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She’s in between of her consciousness again now, some little pinches on her upper right arm feels a little bit painful for her but she can’t do anything to tell the pain to go away. If she can tell the doctor, she’d say that all of her body aching from extreme pain, her head never felt this dizzy in her whole life, her eyes feel so heavy no matter how much effort she tries to open them up, her lungs feel like they’re burning and she believe she broke some bones of her ribs also for the exaggerating pain that now slowly comes to her.

The sound and the voices of her surrounding comes and goes and it makes her thinking if she’s already dead or not. If she could have a last wish right now, Seulri just want to have a personal time with him. She wants to curl herself in his embrace, breathing the scent of him, having him patting her back and telling her that everything will be fine.

Is that still possible? After his final words that he shouted to her from the top of his lungs, after that vigorous fight, and after he gave up on her altogether.

She never blamed him for the way he treated her, she was the one that cut the ties with him without a word, she was the one that broke so many promises they had for each other, she was the one that dragged herself into this mess, and she was also the one that shamelessly begged him for a mercy.

Seulri can hear his voice calling from her side, begging her to open her eyes, telling her to keep fighting and avoid the bright light, she even vaguely hears he said he’ll fix what’s broken between them. Is she dreaming? Because she loves the prospect of her dream.

She likes to imagine them to be together again, holding each other’s hand, forgetting the fatal mistake she’s done throughout her life. She imagines her life would finally be wonderful if he returns to her, if he allows them to pick their broken vow and mend it together. Seulri tempted to the idea of him taking her hand down the aisle to build a family with her like the picture of their future when they were still clueless.

Tears piles in the corner of her eyes and she can fell the warmness traces down to the side of her face. Would she have it all if she didn’t turn her back away from him? would he looks at her with the same caring eyes if she hadn’t gone astray?

Would she fight harder to open her eyes now if she knows he’d be lost without her.

The thing is, Seulri knows he’s staying here out of guilt, he’s fighting with her now to show support as the only one left that she can call a family, she knows her dying won’t mean much to him in the next few month and even if she lost her battle now, he won’t mourn that long over her—because he said so himself, that Kang Seulri is already dead for him.

While she’s trying to open her eyes, flashes of another memory comes into her. This is not the memory she fond of, but it’s definitely a memory that changed her.

*

She felt shiver though her body from the cold water that kept on showering her, she had no idea how long she’s been in there sitting on Taecyeon’s cold bathroom floor, hugging her knees while her eyes stared blankly into the grey stone that covers the interior. The sound of the water running was too loud in her ear and she couldn’t hear knocking on the door, she only startled once she saw Taecyeon squatted in front of her, already put on his clothes back on him while she’s still there, and afraid of what’s going to happen to her next.

Taecyeon took one look into her, got up and turned the faucet to stop the cold water running on top of Seulri’s body, took her hand with him and force her to stand up. He took a robe towel from the drawer and wrapped it around her body before he gently tied the ties in front of her then took another towel to place on her drenched hair. Slowly he led her to walk outside of the bathroom and let her sit on his bed.

They didn’t say anything and Seulri’s face that time looked like a broken porcelain doll, she just sat still and let him do whatever he wanted to her while her eyes just stared into space with tears still flowing endlessly from them.

He approached her again with a hair dryer in his hand then he began drying her up, slowly took a portion of her hair one after another until he believed she was no longer felt the cold.

“I’m sorry.” He finally said something.

Taecyeon kneeled in front of Seulri, cupped her face with his hand to try to get her focus. Seulri avoided his gaze but another tear fell from her eyes.

“No, I’m sorry. You paid a lot for this, I shouldn’t just run to the shower like that.” Her voice was still sore from the crying.

“You’re scared aren’t you? Please don’t tell me that it was your first time.” His face was full of concern.

She shook her head, “It’s the first time I did it for money.” Her voice cracked upon the disgusting thought and the she suddenly felt so stuffy so she began to gasp for air.

He got up and sat next to her, immediately pulled her towards him to embrace her in his arm. He didn’t know what to do to calm someone in shock like this and he’s afraid that one wrong word could make what already bad to become worse.

Seulri just leaned helplessly on his shoulder, kept on mumbling her apologies while her eyes kept on flowing with tears. She’s tired, she’s tired living the kind of cursed life she lived, tired of the continuous disgrace, tired of crying her eyes out every single day after she’s done working.

“V, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” He finally asked.

She snorted her nose, lifted her head from his shoulder and used the arm of her robe to wipe her tears. “Please don’t tell my boss about this, I need this job so much. I’ll make it up to you somehow but please don’t let him fire me because of it.”

His heart suddenly felt like its clenched on its own for a reason he didn’t understand. This girl just threw away her dignity for a job they both knew she hates but then she begged him not to complain to her boss because she didn’t want to get fired.

“How ha