You're not my mate…

The worst part about break-ups, Lily had found, was the unexpected flashbacks. After the all-consuming emptiness and general sense of falling apart, that is. The flashbacks were unpredictable, which made it harder to be prepared and each one cut deeper than the one before it. She'd let herself fall into this false sense of getting over it, of moving on and then, bam!  

The smallest things seemed to trigger them; stupid, foolish things that shouldn't have any meaning but they did. And it hurt but she'd learned, a long time ago, not to let emotions interfere with her life. So, after taking a few more breaths to settle the pain in her heart – stupid pathetic heart, still pining for something that wasn't meant to be hers, ever – she resumed her packing. 

It was a good thing she was going away today. Any day would've been good but today was especially so because she'd caught her last glimpse of the man responsible for her current state and that, in her mind, was enough to constitute a farewell, give her that sense of closure. 

Bumping into him had been entirely accidental. 

And painful. 

But at least now, she won't have that niggling sense of regret that she hadn’t said goodbye. 

He'd looked worse than when they'd parted ways, the night after Suho and Angel's wedding and it had broken her heart because even now, she didn't want him to hurt. 

The confrontation – if it could be called that – hadn't been exactly surprising. She had sensed something was up with him ever since he'd woken up but she'd ignored it because she'd been too happy that he was still alive. Seeing his guts spilling around hadn't exactly done anything for her heart which had already been filled with worry for his safety. 

She mightn't have been as bat crazy as Mei or Angel perhaps – and maybe that should've raised a red flag – but she'd been worried sick. And too grateful that he was alive to think overmuch about the stiffness of his arms around her, his reluctance to hug her back. 

In fact, the only thing that had bothered her was the physical distance he'd put in between them. Xiumin was quite… carnal about his affections, words playing very little part in their relationship. But in the days following their battle with Evil, he hadn’t even kissed her. Not once and she'd felt a little weird after the first time she had initiated the kiss and he hadn't even opened his mouth, stiffly waiting for her to end it, so she hadn't tried it again either. 

She'd been hurt, of course she'd been hurt. But she'd figured he needed time to come to terms with whatever nightmare he'd faced inside that maze – the Legends were very close-mouthed about the horrors they'd seen – so she hadn't pushed it. 

And then, the night before Angel and Suho's wedding, he'd told her curtly, 'We need to talk.' 

The sound of her suitcase falling jolted her out of her musings and Lily stared uncomprehendingly at the mess on the floor, the last dress she'd picked still clutched in her hands. 

Who was she fooling? She was is no condition to pack, not after running into him like that.

Raking a hand through her hair, she dropped to her knees and half-heartedly picked the stuff that had fallen down before giving up on it and leaning her back against the foot of her bed, the small apartment seeming stupidly huge now that she was single. A sigh escaped her lips as she leaned her head back, staring at the chipped ceiling, a few tears slipping out despite her vow to not cry.  
 

You have a family you need take care of… staying with me will only make things difficult. This… this is just the start. I can't let anything like this happen ever again…

It wasn't like Lily didn't understand where he was coming from – it made perfect sense. He put her and her family in danger but…
 

I'm your mate. She'd said it so confidently, sure that they were it, foolishly believing in a fairy tale ending that never happened in real life. Not to people like her.

The ceiling blurred, seeming to swim before she gave up any pretense of control and let out the sob she'd been trying to silence. And once started, it was like a dam had burst loose, tears flowing out uncontrollably as she tried to hold herself together. It was a good thing she was alone in here because she needed this, needed to let this out if she ever hoped to get past it.  

No, you aren't. Lily hadn't expected her heart to break like that but his statement, said calmly without any emotional infliction, had made it feel like someone had yanked it out of her chest and crushed it underneath their feet. She'd stared at him in disbelief, her ears beginning to ring. Come again? 

You're not my mate. He'd looked her straight in the eye and she'd felt frozen to her core at the sheer aloofness, the coldness radiating off of him. I never made the claim… and in the light of recent events, I think it’s a good thing. 

He'd said it all so calmly, so easily… as if she'd never meant anything. He'd never made the claim… why? Because she wasn't, in fact, his mate; because she was just someone he was toying with until the real one showed up? Was that what he meant? 

Or had he deliberately held himself from getting emotionally involved…? Unlike her then, because she'd thrown all caution to the winds for him. 

She'd met his eyes then, so emotionless, so decided. That was it then, wasn't it? She wasn't one to force herself where she was obviously not wanted. She'd said goodbye, rationally and practically, pragmatic as ever – no fuss at all. And if her heart still hurt… well, she was being silly, wasn't she?

She'd asked for enough time to make arrangements for her family because… even if they did break up, Evil wasn't going to leave her be. And all her anguish would be in vain if he could target them. So, she was doing the smart thing and removing herself far away from her family and… him, so he could rest easy and concentrate on fighting that bastard off. 

