After A Long Time

 

The talks we had as we looked at each other

The stories that only we knew

I guess I can’t erase them, I can’t throw them away, I can’t forget them

 

I look around these streets for the first time in a while

Whenever I pass this street, the good memories 

They keep floating up in my head so I stop my footsteps

 

After a long time, I am here right now

Because I long for that time, 

Though I tried to live without knowing, I keep thinking about it

That’s how I am, it keeps coming into my eyes

The times we spent together, the memories – they fall like stars

How about you?

 

The people look only happy

It seems like I’m the only one left in loneliness

I try to pretend that I’m not but I keep thinking of you

 

After a long time, I am here right now

Because I long for that time, 

Though I tried to live without knowing, I keep thinking about it

That’s how I am, it keeps coming into my eyes

The times we spent together, the memories – they fall like stars

Tears fall

 

If I wait here, will I be able to see you?

Then will I be able to tell you how I feel right now?

 

Because I miss you, because I am missing you

That’s how I am, I only know you

Living without you makes me filled with regret about everything

Because you’re not here, because there are so many empty things

Again today, I long for that spot and my footsteps won’t move and I call out to you

 

 

 

After years of that fateful separation, Sooyoung found herself walking back to the spot that she had been avoiding for so long once again. Where they bade their last farewells, turned around, and finally walked in two different directions. 

 

Her heart ached as she recalled the incident. Hankyung, a man from China, a man who had the guts and the dreams to come to Korea with just a single backpack of clothes. He had a vibrant heart which bested to the rhythm of music, and a pair of eyes that shone with the notes hovering in the air. They met as trainees, when they had to share one practise room for the selections the next day. She remembered his face only too clearly. Though drenched in perspiration, the fierce determination that glowered from his face was simply unforgettable. 

 

And she knew that to achieve the same results, she had to work as hard, or even harder. 

 

Sooyoung smiled at the memory. After so long, even after SNSD had debuted for so many years and had splitted for so many years, he still remained so vividly in her memories. 

 

Hence they became more familiar with each other. She loved to eat, he loved to cook. Soon, it became a cycle. He would cook for her regularly, and sphis dishes became her favourite food. Neither of them admitted it, but chemistry and love was brewing in the atmosphere. The smiles on their faces were too genuine to be deemed as fake, and the thumping of their hearts were the best way of communication between the duo. 

 

She didn't want to be a hindrance to him. As Hankyung once said, "I will do anything to achieve my dreams", she knew that dreams were his priority. And she never asked for more from him. Daily conversations, secret smiles and buzzing hearts were enough, at least for her. She never wanted much, but it was Hankyung who took the first step. One day, he ran all the way to their dorm in a heavy rainstorm, just to check if she was alright. She once told him that she had a phobia of lightning and thunder, hence, he got worried and ran all the way to check on her. Looking at the rainwater dripping from him hair and clothes, Sooyoung's eyes wettened and the two pulled each other into a warm, long embrace admits the cheers of the other 8 girls. 

 

"I cannot not love you," he whispered, and she nodded in happiness. Life was perfect the way it was. 

 

However, good things can never last long. One day, she heard from s that he had terminated his contract with the company and was going back to China to pursue his dreams. She was stunned. "So I'm the last to know..." 

 

Forcing out a bitter smile, Sooyoung let the tears flow relentlessly down her cheeks. Love, had he ever loved her in the first place? No, she was just a stepping stone! A stepping stone for him to chase his dreams! And she cover and sobbed, right into the silence of the dark night. 

 

Days passed and there was not even a single text from him. Sooyoung did not wallow in despair. Their love came with such swiftness, and left with such silence. There was nothing that she could say or do. It might be the best for the both of them. 

 

It was only on the day before Hankyung left did she finally got to see him. He still had his backpack of clothes with him, but his whole vibe and aura was different. Instead of the passionate man he used to be, he was now lethargic and drained, with a tinge of bitterness. Sooyoung frowned. Was he the man that had gotten her so hypnotised before? 

 

Hankyung pulled her into his arms once again and inhaled deeply. Tears were forming in his eyes but he managed to keep them in control. 

 

"I'm sorry. You are the last person I ever wanted to leave." 

 

He felt something warm drop on his back, and that was the trigger. Grasping her hand tightly, their lips crashed together and they shared a salty kiss, their tears mixing together on their faces. 

 

"I cannot not love you, Soo. But I have to go. I can't provide you with what you want. Find someone better than me." He managed to croak out, 

 

Sooyoung nodded her head. Under the street lamp, her sorrow was easily visible. Pulling her into his arms for the last time, they shared a last hug and walked off in opposite directions. 

 

It was the end, but a beginning of something new. 

 

Sooyoung learned that Hankyung became so popular in china that he got onto the most prestigious televisions shows. Hankyung also learned that Sooyoung became one of korea's top models and entertainers. Their lives were no longer linked together, but a part of them was still joined and inseparable. 

 

And as the memories flood her mind, Sooyoung could not help but to whimper at the aching in her heart. Squatting down beside the street lamp, she sobbed here heart out. 

 

Until a familiar pair of shoes came in sight. 

 

Guess it will all be the same, just that everything is different now.