Cho Kyuhyun is frustrated, in the past fifteen minutes he’s doing anything he could to bring her back into consciousness and yet Seulri still closes her eyes not responding to any kind of impulse he’s giving her. He pulls himself away from the side of her bed to check the preparation of her emergency procedure. The doctors wheel in the separator curtain that’s usually being used for a C-section in order to safe their patient from the horror of seeing their abdomen being cut open while they’re only being locally sedated.

Seuri is still unconscious so the curtain hasn’t really done its purpose, but better be safe, just in case she suddenly awakens. Kyuhyun takes a peek to the operation progress behind the curtain, her abdomen is covered in betadine and special plastic wrap before a green fabric place on top of it to start their surgery.

“Start her on processors.” The head surgeon begins the operation, “Scapel!” He utters his command and the nurse beside him give the little operation knife he needs.

With one he managed to cut open her abdomen and in no time. The amount of blood clot that spills from the cut is more than he expected and anyone in the O.R knows that she’s experiencing a bad bleeding in her internal organs.

“Oh God, Seulri-ya.” He mumbles in between his frantic shock. No matter how many operation he’s been to in his life, watching the closest person he knows being cut open will never be easy. “What happened to you in that road? How could it be this bad?”

“She’s got a grade-2 splenic lac. let’s leave it for now, she won’t be affected much by it the bruise will heal itself. Make sure to check the rethrohepatic space.” The head surgeon informs the doctors next to Kyuhyun.

She digs her hand into Seulri abdomen to check for the space between her right kidney and liver, “Positive for bleeding, doctor.”

“We’ll focus on that for now, remove the clotting, give me the French tube again.” He lifts his hand waiting for the nurse to handle him the next device he asks.

“Suction.” The female doctor follows the lead and begin vacuuming the blood around the cavity that aren’t supposed to be there.

Kyuhyun stood still in his place, not being able to imagine the kind of pain Seulri is experiencing at the moment. He takes his gaze away from her bloody abdomen towards the serene face she has whenever she falls asleep.

She’s closing her eyes peacefully, as if nothing weird is going on from the big cut on her belly. Under the bright light of the O.R, Kyuhyun’s eyes begins to notice the lines of her dried tears on her face, her eye-liner must have been washed down from the tears and what pain him more is the fact the lines are going down towards her cheek and not to the side of her face. It only means that she’s crying while she’s still driving. She cried so hard to the point she didn’t notice the danger that awaits her and she cried because of him.

He bites his lips to suppress the pain, thinking that he can channel his heartache into something else. What has he done to her? She wanted nothing but to be saved by him, she didn’t even ask for him to change his plan, she only asked to be forgiven. His quick sharp tongue beat him tonight, instead of being the strength she needed him to be, he chose to punch her more to add more pain into her already crumbled life. Now she’s just closes her eyes helplessly, with the peaceful expression as if she’s having a better vision inside her dream, as if she’s ready to leave all her problems behind her.

He swallows the lump he feels in his throat, her voice from few hours ago was still clear in his head, “Oppa, I just need you to forgive me. I know you won’t take me back, I know I worth nothing in your eyes and I don’t dare to ask that favor. But can’t you at least forgive me, for going far astray from the dream we used to have for each other?”

He lowers himself closer to her one more time, whispering in her ears the words he should have said tonight, “I forgive you and you’re worth everything to me Seulri-ya, that’s why I’m so mad at you. Just because I stopped saying it, doesn’t mean I stop loving you. So please, let me apologize properly, open your eyes Seulri-ya.”

*

It was the day he’s been waiting for in the past twenty months, he’s released from his duty to his country and he couldn’t feel more disappointed when he didn’t see his girlfriend in front of the gate the way she promised him.

Not long after his birthday, he got his letter of enlistment from the army. Just like any South Korean men, he has to obey the call and soon as his second semester finished he packed up his things and do his job for the country. It’s never easy for close family members to say goodbye to their son who’s leaving them for almost two years. They know the day-off won’t matter much as long as he still need to serve for the country and of course it’s also hard for the girlfriends.

Seulri cried when she read his letter of enlistment, she voiced her protest to him and demanded it must have been such an error from the government because Kyuhyun still has so many years ahead of him before he should be enlisted, yet obviously this call-letter was not something for him to rebel to. They both negotiate on how to keep communication to each other without the luxury of phone and technologies, Seulri suggested she could visit him once a month but Kyuhyun refused the idea. He was stationed too far away from the capital and he doesn’t want her to suffer the long ride just to see him for a good half-an-hour. Kyuhyun also tried to cheer her up, said that he’ll get some days off and he could go visit her whenever he granted the day off, but he’s not kidding anyone, they both know the enlistment is the new task for their relationship.

Their method worked out for about a year. No matter how hard the long distance for them, Seulri and Kyuhyun figured out a way to stay faithful and close to each other. Along the time, she learned to stop depending on him too much whenever the problem at home raises and as for him, he learned to let her be more independent and trusted her more with her decisions. With their distance apart, they both still thanked heaven for being able to spent their Christmas together, her birthday, his next birthday, and without them being dramatic about the separation, his enlistment just went by quickly.

She once promised him that she’ll pick hi