"Were you having a nightmare?” asked Su Ji.

Yoongi had finally managed to calm down, his breathing turning normal again. He nodded, but avoided meeting her eyes. “Yeah… it was a nightmare.”
 

“Tell me about it,” she said softly, her hand closing in around his wrist, offering some kind of support.

“No, why should I-”
 

“Shut up and tell me. I know it isn't some random nightmare, and you need to tell me what it was.”
 

“Why should I tell you?” Yoongi asked, genuinely. “All it will do is make you feel pity for me or something. And I don't want that.”
 

“Because then who else are you going to tell?” she demanded. “Look, I understand you've been alone all your life, but take it from me: things don't hurt as much if you tell someone about it. You let it out, you let someone help carry the burden for you.”
 

“I don't-”
 

“How can I comfort you if I don't know what's bothering you?” she said softly, finally taking his large hand in hers and giving it a small squeeze.

Yoongi bit his bottom lip and stared down at the ground. Su Ji waited for him to say something, but after a long moment of silence, she decided that maybe Yoongi wasn't ready to tell her things. They were mates, but they still didn't know much about each other.

But did that only bother her? Did Yoongi not care that they were still basically strangers to each other?

“My mother was killed in front of me,” he whispered quickly, as though forcing himself to speak. Su Ji's heart sank – Yoongi was talking, but his words made her ache for him.

“I… I was only five years old, but I can still remember it.” Yoongi's eyes squeezed shut and he took a deep breath. “I often have nightmares about it… it happened during the Purge… all the wolves were killed… I still don't know how come I survived, I think I should have just been-”
 

“No,” she said fiercely, gripping his hand tightly. “Don't you dare say you should have been killed too. I'm sure your mother just wanted you to survive… she'd be so happy knowing that you were alive.”
 

“I don't know...” His dark eyes swam in unshed tears, and the sheer vulnerability in them hit her hard.
 

Su Ji placed her hands on both sides of his face, and tilted it upwards, forcing him to meet her eyes.

“I know it,” she said softly. “Yoongi, believe me… she'd have been so happy knowing you were living-”
 

“Not if she knew the way I lived until now,” he cut in. “Many times, I thought dying would have been better… I didn't have anything to live for.”
 

The words hurt her. Sure, she knew she had just appeared, but weren't they mates? Weren't their existences supposed to be better with the other?
 

“I didn't mean it like that,” said Yoongi hurriedly, sensing her unspoken feelings. “I meant, I had nothing to live for until you came along… um, am I not supposed to let you know that, though?”
 

“Know what?” she asked, her heart starting to thump.

“That I find you a reason to live for.”

Butterflies flapped their wings in the pit of her stomach, and she felt weird. Not

a bad kind of weird, though, or a self-satisfied one either. A different, more complicated one she couldn't identify.

Yoongi cleared his throat awkwardly, and looked away. “Um, shall we sleep? It's still night.”
 

“Oh,” she said, slightly thrown off-track. After this kind of talk, he wanted to sleep already?
 

Su Ji was about to get up to go to her room, but Yoongi held her arm.

“Do you have to go?” he asked. “Can't you just… stay here with me?”

“You mean on the floor?” she asked, with a little laugh.

“I bet I'd be a very comfortable pillow,” he said, and phased to his wolf form.

“What, you want me to lie on you?” she asked, slightly skeptical. Su Ji placed her head against the wolf's middle, finding it surprisingly soft. His body was so warm she didn't even need a blanket.

As Su Ji settled down against him, she heard the wolf make a small, satisfied sound in the back of his throat. Yoongi laid his head down between his paws, his body rising and falling gently with the rhythm of his breathing. Su Ji smiled to herself, liking how this felt – how intimate this was, to lie on him after having such a conversation.

****

It was three AM, and once again, Hoseok was awake. It wasn’t because of any unfinished schoolwork though – ever since Aanchal had started tutoring him, he finished them all before midnight.

He just couldn’t sleep. Insomnia had claimed him ever since he turne