looked a little happier every day.

He seemed to be doing well.

"Yes I do" he answered cheekily as he checked his locker for his books.

The same could be said about him.

"Have you seen Jackson anywhere by the way" Mark asked.

"No" he answered simply as they left through the wide open front doors.

It was nice outside. The sun peeked through a thin cover of clouds as they made their way into town. His jacket was loosely draped over his arm. Mark smiled beside him.

"What" he asked.

"I just, it's nothing" Mark said.

"What is it"

"It's stupid"

He raised his eyebrows.

"I just like the sunshine okay" Mark admitted with a grin as they made their way through flocks of people. He smiled.

The cafe was more crowded than usual. They took their usual seat in a corner and ordered their coffee.

"Wow, coffee with milk" Mark noted teasingly.

"Shut up" he said with a small smile.

~

He walked him to the front door. It wasn't dark yet but the air already smelled of a spring evening.

When Mark rang the doorbell his mother appeared to get the door.

"Jinyoung" she said surprised.

"Mrs. Tuan" he said politely "How are you doing"

"Very well, thank you for asking" she said cheerfully "why don't you come in for diner"

"Uh" he hesitated as he looked at Mark. Mark nodded.

"That sounds nice" he said with a smile.

Diner was a whole other experience at Mark's home. The conversations were casual and warm, their smiles honest.

He loved it.

After diner they made their way towards Mark's room.

He was greeted with a few loud meows and a big ball of fur passed his leg. He crouched.

"Felix" he said as he the cat. He had grown.

"You two still get along" Mark noted as he jumped on his bed.

"Mind you, he was mine" he retorted as he stoked the purring cat. Mark smiled.

Suddenly soft music played through the room. He shot a glance at Mark who had his phone in his hands. He shrugged and put on another song.

He joined him on the bed and sighed as he lay down. Felix jumped onto his stomach purring loudly, obviously demanding attention. He chuckled at the cat and scratched him behind his ears.

The song switched and suddenly Mark jumped up. Felix quickly scrambled away in fear. He sat up and found Mark hyperactively dancing through his room while singing along loudly. He chuckled.

"What, it's a good song" Mark said as he looked at him. He didn't stop dancing.

Suddenly a mischievous look passed over his face. He walked up to him and pulled him off the bed.

"No Mark" he whined "I'm not dancing"

"Ah, come on, it's a good song" Mark said, happily twirling him around. He laughed and hesitantly joined in with Mark's dancing. He didn't notice Mark quickly snapping a picture of him laughing.

He couldn't help but think that Mark must be very comfortable around him while he still wasn't comfortable with being himself.

He let the thought slip.

When the song ended they were both laughing and panting at the same time.

Things were good.

~
Saturday

He had decided to stay over. It wasn't something usual for him to stay over at other people's places. But Mark's parents had been so kind and not at all bothered with him staying over.

They were sitting on the couch watching a movie. Mark was leaning his head on his shoulder one hand playing with his sweater. He was getting more and more comfortable with Mark's cuddlyness.

"Hey Jinyoung"

He hummed, not really paying attention.

"Wanna go out tomorrow" Mark asked.

"Out to where" he asked as a sudden nervousness washed over him.

"I don't know, like a theme park or something. Something fun" Mark said.

"Uh, yeah, I guess" anything was good if he could avoid going home alone to a cold and empty house. Still he couldn't help but all of a sudden feel Mark's presence pushing down on him even more.

Were they going out out. Or just out.

~
Sunday

It was a bright day. They were walking towards the train station. Mark still hadn't told him where they were going.

"You haven't told them yet have you" he asked the question that had been bothering him for some reason.

Mark sighed a little.

"I can't just tell my parents I'm gay"

It was the first time he actually heard him say it.

"Especially after everything that happened"

He nodded. He personally had never told his mom, he hadn't been able to after his dad died.

"But let's not talk about heavy stuff today" Mark suddenly said "today's supposed to be fun"

He smiled.

~

"Will you tell me where we're going" he asked as he sank deeper into his chair.

