Song for the chapter: Champagne Kisses by Jessica Ware

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“Anna…” I closed my eyes bracing myself for what he’ll do but before anything could happen, we heard Jackson getting out of the bathroom and just like what happened in the elevator, we immediately separated. My hand instinctively went to the back of my neck trying to ease the awkwardness. Trying to avoid the situation, I left Mark to meet Jackson half way.

“Mark, I’m good to go. Thanks Anna, so we’ll see you when we get back?” I gave a nod while going for a quick hug. “Yup, you enjoy yourself okay.” I said to him after hugging him. Meanwhile, I can’t tell you what Mark was doing but he then eventually moved towards us. Trying to avoid him, I started walking towards the door to usher them out. I walked with them up to the elevator and waited for it to arrive. Jackson immediately boarded the elevator and I thought Mark will immediately follow but then he stopped and turned to me.

“I’ll see you once we get back.” He said while giving me a kiss on the corner of my lips. I think I stood there staring after them until the doors closed. And that guy had the nerve to just smile as he rode the elevator waving goodbye to me.

“Oh boy, oh boy oh boy oh boy.” I started talking out loud while I shook my head trying to get rid of crazy thoughts and walked back to my apartment still dazed. I leaned at my door thinking, “what the hell just happened?” as I took a big gulp. But just like muscle memory, I freshened up and went to bed. I tried sleeping but I can’t keep my eyes closed. It’s like they have minds of their own and they are not giving me a reprieve. 
 
“Andwae, andwae andwae. It was nothing, that kiss was nothing. It was just a friendly peck, and nothing more. Anna you need to calm down and not look into it too much.” I glanced to the clock on my nightstand and it read 2:46 AM. “Arrgh. Igo bwoya?” I can’t take it anymore, I sat up holding my head gathering my hair and staring at my ceiling. But my mind is going against me as it replayed again and again what happened earlier. That kiss. Kiss. Mark. Me. Kiss. Gulp. “Uwaaaaah, andwae andwae andwae. Otteokaeeeeeeeeeeee.” I exclaimed shaking my head so much while pulling my hair out of frustation. I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning.

I walked inside the hotel still half awake with the strongest coffee I can have on my hand. As usual, staff greeted me. I tried focusing on work but it’s like a broken player, the kiss kept replaying on my mind; how he stopped right in front of me abruptly not giving me enough time to comprehend or at least react to what he was about to do. At how he paused minutely to look at my face before leaning in and giving me that peck. Or at how I imagine that peck with a resounding smack shocking me in silence.

I suddenly stood up and started pacing around my office. And I think I did that for five minutes and nothing happened. I sat back again as I put my hands on my head rubbing my face. This is just crazy. Definitely crazy. Why do I think differently of the kiss when it’s just normal between friends and I’m sure he only intended to give me a peck on my cheek. I must’ve moved or something that’s why it landed on the corner of my lips. Yup, that’s about right. Okay, it was nothing.

I went back on my computer and tried to continue working. Focus. Focus. Focus. I am totally focusing right now. Yup, I am so focused. Deep sigh. “Why can’t you do anything Anna? You’ve been staring at the empty document for 10 minutes. I thought we’ve decided that the kiss was nothing?” I think I’m going crazy now. I hold conversations with myself. 

“Aaaargggh, I can’t take this anymore.” I stood up and grabbed my bag and left my office. I told the front desk that I am taking off for the day and just have Choi bujangnim to contact me if there’s any emergency.

I then went to the place that always calm me. I entered the store and immediately when straight to the Arts section. I picked up a random book and checked the illustrations inside and I felt myself starting to calm down. I continued browsing on the books and finally settled on two books. I paid for the books and headed to a park nearby to browse my books better. “See, this is so much better.” I said out loud as I took in the fresh air. It’s really nice being out today. 

Before, whenever I’m feeling anxious or down, I read art book illustrations. The colors and the stokes have this calming effect on me. How, the decision to use each color adds more to the meaning of the painting and how the artist has deliberately chose that specific color not because it looks nice but because it adds another layer to the beauty of the painting.

I was snapped out of my musing with the ringing of my phone. When I see the caller ID, I took a deep breath before answering. “Eo, Mark.” 

“Listen Anna, we’re about to board the plane now but I’ll see you when I get back okay?  I need to tell you something.” Mark was in a hurry so much that he didn’t even wait for my reply. Sigh. So much for peace and quiet.

Saturday came and as usual, I am talking to my mom on the phone. She was telling me about this broadway show that she and Dad watched the other day. I was only half listening as my mind is still being plagued by someone. Clearing my throat, “mom can I ask y