None of which did anything to prepare her for the accidental run-in that was bound to happen sooner rather than later. It had been, in a way, unavoidable because after all, he owned the shop. Though, he'd been considerate enough not to show up while she made arrangements to keep The Black Pearl running – she'd put in too much effort to just let it slide into ruin and there was no way she was going to keep using the people Baekhyun had acquired. 

Hiring a new manager, one who came up to her standards, was hard but she'd managed to find the perfect person for the job and really, there'd been no reason for her to keep showing up. Maybe she'd been unconsciously waiting for it, waiting to see him one last time before she departed.

And now, it had happened and she didn't know what to do with all the pain that was seemingly flooding out of nowhere. They'd just stared at each other, silence hanging heavy between them as she drank in his features, fingers itching with the desire to trace them. The manager had come out then, calling cheerily to hand her stuff over to her and that had broken the spell, bringing her back to reality with a harsh jolt. 

She'd smiled her way out and the slight brush of his shoulder against hers had left her tingling, wishing for something more intimate, something she could never have. How she'd managed to hold herself together this long, she didn’t know but she gave up trying, burying her face between her hands and crying her heart out.  

She didn't hear the door slide open – she didn't even remember if she'd locked it or not, she'd been so out of it – but the warm pair of arms wrapping around her had her sitting up in surprise. A warm pair of eyes smiled up at her, hand patting her hair soothingly. 

'He's an idiot for letting you go,' Rose told her seriously, messy curls falling into her eyes. 

Lily smiled despite herself, drying her eyes. 'What're you doing here?' She asked, clearing so she wouldn’t sound so nasal. 

'Well, couldn't let you leave by yourself, now could I?' Her brother's voice floated inside before he entered, filling the empty spaces of her apartment wonderfully. She smiled up at him, grateful even though he was scowling so fearsomely. He took in her visage and the mess on the floor. 

'Don't waste your tears on that jerk.' He told her gruffly, bending low to pick her stuff up. 'He's not worth it.' 

Lily disagreed but wisely kept quiet. 'Yeah, don't cry.' Rose nodded, hair bouncing with the movement. Lily nodded, sighing a little and leaning into Rose's hug, smiling softly when she felt her lips flutter over her forehead. 

Her brother, meanwhile, was stalking around her apartment, presumably looking for things she might've left unpacked. Wasting his time, really, because Lily wasn't one to leave these kinds of things for the last minute. He eventually came back in her bedroom, sighing like a bellow and dropping beside her. 

'You sure you don't want me to beat him up?' 

Lily laughed despite herself. 'No, I value you too much.'

'Ha!' He was offended, 'As if! I'd break that little squirt in two with my bare arms and…'

'Thanks but no. You have a wife and children to think about.' Lily teased. 

'Okay… but I can get him beaten up, right?' He looked ridiculously hopeful, making her smile again. 'I think we decided the 'Voodoo' guys are a bad idea.' 

'It's VIXX, okay? And they're good at what they do so it won't be a problem. You just have to say the word and…'

'No. and that's final!' She glared at her brother, 'okay?'

Beside her, Rose gestured at her brother, running the tip of her thumb surreptitiously across her neck, making him smile in approval. 

'Fine…' he sighed, making Lily eye him suspiciously. 

'What?' she glanced between her siblings, both of whom were looking suddenly too innocent, 'What?'

'What?' Rose asked, shrugging her shoulders. 'We didn't say anything.'

'I mean it, you're not getting involved in this.' She gave her best older-sister glare, even though her brother was technically older. What was the point of going through all this if her family still remained in danger? 

'Is he mafia or something?' While they'd been arguing, they'd managed to put her stuff in the suitcase and now, her brother hefted it over his shoulder. Lily shook her head. She wished it was that simple. 'Just… stay away, okay? Promise me.' 

He nodded but Rose merely pursed her lips and rushed ahead. No way was she agreeing to something like that, not until she landed one punch – at least one – on this Xiumin guy for making her sister cry like this. She'd also give him a piece of her mind and make him regret the day he'd decided that Lily wasn't worth it. 

See if she didn't.
…………………………………..

Xiumin hid himself in the shadows, making sure he wasn't visible before leaning his head back against the wall and letting out a sigh.

She was leaving now and he knew he shouldn't be here, she didn't matter anymore but seeing her again had lit a fire inside of him, an uncontrollable urge to rush and stop her from vanishing like this. 

He didn't know where she was going, she hadn't told anyone, and this could very well be the last time he was seeing her and his heart was driving him insane, pushing him to do foolish stuff. Like beg her to forgive him, forget his words and take him back. 

Hearing her cry like that hadn't made it easier either. 