"Nope" Mark said happily, a mischievous grin playing on his face.

He looked around the train. It wasn't that crowded, it was Sunday morning after all.

"We really don't know a lot about each other do we" Mark suddenly said. He was looking at something on his phone, one earbud stuffed in his ear. He raised his eyebrows.

"Like what's your favourite colour"

"Orange" he answered passively.

"No like I mean, I didn't even know" Mark countered with a smile.

"Then what's yours"

Mark sighed with a smile.

"Red" he answered.

He grabbed the one earbud not stuck in Mark's ear and put it in his own. Slow music blasted through it at an abnormally high volume.

"Jesus Mark" he said. Mark chuckled.

He looked at him. His side profile looked sharp. Mark was beautiful in and out and he couldn't help but wonder what he did to deserve him in his life. He slowly grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers.

Mark gave his hand a little squeeze.

~

Exhausted they stumbled back inside the train. It was late at night and dark already. They smelled of cotton candy and milkshakes and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Jinyoung was beaming as well

Jinyoung looked just as exhausted as he did.

They'd had a good day. They'd had fun. Fun without something bad coming up again.

He liked it a lot better this way. He had to admit he had been afraid that it would be different between them if they were together under good circumstances.

He had been right, it was different. But only in every good way possible.

He had draped the huge red plushie Jinyoung had won over his shoulders and was not willing to let go any time soon.

Because it was late at night the train was more crowded with people going home from weekends out. They found a spot to stand and he reached up to hold on to one of the iron railings, only there was no space.

"You can hold on to me" Jinyoung said beside him. Suddenly the butterflies in his stomach swirled up.

He hoped he didn't flush as he grabbed onto Jinyoung's arm.

He grabbed his phone and scrolled through the pictures he had taken of Jinyoung. The one in the cafe, with Felix, recent pictures of him eating cotton candy. He smiled looking at his cute expressions.

"Hey" Jinyoung exclaimed "didn't I tell you to delete those"

He smiled wider.

"So…?" he asked cutely. He saw Jinyoung repressing a smile. Jinyoung huffed in annoyance but he knew he didn't mean it.

~
Monday

They had returned to his house. Mark's parents were busy and Mark said he didn't want to disturb them.

So he was sitting at his desk looking through his chemistry notes. Mark hadn't been studying for a while and just lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling. He felt like there was something on his mind.

"Jinyoung" he whined.

"What" he said absentmindedly.

"When are you going to be done"

"It won't be long" he sighed out.

"Liar" Mark continued to whine. He chuckled.

He heard Mark get up and walk around the room.

"Jinyoung-ah" he whined again.

"Don't call me that" he said, getting more distracted by the minute.

"Jinyoung-ah" Mark said again as he came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

He stiffened. Suddenly his heart sped up.

"What do you want" he managed to say while keeping a steady voice.

"Nothing" Mark said innocently as he put his head on his shoulder. Mark's face was inches away from his and suddenly he couldn't concentrate anymore.

He studied Mark's face. He chuckled a little as he noticed a few freckles dusted across Mark's cheeks. He couldn't control the little blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"What" Mark asked, confused by his chuckle.

"You have freckles" he pointed out. Mark touched his cheek with a finger as if he could feel them.

"Must be because of the weather"

He looked back at his notes. The words seemed to swim in front of his eyes. He scrunched his nose and turned his chair towards Mark. He sighed, demonstratively putting his pen down.

"You're really something else" he said as he leaned his head in his hands. Mark's hand still rested on his shoulders. He smiled brightly and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Let's get ice cream" Mark said happily as he dragged him off the chair. He smiled and quickly followed.

~

They were standing in front of his door again. Mark had to get home soon and they both knew it.

"So, when's our next date" Mark casually asked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. He raised his eyebrows, his heart suddenly pounding in his ears.

"Date" he asked slowly. Mark smiled.

"Hmmm" he nodded.

He smiled and shook his head.

