Paris, the city of love.

But without my wife, it's just another city. Haerin and I have been wanting to go to Europe, most especially France and see the Eiffel Tower together, but instead I'm here with the last person I'd want to be with. Lee Byul and I are in Paris for the Yellow Stone project. I couldn't believe I let my wife talk me into doing this. Yes, I dread to work with Byul and more so too far from my wife and son. Yes, son. I just know it's a boy. I have to stay here for a week and it had only been two days but I already badly miss my family. It's almost death to be far from them. All I am is constantly worried of my Haerin and our baby. Jaejoong hyung had promised to look after her and I know he'd do just about anything to make sure they're safe, but I still couldn't help but feel uneasy.

"President Oh, what do you think?" Taemin interrupted my reverie and had successfully pulled me back to work. I looked at the screen to review the previous shot but it wasn't as striking as I'd wanted it to be. When Haerin directed the last project with Yellow Stone under Two Moons, it made Mr. Zhang himself wish we could use every shot. But today, Lee Byul's videographer and photographer wasn't doing that for me. If I wasn't impressed, Mr. Zhang wouldn't be, too.

"It looks fake as , do you expect people to believe this?" It had been a while since I'd been sharp on a project. Somehow, it felt good to curse. I was displeased by the outcome and really bothered by the distance between my wife and I. I had a feeling I'd be cursing a lot today. A glare had set Taemin running back to the crew to instruct them. Seeing him work brought back memories of when Jongin used to work on projects like this with me.

I haven't heard from him ever since he brought my wife to the hospital that day. When he gave his notice about his indefinite leave, I wasn't in the office to receive it personally. He hasn't left a message or called, either. This was very typical of Jongin. He knew how to disappear but as his best friend and worst enemy, I know he'd be one to show up again. But maybe this time, it will take long. After all, his reasons now are far from the reason he used to hide. I just hope he's okay wherever he is. Jongin dealt with pain differently. If I dealt with mine by drowning myself with work, Jongin did the opposite. He didn't work whenever he was emotionally not doing fine. I understood why. He used to be such a wreck and I'd been the only person who had seen those nights his fire died. From then on, I respected his decision whenever he wanted to be distant. Jongin didn't want to be near anyone if his fire was out. Because whenever it was out, it meant he wasn't himself.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Her voice was more than enough to break off from my thoughts. Byul sat on the chair next to me but I didn't give her a look nor did I want to.

"The videographer and photographer you hired are . The shoot is suffering," I kept my eyes on the screen where the current shots are placed. I looked over the screen to witness the shoot happening across the set, "Make it believable and improve the angle!" I instructed.

"Yes, President Oh." They all replied as the crew scurried to help improve the shot.

"Ah, Oh Sehun. Have I told you how hot you sound when you're bossy?" I winced at her sentiments. Byul sure knows how to make me cringe. She s an arm around mine but I pull away, not wanting her to touch me. She chuckled, "Wow. Marriage did change you. A friend can't hold you now?"

"You're not a friend. You're someone I work with and I hope you keep things professional,"

She scoffed and chuckled, "Just like old times?" I cocked a brow and gave her a look, "When we used to be playful, you'd always tell me to keep things professional and don't make it obvious we were sleeping with each other,"

"Byul." I sternly called.

"Are you perhaps regretting the things we did? What we were in New York?" Her eyes pierced through mine. I had seen those pained eyes before and it made me recognize the woman I was with. A fragile Byul had always been the Byul I knew.

"Regretting isn't my thing. Whatever happened, it happened because I let it happen and at the time, I wanted it to happen. But with the way you're acting now, you're making me regret them even though we didn't do anything wrong," The Byul I knew hated my honest tongue but I never spared her from the truth. At the time we were together, she even knew I had left someone in Korea. Byul and I were close, I considered her a real friend. She was genuinely there for me as I had been for her and it could've been something, but there was something missing in our past relationship. We weren't in love.

"Then why are you acting like this?" Her small voice asked.

I let out a breath and looked down briefly before looking back at her, "Because I don't want to hurt Haerin. I don't know if you'll understand me, but that's all my reason for avoiding you. I'm aware of our past and what we were, I know what we did together and how long we've done them but things are different now,"

"I don't know how you can hurt your wife when you're practically breathing on the other side of the world,"

"Oblivion," I said as she cocked a brow, "The fact that she's oblivious about the past, that's me hurting her. She's probably sleeping right now, thinking her husband wouldn't hide anything, but the truth is I've hid things from her. Especially New York."

"Sehun,"

"She didn't need to know the wreck that I was. I don't want to stain the way she looks at me,"

I was a different man in New York. I handled longing for Haerin differently. A lot of nights I relied on alcohol to make me numb, to stop me from coming to her because I knew I had to wait for her to be ready for me. Her reason for breaking up with me wasn't something I understood immediately although I pretended I did because I didn't want her to feel like she had wronged me. I wasn't the same man I was when she was around. Everyone in the office were terrified of me. I was cold and heartless. I was unhappy and I was missing her badly. I tried to open up my heart, but the only thing I ended up opening was a hotel room with another woman. It wasn't like me. It wasn't the Sehun my Haerin knew. I had used other people to fill up that emptiness but none of them could ever really do so. She didn't know me as someone who slept around, yet there I was, changing girls like they were clothes. That was a phase I never wished to remember. I was disgusted with myself. The man I was without Haerin was the man I never want to become again.