He knew he shouldn't have followed her but he had – just like he shouldn't be here but he was anyway. He'd reasoned that he wanted to make sure she got home safely because she'd looked upset – and whose fault is that? Hmm? – and he'd sworn he would only watch her home. 

But she'd slipped inside the building and he'd followed her upstairs and then, stood fidgeting by the door she'd forgotten to lock, resisting the urge to barge in and reclaim her, to hell with reason. 

The soft sob floating outside had torn him apart. She didn't cry easily, the stranglehold on her emotions making her seem almost cold, until you looked past that strict exterior to the warm heart inside her. Sort of like him, except he was broken and couldn't even claim her as his mate when there was nothing he wanted more. 

He'd leaned his head on the door and heard her cry, felt his heart shatter all over again, the pieces he'd managed to sew back together falling apart. He'd done the right thing, the rational thing because why keep dragging her into a war, put her unnecessarily in danger when he wasn't even her mate? He was selfish, yes, but for her, he'd put that selfishness away. 

So why did it feel so wrong? Why did it feel like he was making a mistake? Why did it hurt? So much so that he almost wished he was back in that maze and fighting off those illusions of his sister. He'd woken up from that ordeal, perfectly healed and only one thing on his mind – protect Lily. 

They'd barely managed to save the mates this time – they all knew it was a miracle they'd survived, no matter how lighthearted Baekhyun tried to make it – and he'd decided he wouldn’t do this to her anymore. Mei and Tiffany and Angel were bound to their mates but he could do for Lily what none of the rest could – he could set her free because they weren't bound in the first place. 

And so, he'd done it. 

And regretted every moment since because it was horrible without her. His nightmares were back with a vengeance but he couldn't even be bothered to try and fight them, resigning himself to the pain because it was just as painful when he was awake.

All these thoughts had crossed his mind while he stood there, hearing her soft sobs filtering through the door and he'd lifted his hand to open the door, decided to throw all reason away and just hold her, when her siblings had shown up. 

He'd hidden himself immediately and seen them leave, felt something inside die at the sight of the empty apartment, devoid of everything that could remind him of her presence, the walls bare and empty as his heart.

He shouldn't have followed her after that, should've just let her leave and save himself the heartache but he was in pain anyway, what did a little more matter? 

She was smiling as she looked up at her brother and how he wished he was the one she was smiling at, that he was the one holding her hand and telling her to just stay and stop trying to be so foolishly independent all the time.

She turned her head to look at her sister and for a moment, her eyes landed on him, hidden in the shadows. He stilled, holding his breath as their eyes met. She forgot what she was saying, words trailing off as they held gazes. He moved so she could see him – why, he had no idea. It was useless, wasn't like he could stop her or had any right to even try but he did, stepping out of the shadows. 

There was a gasp but he paid it no mind, eyes for no one but her. 

The punch on his jaw was unexpected. 

'You dare to show up like this?' Her brother snarled, pulling his arm back to land another one, a wrist locking around his collar to keep him in place. 

'Leo, no!' Lily cried, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to pull him back, 'Please don't!' 

Leo didn't look like he'd back off – not that Xiumin cared, he'd have to hit harder than this to get his attention when she was in front of him – but there was sudden flurry of movements, someone collided with Leo and pushed him back, curls bouncing. 

'Rose?' Leo sounded confused, wondering why she'd switched sides when she'd been adamant on landing a few punches herself. 

'Don't hurt Choomin!'

Xiumin stumbled as if a punch had landed in his gut, eyes widening in shock as they landed on the girl in front of him, her eyes flashing red as she snarled. 

Surely he was mistaken… 

'Rose?' Lily spoke, stepping in front of her sister, worry lacing her voice, 'Baby?' 

Rose blinked confusedly, eyes warm brown. 'Lily?' 

'I'm here,' she told her gently, lifting a hand to push her curls out of her eyes. Xiumin felt a little strange at those words, spoken in the same tone, directed at someone other than him but he pushed it back, a little more curious about the girl in front of them. 

She looked ready to burst into tears. 'My head…' she muttered, closing her eyes, 'hurts.' 

Lily pulled her into a hug and Leo wrapped his arms protectively around the girls, glowering at Xiumin until he left, heart heavy in his chest. 

………………………………. 

A/N

helllooooooooooo~~~ 

so, what did you guys think? LEO is Lilly's brother haha :D how's that for a surprise? no but seriously, bet you didn't see that coming, lol XD I couldn't resist putting my biases against each other :3 but that wasn't the biggest surprise was it? did she really say 'choomin' or is Xiumin going crazy? and if she did say it, what does that make her? Care for any guesses? ooh, I'm excited :D

oh wel... I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter - it was so angsty and feely T_T my favorite couple, torn apart by their rational stupidy :/ *sniffs* I wonder what they'll do now