"Bye Mark" he said and quickly moved inside. He collapsed against the closed door smiling like crazy. He rubbed his face holding back an excited scream.

The butterflies in his stomach were going crazy.

~
Tuesday

"Hello friends" Jackson said as he came inbetween them and threw his arms around their shoulders. His gaze fixed on Jackson's hand as it settled on top of Mark's shoulder. His eyes narrowed.

"Jinyoung" Mark asked.

"Huh" he blinked.

"Jackson asked if we had time to go to a party this weekend" Mark explained.

"Ah. Yeah I guess" he said vaguely.

"Nice" Jackson exclaimed.

~
Saturday

"Are you sure we're going the right way" he asked for the third time. Mark was still looking at his phone, his eyes narrowed.

"Yes. I think. Maybe" he said.

"Mark"

"We'll find it, it should be just around this corner" Mark said. He only nodded.

But Mark was right. When they rounded the corner they came in front of a huge house already lit up by tens of lights, loud music blasting through the open windows.

"Who was hosting this party again" he asked.

"A friend of Jackson's" Mark said vaguely.

"Well let's go then" Mark continued, dragging him towards the house.

He lost sight of Mark in no time. How could he possibly not. And seeing as he didn't know anyone at the party all he could really do was grab a drink, sit down and look at the other people going crazy on the dance floor.

~

He sighed and checked his watch again. Had it been three hours or four. He couldn't remember.

Suddenly someone came stumbling his way and heavily dropped himself next to him on the small sofa.

"Jinyoung" Mark slurred "Jinyoung" he giggled out while poking him with a finger.

"Mark, how much did you drink" he asked slowly.

Mark waved his hand around and mumbled something incoherent.

"Right. We're leaving" he stated as he got up.

"No" Mark started whining "I want to stay" the slurring became worse.

"No you don't" he said and started dragging Mark off the sofa.

"I have to say goodbye to-"

"Yeah yeah, we'll tell him when we see him" he said dragging Mark towards the door.

He leaned on him heavily and he barely managed to get him inside a taxi. He was still mumbling some incoherent things on their way home but soon he fell quiet.

~

He had decided it would be smarter for them to return to his home. He didn't want to bother Mark's parents with a drunk son.

He dragged Mark upstairs and dropped him on his bed.

"God you're such a mess" he mumbled as he pulled off his shoes. Mark giggled a little.

"I'll let you sleep here okay" he said clearly. Mark giggled again.

He was about to move away but Mark stopped him with a hand around his waist.

"What?"

Suddenly Mark pulled him down and wrapped his arms around him tightly.

"Don't leave" he mumbled and tightened his arms a little more. He felt his face heat up and he was sure it was not from the alcohol.

He turned around in Mark's arms and looked at him. His eyes were closed.

This punk fell asleep already

He smiled unconsciously.

He slowly reached out and softly traced a finger over Mark's cheek.

He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

~
Sunday

He woke up to a groaning Mark who slapped a hand right onto his face. He blinked a couple of times and threw off Mark's hand before he smiled slightly. Mark was rolling around stretching his body, groaning loudly. He just managed to dodge another flying hand and rolled himself off the bed.

"How much did I drink" Mark grumbled.

"You know, I actually don't know" he said amused.

"Jinyoung, this is not funny" Mark groaned. He chuckled.

"Are you going to keep still" he asked. Mark vaguely nodded, his hands covering his face.

"I'll get you some pain killers" he said and rushed downstairs.

When he got back upstairs Mark had calmed down a little.

"Here" he said while handing him the pills. Mark groaned. He smiled broadly and jumped back on the bed. Mark groaned again but immediately pulled him closer and cuddled up to him. Their noses touched slightly.

"What would I do without you" Mark mused.

"Die probably"

"Aren't we too close" Mark asked suddenly. He shook his head, their noses brushing against each other. Mark smiled brightly. They stayed like that for a while.

"Thank you" he said. There were many things that could follow after that, many things he could say, many things he wanted to say. But a simple thank you felt like enough for now. Mark's smile didn't fade.

