"Were you why... I had a dream for once...?"

His head could barely register the voice as his brain was still sleepy, eyelids heavy for more sleep even when his ears could hear. His brain barely helped with hearing that voice as he heard the voice but he couldn't connect the voice to a face.

"You look so relaxed like this... were you... worrying about me again?"

Yes.

"... It's useless to worry over me... I'm sure you would rather spend time with your friends instead of me..."

That's not true.

"Are you thinking of something bad? You're frowning..."

Yes, because you don't know that you're my friend too.

"A frown doesn't suit your face... but what do I know. I can barely even look at your face some times. All I've ever seen is your surprised or focused face... I think a smile would suit you better..."

I think a smile would suit you better too.

"... My dream was that I was outside with you and your friends... and it felt like a normal school day... there was a lot of smiling and laughing... I felt at peace for once with such a bright dream..."

I was imagining the same thing too.

"When I woke I realized that that would be a lie though... I-I'm still too scared to do anything like that unless I was constantly desperate... but I'm not... I want to hide away from everything and I know that selfish wish is going to go on for too long... and y-you'll leave me just like them... Why don't we end this now? It would hurt much less if you stop now, r-right...? So w-why do you keep worrying about me, Jun?"

Junhui finally woke up when he felt drops of something warm falling onto his hand at a slow pace, such drops rolling down his hand to damp the mattress beneath it. Only when he was awake did he realize that he took a nap from restless nights from worrying over Jeonghan, thus why his brain was half-awake but his body didn't cooperate due to long needed rest; however, he also realized that those drops were tears when he looks up to tears tumbling down red cheeks from warm brown eyes staring down at him.

Jeonghan's face turned redder than before since he got caught, quickly turning away to shield himself from a judging gaze. The long-haired boy didn't seem to notice that he wasn't staring at him. No, he was staring at the tear drops that left behind trails on his hand.

"... I heard you..." Junhui's tone was solemn as he changes his gaze to the cowering back that faced him.

"S...ry..." his voice was a familiar type of fragile- in fact- it was the same type of fragility that appeared when he found the boy lost in memories hidden in a dark room. He felt his own voice shake slightly as both the memory and the current sight made his chest tighten uncomfortably, "Don't be sorry. I was actually really happy that I got to hear you talk so much."

"R...lly?"

"M-hm. I was really, really happy just seeing your face again too. Your relaxed face while sleeping suits you a lot better, you know?"

"..."

"When you said that you said that I would look better with a smile on my face I thought that you would suit a smile too. Did you hear what I said too when you fell asleep?"

There was small movements of a shake of the head to said 'no'.

"I didn't speak as much as you did, but I asked you why you were crying today... and that I missed you. Obviously, you don't have to answer the first question. I just want you to know that you don't have to cry alone because- well- I'm here too. I don't want to end this because there's still so many things that I want to do with you so that I can see your smiling face. Know that I'm here if you need me and I'd like it if you'd see me as someone who'll be there for you and I'll forgive you as many times as you need me to."

"Th... selfish of m..."

He saw how whose shoulders shook slightly, signalling that he was on the verge of crying out of guilt and fear. Carefully, he worded his enxt words. "Would it make you feel better if I was a bit more selfish too?"

Small movements of the head that said 'yes'.

What could I ask that would be enough to satisfy me but enough to not push him too much? Junhui thought it over multiple times, reminiscing of what he thought and what he said beforehand.

"Then I want to see your entire face... one more time please."

Jeonghan's figure jolted out of shock, making Junhui want to quickly retract his request. That was until he watched out of pure shock how Jeonghan slowly but surely turned around, his face stilll red as he looked down at the boy, his long hair dangling and loosely framing his face. Junhui was so frozen in shock that he didn't fully realize that they met gazes for once and that Jeonghan was now looking at him worriedly.

He felt a small yet warm touch that swiped the corner of his eye, "Please don't cry..."

What made both of them freeze before panic was the realization that the haphephobic boy just reached out to wipe away tears that pricked against Junhui's eye with his thumb. The long-haired boy had pulled back his hand as though he got burnt. Luckily, Junhui reacted quick enough to say, "Don't scratch it, Jeonghan!" and although Jeonghan flinched at his loud voice he stopped, his face pale with horror and eyes becoming glossy again, weakly protesting, "B-But...!"

"Please don't, I know you'll end up bleeding again. J-Just try to hold still," Junhui quickly looked around the room for anything that could possibly helped before his gaze landed on the desk with colorful paper. His mind managed to fit together an idea as he hurried over and grabbed a pen before coming back.

"Hand here," he tapped on the mattress, watching Jeonghan hesitantly but quickly placing his hand with his palm facing up. Junhui carefully made sure to not make skin contact as he wrote what he had planned before he finally made a sigh of relief.

"'Hi'...?" Jeonghan read off, looking less horrified and more-so confused.

"Er- that's what I could only think of," Junhui awkwardly laughed, "I guess it's a new way of messaging from me? Well more like it's a way for me to check tomorrow if you tried to scratch your thumb. Anyways, hopefully this helps in reminding you that you don't have to be so scared anymore because I'm here, okay?"

The long-haired boy nodded, a dazed look on his face as he stared at the ink on his thumb.

Junhui could really only hope that when tomorrow would come, he would still see the word intact.