"Thank you too" Mark answered simply.

Suddenly Mark shot forward and gave him a little peck on his cheek. He raised his eyebrows as Mark covered his face with his hands. He chuckled.

Mark slowly removed his hands and placed another small peck on his forehead. He smiled slightly, heartbeat pounding in his ears. He was surprised… but he didn't mind at all.

He started moving in again, even slower this time. He waited as Mark came closer. And closer. He unconsciously closed his eyes.

"Jinyoung" his mother's voice sounded through the house.

His eyes shot open and he rolled off the bed as quickly as he could.

"Jinyoung" his mother yelled again.

"I'm upstairs" he yelled back.

"I'm briefly going out again, I'll be back soon" his mother yelled up the stairs. He could hear the door close heavily and sighed out. He rubbed his hands across his face.

He turned back to Mark, scratching his neck. Mark was sitting up straight, his hands folded in his lap. Mark chuckled a little. He shook his head and chuckled as well.

"Breakfast?"

Mark shook his head with a pout and patted the bed.

"What?"

He patted again.

He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm afraid that if I eat I won't be able to keep it down" Mark admitted. He chuckled and strode back to his bed.

"She's going to be back. Maybe you should leave" he said softly, standing in front of Mark, slowly tracing his hands through his hair. It was slightly sticky from last night.

"And take a shower"

Mark chuckled. He wrapped his arms around his waist, resting them on his hips.

"Why" Mark asked. He sighed a little.

"Mark, it's just going to make things uncomfortable" he said.

"What? So I can't meet your mom?"

He sighed again and ran a hand through his own hair.

"I'm sorry" he said softly.

Mark got up and softly pulled him into a hug. His head rested underneath Mark's neck and he huffed out slightly.

"It's okay, I get it"

"Please don't feel bad, it's not about you" he answered.

"It's okay"

"It's really not that I want you gone, I just-"

Mark hugged him a little tighter.

"It's okay, I'll go" Mark said, pulling away slightly "I'll see you this afternoon" he said, and it wasn't a question.

He nodded.

Mark let go of him, quickly planted another peck on his forehead and dashed out the door.

~

From: Mark

Diner?

Was all the text said.

From: Jinyoung

do I have a choice?

~

"That was the best pizza I've ever had" Mark huffed out satisfied.

"You're exaggerating" he said with a smile. Mark shook his head violently.

"Ice cream" Mark asked excited. He laughed and shook his head.

"What? There's no way I'm skipping desert" Mark said.

"Alright alright" he gave in.

~

"The beach?" Mark asked uncertain.

He nodded.

"It's almost dark"

"Yeah that's why. Just come on" he said, grabbing Mark's hand. He could almost feel him smile.

Their hands didn't leave each other as they walked across the beach. It was strange but he didn't feel like letting go.

"I like this" Mark suddenly said quietly. He looked at him sideways.

"You know, us just being us, no issues, no problems"

He chuckled.

"I just like it okay. Leave me alone" Mark said offended, letting go of his hand.

He quickly grabbed it again.

"Don't worry, me too"

He noticed Mark smile.

Suddenly Mark paused, turned to him and looked at him intensely.

"What" he asked.

Mark leaned in slowly. He came closer, their noses touching. His breath hitched. He wasn't going to close his eyes.

Then he stopped. At the last moment he hesitated.

He huffed a little, cupped Mark's face with his hands and pulled him towards him. It was a sweet kiss, their first nonetheless.

"Coward" he said as he pulled away. Mark gave him a look and went in for another kiss.

His hands fell to his sides, uselessly dangling. Mark's arms s around his waist and pulled him closer.

He finally managed to wrap his arms around Mark's neck.

"At least you're my coward" he said as they pulled away.

Mark smiled and he couldn't help but smile back.

~

Their relationship wasn't perfect. It was bumpy, uncertain. There were problems that needed to be solved, boundaries to be stepped. He admits it wasn't something he had expected to ever happen. But it had.

And he couldn't have been more grateful.

 

A/n

Sorry it's a little late